Pretty Soon, My Buddy Gord Is Going To Kill My Ass.

God Bless him,he finds the funniest shit.

I can't begin to count how many gallons of beer that have been through my sinuses over the years.

Here we go again, he found another funny...

The money quote from Kim Jong UN, the new supreme leader of North Korea in a letter to us, the morons wandering the streets looking for a New Messiah.

Here is why I am writing to you today: on Tuesday, you will go to your caucuses and choose from among a field of Republican presidential candidates. And let me tell you, the idea of any of these people getting nuclear weapons scares the shit out of me.

Oh fuck me, go read the whole thing while I find another towel and the Windex.

Damn you Gord, I just got this new laptop for Christmas and here ya are,breaking it in right for me..
Happy New Year.

Put any liquids out of reach

I damn near laughed until I puked.

Funny? You fucking betcha.

Off the charts funny.
Seriously.

H/T to that wicked  sick sense of humor my friend Suzanne has.
You are a jewel honey.

Bonus, she got it from her mom! I need to meet this lady!

Smooch.

Comedy Gold

This runs around in my mind once in a while and here it is.

That fucking weasel cracks my ass up.



Oh shit, Nasty Girl reminded me of the little Chicken Hawk...

More funny shit.
Here you thought these were for little kids.




Thanks to my friend Suzanne for keeping me young.
She pulls these things out of her hat all the time at Late Late Night at Firedoglake after ten PM..

That Blows

Poor little buggers, I laughed so hard I almost choked.



It's like, Dude! WTF just hit us?

Merry Fucking Christmas

This showed up on my Stat counter, again.
It is such a fucking classic, I decided to play it again.

To this day, I still wonder if I am not related to this motherfucker.

Enjoy.

Every time I hear this  I laugh so fucking hard I get tears in my eyes.

The Shit You See On The Internet

Holy crap, I think I just coughed up a lung.

These are comments to a guy's post about refucking some bitch who tried to fuck him over on some sporting event tickets he was selling on Ebay.
I will leave a link to that at the botom but these comments cracked my fucking ass up.

The names have been removed to keep their identity private.

"Once I bought a car part on ebay that was advertised as new. Turned out it was old and rusted so I arranged with the guy to return it and he promised a full refund. I sent the part back but he wouldn't give me my money back. I googled his name and city and got the phone number for his mom. I told her the story and she was so mad- she promised me she would make sure I got my money back. He called me back a few hours later and called me every name in the book- "how dare you call my mom... you f'ing f'er..." I was pretty scared and glad we didn't live in the same state. But I got all my money back. Mothers are great"

"You told his mommy...awesome!"

"Next time you need a car part, avoid the middleman - order from his mom directly."

I was already laughing my ass off but that was the topper.

Here is the original story and I for one was glad to see some scamming bitch get what she had coming to her.

Something doesn't add up but the comments were worth it.

NSFW, Kids, Wives, Girlfriends Or Any One Else

This is so fucking funny I blew beer out of my nose.

I am warning you, turn down the volume, get yer fucking kids out of the room and tell yer lady friends to go wrap presents or something. My GF just loooooooves Christmas, the whole fucking shebang. Decorations out the ass, the fucking cookies, tinsel, the whole fucking thing.
Christmas to me is a logistical nightmare.
Just today, after we spent an hour last night, trying to figure out where we need to go and what time, I get an Email telling me they got the date wrong for the family Christmas party.

Are you fucking kidding me?

You have had an entire fucking year to get this shit straight.
Oh, Hell. No.

Jesus fucking Christ and Happy Birthday Dude.

Last fucking chance.
Oh my goodness, here we go, take it away Santa.



Yeah, now we're talking holiday spirit, motherfuckers.

Thank you Jimbo, ya owe me a fuckin' beer now.

Fuck You, Jimmy Dean

I am still laughing so hard I have tears running down my face.
"Six hundred pounds of men"., over a fucking roll of sausage.
Comedy gold.

I Don't Know What Is Funnier

The bird or the fucking song.
"Whip Your Hair"?

That is some bad assed shit there honey.
The bird seems to like it though.



Once again, H/T Lolcats.

You would think I would spend more time looking at T&A but you would be wrong, today.

Funny Stuff

I worked my little butt off today, I still have plans to disappear here shortly.
I came in the house at nine o'clock, checked my email and found this from a friend of mine.Y'all know about American idol, even though I don't have a TV, I do.
The bastards killed emebedding but I can tell ya, you will laugh out loud when ya see this.
Think American Idol mixed with River Dance.

Beeeer, Beeer, Pleeeeeease?

That is so totally like what the little dude is saying to me.
Must be the dry cat food.

I laughed my ass off when I saw this.



Looks to me like he got some there at the end.

H/T DekoniM @ You tube via Lol Cats.

There's stupid and then there's Somali Pirate stupid

BUWAHAHAHAHA! They attacked the USS Nicholas FFG-47 with a skiff?

Oliver Hazard Perry-class guided missile frigates are armed with a 76mm water cooled gun capable of firing 120 rounds per minute, not to mention all the other armament they sport.

And they attacked it in a small sea-going fishing boat with some AK-47s and RPGs. BUWAHAHAHAHA!

From the article: "It was not the first attack against a Navy ship, but it underscored the fact that most pirates aren't terribly sophisticated".

I'm not often truly entertained by the news but as an ex-member of Uncle Sam's Canoe Club I just can't stop laughing at this shit.

spongeBUWAHAHAHAHAcrackwhore

LMAO!

I fucking LOVE Lolcats.

This one cracked me up!

I'm sorry but this is some funny shit right here...

Your WTF moment of the day, courtesy of consumerist.com...

For some reason, this Tinkerbell keychain from yesterday's Recall Roundup caught people's attention and they keep pointing it out to us. Please stop.

spongebobcrackwhore

Get Some Balls Democrats

I've seen this around a couple of different places, it's funny but it does deliver the message quite cleverly.
The same message I have been screaming into the void for years now.

Get some fucking balls you pussy motherfuckers.

I Can Haz Second Amendment?

H/T Lol Cats.

This Is Just Too Damn Funny

Care to make a bet I disregarded all of these?
This lady is the shit, I go visit her every damn day.
Please go say Hi to Earth Bound and tell her Busted sent ya.
Be nice dammit.

Spew Alert

I'm serious, beer squirted out of my nose when I saw this;




I am still shaking my head in amazement.











H/T FailBlog.

Standoff At The OK Shithole

Ya never seen anything like this, I sure as fuck haven't.


There are three fucking cats here at Chez Parents now.
The little fuckers have been sorting out the pecking order since I tossed them together and boy howdy, it has been hilarious.

I generally flop my ass down and start in to relaxing after a long day and every once in while , there will be a vociferous exchange between a random set of felines as they pass each other in the hallway.
Git er Done, Figure It Out, STFU.
I will clean up the mess tomorrow and I am trying to watch the fucking news here, ya fucking varmints!

I have noticed a kind of twisted end result of this, when I am sitting on the terlet, I get a fucking parade of cats every morning, with a inevitable cat fight right around the corner.
One, two, three. they come in to say hello and demand a bit of petting and I am like, WTF?

I even have one that comes in to say Hi and then goes and jumps in the cat box, right after the little fucker makes sure I am paying attention.
Good kitty, ya little fucker, now I have to change the cat litter again.
Let me tell ya, that shit gags me, every time.
It's amazing, a three to one difference of what they eat and how much they shit!

I have quite a few more observations of some strange cat behaviors but I should save them for Caturday, 2014.

Belly Laugh Of The Day

I fucking lost it when I saw this just now.
Damn, that's funny.