Just Ignore That Unholy Howling You Hear

It is just all the Demons in Hell celebrating my birthday, fifty two years ago.

As I recall from my Birth Certificate, I was born at 2:10 AM on January 31st, 1960.

That was a long time ago.
Just about the time the Oakland Raiders came into being too.
Of course, having been shat out in Oakland, ya damn well know I have been a Raiders fan my entire life.

No Color television, no remotes even, I WAS the remote, No Microwave ovens.
The Russians had just kicked our asses with Sputnik too.

No Radial tires,just one Ornery little fucking baby screaming into the void, just like I do now.
Some things just never change, I still love boobs too.

I seriously thought I would never live to see thirty way back when and now here I am still.

I must be more resilient than I imagined.
I crashed and/or totalled 29 cars in ten years in my early years and I pay for that shit every day but you can bet your ass I have some good stories to tell.

Thanks fer stopping by and have a shot for me, ya know damn good and well I will.

Someone You Should Read, Seriously

Take a gander of what this guy points out, oh, so well.

It is to my discredit that I have not pointed him out far sooner, maybe my guilty pleasure.
Please let me introduce to you, Grung E Gene, from Disaffected and It Feels So Good.

Please take a moment and let what he said sink in.

Tell him Busted sent ya too.

He has been on Ye Olde Blogroll for quite a while now.

Ya Gotta Love The Internet

I finally got around to changing the belt on my Moms Kirby vacuum cleaner.

I got in the closet and drug the sonofabitch out, sat down and realized there were some parts missing.
I got back in the closet and drug out anything remotely looking like vacuum cleaner parts and sat back down.
I sat and stared at the fucking thing for a good full minute, trying to figure out what I was going to have to get to put it back together..
I mean, I know there were pieces but it wasn't real obvious how it went back together.

I kinda figured it out but wasn't quite sure how to proceed..
Enter Google.

I typed in Kirby Belt Replacement Procedure and Viola!

The fourth line down hooked me up with a Youtube
In less than three minutes it was back up and running with ZERO tools involved.

Ya gotta fucking love that shit.

Even better, there was some strangely compelling weird tune in the back ground;



This isn't the first time I have hit the web looking for instructions by any means either.
There is the compilation of the total of humanities knowledge on the web, ya just gotta know how to find it.

Pot Calls Kettle Black

Er, wait, that didn't come out right.

Speaking of Right, the current Greek Tragedy of the Republican nomination process just took a turn I would never, ever expect to see.

After all, Newt is a master of the racist dogwhistle.

Desperate, are we?

Myself, I am a lily white fella from Irish descent and if I were to meet Newt face to face, one of us would walk away with a slight discoloration under one or both eyes.

The fact that Cain had to suck it up so far as to have to endorse this fucking scumbag only highlites the obvious fact that the Republican party makes the San Andreas fault look like a straight edge.

Face it, the Republicans have done nothing lately except shoot themselves in the foot and I am all about buying another box of rounds to help them on their way.

I don't know about Herman Cain but I still have a shred of dignity.

I Still miss this fucking guy, NSFW

One of the funniest motherfuckers I have ever seen in my entire life, bar none.
The man pulled no punches.

RIP Richard.

To The Moon, Alice

Forgive me for remebering that classic line from The Jackie Gleason Show but now I am hearing that the Crazy Fuck known as Newt Fucking Gingrich promises us he will colonize the moon if elected President.

In light of all of our economic woes, I fully and completely back this outrageous idea.
As long as every fucking crazy Republican candidate is on board the first rocket.

Start with the current crop of Republican candidates for President, including Newtie and you have my most sincere backing of this project. Rush Limbaugh can actually be co pilot as long as he doesn't touch any buttons or switches.
As a matter of fact, I will donate some of my hard earned cash and start an internet pledge drive to helpfully fund his dream.

Once they arrive, I move to cut all funding and turn our attention back to our current economic concerns so we can actually make some progress without The Party of No being around to fuck things up.
It is a matter of record that these fucking clowns can break a cast iron anvil with a rubber mallet anyways.

Start fueling that rocket.

I'm A Lucky Dude.

It's nice to have friends.
My buddy Steve showed up and used his Chrysler mini van with plastic bumpers to push that old Chevy around , backwards, forwards, into the drive way and into the garage head first where I can jack the fucker up and get under it.

Bonus, he is the shit, he brought me some jack stands too.

Double bonus points, my buddy and his partner in crime Tim showed up to make sure it happened.

Thank you very much fella's.
It's nosed in  so I can get to the wiring and the starter and I didn't have to have everyone and their
niece go out in the street and get the fucker in the garage again.


You would think I could write myself a note not to drive the bastard, now I don't need one.

My pal is upset that I let myself talk him out of this thing.
He is upset I have so many problems.

I am a big boy and I knew what I was getting into.
Imagine an old Chevy that gets twice the mileage of my old Ford, drives like a car instead of a tank  and still goes like a scalded cat.

Yes, I am a stubborn fucker, my wife still hates the ugly bastard but it is beyond the point of no return now.

I have way too much into it now, which is typical of my narrow ass but I actually like driving it when it works.

I WILL, fix this ugly old fucker and I Will enjoy it, eventually.

Why I Awlays Hated Chevy's

Stupid sonsabitches ran all the hot wires to the whole car from the starter solenoid.
Like you can slide under a 1980 El Camino in a parking lot.

All because of some fucking vacuum cleaner belts that my mom ordered on line over a month ago, called about last week and never fucking showed up.

I crawled under that fucker with a pocket knife and finally got it to turn over untill my face turned blue.
Unfortunately for me, who ever the crankster gangster who had it before me, when "It" put another motor in it, had no idea that the fucking wiring went right by the exhaust manifoold and all those purty fucking wires done turned into burnt spaghetti..
I completely forgot about this issue and I jumped into the fucker afyer a month and it fired right up.
Two miles away, right in front of the Vacuum cleaner joint and three brand new belts that my Mom ordered a month ago and the fucker wouldn't start.

Laying under that bitch and can't get my head under it, I finally jumped across the starter solenoid and flat out ruined a nice little pocket knife, with the key on.
Crank over until the knife gets too hot to hold onto and nothing happens.

The Lovely wife did not know I took the POS and I was damned if I was going to call her about it, she couldn't do a fucking thing anyway.
I called my buddy, had to piss like a ruptured goat and ran to a restaraunt nearby.
They advertised a Happy Hour and when I asked for a beer, the pretty young thing tells me they don't sell any kind of alcohol.

How do you advertise Happy Hour with Coke, Pepsi and  power aide?



Fuck that, ran across the street, had a quick 7and7 and walked out to see my alternate friend go around the corner.
Pushed the fucking Chevy back, hooked up the tow line and off we went.
Got halfway home and while I was in neutral, hit the key and it fired right up.
Had him pull over, got out, unhooked the bastard and got within a half mile of the house when I went around a corner and  bleh, dead again.

Hooked the fucker up again, had him finish dragging my ass home, introduced him to the wife and here we are.
She isn't exactly thrilled, she does have the new belts and my ugly Chevy is siting out in the street.
The neighbors are already beyond themselves with joy that I start my 67 Ford 3/4 quarter ton 4X4 up  at six thirty that wakes their dead ancestors up every  morning. Did I mention that I am living at my parents house and there is a long line of snooty mother fuckers around here?

Heh, life is good.

Thanks fer stopping by.

That Was A Complete Waste Of Electrons.

See the previous post, I fell alseep about ten minutes in.


So much for great oratory.

Yawn.

Maybe Later.

I need a shower and a shave in the worst way and I sure as shit hope that ain't my feet I smell, I think the cat has been rolling in something in the back yard.
Been working, been busy, been tired.

I asked the beauty to tune in the State of The Union on an alternate television because I am a nice fucking guy but I want to see it after all the goat fucking I have been exposed to lately, a jack ass would be a nice change.

We shall see if I have anything coherent to say later or if I call Bullshit after an Ass fucking and the requisite Pig Fuckers who can never quit running their mouths and kissing and telling.

This Is Why You Can't Have A Fucking Job

AP)  PANAMA CITY, Panama — A company expanding the Panama Canal has settled a strike by 6,000 workers that had paralyzed work for six days.

The multinational consortium Grupo Unidos por el Canal says in a news release that the workers have agreed to a 13 percent wage increase and will return to work on Monday.

Union representative Saul Mendez says workers are not completely happy with the deal raising hourly pay to about $3.34 an hour, but still made important advances. The workers had been seeking a pay raise to as much as $10 an hour.

The company already had agreed to meet worker demands to cover delayed overtime and weekend pay. It blamed bookkeeping errors for the delay.

What this article doesn't mention, is that this project is a FIVE POINT TWO BILLION Dollar project, that will divert shipping from West Coast ports like L.A. and these fucking scumbags were paying some workers as little as two fucking fifty an hour for serious labor and had not even bothered to do that because of "book keeping errors".

Yeah, right.

This project would cost fifty times as much if they had to pay a living wage in this country,
which is why they pay these busting ass  men and women shit wages, because they can and they do.

How much you want to bet the safety and well being of these hard working people is least and last on their agenda?

It is to laugh and cry real tears that this bullshit is allowed to happen.

I am still thankful and have days when I hate getting up to a job that I am daily learning about and there is no doubt I am going to die broke but at least I make enough of a wage that I don't have to eat
rice and beans and every little varmint pieces I can get my hands on.

People in this country have been programmed by the oh, so, compliant media to distrust unions.

It goes against the old saying ,"strength in numbers"

So, take heart my fellow wage slaves, at least we don't have to worry about contracting Malaria for three fucking bucks an hour.

Really Baltimore?

Fourth and six, three points down in a Championship game,three minutes left, you  use a time out and instead kicking a motherfucking field goal to tie it up and possibly go into overtime, instead, you opt to go for it.
Idiots .
Then ya get down to the last of the game and actually try to tie it up annnnnnd no.
Missed the fucking field goal.

There is a coach who should unemployed before I get done typing this sentence.

I did love that tipped in the end zone interception though.
I would give that play of the year.

Now onto the Giants VS The Niners game.

Fuck the Niners.
Even though I should root for the fuckers, they are across the bay from my birthplace, Oakland and I actually worked in "The City" for a time.
Fuck them anyway.

Damn you Raiders too.
You suck.

Time to grab another beer and watch some fucking football.

Thanks fer stopping by.

My Heart Bleeds For These Cocksuckers At Goldman Sachs

Wahh, they aren't getting obscene bonuses this year.
Some are not getting any at  all.

The fucking horror.

"It's a bloodbath," a midlevel Goldman Sachs employee said in an interview with CNBC. "One girl was actually crying, I think," another Goldman employee said according to the report.
Some first-year Goldman analysts received $40,000 bonuses, and some second-year analysts received bonuses between $40,000 and $56,000, according to Dealbreaker. Business Insider notes that these bonuses can amount to half of these junior bankers' base salaries.
In fact, some Goldman Sachs bankers and traders learned that they were taking home no bonuses at all, the Wall Street Journal reports. And on top of that, the firm halved the total pay of some partners -- the company's highest-level employees -- while some traders got hit even harder.

I have never made forty grand in one year  in my whole life of busting my ass, my body and my knuckles.

Cry me a fucking river.

I am thankful I have a fucking job at all in theses times and at my age and at four months now, I am still employed by a temporary agency.

Crying about a forty grand bonus will get you exactly one well used grease rag around here to wipe your tears away, after I blow my nose in it.


Courtesy of Huffpo,who needs a swift kick in the nuts lately.

Rest In Peace Baby

I was so saddened to see the passing of Etta .

Dayum, that woman could make a dead man pay attention.

Get after it baby.

If Ya Can't Stand The Heat, Get Out Of the Kitchen Newt

Sorry, my Irony meter started spinning like a gyroscope when I saw this one.

Newt rips into the media for questioning him about allegations by his second wife that he asked for an open marriage because he was dicking Calista while he was married and howling like a wolf at the moon about Bill Clinton's affair with the famous blue dress at the same time..

Dude,


The hubris burns.

What do you say to something like that on National television?

Fuck you?

I would.
Fuck you Newt, ya lying, cheating whore hound sonofabitch would be accurate.

The balls of this guy, really?
It has been widely reported that he asked for a divorce from his then wife while she lay in a hospital bed trying to fight cancer, this would be the same wife, while in the hospital, that he had the fucking nads to ask if it was OK if she didn't mind if he was fucking some rich, younger lady  whom just happened to be the heir to the Budweiser fortune.

Apparently,he asked her if it would be just peachy if he could stay married and bang Calista too.
Gee, I wonder what she REALLY said to that...

I used to drink so much Bud, when I quit, they had to shoot three of those Clydesdales because they couldn't afford to fed the poor things.

Back to Newt.
I am seeing some serious dog whistle bullshit come out of his mouth because he was in South nigger hating Carolina.


See how that works for ya as you have to campaign in places like, anywhere else.

I'll be damned if I am going to give those ignorant fucks another mention.

To recap, Newt was mortified that some propaganda repeater, they used to be called reporters,
had the inexcusable gall to call him out on his hypocrisy and hit the fainting couch about a subject he was, at the time, excoriating a sitting President for doing the same damn thing, at the same damn time.

There are so many other things that Newt Fucking Gingrich can be proven to be piously doing a double standard about that my  fucking head spins to the impossible fact that any reasoning individual with an IQ above my shoe size is even considering to elect this cancerous growth on our electoral process to the highest office in the land and that makes me want to gag.

Natural Selection Rules!

Those idiot birthers that,cain't have no black folks around and general deniers of scientific theory, specifically those who think the Earth is only six thousand years old, flat and don't believe in evolution can now kiss my fucking ass on Main street at High Noon .
Have a nice dose of Darwinism.

The theory of evolution is that certain species adapt to environmental stimuli to beat out and adapt physically, the nearest competitor, for either food, intelligence, shelter or sex to propagate their immediate family line.

See exhibit A below.

Do I give a shit if she can tie her shoes?
No.
Do I give a shit whether or not she progenerates with my seed and has the ultimate heirs?

Fuck no.

That must be exactly what Rick Perry's dad was thinking too.
Would I beat the shit out of Rick Perrys' dad to make sure she didn't have any little Rick Perry's?

Answer that yourself.

Hownthe fuck that moron got elected as a Governor of anything besides a portable toilet is beyond my grasp of reality.

Yet, here the man was on national tee vee, spouting stupid shit that just makes you shake your head and makes you want to go to the bathroom to wipe your ass because it feels really nasty when you realize their is shit running down the inside of your left leg at work.

Fear not, the process of Natural selection has just relieved us all of such a nightmare of someone dumber that Stupie McFuckwit, also from Texas, from being elected Idiot In Chief.
I am now rooting for a big bus and Newt having a meeting on the corner of Main and Good Night.

So long dick head and happy trails, all the way into a collection of barrel cactus and get naked honey,,

Take That, Ya Sonsabitches!

We might not be the 99%er's, but we can seriously deliver a swift kick in the balls when it counts.

Some folks woke up holding theirs in their hands this morning.

When ya piss off Google and Wikipedia, people stand up and take notice. Especially some craven fucking asshole politicians.

Us wee little Bloggers might not have made that much of a difference but if ya don't hang together, ya hang separately, so I have heard.


It is of vital interest that the internet remains neutral, even if there are some bad things going on.

God knows I have had more than one computer get dead with a fucking virus.
Those people need to be hunted down and eviscerated on national television, fucking dicks.

Like someone famous once said, life isn't fair.

I will tell you what got their attention,
If outfits like Google shut down completely, even voluntarily, for one fucking day, the world as we know it would come to a stand still and someone finally pointed that out to those ignorant fucks in Congress.


If you took a stand, take a bow.

It's called Democracy and it can happen so fast in this day and age it will make your fucking head spin.

Fuck You, You Rotten Motherfuckers ,Goodnight SOPA

/http://sopastrike.com/

Damn, I Just Wore Out A Brand New Tinfoil Hat.

My internet friend, Just An Earthbound Misfit, I, wandered upon an interesting test.
See how many pictures of Cops and Military personnel you can tell the difference between, 21 times.
It is quite telling about what has been the militarisation of our police forces over the past thirty years and amazingly enough, even though I have never been in the military, I not only bested her score,(Navy) 16 out 21, I beat my other pal Gordon,( Marines)14 out of 21 and was beat by Fixer (Air Force)18 out of 21, by one.

Like I said, my tinfoil hat is screwed on a little tight but it seems maybe that ain't such a bad thing after all.

Go ahead, try it yourself.

Sick Day

I'm not sure but the wife is convinced I got a dose of something from the brand new fry pans I got her.
I ate the first meal of bacon and eggs.
They tasted fine but she swears that pan smelled funny as it got hot, like it was out gassing something.

They are those fancy green non stick (HA!) fry pans they advertise on tee vee.

Anyway, went to bed about ten and woke up at twelve thirty and that was all she wrote.

I don't think I ever did go back to sleep.

I tossed and turned, had visual images tearing through my mind at high speed and then started getting clammy and sweating to the point the sheets got damp.

I laid there dreading having to get up and go to work with no sleep all night and after a seeming eternity, the alarm finally went off and I got up.

I felt like shit but got up to get dressed.
I made it ten feet out of the bedroom when the dry heaves hit.

That lasted long enough for me to decide I wasn't going anywhere.

I texted a co worker,no one answers the phone at work at 6 AM apparently so I left a voice mail for my boss and went back to bed.

Been there pretty much ever since but I did finally drift off about 7:30 and slept hard for an hour.
I would wake every hour for a minute then crash hard.
After about eleven I finally went down hard until about one,got up and took two drags off a cigarette and went back to bed.

I have been up about ten minutes, long enough to see it is snowing like crazy and the wife getting ready to haul ass to the store for some last minute shit.
I mean it is really coming down out there.

Great....
I still have half a headache and am still tired but if want to get any sleep tonight I don't dare go back to bed.

Thanks fer stopping by.

Happy Birthday Baby!

Today is The Wife's Birthday, she turned Fifty today.

She is a good looking woman with a very fine figure and she puts up with my shit really well.

I am waiting for her to get changed, I bought her a gift certificate for Christmas and she went to the spa and got all dolled up today.

As if she wasn't hot enough, ooooh, la la!
I am one lucky bastard.

Sorry, no pictures for the pervs out there, this is all mine.

Anyway,I got her a big assed Garnet ring that matches the necklace I got her for Christmas,it is her birthday stone and both are quite pretty as she is.

Going out to dinner somewhere here shortly, there are many choices to pick from within a couple of miles. Absolutely no Sea Food for her, Me? I love a good steak but surf and turf with crustaceans is my favorite.

Can you keep a secret?

I have a surprise birthday party going on tomorrow that, so far, she doesn't have a clue about yet.

If you would be so kind, please wish my honey a Happy Birthday.

She is a damn good woman .

In the mean time, thanks fer stopping by.

My Response to the Republican Primaries

The short translation,
Oh Fuck No!

I could give a rats ass who does what when it comes to this goat rodeo anyway.

Spend yer monies, knock the crazies and stupid fucks out on the corner on yer way to the next primary and let me know when the biggest fucking hypocrite with the deepest pockets emerges as the apparent winner in your little circle jerk is and then go the fuck away.



Go for the throat kitty!

The World As You Know It Is Coming To An End

Want proof the World Wide Economic Crisis is still in full bloom?

England is telling Scotland they are on their own.

LONDON -- Breaking up is supposed to be hard to do – but Britain's government confirmed Tuesday it would happily offer Scotland the powers it needs to sever centuries-old ties to England.

Prime Minister David Cameron's government said it would sweep away legal hurdles to allow the Scots a vote on whether their country should become independent for the first time since the 18th Century Act of Union, which united Scotland with England to create Great Britain.


The end of the British Empire, officially.

Don't hold your breath when Northern Ireland and even Wales get the same offer.

In the mean time, I see Washington D.C. wants to become the 51'st state, yet again.

Good luck with that, they can't even afford caviar in the White House every other Thursday.

If William Wallace could find enough body parts to get his hands on both of his balls, there would be a huge party in Scotland.
Apparently, I am only Double Irish because my ancestors got driven out of Scotland back in the day.

It gives me a visceral grin to see Britain have to give up skimming all the sixpense and Quid from the Scots in taxes and have to cut the cord to save their own asses because of the few greedy bastards who are in cahoots with the greedy fucking bastards on this side of the pond.

The Scots are in a tragedy financially but if they can gain independence and survive financially, there will be Hell to pay.

Hell.To Pay.

If Greece can pull it out, sure as shit, the Scots can and like I just said, there will be economic warfare coming to London such as they have not seen since the Blitzkreig of 42.

Two Down

Who do I have to thank for this unexpected turn of events?

First, Pat Buchanan got thrown under the bus and now little missy Bristol Palin can't take the heat of the scoundrels in Hollywood and Bailed out back to Alaska to take a job as a receptionist at a Dermatologists office.

Really.

What happened to those lucrative thirty thousand dollar a pop speaking gigs?

The glitz, the fame and fortune?

Give that all up to be a reception desk jockey?

Oh, it's all about the kid say's she.

Of course, Levi is still persuing his dream job, doing jack shit, avoiding her at all costs and not paying a dime in child support.

It's hard for me to feel sorry for the little twit, it's not like her mom, Caribou Barbie, didn't rake in twelve million bucks a couple of years ago.
I don't see any food stamp applications coming from her any time soon.

I am just tickled to my core that there is one more publicity whore off the market,literally. Especially when it has anything to do with the ultimate Grifter from the Republican party.

It has been exceptionally nice and quiet when it comes to the Wench from Wasilla.

Apparently she got the message that she doesn't have a snowballs chance in the still warm rectum of a reindeer's ass that she just shot out of a helicopter that she will ever, ever,
hold high office in this country, ever again.

Two down, now for Meghan McCain to go the fuck away.

Good Riddance, You Racist MotherFucker And Stay Gone.

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

A Re Post

Grab your headphones, a beer and your balls.

JP turned me onto these guys from Iraq a couple of years ago and for some damn reason this tune started going through my head at work the other day.
Do yourself a favor and go read the back ground on these guys.
In the middle of Stupie McFuckwits war, they were cranking out some serious tunes.

Remember, I have to wear ear plugs because of all of the heavy machinery going full blast and I can tend to let my mind wander at times when I am just standing around for a few minutes.

Sometimes I find myself hearing the strangest music in my head out of the blue but I always really liked these guys from Iraq.

Be patient, wait for the first minute and then it starts to get good. With a decent set of headphones, tune into the drummer dude, he is off the fucking charts.
You can obviously hear the Middle East influence in their music and they turn it into serious Rock and Roll.


About 2:45 in, they make Metallica sound like a virgin caught with a dick in her mouth.

Beware, there be heavy metal in these here parts and I have listened to this so many times I am starting to think there is something wrong with me, like you haven't noticed.
Damned if I know why but once or twice a year I have to have a serious medical sized dose of Metal music. Intensive care treatment.
Feed the Beast kind of thing.
Part of what keeps me Ornery I guess.

Thanks JP, this is a winner.

Drama

As if there isn't enough in real life, the wife likes to watch soap operas, just for fun, my Dad watches the same ones she does.

I know enough Drama Queens personally that all I have to do is pick up the phone and I can skip an entire season after a fifteen minute phone call, seriously.

Apparently, there is a 24 hour Soap Opera channel I was blissfully unaware of until recently.

Even worse, there are people on some of these soaps I even recognize from decades ago.

Some have aged well, some look like road kill.

Some are little punk assed kids who couldn't act their way out of a wet paper bag too.

To each their own I suppose but I would rather watch the Food Channel, or paint dry.

The wife stays up until one or later in the morning watching this crap.

Thankfully, I tend to fall asleep in my chair long before that.

The thing with Soaps is that you can quit watching them for six months and come back and not miss a fucking thing.
They drag shit out to the point of absurdity.

I remember twenty five years ago, there was a wedding on one of those sonsabitches that took a year and a half before there was a kiss and the honeymoon took another six months.

That was when I had my lower back fused in a five hour operation and was bed ridden for several months and went stir crazy with nothing to do.

Yeah, I had nothing better to do and that was all that was on all fucking day.
Even Oprah wasn't around back then.

I still hate that fucker Victor and that bastard is still around after all these years.

Some things never change.

You go dude.

How Many Of These Things Do I Have To Go Through In One Week?

Jack Abramoff critiques OWS, Republicans’ media exposure in Yahoo News interview
Ya gotta read this to believe it, Jack Abramoff,prison time for corruption, says he wants to "advise" The OWS protesters.

Jesus H. Fucking Christ, the man has balls.

I wouldn't trust that rotten fucker to help my Grandmother across the street without a gun to his head.

Prior to his 2006 guilty plea for conspiracy, mail fraud and tax evasion in schemes that brought down lawmakers, lobbyists and Hill staffers, Abramoff hobnobbed with the most elite Washingtonians.
snip

That's right,
The former felon, who served three and a half years in prison for corruption, including bribing public officials, is promoting a new book, Capitol Punishment: The Hard Truth About Corruption From America's Most Notorious Lobbyist, which offers an autobiographical account of his rise and fall while also presenting a prescription for cleaning up Washington.

snip

Go read the whole thing and if you have the stomach, watch the video.

All I have to say to him is that he can go fuck himself.

To The Crux Of The Buiscit

Lets get down and go after the cocksuckers who are ultimately responsible for the fucking shit sandwich we live every fucking day.

Protesters affiliated with the Occupy Wall Street movement say they have filed paperwork with the National Park Service seeking permission to demonstrate on the National Mall on Jan. 17 in an event billed by the group as “Occupy Congress.” However, a spokeswoman for the National Park Service said that they had not yet received the application.

The application was posted online Tuesday by applicants listed as “Occupy Congress and Occupy DC,” and with McPherson Square listed as as the applicant’s address. “Peaceful 1st Amendment demonstrations, including holding signs and group speaking”is the stated purpose.

Fuck the Supreme Court, the only reason those fucking cocksuckers have a say in any damn thing is because Congress passed some bullshit they shouldn't have.

Occupy them, make them extremely uncomfortable to the point they hide their bought fucking asses and bring on the Media.

Romney, Frothy, Neck And Neck In Iowa

Frothy with a huge COME back.

Best news of the day,

And Texas Gov. Rick Perry, running in fifth, said late Tuesday that he would return to Texas to consider whether his campaign would continue.


Fly past Go, do not collect 200 bucks and roll off the runway into the Gulf at high speed.

Frothy Mess comes in second?

BWAAAAHAAAHAHAHAAA!!!

I will leave that alone for now.


There is a pair to draw to.


No mention of Crazy Lady.

Dammit, I wanted her to take a ton of votes.

Dammit Newt, Ya Broke it!

I want a new one ,it seems, every damned day lately.

I almost choked when I read this one;

Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich insisted on Tuesday that that fellow candidate Mitt Romney was a "liar," but could support him over Barack Obama if the former Massachusetts governor became the eventual Republican nominee.

At a Monday campaign event, Gingrich had complained about Romney refusing to speak out against attack ads being aired by a pro-Romney Super PAC.

"Here is my simple tag line: Somebody who will lie to you to get to be president will lie to you when they are president," Gingrich told supporters.

In an interview Tuesday morning, CBS correspondent Norah O'Donnell asked Gingrich if he was calling Romney a "liar."

"Yes," Gingrich replied.

My Bold and his too.
He is a bold, I mean Bald Faced fucking liar.
Newt has stuck his forked tongue out so many times over the years it takes a career lying assed politician with the attention span of a flea and the mentality of a Bull in a China shop to make a statement like that on National television..

What he don't break, he shits on.

Thanks for the inspiration, Squatlo.



The beauty of it all is that he is breaking Ronny Rayguns ultimate rule, Republicans don't attack fellow Republicans.

Excuse me while I have a shot and laugh until my sides hurt.

I haven't looked at any results from the Iowa primary yet but I will stick my little pecker neck out and predict Newtie just went down in flames.

BooYah.

Go have a nice "Santorum Salad" and don't forget to wipe your face, asshole.

Brush your fucking teeth too, everything that comes out of your mouth smells like Bullshit.

Cover Your Eyes, My Delicate Flowers

The rest of you sick fucking bastards, line up and get ready to laugh your fucking Asses Off at the ignorance on display here.

For those of you who have led a sheltered life, let me just point out how fucking hilarious this is.

First, we have a Santorum.
Not the idiot dumbfuck, the Brilliant,huge Fuck You, that has followed this fucking idiot around the internet for years now.
Brilliant being an understatement.

Google it, I fucking dare ya.
Never mind, ya fucking pussies, let me do it for ya;

Santorum (san-TOR-um) n.
1. The frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter
that is sometimes the by-product of anal sex.

If you are not long on the internets, you might not know this, now you do, this is internet gold.

It has been to Mars and back, it is so funny.
Talk about a google bomb, that made Nagasaki look like a fire cracker.

Next up, for you new initiates, is "Tossing Your Salad".

DO NOT! Click that link if you are a repressed, right wing homophobe or have serious issues with sexual practices other than the Missionary position and can't stand thinking of anyone, anywhere, performing sexual acts that conflict with your strict upbringing.

If you can hang, then the irony of some stupid rednecked idiot from Iowa renaming his Chicken salad, " Santorum Salad" should cause your Irony Meter to go around and around like a Merry Go Round on Amphetamines and cause every one who knows the joke to write in and give it a really nice review.

Snort!

LMFAO!!!

Ya just can't make this shit up.

I wonder if it comes with a big pickle on the side?

It must have some really, really, "Creamy", dressing....

OK, I gotta stop now, this could get deliciously disgusting.

Pretty Soon, My Buddy Gord Is Going To Kill My Ass.

God Bless him,he finds the funniest shit.

I can't begin to count how many gallons of beer that have been through my sinuses over the years.

Here we go again, he found another funny...

The money quote from Kim Jong UN, the new supreme leader of North Korea in a letter to us, the morons wandering the streets looking for a New Messiah.

Here is why I am writing to you today: on Tuesday, you will go to your caucuses and choose from among a field of Republican presidential candidates. And let me tell you, the idea of any of these people getting nuclear weapons scares the shit out of me.

Oh fuck me, go read the whole thing while I find another towel and the Windex.

Damn you Gord, I just got this new laptop for Christmas and here ya are,breaking it in right for me..
Happy New Year.

Stay Crazy, PETA

Sometimes I wonder what the thought process is with some people.

CHICAGO (AP) —

An animal rights group wants Illinois to install highway signs in memory of cattle killed when trucks hauling them flipped in two separate wrecks.

People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals has asked for permission to buy the markers, one in suburban Chicago and one northwest of Peoria. The group says the signs would pay tribute to the more than 20 cattle killed as a result of negligent driving this year.

I have better idea for you fucking idiots, try using your time and energy investing in traveling roadside barbeques.
Free BBQ sauce at every stop.

Some peoples kids, I swear.

Now I want some tasty dead cow parts, maybe a nice T Bone.

Happy New Years,Joey, You Rotten Sonofabitch.

Just to start it right, remember, Joe Lieberman is gone after this year.

Just for a double plus bonus, that other republican Light, Ben Nelson(T for Traitor) from Nebraska just bailed out too.

I am going to party till I pass out the day I see that rotten fucking sonofabitch no good self serving cocksucker , "Short Ride" to the nearest clinic, double back stabbing turncoat cock swallowing weasel, needle dick bug fucking, turncoat, rotten money grubbing, sell out ,self serving,AIPAC bitch, go down the fucking road.

That scumbag is the head of DHS and absolutely refused to investigate one single allegation against the Bush Administration.

He is dirty beyond dirty and he needs to get thrown out of government or any entity that could possibly have anything to do with government until fifteen years after the motherfucker has been in the ground kicking up Hemlock seeds.

Fuck him and every sonofabitch he does business with.
Rot in Hell under a mile of the Devil's rotten, stinky Gym socks and road stripe stained jock straps, you prick.

My contempt for Joe Lieberman is infinite and eternal.

Just ask me.

I'm Whupped

I hope everyone had a nice Christmas, I certainly did, even against my protestations, the wife made DAMN sure.


As to being tired, since last Friday, I have put in 23 and a half hours of overtime.

I had Christmas day off and Monday was time and a half because of the Temp agency. I just got off a twelve hour shift and am grateful, I was fully convinced it was going to be a true double, 16 hours then turn around and be back at seven in the morning with about six hours of sleep and I wasn't looking forward to that one bit.

So, now ya know why it is so quiet around here, I was in bed at eight o:clock last night because I knew today was going to be a long one.

I ain't really bitching,just tired. I am damn glad I have a job at all but there has to be a happy medium somewhere!

Eventually, I will get some time to catch up with what is going on, in the mean time;
Fuck Newt Gingrich.

Thanks fer stopping by.

Update, Bonus Round out of the eight guy's I work with throughout the day, five of those motherfuckers have been passing around a nasty head cold.
It is a matter of time and every. fucking. time. I get a head cold, it goes directly to my chest and stays there.
Mark my words, you will soon see me whining and bitching about being sick.
Rotten sonsabitches, stay the fuck home.It's like a fucking Daycare center around there.

Update two;
Another fourteen hours today.
I thought I was tired last night, HA!

Merry Christmas

From all of us Ornery Bastards here.
I certainly hope and pray yours is twice as good as mine is and mine so far has been over the top thanks to the lovely and dangerous* Mrs. Busted.
I certainly hope the coming New Year is ten times better than the last few too, we could all use a break from thieving fucking money men and corrupt partisan politicians.

Thank you from my heart for stopping by, leaving great comments and continuing to inspire me to keep screaming into the void.

I would also like to take a moment to give very special thanks to those who have given to me from their hearts and wallets in the last year.
Things got really tight a few times and every, damned, time, someone of you would just surprise the absolute shit out of me with a very generous donation and I want to thank you personally.

When I am a bit flush once in a great while, I pay that forward every chance I get.

Happy Holidays and may they be over soon, I ain't a Christmas loving guy yet but now that the Mrs. is kicking my ass, we shall see just how fucking jolly I can get.
She is currently sitting on a blanket right in front of me, with the Santa hat on, a red neglige and my favorite Mrs. Santa Red panties on, asking me me if I want some peanut butter bars.

You will have to excuse me now, I just had six typo's in a row.

Merry Christmas to you all.


* Brazenly stolen fromSquatlo Rant, I love that guy.

Have Some Cookies

The lovely wife goes all out at Christmas and made three dozen cookies and some White chocolate Chex Mix too.

Fudge with Butterscotch chips that are to die for.

I took a bunch of her cookies to work and handed them out.

One of the guy's told me to tell her they tasted like shit and she needed to make more so he could try them again.

That's a score.

Mwaa honey.

Bof A Gets off Dirt Cheap

As amazing as it is that even one of these dirt bag fucking banks got sued for their ass jacking mortgage practices, one of the worst motherfuckers just got a slap on the hand and walked away for pennies on the dollar.

Why even bother?
335 million bucks is a fucking disgrace. Fucking around within the laws and without needs to stop.
Take my word for it, BofA is to this day is trying to figure out how to fuck you, even it is for two fucking cents.
That shit adds up.

I read in the paper today the Feds are compiling some tougher rules on the big, Mega banks, they have not been implemented yet and the cocksuckers are already squealing like stuck pigs.
The feds say they need to keep a bunch more cash to stave off more bail outs in case they screw the pooch again like they did when they started squealing they needed to be bailed out, to the tune of Billions of tax payer money.

Anyone remember that shit?
they went to Congress and demanded billions of dollars, with a three page
note written on cocktail napkins and threatened financial Armageddon if their demands were not met immediately.

It is fucking comedy, a banker handing over a note to rob the biggest bank in the world and walked away scot free.

I have a better idea, if you are too big to fail, you are too big to exist.
The fucking Feds need to get serious and break those fuckers up so they can't even begin to threaten our National economy, let alone the entire World economy.
The World economy is still so unstable because of this bullshit, the mess in Europe, where fuckers like GoldMan Sachs dumped their toxic shit, on purpose, is to this day, almost five years later, still fucking the world economy, cash flow, employment, housing and mortgage rates, foreclosures and causing entire countries to flirt with bankruptcy.

The rotten cocksuckers have fucked around enough to drop our countries credit rating and get devalued for the first time in history and the dirty sonsabitches in charge of those same financial institutions not only walk free like the war criminals of the Bush administration, but still collect record compensation packages including 20 fucking million dollars for the asshole Jamie Dimon at JP Morgan;

Dimon's total compensation jumped nearly 1,500 percent to $20.8 million in 2010 from $1.3 million a year earlier, based on the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission's compensation formula, a regulatory filing showed.

Go after these sonsabitches and make it hurt, that is the whole point you dumbasses!

1500 percent.
Right.

When is the last time you got a raise big enough to buy a lambourghini on a fucking whim?

Better yet, when is the last time you got a raise, period?

Even fucking better, are you currently employed?

BofA just walked away laughing their asses off.

They bought a company that fucked thousands of people out of their homes and made money doing it.Better yet, they are sitting on billions of dollars of foreclosed Real estate that they are keeping off the books and stand to make a very, tidy, profit eventually.

That shit needs to stop.

If our government seems to think they can arrest and detain me as a domestic terrorist with no warrant and on their say, I want to see Wall Street emptied out by five PM Friday and Guantanamo full to the point they have to ship in barges out in the bay to hold all those domestic terrorists who killed our economy, five years ago, and still get millions of dollars a year for getting away with it.

Kiss my fucking ass.

Santa Ain't Looking So Good This Year

Damn dude, a Speedo?
Really?
As a matter of fact, I ain't so sure that is a dude after all, which scares the shit out of me even more!

Well, Christmas is going to be pretty damn tight around this whole country again this year but in the spirit of the season, I would like to thank each and everyone who stopped by my little rant hole and would like to extend my best wishes to you and yours for a Happy New year.

As a token of my affection, let me give you a dose of eye bleach to erase that last image and put me back in your good graces;

No my dear lady friends, I didn't forget you.... Fair is fair.

I just might get that Google warning about inappropriate content yet but it's just because I love ya honeys.

Who am I trying to kid, I ain't ending this post looking at some guy's ass, this one is for me!

Merry Christmas to you all and thanks fer stopping by.

Oh, Great

Now we get to deal with another chuckle head.

It's not like North Korea is any thing kind of stable, that place has been fucked up crazy for eighty fucking years.
Kim's kid is in no way ready to run a dictatorship with millions of starving people.

Forget Iran, this is where the neocons are going to point their little warmongering dicks at now.

Bet me money.

It's a whole new ball game .

Got My Hair Cut Yesterday, Both Of Them

Yeah, I was over due.
Took the boy with me, he has been clamoring for a hair cut for days.

Unusual for a kid.
There is a little barber shop in the town I lived in and I have literally been going to that place for twenty years now.
Two sweet ladies owned the place and one of those ladies was a dear, dear friend.
I just flat loved Linda.

Pretty little blond, thin and just a sweet heart.
She used to invite me to parties at her place fifteen miles out of town, she lived right next to the river.

I will never forget watching the salmon digging nests in the gravel and spawning five feet away.

She has been gone five years now.

Liver cancer.
I went and saw her a couple of months before she passed away and there wasn't much left of her then.
I was almost afraid to give her a hug, I thought I would break her.

If she weighed eighty pounds I would have been surprised.

I do miss that lady to this day.
That barber shop is right next to the bar I used to live in and she would come get my drunk ass and drag me over to give me a good going over, the works.
Hair cut, beard trim, eye brows, mustache and a neck trim for twelve bucks.

Her partner Brenda still does that for me and I don't ever remember walking out of there without giving her twenty.

That's because I think the world of her and I only get my hairs cut three times a year.
Both of them.

Something to give you a chuckle regarding barbers,
when I was a kid, maybe six or seven, my Grandfather took me and my little brother to the barber shop.
He was two or three and the barber put a booster seat on the chair, picked him up, sat him down and asked him what kind of hair cut he wanted.

He pointed at my very bald Grandpa and said he wanted one just like him.
One with a hole in the middle.


Thanks fer stopping by.

Update'

Just to let you know, Linda was very active in the community and was adored by hundreds of other people too.

So much so ,that the city put a cast iron bench in the park down town and put a small, solid rock column in the ground with her picture on it as a remembrance.

I have been known to go visit her on occasion and am overdue.

Good Eats

Oh my, the wife out did herself for dinner tonight.

Thin cut pork chops, salt, pepper, a good dose of chili powder and fry the living shit out of them.

Crunchy on the outside and sweet and juicy at the bone.

Fried potatoes, bread and butter, a nice salad and yes, Ma'am, you have my favorite dinner.

All I missed was a chunk of raw onion.
I am talking some awesome grub here.

I ate so much I am comfortably stuffed.

I normally don't eat very much all at once, I eat here and there all day but I put in eleven hours today and she had the first batch making my favorite noise when I got home.
Silly girl, she was cutting the meat off pork chops with a knife.Lucky me, I just grab 'em and start gnawing on 'em like a starving scavenger beasty.


Table manners?
Don't make me laugh.

My Granny used to make pork chops like this and one day, there was one left.
I grabbed for it at the same time my uncle did, I got there first with my hand and my uncle had a fork.
I drew back bleeding but I had the pork chop, he drilled me but good on the back of my hand and I didn't miss a beat,Scarf.City..

I got to finish off five or six to the point my cat was pissed off, there is nothing left.

Sorry kitty, mine!

Yumm,yumm, I saved one for lunch tomorrow.

Damn, I love this woman.

She is from Minnesota but I am going to teach her how to cook Southern style if it kills me and she just stepped up to the plate, waved her spatula at the fences and knocked one out of the park.

So far, my plan for world domination is on schedule, I have patience......
and an appetite.

Wanna see little pieces of cat and a happy Ornery Bastard on Extra Dry?
Throw one of those pork chops in there.

My all time favorite Far Side cartoon.

Tarsjay Strikes Again.

This is a bit inconceivable but apparently true.

Target, the giant fucking big box store, told a teacher, who's students raise money and go buy stuff for a Crisis nursery, fer chrissakes, that they can't come and spend up to two thousand dollars without two weeks notice because of scheduling issues for the tellers, I shit. You. Not.

They can't handle twenty five extra customers all at once.
I have been in one and they are huge.

A snippet from the teachers recollection of her conversation with some complete fucking bitch at Target that she posted on Facebook,

"Well, you can't come in. The schedule is made and I just don't have the cashiers. I need at least two weeks' notice. Sorry," Shelly said, curtly.

"We usually spend over $2000... Would you prefer we head over to Wal-Mart?"

"Hold on." When Shelly returned to the phone, I was told, "Nope. Sorry. We can't accommodate you."

I told her, "It has never been a problem in the past, and we have never given two weeks' notice before."

"Well, actually, it has been a problem, ma'am, because we can't check other guests out when you're here." She replied, with a definite tone rising in her voice.

"So, we can't spend our money there on Friday?"

"No."

"Okaaayy...I suppose we will go somewhere else then. Thank you," and I hung up.

In her letter, the teacher explains that her students don't all rush into the store and go nutso on the shelves. Instead, they do their shopping in groups of four. They also show up at the store at the non-peak time of 8:45 a.m. and are usually done and gone by 11 a.m.

Additionally, the group has a purchase order charge account with Target so as to make the entire buying process easier.

My emphasis because that makes this so much more ridiculous it went off the chart, they aren't even using cash.


Fuuuck you Target, you just shit the bed in my opinion.

Talk about some bad PR, this went national.

I never liked 'em anyway, if you pay cash for something and want to return it, they won't give your money back, they make ya choke on a motherfucking gift card.

Another Fuck You in my book.

I have heard of some dumb shit but these kids have been doing this for five years now and they even got a heads up letter.

My question is ,
who in the fuck who has ever had an ounce of management experience couldn't accommodate these kids?


Ya lazy wench, get your lazy fucking ass behind the fucking cash register yer own self for fucks sake!

Some people just amaze me with their unwillingness to step up to the plate, ESPECIALLY, when it is for charity.

Being Christmas time, babies are involved and little kids have gone out of their way to help them?

Three strikes, you are out.

You can tell Target to kiss my fucking ass and I drive by one of those motherfuckers going and coming to work every fucking day and I can tell you something you can take to the bank, I will never darken their doorsteps again, as if I was going to anyway.

If you would like, you can drop a dime on 'em and tell them just how much you love what they do for the community.
1-800-591-3869

H/T

Say Hi to Labrys

Some of you might recognize the name, some won't.

She is the epitome of an American Patriot.

Please take a moment and drop by her new place, read what she has to say,leave a comment and tell her Busted sent ya.

This lady has strong opinions and deserves your attention.

The old saying of been there, done that, will take on a new meaning.

I am very happy to see her back in Blogland.

Missed her, I did.

I saw the Eclipse yesterday

Lucky me, I got to be at work at six A.M. and had the chance to go out and watch the lunar eclipse once in a while.

I couldn't believe it, for once, there wasn't a cloud in the sky.

The last one for three years I hear.

Kinda makes ya feel really small but it was beautiful because it was a full moon too.


Have some Bob Seger that fits this occasion very well.
Nice and slow, Shame On On The Moon.

In Light Of the Cold Weather Lately

I thought I would give ya a timely warning;

Don't eat the yellow snow.

Happy Zappadan kids.

Nice Set Of Pipes Ya Got There

I just love this woman.



Her old man wails on the guitar too.
Susan Tedeschi and Derek Trucks.

100,000 RedNeck Dogs Just Heard A loud Whistle

I cannot fucking believe my local paper put this fucking piece of shit, right wing dog whistle motherfucking editorial in their paper without apologizing before hand.

This is so fucking blatant I want to slap someone in the face, namely some right wing authoress named Kathleen Parker,then the editor, twice.


Parker: Gingrich’s sins forgivable to voters.

In the first place, Newt Gingrich is neck and neck with that despicable fucking jerk KKKKarl Rove when it comes to being lying cheating and stealing rotten sonsabitches who should be in jail instead of on television.

Newts escapades are legend.

Way too many to list here.

The fact that this Parker lady is trying to get the rest of us to conveniently forgive and forget all the shit this asshole has pulled in the last thirty years and having it carried by syndication just pisses me the fuck off almost beyond words.

Newt Gingrich is a fucking scumbag of the highest order and wants to be President.

It is to laugh.

Ain't, gonna, happen.

If you thought Cain went down in flames, wait until they turn the microscope on this weasel motherfucker.

Some excerpts from Dame Parker that especially turned my stomach;

Romney may have a more serious problem than is conceivable given the trolley of baggage that Gingrich has to drag around. The largest pieces include: taking huge sums in consulting fees from Freddie Mac; ethics violations from his days as speaker of the House; an extramarital affair with a Hill staffer, his now-wife Callista, while he was trying to impeach Bill Clinton for lying about his extramarital dalliance with an intern. Gingrich’s rise may indicate a populace that considers the nation’s challenges more important than personal foibles. Or, more likely, his surge is an affirmation of the Republican base’s preference for a good ol’ boy from the South rather than an exotic from a vacation reef out in the middle of the ocean.

Get that?

It's my bold because the dog whistle racist undertones just went screaming by like a fucking ambulance siren at full blast.

If you didn't catch that little bit of innuendo, you are a complete fucking moron.

We are not done yet either, the very next sentence,

If exotic got us into this mess, then mightn’t the antidote be a Georgian who knows his way around the Federalist Papers?

Apparently, "exotic" is the new nigger to these people.

They have no sense of shame and try to find a new way to call people who aren't pasty fucking white like that scary looking Calista Gingrich some form of nigger.

Sand nigger, Buck nigger, nigger fucking nigger, these people are stuck in the past, pining to own a couple.
It is beyond disgusting and my local editor high fived some other pasty white asshole and let this shit get printed in my local paper.

Then, the wench goes on to praise old Newtie for being a pious bastard who's most important thing he has ever done was to switch to Catholicism so he can sin without a care in the wold because all he has to do is go to confession, say a few fucking Hail Mary's and he is suddenly pristine again.

Just one more reason he is a contemptible piece of fucking shit.

I will tell you this now, there is no way on earth, other than the Supreme Court assfucking us again, that this man is EVER going to be the President.

Go read the rest of this fucking womans contemptible opinion piece.

After you get done seething at the blatant assholery, you will realize that fact and turn around, pull your britches down and tell her to kiss your ass like I did.

I am still seething that I actually saw this in my local paper but they regularly have that asshole Sowell, and other known Right wing shit disturbers on their editorial page.

I do get to snicker at the dumb fucking bastards though, they spent 13 million dollars having a new building built and had to sell it and move back to their old bunker after two years.

Fuck you, assholes.

Karma is a bitch and so is this idiot Kathleen Parker.

What's That, Ya Say?

I went and had a hearing test done today after work, part of the process of being hired permanently after my 90 day double secret probation is over, hope hope.

It came out just like I thought it would.

I told the nice lady I was deaf in one ear and can't hear out of the other.

I was close.

Turns out I do have some issues, she was quite concerned.
I told ya, nice lady. Cute too.

It seems I really don't hear so good out the right side but the left is considerably worse.

She told me if and when I get medical to go see a doctor.

Like that is going to happen anytime soon.

She asked me if that when someone is talking to me and their is background noise if it sounded like they were mumbling.

Bingo, hit that right on the head.

It's especially bad at work because their is tons of background noise and I have to wear ear plugs to boot.

I can't hear shit when people talk to me.

This has been an ongoing problem for me for several years and I have to admit, I do a lot of lip reading.

I just have to lean in and tell them to speak up.

That and saying "What" to the point it is embarassing.

I'm pretty sure it isn't going to affect my employment though, it is mainly a benchmark to compare with later.

They seem to like me pretty good, I had coveralls ordered the second week I was there and another guy had been there four months and hadn't.
Pissed him off.

Now, he has been there five months and he has seen the sheet with his name on it for the same hearing test on the bosses desk for a week and they haven't given it to him yet.

I'm liking my odds here.

I have never missed a day or been late, thank the good lord.

I came close this morning.
I went out to get in The Beast and it was iced up good.
Being an old Ford truck, it has a heater core the size of a postage stamp and those old bastards were notorious for being cold blooded.
I finally dug in my ass pocket and dug out my debit card to scrape the windshield with.
Then I had to stop for gas (a whopping nine MPG) and watch for ice to get there.

It finally started defrosting the windshield after about four miles and never did really get warm.

That was my day, how was yours?

Dear Google

Fuck you very much for forcing me to use your updated Gmail, seriously.

I had been exing out of your little suggestions for weeks now for a fucking reason.

I didn't want to upgrade because what I had already worked just fine.

Now, I had no fucking choice, I couldn't get to my email because you decided I needed to suck your fucking dick and choke on it too.

Fuuuuuuuuuck you, assholes.
As a certified mechanic, I want you to listen closely,

If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

What Gordon Said

If ya been around here for any length of time, you will know that I have several internet buddies.

Several as in many.

There are some damn decent folks out there who pay attention to the shit we get fed on a regular basis.

The joint I go to first every Day when I can is my buds at Alternate Brain.

They are all over the latest news and I agree with their assessment of said news, especially the news of a political nature.

I do believe my pal Gord just knocked one out of the park and into a windshield.
Good on ya bud.

I would love to see Nancy Pelosi yank up her skirt, show everyone her balls and throw that dirty motherfucker Newt Gingrich under a convoy of busses.

I ain't overly enamored of Pelosi but seeing her drop a depth charge in the middle of Newt's lying ass would give me a serious chubby.

Dancin' Fool For Zappadan!

Have a listen to some classic Zappa.

Best heard with decent headphones, there are some nice percussion moments.

Prescient, I Am

And a hearty Fuck You to this guy;

Ending days of intense speculation, Republican presidential candidate Herman Cain announced Saturday that he will suspend his unlikely campaign, citing the toll that weeks of sexual-harassment and adultery allegations have taken on his family.

Damn, I just had pizza tonight, what a coincidence.

Bye Bye motherfucker.

So, that still leaves several crazy incompetent stupid people in the race to be our Supreme Commander.

Pepto Bismal anyone?

Finally

Three days.
That's how long it took Quest to fix their internet connection.

I figure somebody did the old Backhoe through the cable trick.

In other internet news, those dirty cocksucking mother fucking no good sonsabitches at Verizon struck again.

I swear and I do swear, someone is testing my limits.

After all the bullshit I have put up with those fuckers,after expressly asking them if there were ANY MORE FUCKING CHARGES, I paid those sonsabitches off and told them to go fuck themselves, but no.

No, they had to break one off in my ass as a parting gift.

I got a bill in the mail for 18.99 for two fucking days in their billing period after calling them, paying them and NOT USING their fucking service.

Pissed off?

Oh fuck yes I was pissed off.

Why am I paying for something I didn't use?

I argued with some young lady until I was blue in the face and my wife was telling me to just pay them so we wouldn't have it sent to a collection agency.

I am still livid with those motherfuckers but I finally gave them their blood money and told that girl I wanted a certified letter from those motherfuckers that there would be no further contact.
No letters, no texts, no phone calls, nothing.

Of course, as soon as I hung up, I got a text message thanking me for my payment.
Head, desk, repeat until dizzy.

I never want to hear a god damn thing from Verizon again.

That's when Quest decided to take a shit....

Thank you sir, may I have another...

Christ almighty.

Where Have I Seen This Shit Before?

Let's see, President Stupie McFuckwit?

Just so ya know, even with Obama in office for three years now, the Federal government is still chock full of their appointtees.

Vice President Darth Cheney went way out of his way to stuff his little acolytes into every fucking layer of government position he could, then went back through and transferred them into permanent positions right before they got tossed out on their asses.

True fact, look it up.


Now, we have Stupie Junior, that stupid fucking bastard Rick fucking Perry,is threatening to reassign civil workers who do not share his ideas of governing to
"some really God-awful place" if they didn't go along with his ideas, like turning over the Medicaid program to the states".

My emphasis.

At this point so early in this political cycle, he needs a swift kick in the nuts.

At least Stupie and Darth went stealth and did in secret after they stole the election, this fucking idiot is saying it out loud, before he even has a half assed chance of winning any kind of election in the first place,

A snippet from our good friends at Crooks and Liars, who are all over this dickhead,
They have quite the write up with bonus video.

"Having men and women who share my philosophy, and then giving that clear instruction to those agencies, and if the bureaucrats in those agencies try to block -- for Health and Human Services is a great example," he continued. "If you have Health and Human Service bureaucrats that try to block our being able to block grant dollars back to the states so you all can decide how best to handle health care in New Hampshire -- I don't think you can fire federal bureaucrats, but you can reassign them -- so reassign them to some really God-awful place."

Really, he said that.

If you had any doubts about this fucking bastard, go read that again.

I can't say it enough,
FUCK RICK PERRY!

This guy is dangerous stupid.

He want's to completely disrupt how our government works by displacing people with years of experience doing jobs they actually know how to do by just sending them to places like a virtual Siberia, just because they do not agree with his completely fucked up Republican Conservative ideas of just how he can break another one off in our asses if he miraculously manages to get elected.

It's hard for me to take these fucking idiots seriously but apparently there are some seriously brain dead motherfuckers out there who don't have to worry about voter suppression or those fucking cocksuckers at Diebold.

I swore I wasn't going to vote this next election because I am still so fucking pissed off at those spineless sonsabitch Democrats but this is just a wee bit over the top.

I can't wait for the next year of these fuckheads and their wild assed ideas of how to fuck this country up even more.

Holy Christ, it's Zappadan Already!

Thank you Blue Gal for reminding me.

That guy was fucking brilliant and it is our loss that he had to go home and jam with a bunch of rock and rollers who also had to leave early.

There is no tunes here, he is going head to head with a bunch of Conservative closet cases and just destroys them.

God rest your soul sir, quite the example you left.

These idiots are trying to drag incest into their arguments to censor records way back then and he stomps a mud hole in their asses.
Then they try and associate Freedom of speech for rock lyrics with the Nazi extermination of the Jewish people.
If you have never seen this, get a beer and sit down and start cheering this man.

Pay attention to this because these fucking bastards pulled out all the stops and Frank broke one off in their asses, single handedly.

This is over twenty years old and this is how long these repressed cocksuckers have been trying to stuff their ideology in our faces on television,hell, all the air waves. You think Rupert Murdoch and Rush Limbaugh, Glen Beck and some other serious poisonous television personalities are a recent invention, I think maybe you either are under forty or have paid good money for that short term memory loss ya got going there.

Try driving across America with nothing but an AM radio some time.

These fucking bastards have been at this bullying shit for generations now and that is why it is so important to remind everyone of that fact.

It is also important to remember our champions before us who went out alone and humiliated them on their own forum.


Oh, Fuck you Tipper Gore, bitch.

I remember this shit





Oh, really, I wish we had ten thousand more guy's like him today.

Some Advice For Herman Cain

Hang it up dude, get Bill Clinton's home phone number and book a flight to Spring Break and be done with it.

Jesus.

Dude, really?
After four women claimed you had sexually harassed them and now another one comes forward claiming a THIRTEEN YEAR LONG AFFAIR,
pull that fork out of your ass, yer done.

I could really give a shit but you have had to have known any skeletons in your closet were going to see the light of day the minute you declared.

Oh, and fuck you Newt, this same shit is coming your way and I can't fucking wait.

While I am at it, Fuck you too Joe Lieberman, you spineless nut licker.

You at least see the writing on the wall, goodbye asshole,
It's been a very long six years but you are all fucking done now you back stabbing fucking prick.

One Punch And A Good Dicking

A twofer.

This motherfucker makes me want to puke after the first word that comes out of his mouth.

His "wife" and I say that in quotes for a reason after you hear and see this motherfucker, looks like a MILF show

waiting to happen.



Of course, The show I was watching just happened and will not be immediately available so have some vintage snake oil and some little liver pills from this oily fuck;


If she is doing that weasel, it is by the hour.

Dammit, I hate TV and here it is, C fucking NN.
And this puke is being interviewed.

My god, it is Stupie McFuckwit on steroids.

Gag me with a fucking Bulldozer.


Sanctimonious phony cocksucker, he makes millions!

Get in your back pocket, I will bet you money that the GOP is vetting this slimy fucking bastard for a major political position, they are like pedophiles grooming their next victim and have banners all around town bragging about it.

Nightmares

I was having some again so I got up.

Nasty fucking ones, killing and cutting and shooting people trying to protect my family.

Snarling packs of dogs trying to trap me on the porch of some place on a hill.

Then some guys showed up on the porch who obviously owned the dogs but I have no idea why they were there except I knew they were some evil bastards with malintent
I cut the throat of one of their dogs right in front of them and bolted behind the front door.

Double dead bolt doors, one behind another.

Desperately looking for a shot gun.

Somehow I found one and at the same time one of the evil doers got through the doors and I blew a hole in him you could drive a truck through.
That's when I woke up.


I'm going to finish my smoke and try to go back to sleep here in a minute, hopefully that shit will stop.

Apparently that Steven King guy has nothing compared to my subconscience.

Get Out Of My Way, I Need Some More Cheap Shit Right Now

Really?

I went to the likker store and retreated to the garage for an hour or two.

looks like I am lucky to get home unscathed....

what seems to be a burgeoning Black Friday tradition, reports of violence erupted throughout the country.

Authorities in Los Angeles say that 20 people suffered minor injuries at a local Walmart when a woman used pepper spray on them to get to the front of the line when the store opened Thursday evening.

Police in Fayetteville, N.C. are hunting for two suspects after gunfire went off early Friday in the Cross Creek Mall.

At a Walmart in upstate New York, a man was arrested after two women were injured in a fight that broke out.




The one thing I can say is that stupid bitch spraying people to get more shit to carry out is damn lucky someone didn't knock her clear the fuck out and then get trampled to death.

And people wonder why I hate this time of year.

Fuck that shit.

Gift cards, go get what the hell you want, after the crazy people are either in jail or fighting to get to the return desk.

We are surrounded by complete fucking idiots.

Expect more on this subject, the wife loves this time of year and I despise it.

Despise being a mild term for what I think about this complete fucking insanity.

If Bah, Humbug just went through your mind, have a fucking cookie.

I do, however, always donate to the bell ringers.

Happy Thanksgiving

It's been a tough year with some really special moments.
I married a beautiful woman who I think may be brain damaged, she loves me and takes good care of my narrow ass.

I was fortunate enough to give a little to someone else this year and I would like to thank those who did that for me when I really needed it, you have no idea what that did for me and what it did for me when I really needed it.

I have had several personal friends and relatives who have given me moments that damn near brought me to tears also, you know who you are.

Thank you so much.


There are quite a few folks out there on the ragged edge who are smart, articulate and are doing their damndest just to keep a roof over their heads and have something to eat maybe once a day.
That is just fucked up.
The best thing I can say is that we show the best of our humanity and give when it hurts and give what we can, even when it does hurt.

Take a bow folks.

The shit storm of Christmas is already here and it is going to be ugly.

So be it. It is what it is.

Happy Thanksgiving and thank you so much for stopping by.

Really? Break One Off In Their Asses

Did someone find his balls out in traffic?

President Barack Obama says he will veto any effort to get rid of automatic spending cuts that would take effect in 2013 if Congress can't find other ways of trimming government deficits. [...]

Obama issued his threat Monday an hour after leaders of Congress' deficit-reduction super committee announced that they had failed to reach agreement on cutting the debt. The inability of the committee to meet its deadline means the government is facing about $1.2 trillion in automatic cuts in January 2013.

Obama said the threat of those reductions should remain in place to maintain pressure on Congress find a compromise.

I fucking dare ya dude.

Give me a REAL Christmas.

Super Fail

What a fucking surprise, the Super Committee just choked on some caviar and can't come to agreement to cut 1.2 Trillion dollars off the budget over the next ten years.

This thing was doomed from the get go and anyone who didn't see this coming ain't paying attention to what has been passing for politics in this country the last twenty fucking years.
No new taxes.
That's all I heard since the day this fucking abortion called a committee was formed.

I knew exactly what was going to play out and am actually glad.

Now that the retarded four year olds in the Republican party have stamped their little feets and took their ball and went home, the real shit is going to hit the fan and you mark my fucking words, if you think you have seen back room deals in your life, they just opened the flood gates for that shit.

The war mongering fuckers who have been the benefactors of lobbying largess just shit their pants.

Automatic defense budget cuts are now the order of the day.

Unenjoyment extensions will cease and payroll taxes for those of us fortunate enough to have a fucking job in the first place will go up 50 fucking percent.

Oh yeah baby, the real shit is coming down the pipe and these recalcitrant cocksuckers on the right are going to be scrambling to make some shady fucking deals by hiding shit in new legislation, which is their favorite fucking trick to begin with.
The pressure is on now, you sonsabitches and I hope every political blogger in the country starts keeping an electronic bullhorn next to their keyboard when these scum sucking egalitarian motherfuckers start trying to pull their bullshit moves in the middle of the night again, I know damn good and well what their tactics are.

Oh and by the way, Fuck You Grover Norquist.

This is the right wing political hack who seems to have some serious dirt on these assholes.
They all signed some damned pledge not to raise taxes under any circumstances that he came up with.

This the rotten bastard who's most famous line was that he wanted to shrink the government until he could drown it in a bathtub.

If I was you pal, I would make sure you only bathe often enough to keep people from throwing cans of deoderant at ya and only in stand up showers at that in those oh, so famous, bath houses we have all heard about.

Fucking prick.

Either way, they got what they wanted, economic mayhem, that is their primary job it seems.

Who in their right minds would think there is such a thing as a Super Congress anyway?

Congress has an approval rating in the single digits, worse than people's feelings about their ex spouse.

So yeah, let's make up a Frankenstein Congress, for real.

Abby something, as I recall.

Nothing

Zero.
You wouldn't want to hear it anyway.