Thursday, September 29, 2011

Damn I'm Tired

My first full day out in the production room.

Like I said in the last post, I have been having a hell of a time sleeping all night lately.
This morning I woke up at Oh dark fucking thirty again, 4:00 AM.

I was going to go back to sleep but the low battery warning on my cell phone started beeping and when it does that, I don't trust that little fucker as far as I can throw it.
Usually it will beep once and die.
Soooo, I laid there trying to stay awake, of course, I dozed off but my mind must have been aware of my anxiousness not to be late for a job that I just started Monday and that I am on double secret probation for the next six fucking months, so I woke the fuck back up and turned the lights on.
Fucked around on the computer trying to catch up with some of my favorite sites for a while and bailed out.

There is a reason I have left those butt munchers in D.C. alone for a while, I don't need the added aggravation right now, I have a lot on my plate as it is.

Got to work, this time only twenty minutes early instead of eleven fucking hours like yesterday, and started in.

Basically, now I am a Millwright.

It's still turning wrenches, you know, Lefty loosie, Righty tighty, but it is all on things I have never seen before so there is a steep learning curve.

Mostly, figuring out where the hell what I am supposed to be working on is because all of their machinery has a number and I have no fucking clue where that certain machine is yet and I just saw the insides of the place for the first time yesterday afternoon.

I had to take a test for confined space entry ( thank you, Demeur) and Lock out tag out protocol.

Wouldn't ya know it, first thing this morning I had to do a lock out tag out and go get an oxygen meter to go down where the machine was we were going to take out with an over head crane.

This place uses Argon gas like crazy and that shit is odorless, tasteless yet non toxic, but it is heavier than air and will collect like water in the under ground pits with grates over head.
It will fucking keeel you if it fills up the pit and displaces the oxygen and without this oxygen sensor with alarms, you won't have a clue of what is happening to you except you just feel real sick, right before you die.

Anyway's, this is getting long.
My feet are killing me from the new steel toe'd boots I have to wear and I am beat from lack of sleep.

Come to me my pretty little pint of whiskey, Daddy needs a good nights sleep.

Speaking of Daddy, today is my Dads Birthday.

I need to make a phone call.

Thanks fer stopping by.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

I Hate It When That Happens.

Fuck me, what a day.

I went to that new job yesterday, only to be led to a conference room and got sat down with four fucking 3 ring binders and twelve pages of shit to look up and study.

Unfortunately, the dude didn't quite make it really clear just what it was I was supposed to look up and he disappeared.

Being the quick reader I am, I read it all.

By the way, he says there will be a test on this.

After about an hour of reading all this crap this morning, again,, it got real fucking technical, as in rocket science shit.
Some guy finally comes in and tells me I am doing it wrong and these are the things I am supposed to be reading.


I spent all day today going over that and the rocket science part, which gave me eye strain and a huge brain fart.

Anyone out there know what the fuck 1.03times ten to the third power torr equals just how many microns of vacuum?

I sure as fuck don't have a clue.

I have worked with vacuum trucks but we always used inches of vacuum.

Then they got into about seventeen different kinds of thermo couples and just when and where they could be used and how often they had to be tested and replaced and just about then my fucking eyes glazed over.


Oh no, then they got into how they had to be tested and there are several different applications for these little fuckers depending on what they are wired into and how.

By now I had to go outside and have a smoke and figure out how I am going to bullshit my way out of this on the test.

I have no clue.

I kinda figured out the testing they are talking about and what it is for but fuuuuck me if I know what the fuck else they are talking about.

Two fucking days I have been going through this.

On another note, just for shits and grins, The Wife mentioned the other day how slow my new Net Book was.
She did some maintenance on it, right after I did because I had noticed it too.
Scan that sonofabitch until the cows come home and it says everything is fine.

My ass.
It up and fucking died yesterday to the point I can't even get it to start in Safe Mode.

Dirty sonsabitches that get their rocks off sending viruses, they need to be gutted like a fish.

Sure as shit, even the Windows 7 sir fixalot has no clue.

I ain't got time for that shit right now.

I tried getting this old bastard PC up and going and it gave me fits for an hour, just to find out the wireless mouse went tits up in the mean time.

Back in the truck down to Bi Mart to get a new one.
Brought it home and fucked with it for a half hour and by then I was completely whupped from the last three weeks and the stress of the new job.

Fuck it, out I went.

It was still daylight when I called it a day.

Ain't been sleeping for shit either, I keep waking up in the middle of the night and can't go back to sleep.

Ahhh, there I am, in Dream Land, all of a sudden I hear a fucking lawn mower!


I wake up pissed clear the fuck off and roll over and it is pretty dark.

I glanced at my watch, didn't have my glasses on and was instantly pissed.

Who the fuck is mowing their lawn at quarter after seven in the morning?

I jumped the fuck up and grabbed the 18 volt flashlight and headed out the door to chew some motherfucker a new asshole when a little light went off in my head....

Quarter after seven, in the morning?


Hoooly shit!
I ran back in the Weasel Den and threw my britches on and brushed my teeth, jumped in the fucking truck and hauled fucking ass.

Of course, the roads are all tore up around here and the speed limit is 45 for five miles.

I finally hit the freeway and stomped on it.

I came flying into the parking lot with the brakes trying to lock up, dove out of the truck half awake and ran up to the front doors.

They were locked.

I saw a side door open but you can't go in there without safety glasses or they will write yer ass up.

Back to the truck, dig out the tool bag, dump it on the seat and find my Stevie Wonder safety glasses and dive in.

I went straight to the conference room and, what a surprise, it was locked too.

I found some guys in the lunch room and told them I was late and needed to talk to so and so. They looked at me and said he wasn't there yet.

Now I am confused because it is quarter to eight and he starts at seven.

They get on the horn and page some other dude and after ten minutes I went and had them go to call him again because it is loud in there and he might not have heard the page.

Never mind , this guy says, we will just go find him.
Walk across the whole plant, meet the guy and tell him who I am looking for and he says, "He doesn't come in until seven".
I says, it's quarter to eight and I am late.
The guy looks at me and says, "in the morning".

The little light comes on in my head again.

I am eleven fucking hours early.

I fucking hate Fall.

Apparently that gave me enough time to come home and figure out the problem with the new mouse.

It's been a long , long, fucking day and I am going to fall down again.

Monday, September 26, 2011

The Stats Don't Lie

I can certainly tell I haven't been posting nearly as often as I used to when I see the stats for this last week, they are down by roughly half.

Hopefully I can get back into the groove here shortly now that I ain't on the road all the time.
Shit, I haven't even visited some of my favorite site myself in the last three weeks.

In the mean time, thanks to those who do stop by and I will see about getting back with the program here in a while.
I started that new job today, kinda.
I spent eight hours going through four 3 ring binders with protocals, business practices and safety procedures so I can take a test on stuff I have no idea what they are talking about.
Technical stuff I have never even heard of.

I have some confidence in myself though.
I saw some guys working there that tells me I have a pretty good chance.

Everyone I met today were all very nice and friendly, they would walk by and stop and introduce themselves and shake my hand.

That is very encouraging.

Wish me luck, I am already digging the ten minute commute, that shit is awesome.

Saturday, September 24, 2011

Friday, September 23, 2011

On The Road Again

Fuck me.

5:30 in the fucking morning and I am hitting the road, again.
I gotta be in Eugene Oregon at 7:30 but I have plenty of time, it's about an hour from where I am right now.
Then I get to do some running around and get back in the truck and drive back to Vancouver Washington just for the distinct pleasure of pissing into a little cup.

Fuck you, Ronnie Reagan. Asshole.

I don't even remember hauling all my shit down three floors and loading it into the truck last night.
I must have known I was going to get hammered and did it before I passed out.
Good for me because I certainly don't feel like doing it this morning, the coffee hasn't kicked in yet.
Damn, I am tired.
I have been working my ass off.

Oh well, it beats laying around on my dead ass I guess.

One more road trip, hopefully, before I start the new job.

I am going to be one busy little fucker here this month.
What I haven't told you what is coming up is that I am going to be moving at the end of next month also.
My folks are going to Arizona for six months instead of the usual three and they are going to by a house down there.
Me,Mrs, Ornery and the boys are going to live in their current domicile while they are gone and pay them some rent.

The guy next to me in the trailer park is going to buy the Weasel Den for what I paid for it and in the mean time, we are going to find a place to live after the folks get back.

I am going to be just a wee bit busy here shortly.
The wife lives an hour and a half away from the Weasel den so I am going to have to rent a truck, then, I am going to have to get rid of a bunch of shit I have collected over the years again, and haul all of my shit to my folks.
The one nice thing is that that is only ten minutes from there.

So, pray for me, I am going to be one busy little dude here shortly.

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

I Hate It When That Happens

Holy Fuck.

I was talking on the phone to some nice young lady trying to pay those over priced motherfuckers at Verizon when I took a swig off the jug and that sonofabitch went down the wrong pipe.

Coughing, choking, wheezing and talking like I had a rasp ran up and down my throat ensued.

Damn, ya haven't lived until ya've had 40 proof go down the wrong way.
It'll get yer attention real quick.

I finally got enough wind to finish the conversation, I think the poor dear was going to try and call 911 for me.

I finally convinced her I was good to go.

Damn, that was harsh.

I'm just glad my seven dollar fast food dinner didn't come up.

I hate that.

The Wife tells me on the phone tonight that I am in no uncertain terms that I am going to come see her this weekend, even if she has to come get me for a round trip of over a hundred and sixty miles.

My thoughts on this are mixed.

Should she leave her panties at home or wear them so I can rip them off with my teeth?

Personally, I vote for the latter.

Ya, Ya, I am a horn dog, I know, I was a dirty old man when I was ten fucking years old and now I have perfected it into an art form.

Just for shits and grins, I have been working at a college for the last two weeks and have seen HUNDREDS of hot little nubiles walk by En Mass in their short shorts and tank tops and have not only not been slapped yet but they haven't called the cops yet. I have had several little cuties smile at me.They know, and I know, there be no touchy but it sure as hell makes an old guy feel good to have a little cutie not run away screaming while dialing 911.....

Oh yeah, I know I am married now but I can still look and I can't wait to get back and be with the hottest one of all.

Those little cuties are fun to watch but My Baby has it going on like they won't ever understand.

OHHHHHHH yeah, My baby takes Damn good care of me.

I ain't just talking shit, either.

I am sure there will come a day when she get's pissed off at me and I ain't a bit worried about that, I know how much it costs to get divorced and she is going to be stuck with my narrow ass, she is the one that wanted to get married.*

In the mean time it is adults only, rated "R" and y'all have a nice day!

* Take my word for it, I thought long and hard before I asked her to marry me.

Been there, Done that before.
She is a good woman.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

That Was Fast!

I went to that job interview yestrday and talked to a pretty nice guy but he had a strange accent and I had trouble understanding him. He asked lots of questions too.

I have a few weak spots, I'm not a licensed electrition for one.

Well, as you can probably tell from your own experiences at interviews, I was a tad nervous.
It is a maintenance position for a company that is world wide.

Apparently I said the right things because I got a phone call from the placement agency lady a little before lunch today telling me that the interview went really well and I am to report for work on Monday!

I let out a huge WHOO HOO!

Then I toldher that it was awesome and thanked her too.
I am currently two and a half hours away from home working under a deadline that this job HAS to be done by Friday. We pulled twelve hours today and made good progress but it is going to be close.

I told the Boss Man about the news and told him I have to be back in Vancouver Friday afternoon to go piss in a cup for this outfit.
I ain't worried about the piss test, it's the getting the fuck out of here in time.

There is more to this story but that kinda lets ya know what is going on.

To say I am stoked to get a full time, long term job ten fucking minutes away from home would be an understatement.

I still have some other things coming down the tube to tell ya about but I am going to string you along for awhile until I get a battle plan hammered out.

I would like to thank everyone for their best wishes for not only my recent wedding but also for this job interview.

It means a lot to me and I want you to know that.
I have had a lot of support from people I have never met yet are people I would like to call my friends.

OK, I just put in a twelve hour shift and I am fucking beat.
I may have to do it again tomorrow but I will be doing it with a slight hangover because I am going to celebrate a wee bit before I fall down and go thud.

Thanks again fer stopping by.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Job Interview

I has one at ten in the morning.
I am really hoping it goes well too. Ten minutes from the Weasel Den, full time with Bennies and a decent wage doing maintenance work for a manufacturer.

It's kind of a weird deal.
This company doesn't do direct hiring, they use a placement company that specializes in Craftsmen.
Then, when you get placed , you work for this company but actually turn in your time and get paid by the placement agency.
If you make it past the ninety day probationary period, the company you actually work at has the option of putting you on their payroll as a permanent employee.
The lady that interviewed me said she has over thirty employees at one place that have have never been placed on the payroll and have been there over eight fucking years!
She also told me that I was qualified for three other jobs that were on her desk right that minute.

The best part is this doesn't cost me a dime.

The placement agency actually pays the benefits and if you have been working for over a year they actually pay you for two weeks of vacation.
Win, Win.

I am SO hoping to get this position.

I have a ton of other shit going on I will divulge later, I have now worked seven days in a row doing what I have been at since March, it's honest work but it can be very physical at times and involves a lot of walking back and forth at times.
I busted my narrow ass hard enough last week in some serious heat enough I had to poke a new hole in my belt.
When yer as skinny as I am, that's doing something.

So, wish me luck.

Now ya know why there hasn't been much going on around here, I been busy.

Thanks fer stopping by.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Bring Out Yer Dead

Who would have thought that folks can't afford ten thousand dollar funerals any more?

According to the USA Today, the dead tree version of the news that is afforded to me gratis at the hotel I am currently burrowed into, the entire country has seen at least a ten percent increase in unclaimed bodies and funerals for indigent people.

Increasingly, counties are opting for cremations over burials because it is cheaper.

Just in case you didn't know, if you croak and are old enough to collect Social Security, the government will pay out a whopping $250 for your remains to be taken to the local land fill.

The last I heard, it costs a grand just to be cremated.

Ya might as well just have a couple of guys dragging a cart down the street yelling out "Bring out Your Dead" like they did back in Europe when the plague was in full bloom.

Eh, just leave me out for the vultures, when I'm dead, I won't give a fuck anyway.

This is just one more aspect of the Republican plan that seems to be working a little too well these days.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Fuck You Todd

Laugh my ass off, you thought I was going to let that shit slide?

This is yer 15 minutes of fame pal.

For those of you who have no clue about what I am fucking with him for, We occasionally have reason to be aquainted with each other for extended periods of time and my friend dogs my ass constantly.

Old man jokes abound.

He is one of those guy's who fucks with ya all damn day.

Take my word for it, I give it right back, ya punk assed little bitch.

He could turn me into a pretzel if he wanted to but it is all in good fun.

He is nice enough to turn his girlfriends onto this site and some other dudes too and I have to thank the little fucker for that.
As a matter of fact, I am going to bestow upon him the coveted honorary Ornery Bastard with oak leaf clusters.

I do believe there are under five people who I have done that for.

So, here is a hearty Fuck You dude.

Lol, see ya's when I see ya's.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Rick Perry Is An Idiot

The guy is worse than Stupie McFuckwit fer chrissakes.
The more I hear come out of his pie hole the more I see a polished turd.

That guy is scary fucking stupid.

Sunday, September 11, 2011

So much Fun, So Little Time

I don't know about anyone else with a Blog but I actually surf my Blogroll on a regular basis.
They are on there for a reason, because I like what they have to say and how they say it.

Sometimes because of the lack of time, I can barely get past the "B's" or the "F's". It is alphabetical.

Other times I have a bit more latitude and I can get clear to the bottom.

Just because I don't leave a comment once in a while does not mean that I ain't paying attention to what you have to say.
I am.
I do have my favorites and you can find me on your Stat Counter.

I also can't stress enough how much I appreciate your comments and feed back.
Even you, Ben Dover and the anonymous guy who keeps wanting pictures of my wife's ass.Ya gotta know I have a sense of humor too.

I would sincerely like to thank those of you who take the time to stop by my little rant hole and a special thank you to those of you who actually link to my rambling mess of the words that are available to me.

We all have our own opinions on the events that affect us every day and there are some extraordinarily articulate folks among us who have a talent for putting their thoughts into words.

Others, like me, have their own way of expressing what happens to be going through their minds in their own way, apparently, some of you reading this can relate to my mind set and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my outlook on the current clusterfuck we get to call life in this day and age.

There are others who have actually donated some serious cash money to me and I would like to take a moment to give those folks a very special Thank You, ya know who ya are.

I have been venting my spleen here and at my other site for over six years now, I kinda think that makes me some kind of author, either that or some crazy fucking bastard with a problem with letting shit go.

Either way, as long as I have access to the tubes, I am going to continue screaming into the void and I thank you for watching the melt down.
Ya know it's going to be a good time, kinda like watching a Nascar multi car smash up in slow motion.


I went out to have a smoke and ran into a couple of older gentlemen who had come out early this morning and put up the American flag along the little bit of asphalt we call Main Street around here.
They do it every major holiday as a volunteer service and you would have to be blind dumb and deaf not to know they are veterans from a long damn time ago.

I put out my smoke and helped them roll up some of the flags and thanked them personally.

The next motherfucker who calls me a traitor because I don't tow to the Republican talking points gets a broken fucking nose.

Friday, September 09, 2011

Ten Years After

Jesus Christ, they are kicking a dead horse like their lives depend on it.

I am already sick, to fucking death, of the media orgy already.
I even listened to some jack ass fucking mental health asshole expert while I was stuck in a five mile long traffic jam trying to explain how we need to speak the truth to wee little young ones about what happened on that day, before they were even born.

Listen up here folks.
I am well aware that those fuckers scored a touch down when we weren't looking and that several thousand people lost their lives and that it really fucked up thousands of families.
I wasn't there but I watched it as it happened.
My utmost sympathies go out to those who were affected by this atrocity.

The effects can still be felt.
What really pisses me off is these media whores trying to make a buck off of this travesty.

Scumbags and douchebags, every mother fucking one of them.

Now we have this "Credible Threat" they are spouting for the anniversary.

Cough it up motherfucker.

We have already lost every freedom imaginable because some scaredy cats in government positions and some freakazoids with authoritarian agendas think they know what is best for us "Sheeple"

I have news for you sonsabitches, we, as a people, ain't afraid of shit.

Bring your shit and if we find you, you are a dead motherfucker, period.

So, as this anniversary of the single worst attack this country has ever sustained on our own soil nears.
Remember those innocents who's lives were lost, also remember we have inflicted that to other countries tenfold.

We are not all that and a bag of chips.
We are human and we die just like every other citizen of any other country.

The only thing that makes us different is the whore mongering assholes amongst us who want to make a buck off of other peoples misery and suffering and business is good for them.

God Damn their souls to Hell.

Here is some other Ten Years After, as it should have been.

My condolences to the families of the victims of 9/11/ 2001.
I won't ever forget either.

Thursday, September 08, 2011

Political Circus

That is what our president actually called what the fuck has been going on with our elected representatives.

My question is, who the fuck is the Ring Leader?

Wednesday, September 07, 2011

Pick One

I ain't going to link to a fucking thaing, It's all swirelling the terlet.

The Dow and the consumers index is trying to find the bottom of a dead mine shaft and the housing market is exactly where it was predicted to be four years ago.

Thank you Timmy and Fuck you Ayn Rand.

Greenspan is a proven idiot and the entire countries Attorney Generals are going to let the Banking thieves off yet again.

I say drag their lying asses out in the street and let's have a burn out contest, winner take all, no fucking lawyers allowed.
We get what is left in our driveways and they get the soaking wet rotten fucking mess they brought.How in the fuck are we supposed to run against quarter million dollar cars when we can barely afford the gas to even start ours?

Run what ya brung.

Every staple I find in my tire takes out two assholes and one secretary.

I may have to fire up The Beast, just for fun.

Tuesday, September 06, 2011

Joe Lieberman Is A Dick

No particular reason for this post other than that I hate that turncoat motherfucker with a passion and like to remind myself of that fact from time to time.

Monday, September 05, 2011

The Professional Left Strikes Again

I'm telling ya, Blue Gal is absolutely brilliant.

Talk to the fucking hand Cantor.

Sunday, September 04, 2011


So,Congress is coming back in session.

I was reading the dead tree version of the local rag they call a newspaper around here and see that Congress has a whopping 12% approval rating.

First of all, I think that is a bit optimistic of a figure.

Second, just who are these 12%?

They most certainly haven't been paying attention.
12% of Americans actually approve of what Congress has done since the last election.

These people are willfully, Ignorant, Stupid, Mother, Fuckers.

The only other explanation would be that there is a fuckload more lobbyists in this country than I could ever imagine.

Even Stupie McFuckwit never got much under 28% and just astounded me even at that.

No, twelve percent tells me someone has their thumb on the scale because the current crop of dumb as rusty hammers doesn't even deserve that much.

There should be an automatic recall kill switch new election kind of thingy if their approval rate dips below Stupies all time low.

Approaching just one tenth of the population being happy should tell those dumb cocksuckers something ain't right in La La land.

Even now, they are gearing up and trying to raise money for an election that is still ONE YEAR AWAY!

This never ending vote stumping seriously affects what business they should be taking care of.
Renaming post offices doesn't do a fucking thing for this country except for some fucking painter somewhere who gets a quick name change job on the front of a fucking post office.

I don't even know why I bother to vote anymore.

Fucking bastards could give a rats ass what I think and do what their owners want without fail.
Just remember when 90% of us told them in no uncertain terms not to bail out those crooked fuckers on Wall Street?
That even beats 12% and they said Fuck You, we're doing it anyway.

Nope, unless you are a multi millionaire or a Mega Corporation, you do not exist.

They are actually afraid of the average constituent, especially when they are gathered in large quantities.
I see now some cock bite asshole representatives are trying to charge a fee if you want to talk to them face to face.
I have two words for that nonsense;

Fuck, That.

We pay your fucking salary, you arrogant fucking jack ass.
You work for us, arrogant fucking jack ass.

If I want to talk to you about something I find to be important enough to expend my energy and express my concerns to you about, you make the fucking time and effort to make your sorry fucking ass available to me, your employer.

If you have the gall to try and charge me for that, I am on the phone to the ethics committee, the same day, capiche?

That shit needs to stop yesterday.

So, as I sit here, I am still decidedly puzzled as to just who this 12% is and if they actually exist or is it a figment of someones imagination?

I seriously doubt that if I went outside and randomly asked people who were walking by whether or not they approve of the job Congress has been doing that I would find a single aye.

More than likely I figure I would encounter expressions of outrage and disgust, universally.

Friday, September 02, 2011

Who Says I Don't Have A Sense Of Humor?

This isn't starting out the way I had envisioned....

Yes, I know I am a skinny bastard and the "old " jokes are getting just that.
Quit pissing me off and get the fuck off my lawn.

Thursday, September 01, 2011


Too many irons in the fire, been killing myself trying to make a few bucks.
The Good Lord willing, I need to get the fuck out of here and go talk to someone.

I haven't had the internets for a few days and now I have to bail.
My honeys is coming to see me. Bwaaahaahaaaa.

See ya's.