Biologically Impossible Arizona Law

OK, now they have just ran full tilt off the cliff of crazy.

Arizona lawmakers gave final passage to three anti-abortion bills Tuesday afternoon, including one that declares pregnancies in the state begin two weeks before conception.

snip

My bold.

Um, excuse me, It is my belief there has to actually be coitus, ejaculation of sperm by the male, a fertilized egg available by the woman and one lucky sperm cell penetrating said egg cell for there to be a pregnancy.

Apparently some ignorant fucking idiot believes this happens before the slut even meets the horn dog and a date for dinner has been settled on.

There hasn't even been one complimentary drink been served.

My question is, how this supposed fucked up stupid, ignorant fucking law can declare a pregnancy TWO FUCKING WEEKS before any of these things happen?

Well step right up and behold the math skills of the Republican party;

The 18th week bill includes a new definition for when pregnancy begins. All of the bills passed the Senate and now head to Gov. Jan Brewer (R) for her signature or veto. Passage of the late-term abortion bill would give Arizona the earliest definition of late-term abortion in the country; most states use 20 weeks as a definition.

A sentence in the bill defines gestational age as "calculated from the first day of the last menstrual period of the pregnant woman," which would move the beginning of a pregnancy up two weeks prior to conception.

My bold yet again.



Get that?

I try to look down your blouse and you are automatically pregnant if we hook up TWO FUCKING WEEKS LATER.

These people are a danger to society, period. Tell me again how there is no Republican War On women.
Out of control societal trolls with what they deem as unlimited power to control women's bodies.
There should be recall petitions flying.

After all the extremest political positions that have come out of Jan Brewer's administration, this one is over the top.
Throw in Joe Arpaio and all the crazy illegal shit he has pulled and I vote we do what the neighboring countries did to Malia recently and close the fucking borders with that state. No fuel, no fresh vegetables, no electricity and no quail wings for those insane motherfucking Republicans.

Nobody in, nobody out.
Sorry for your luck touristy people but you just might be carrying some extremist ideas back out and that would make you a Domestic Terrorist.

Another Obituary I Am looking Forward To

Hard to believe this old woman is still around and that there is a single soul that wants to hear what she has to say, especially an all male school where she was the paid speaker.

"Don't Date Feminists"

– Phyllis Schlafly's advice to young men: Don't date feminists, even though "some of them are pretty." Speaking to an all-male student crowd at The Citadel college in South Carolina this week, the so-called "godmother of conservatism" also blamed feminists for drumming up the recent contraception flap in US politics, The Post and Courier reports. "Contraception is not controversial," said the 87-year-old. "The issue is not access. It’s who’s going to pay for it.”

Excuse me Granny, if you can't afford a fucking rubber, chances are your buddy will give you one.
Even better odds, the lady will have one herself, just in case you are a dumbass.

This old bitch has been flogging the "feminist" line since the 1960's.

Are you fucking kidding me? I'm getting old and was actually born in 1960, that is a lot of energy better spent on using contraceptives in my opinion. That one trick pony turned into kicking a dead horse a long fucking time ago too.


I find it extremely hard not to use my usual foul language here.
The words are right there on the tip of my tongue and they are the foulest ones in my repetouire.

Let me start with the fact that an 87 year old ,extremely conservative woman is giving a nice little chat about birth control to an all male graduating class.
Excuse me while I gag until my eyes bleed.

Come on Grandma, get the fuck out.

What I want to know is who is the aspirin between the knees little prude who thought this was necessary.

Really?
An 87 year old shrunken up old hag talking about birth control? Wait, it's about those dangerous fucking feminists that are damn near as old as she is.

Mission accomplished when you walked out on the stage, every swinging dick around just went turtle.

RUN FOR YOUR LIVES BOYS!!

You thought Cougars were out to rob you of your virile bodily fluids?
It's those hairy armpit nut busting feminists you need to worry about.
They are apparently too cheap to worry about contraceptives.
At least a decent Cougar would make sure you had breakfast before she patted you on the ass on your way out the door.


Phyllis Schlafly has been a dirty ----( can't understand normal thinking) for a long time and I would personally like to ----(beer in, beer out) in her mouth. No seminal fluids involved.
For the life of me, I cannot believe some fucking idiot thought it would be a good idea for her to talk about birth control to a sea of testosterone drenched young men.

Gag.

Hurry up and die you old bitch and make my fucking day.

Yesterday would be too late.

The Definition Of A Complete Dumb Fuck

Some body needs a good clubbing with a large piece of anchor chain.

The marine mechanic was reportedly working on an anchor aboard the 52ft Nilaya in Auckland harbour, when the yacht hurriedly cast off as immigration officials tried to serve deportation papers on the skipper, Jarle Andhoy, 34.

Mr Andhoy and three crew members have embarked on an unpermitted voyage to Antarctica's Ross Sea, in defiance of both the Norwegian and New Zealand governments.

A previous trip he made to Antarctica almost a year ago ended in disaster when his yacht Berserk sank in a fierce storm and three men died.

It gets better too,

Mr Andhoy told the Norwegian public broadcasting service NRK that the presence on board of the unnamed New Zealander was not part of his plan, but was the result of "a hectic departure" from Auckland last week.

snip

The best part,

The broadcaster reported him as saying that the Nilaya was not carrying a locator beacon so it would not put rescue services at risk.

Where to start with this story.

Let me begin with the fact that a fifty two foot boat is a child's toy when you are talking about where this fucking clown is talking about going.
Fer fucks sake, really?

You couldn't put enough provisions on a little fucking boat like that to last a month, I have been on one.
Another little fact, where they are headed sees some of the worst weather and ocean conditions you can imagine.

Three days out on a fifty one foot fishing boat had us in swells that dwarfed the cockpit and we were riding up and down waves so steep the prop was coming out of the water and running the engine up against its' red line.
Thankfully it was a little diesel so it had  a governor to keep it from blowing up.
Two days of that, tacking diagonally across the back of the waves to  get back to port and this guy is headed directly into that.

This guy is a fucking idiot.

A proven fucking idiot.
Let me repeat,

A previous trip he made to Antarctica almost a year ago ended in disaster when his yacht Berserk sank in a fierce storm and three men died.

Personally, I would be desperately looking for a flare gun and listening for chopper blades.
That and a cast iron skillet to smack that fucking moron in the head with.

When it comes to life and death and you have a complete fucking idiot in charge, mutiny is the order of the day.

Aye matey.

Why I Awlays Hated Chevy's

Stupid sonsabitches ran all the hot wires to the whole car from the starter solenoid.
Like you can slide under a 1980 El Camino in a parking lot.

All because of some fucking vacuum cleaner belts that my mom ordered on line over a month ago, called about last week and never fucking showed up.

I crawled under that fucker with a pocket knife and finally got it to turn over untill my face turned blue.
Unfortunately for me, who ever the crankster gangster who had it before me, when "It" put another motor in it, had no idea that the fucking wiring went right by the exhaust manifoold and all those purty fucking wires done turned into burnt spaghetti..
I completely forgot about this issue and I jumped into the fucker afyer a month and it fired right up.
Two miles away, right in front of the Vacuum cleaner joint and three brand new belts that my Mom ordered a month ago and the fucker wouldn't start.

Laying under that bitch and can't get my head under it, I finally jumped across the starter solenoid and flat out ruined a nice little pocket knife, with the key on.
Crank over until the knife gets too hot to hold onto and nothing happens.

The Lovely wife did not know I took the POS and I was damned if I was going to call her about it, she couldn't do a fucking thing anyway.
I called my buddy, had to piss like a ruptured goat and ran to a restaraunt nearby.
They advertised a Happy Hour and when I asked for a beer, the pretty young thing tells me they don't sell any kind of alcohol.

How do you advertise Happy Hour with Coke, Pepsi and  power aide?



Fuck that, ran across the street, had a quick 7and7 and walked out to see my alternate friend go around the corner.
Pushed the fucking Chevy back, hooked up the tow line and off we went.
Got halfway home and while I was in neutral, hit the key and it fired right up.
Had him pull over, got out, unhooked the bastard and got within a half mile of the house when I went around a corner and  bleh, dead again.

Hooked the fucker up again, had him finish dragging my ass home, introduced him to the wife and here we are.
She isn't exactly thrilled, she does have the new belts and my ugly Chevy is siting out in the street.
The neighbors are already beyond themselves with joy that I start my 67 Ford 3/4 quarter ton 4X4 up  at six thirty that wakes their dead ancestors up every  morning. Did I mention that I am living at my parents house and there is a long line of snooty mother fuckers around here?

Heh, life is good.

Thanks fer stopping by.

Damn, I Just Wore Out A Brand New Tinfoil Hat.

My internet friend, Just An Earthbound Misfit, I, wandered upon an interesting test.
See how many pictures of Cops and Military personnel you can tell the difference between, 21 times.
It is quite telling about what has been the militarisation of our police forces over the past thirty years and amazingly enough, even though I have never been in the military, I not only bested her score,(Navy) 16 out 21, I beat my other pal Gordon,( Marines)14 out of 21 and was beat by Fixer (Air Force)18 out of 21, by one.

Like I said, my tinfoil hat is screwed on a little tight but it seems maybe that ain't such a bad thing after all.

Go ahead, try it yourself.

How Many Of These Things Do I Have To Go Through In One Week?

Jack Abramoff critiques OWS, Republicans’ media exposure in Yahoo News interview
Ya gotta read this to believe it, Jack Abramoff,prison time for corruption, says he wants to "advise" The OWS protesters.

Jesus H. Fucking Christ, the man has balls.

I wouldn't trust that rotten fucker to help my Grandmother across the street without a gun to his head.

Prior to his 2006 guilty plea for conspiracy, mail fraud and tax evasion in schemes that brought down lawmakers, lobbyists and Hill staffers, Abramoff hobnobbed with the most elite Washingtonians.
snip

That's right,
The former felon, who served three and a half years in prison for corruption, including bribing public officials, is promoting a new book, Capitol Punishment: The Hard Truth About Corruption From America's Most Notorious Lobbyist, which offers an autobiographical account of his rise and fall while also presenting a prescription for cleaning up Washington.

snip

Go read the whole thing and if you have the stomach, watch the video.

All I have to say to him is that he can go fuck himself.

Pretty Soon, My Buddy Gord Is Going To Kill My Ass.

God Bless him,he finds the funniest shit.

I can't begin to count how many gallons of beer that have been through my sinuses over the years.

Here we go again, he found another funny...

The money quote from Kim Jong UN, the new supreme leader of North Korea in a letter to us, the morons wandering the streets looking for a New Messiah.

Here is why I am writing to you today: on Tuesday, you will go to your caucuses and choose from among a field of Republican presidential candidates. And let me tell you, the idea of any of these people getting nuclear weapons scares the shit out of me.

Oh fuck me, go read the whole thing while I find another towel and the Windex.

Damn you Gord, I just got this new laptop for Christmas and here ya are,breaking it in right for me..
Happy New Year.

TSA and VIPR

First off, watch this video and let me say that these pussy motherfuckers do not belong in my country.




Then read this fucking horseshit;

BROWNSVILLE - Random car and truck inspections are wrapping up at the Port of Brownsville.

The Transportation Security Administration hit the streets checking for any potential threats to the port. It's called Operation Viper.

A spokesperson says TSA is checking all private and commercial vehicles coming in and out of the port. They’re doing thorough inspections and using K9s.

We're told this is a random operation and not in response to any specific threat.

My emphasis,

Link here.

Excuse the fuck out of me?

How many times do we have to lament the demise of our Fourth Amendment rights?
That many.

An illegal search, an illegal detention and an illegal road block to do it, all funded by us with money funneled to the TSA.

Fuck that, fuck them and fuck the motherfuckers who think they can just get away with this shit.

It isn't just planes trains, ferries , subways and big trucks, which they oh, so politely begged to differ when we told them it was illegal, now it is your fucking car.
Coming out of a port.

How would anyone even remotely involved in terrorism get near a port?
They don't have an answer.

I can fucking tell you.

You can't even get NEAR a port without passing several security check points, and a FEDERAL IDENTIFICATION CARD.

Neither in, nor out.

It is a huge power grab on their part and they can lick my fucking balls if they think I am, for one fucking second, " going to take their word for it".

Can you say "POLICE STATE"?

15 minutes of Fame and a broken nose is coming

This fucking asshole is courting danger.
Andy fucking Breitbart is lucky they didn't let him in.
I will give the fuckhead credit, he has some balls but I wouldn't give him a big chance of walking into a passel of Progressives again, uninvited and leave unharmed.

There are those of us who are not tree hugging pacifist fucking pussies.
Take my word for it.
Ya want to be a headline seeking attention whore, by all means, go for it.
Playing gotcha games the way he has been lately is going to have repercussions.

The guy is a fucking scumbag and is doing all he can to get himself some notoriety points.
Typical attention whore tactics.

Careful what you wish for asshole.
You just might get it.

Leave Us The Account Numbers

Because, ya know, ya can't take it with ya.
According to some, who need that special recipe for Kool aid that Jim Jones left behind, next Saturday is the Rapture.
For those non Christians, it is the day that Only God knows when, he will take into Heaven, his chosen few.
Something like a hundred and forty four thousand believers.
That leaves out  a few million Newt Gingrich's and sinners like me..
According to my very fucked up memory of the doings of the Catholic church, you can be forgiven for every mortal sin ever described by either going to confession or getting your last rights given to you you by a priest just before you die. They also aren't shy about twisting your arm for a few bucks.

Seeings how I wasn't Baptized until I was a ten year old, I am holding out for the last minute. I know damn good and well I am going to be broke anyway.
Twenty thousand Hail Mary's, really? I have been a very naughty boy. I haven't been to Confession in over forty years, something about the separation between church and state, I plead the fifth.
 Just fer shits and grins, I was actually an Altar Boy in a Catholic school/church, in the third and fourth grade.
You have heard stories about Catholic Girls, they were mostly chaste, except the ones who weren't. God love ya, ya little honies, it made it worth going to school. I fondly remember getting caught with another guy and six, almost chaste, little girls under the stage in the gym.
The beatings commenced for me and that guy, the girls had their own nightmares to deal with, those Nuns were some mean sonsabitches.

Any way, I hear such that we are about to be entertained by Newt Gingrich and his run for the Presidency. 

I hear he converted to Catholicism.
If there is even one of those Nuns still alive where I went to school at, I am going to do a fund drive to send her to find him and I will hand carve a stick for her to beat him with.

Torture Apologists Should Go Directly To Jail

They should have already been there for years.

That they aren't speaks volumes to me.


Assholes like John Yoo and Alberto Gonzalez who were directly responsible for wringing  the Constitution and The Geneva Conventions into wore out dish rags should be at the head of the line.

David Addington, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfield and Condoleeza Rice should be next.
One very special cell should be reserved for G.W.Bush, who is ultimately responsible for letting it happen in the first place, should be readied immediately.
Let us not forget Mr. Jose Rodriguez Jr, who was responsible for the destruction of the tapes made while the torture was happening, against orders by Congress to preserve them and also walked away scott free.

Jose Rodriguez Jr. was the leader of counterterrorism for the C.I.A. from 2002-2005 when Khalid Shaikh Mohammed and other Al Qaeda leaders were captured. He told Time magazine that the recent events show that President Obama should not have banned so-called enhanced interrogation techniques. (Mr. Rodriguez, you may remember, ordered the destruction of interrogation videos.)

I keep seeing these fiendish bastards in the headlines, defending the indefencible and trying to give credit to Bush for the death of Bin Ladin.
I remember what he said, and what he did back then.
Shit like "Bring It On", " Dead Or Alive", yadda yadda yadda.

Give me a fucking break, will ya?


Even The NYT slammed their positions.

No, these people are criminals and should not even been given the opportunity to continue spouting their lies in nationally syndicated news sources.
They should be having daylight pumped into their cells from a long ways away.

They have repeatedly been discredited and should have no say in what is being done to clean up the World Wide Catastrophe they left behind when they finally got their sick fucking presence thrown out of office and the full extend of that disaster started coming to light.

They should be shunned from the public discourse at the very least.

Dumber Than A Box Full Of Rusty Hammers

Jaysus Christ.
I just spent a half an hour talking to some stupid woman at Verizon trying to pay my outrageous bill.
I think I have actually been here at the Weasel Den a total of five fucking days since New Years.
That doesn't stop the fuckers from charging me though.
$125 bucks.
 Then she tries to upgrade me., No charge.
OK, I'm listening.

Faster access, better air card,more Gygabytes best of all, ten dollars a month cheaper.
You have my attention.

But no.
She dithered around , him hawed and couldn't figure out what the fuck she was talking about.
 Next thing I know, it's another twenty bucks.
OK, just fucking do it.
But, no. Can't do that.Please hold while I figure out how to fuck you, hold still.
Put's me on hold while she straightens her bra strap and goes for the kill shot.

How's about another hundred and fifty fucking bucks for the upgrade?

I gotta admit, I was polite when I told her how to insert said plan right back into her ass.

It's nine thirty in the morning, I have already had two shots of whiskey and a beer chaser but I ain't that fucking stupid. Fer Christ's sake lady!
Just take the payment and quit wasting the battery in my cell phone!

If I ever get my fucking tax rebate back, I am going to dump Verizon like the two bit whore they are, on a deserted street in the middle of the night, in the rain.

Fuck me running.

On top of all that aggravation, the cocksuckers would have extended my contract for another two years without telling me, as I found out the hard way when my air card died and I had to get off my sick bed to go get another one.

Rotten fucking bastards.

Verizon can suck my fucking dick.

Anyway, I am home for a short while, I have internet access and you can expect to see some more venom spewed from my keyboard soon.

Thanks fer stopping by.

Interesting

One thing that really sucks about living on the Left Coast is that a lot of shit in the business world has already happened while I am still dreaming of nubiles with large breasts.
That and Presidential elections that get called before our fucking polls are even closed. That one pisses me off.

So, to my utter amazement, I see my friend Jill reporting this morning that AOL has purchased The Huffington Post empire for three hundred and some fucking million dollars and put Arianna herself in charge of a bunch of shit.

I really like Jill's take on this, go read some Brilliant At Breakfast for her take.

As for me, I read Huffpo every day, looking for the latest news on what is going on. My bitch with them is they don't update the fucker often enough.

As for AOL, I can't believe they are still in business.

Way back in the day, when I finally got a computer that could connect to the internet, it was through AOL.

I had so many fucking dealings with their idiots in tech support, I finally got pissed off and wrote their phone number in permanent ink across the top of my monitor.True story.

Business As Usual

John Boehner To Give Keynote Address At Annual Insurance Lobbyists Summit


They don't even try to hide it anymore.
 

House Speaker John Boehner (R-Ohio) has been booked to deliver the keynote address at the annual conference of the Independent Insurance Agents & Brokers of America, a group that will hold powerful sway over lobbying efforts regarding health care and regulatory reform on Capitol Hill this year.

Like I said....

According to a press release from the IIABA:

Speaker Boehner will be a key note speaker at the legislative conference breakfast which occurs just prior to the association’s annual Big “I” Day on Capitol Hill. Every year more than a thousand agents and brokers visit Capitol Hill offices to lobby members of the House, Senate and their staffs on issues that directly impact independent agents and consumers.




“The Big ‘I’ is honored that during such a pivotal year, Speaker of the House John Boehner (R-Ohio) will be kicking off our annual agent pilgrimage to Capitol Hill,” says Robert A. Rusbuldt, Big “I” president and CEO. “We’re looking forward to hearing his insights on the implementation of the new health care law, tax and spending issues, financial services regulation and other important topics facing our members, their businesses and the American economy.”

"Speaker Boehner has been a longtime friend of our small business owners in his home state of Ohio and, as a former small business person himself, can provide an important perspective our members will appreciate," says Charles E. Symington, Jr., Big "I" senior vice president for government affairs. The Speaker's focused commitment to removing government barriers in order to create more jobs and economic growth go hand-in-hand with many of the Big 'I's' goals."

No word on whether he will be passing out checks on the floor of the House from lobbyists like he did with the Big tobacco racket years ago.

The IIABA has been a staunch opponent of President Obama's health reform law, and supports House Republicans' misguided attempt to repeal it. The group's PAC spent nearly $2 million in the 2010 election cycle alone, including a $10,000 donation to Boehner.

Emphasis mine.

Conflict of interest much?

Like I said, they don't even try to hide this shit anymore. Used to be it was done in smoke filled dark rooms where not every Tom, Dick And Alvin could see what was going on, now, it's a big middle finger and wink wink, in broad daylight.


Is it me, or isn't he supposed to be

on our side?

BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!

I just made a funny.

Fuck You Boehner.

Scumbag.

This is your new Speaker of the House folks, you asked for it, you got it.

H/T Huffpo

The Fuckery Begins

Motherfucking asshole sonsabitches.

The four Republicans appointed to the commission investigating the root causes of the financial crisis plan to bypass the bipartisan panel and release their own report Wednesday, according to people familiar with the commission's work.

Four fucking assholes.

This is what you wanted, this is what you get, bend over and ask for some more because it is coming.

Fuck me running.

Beware, The People Of WallMart Are Now All Spies

If, for some fucking reason, you still shop at Wallmart, I pity you. I have been in a few, only because I needed one specific item and they were the only thing open.
I can only describe it as being ankle deep in shit after you dived in head first.

Do you see these people?

 This is a small sampling of what you will typically see in one of these places.

Believe that shit? It's fucking true.
Do you want to know the best part?
Every one of these people has now been officially encouraged to call the Department of Homeland Security on yer ass if they think you are buying too much of one thing or another or think you look funny. That is no joke.

People like this literal shit stain have been encouraged by Janet Napolitano, head of DHS, to " Say Something If You See Something

So, if you go buy a couple bricks of .22 ammo and one of these fuckwits hasn't taken their medication that day, you could get a nasty surprise when you go to get in your car.

When are we as a people, going to quit wetting our pants every time we turn around? When is OUR FUCKING GOVERNMENT, going to quit wetting it's pants every time we turn around?

I, for one, have had quite enough of this over blown paranoia.
I have a better chance of getting hit by lightning than meeting Achmed riding his camel through the parking lot with a loaded AK47 and if I did meet Mr. Achmed, I would certainly want those bricks of .22 that I just tried to purchase at Wally World.

Get your fucking heads out of your asses and stand up for yourselves for Christ's fucking sakes and tell the government Nannies to go fuck themselves. This isn't Germany in 1932 and quit trying to make it that way.

I have better odds of getting mugged for my cell phone than being attacked by some fucking Jihadist and ya can't protect me from that, what makes you think you can protect me from Mr. Achmed?

Pull your head out of your ass and do something productive, like shipping hundreds of thousands of copies of   The Sound of Music to North Korea, postage due.

This Police State shit is getting old.

H/T to Mayberry for the heads up and H/T to Funny Pictures at Wall Mart for the pics.

BTW, when I put all those labels at the bottom? That's part of the commentary, I could give a shit about the labels for files thing.

Tomorrow

 Thanks fer stopping by.

Fuck me runnin', 200.000 hits.

Y'all are some crazy sonsabitches, you do know that, right?

There must be something wrong with ya for stopping by to see what a mad man has to say.

Kinda like a train wreck kind of thing I guess.

Either way, I am going to slam another shot of cheap assed whiskey and wish you all well.

Here's to ya, yer my kind of people.

I Hope They Made More Money Than I Did

If this is any indication how competent our government is, we are SO FUCKED.
No wonder the Repubs want to get their hands on our Social security, it would be too fucking easy. Billions of dollars that we now don't know who gets what, if we even live that long, but you are more concerned with what porno sites I am looking at?

Jesus fucking christ, what a bunch of fucking DUMB ASSED, STUPID SONSABITCHES!

Yeah baby, Bookmark this site I was just at, look at those cans!

Ohh baby, want to get on an air plane? Hold still or we will put you on a No Fly List as a Domestic terrorist.

Bring me that little boy.

You, with the big breasts, you need to come over here for some special lovin', I mean, "enhanced  body  security search", or what we used to call, give you a couple of bucks over a beer while you gyrated around a brass pole on a Saturday night, except there was this big dude in the corner who would wrench your shoulder out of it's socket as he threw your ass out on the curb if you dared to touch that lady.

Now they molest little kids in the name of "Security"

Keep your Social "Security" Number straight? You ARE, a Domestic terrorist for even suggesting we don't have our shit together.

I always marveled that my brother and I finally had to get a Social Security card at the same time. I believe I was twelve and he was nine.
 When we finally got them, back in the early seventies, his number was way the hell different than mine.
To this day, after all these years, I still have my original card.
Too bad, they won't accept it.

They wouldn't let you encase it in plastic then.

 I have lost my wallet a couple of times since then but I got lucky and got it back.

You can't read the top, bottom or sides. What used to be a rectangular card is now pretty much an oval.

You can still see most of my name and the number is still right there in the middle but I can bet they would not accept it any more.

I could be a Domestic Terrorist with a thirty eight year old Social Security card, still in my possession, from all those years ago.

Have a nice fucking day, bitches.

I don't need a fucking Birth Certificate, I have that. Not that I don't have a birth certificate, I could come up with that too.
I still have a wallet sized copy of my High School diploma, so does my GF., hers, not mine.

They were a popular way to dig ya for a few bucks more way back when.

Little did they know, we still have them.

I did lose my Class ring on a construction job thirty years ago and I ain't getting another one, who the fuck cares at this point?


So, we now have twenty million people in this country who have the same fucking Social Security numbers.  One in seven. They are worried about WIKI LEAKS?

Are You Fucking Kidding Me?

 Get yer fucking heads out of yer fucking asses and use all those god damn email and cell phone records you have been keeping, along with those Super Computers you keep bragging about and figure this shit out!

For fucks sake! I have better odds at hitting the mother fucking lottery!

It is readily apparent that our valued Federal employees have had no way to double check the paper work they have been submitting for the last forty fucking years.

Sign the papers and we will send you this cute little card you can call all your own.

I still have mine, I think I need to go see who else still has theirs. This could take a while.

All I can hope is that that yearly statement I get from SS hasn't been taking into account all my new found friends.

Stacking The Deck Against Us

Why this even begins to surprise me, I have no idea.

With all the problems that this country is currently facing, from two never ending wars, millions of people who have exhausted two years of unemployment, Congressional bickering over giving the richest 1% OF THE PEOPLE EVEN MORE MONEY, a lame duck Congress with three weeks to at least TRY and solve these problems, we have our good friend, Harry Reid, taking care of his real constituents.

     Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid has asked his staff to work on a bill that would legalize online poker. 

You got to be fucking kidding me.

Staffers for Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid are circulating a bill to legalize poker playing on the Internet that's backed by large casino interests.
The Nevada casino companies pushing the measure were among the Democrat's biggest donors during his fierce re-election fight. They argue the bill would provide consumer protection for poker players and would provide some tax revenue for federal and state governments.
On Wednesday, three Republican lawmakers sent a letter to Mr. Reid and Minority Leader Mitch McConnell (R., Ky.) opposing any efforts to pass Internet poker legislation during the lame-duck session.

Wait, it gets even better,

According to the draft of the bill reviewed by The Wall Street Journal, Mr. Reid's office is considering language that would allow only existing casinos, horse tracks and slot-machine makers to operate online poker websites for the first two years after the bill passes, which could limit the ability of other companies to enter the market.

The bill would also outsource oversight to state regulators, another move supported by existing casinos that don't want to see the federal government become overly involved in regulating their industry.

Ill give ya two guesses who these priveleged few would be.

Times up.
And I quote,

"Be assured that the casinos went all in for Reid."

That would be for his recent election against that loony tunes crazy woman Sharon Anglle.

So, to recap, Reid is pretty much telling us all to go fuck ourselves while he has his staff spending precious time drafting legislation to legalize On line Poker, to pay his casino buddies back for helping him retain office.

That's Democracy in action, ain't it?
The people first and all that horseshit Rah Rah crap.
What an asshole.

Jesus motherfucking christ, do I hate politicians, especially this wimpy cock sucker.

Fuck, Pelosi has bigger balls than this sycophantic, money grubbing, whore.

If he thinks for one fucking second that the Repubs are going to go along with this blatent bit of nut licking, he had better think again.
Personally, I think he should be using his and his staffers time a little more productively
LIKE FIXING OUR IMMEDIATE FUCKING PROBLEMS!

You Know You Have A Cat When.....

Ya wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom* and come back to realize there is an error message flashing on the monitor,
"Windows Mail Is Unable To Establish Contact As There Is Another Program Running Already"."

Half asleep, what do you do? "X" out of the fucker, again and again and again and again and again, until you look down at the bottom of the screen and see there are 375! motherfucking programs running at the same damn time!!

Little bitch has been sleeping on the keyboard again.

Can you say reboot?

Fucking cats.


* Yeah, go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, half asleep when your foot hits a soaking wet carpet.

While I was gone, I had my dad shut the water off because of the freezing weather, I didn't want something to burst while I was gone.

There were a few guy's here at the time and someone was nice enough to turn on a faucet to make sure there was no pressure left in the system.

After I got home and turned on the heat, I was bull shitting with a couple of neighbors outside and turned the water back on. We stood there and shot the shit in the cold for a minute or two before I said we need to go inside where it is warm.

That's when I heard a faucet blasting away at full pressure. I tracked it down, it was the bathroom faucet, with the plug in the sink.
There was an inch of fucking of water on the floor, pouring out into the kitchen off the step and of course, the sink was quite full.

I shut the faucet off and used every single towel I could to soak up the water.

So, of course, when I wake up in the middle of the night to take a piss, what do think happened? I stepped on a soaking assed , cold,wet carpet.

Yay.


Out goes the cat and now I have a space heater in front of the toilet, trying to dry the fucking carpet out.

That should only take three months.
It's great to be home again.

On the bright side, I don't need to shampoo that carpet I guess.

Oy, I'm going back to bed.


While I am still up, I would like to take a moment to thank a sweet lady that hit my donate button while I was gone. You know who you are and SMOOCH!,

What a sweetie.