Biologically Impossible Arizona Law

OK, now they have just ran full tilt off the cliff of crazy.

Arizona lawmakers gave final passage to three anti-abortion bills Tuesday afternoon, including one that declares pregnancies in the state begin two weeks before conception.

snip

My bold.

Um, excuse me, It is my belief there has to actually be coitus, ejaculation of sperm by the male, a fertilized egg available by the woman and one lucky sperm cell penetrating said egg cell for there to be a pregnancy.

Apparently some ignorant fucking idiot believes this happens before the slut even meets the horn dog and a date for dinner has been settled on.

There hasn't even been one complimentary drink been served.

My question is, how this supposed fucked up stupid, ignorant fucking law can declare a pregnancy TWO FUCKING WEEKS before any of these things happen?

Well step right up and behold the math skills of the Republican party;

The 18th week bill includes a new definition for when pregnancy begins. All of the bills passed the Senate and now head to Gov. Jan Brewer (R) for her signature or veto. Passage of the late-term abortion bill would give Arizona the earliest definition of late-term abortion in the country; most states use 20 weeks as a definition.

A sentence in the bill defines gestational age as "calculated from the first day of the last menstrual period of the pregnant woman," which would move the beginning of a pregnancy up two weeks prior to conception.

My bold yet again.



Get that?

I try to look down your blouse and you are automatically pregnant if we hook up TWO FUCKING WEEKS LATER.

These people are a danger to society, period. Tell me again how there is no Republican War On women.
Out of control societal trolls with what they deem as unlimited power to control women's bodies.
There should be recall petitions flying.

After all the extremest political positions that have come out of Jan Brewer's administration, this one is over the top.
Throw in Joe Arpaio and all the crazy illegal shit he has pulled and I vote we do what the neighboring countries did to Malia recently and close the fucking borders with that state. No fuel, no fresh vegetables, no electricity and no quail wings for those insane motherfucking Republicans.

Nobody in, nobody out.
Sorry for your luck touristy people but you just might be carrying some extremist ideas back out and that would make you a Domestic Terrorist.

Ya Gotta Love Modern Technology

You can stagger around after waking up too early in the fucking morning and flip a switch and have an instant, beautiful gas fireplace come on with the fake logs and can't even light a fucking cigarette with the fucking thing because it is behind a plate of glass and your lighter is somewhere in the bedroom so you have to go slam the toaster down like yer mom taught ya forty fucking years ago.

Who are these nanny cocksuckers and where are they so I can cock punch the stupid mother fuckers?

Oh, sure, it's for my safety.

I am positive it is the same bunch of fucking tight asses who won't allow beer commercials to let anyone actually drink fucking beer, because beer is bad for me and I have to wear seat belts, my kids have to wear helmets to ride their bikes or skate boards and god Forbid I don't put my garbage can five feet away from the recycling bin at precisely seven AM on Thursday morning, I even got a note for that shit.

Nanny needs a good stomp in the crotch.

Update, oh FUCK ME I forgot about the cigarettes that go dead now because some fuck head burned his house down and now the fucking cock suckers go out.
Smooth move motherfuckers, try sticking a half smoked cigarette in a fucking toaster some time.
I'm sure there will be a law against that in the works next week.

Now I am lacing up my steel toe'd boots that I have to wear at work and I am coming for your Nancy asses with my safety glasses on and a work permit signed in triplicate.

Enough

As anyone who has ever stopped by here knows, I can be a bit of a dick.
In real life, I am a nice fucking guy, you would be amazed, seriously.

This is my outlet for what goes through my head while I am some times gritting my teeth while being such a nice guy.

On this particular subject, the Republicans concerted effort to use their political power to turn back the clock back before the turn of the century concerning women's rights and especially women's reproductive rights, has caused me to blow a fuse for the language filter and I will start with a huge neon sign, FUCK YOU!!

That being said, I would like to say that if it weren't for women, none of these crazy fucks would be here.

Ya can't help it.



I do believe in evolution and if Frothy Mixture had been born on the West Coast, I can assure you, he would have a different outlook on life.

It seems there are some backwards motherfuckers back East and y'all need to get out the butterfly nets.
Thank goodness, The Mormon decided he has no use for Oregon and cancelled an appearance at a debate here.

Good, fuck head.


This fucking bullshit about Republicans passing laws that declare any woman wanting an abortion having to have an invasive procedure is so off the fucking charts I am wondering if the contrails in the sky might have fucked them up up big time.

Let me be clear here.
No one, and I mean NO ONE, has the fucking authority to legislate personal body invasions for any medical procedure, PERIOD.

In case you don't quite understand what I mean, if you try and pass a law that says I have to have some state sanctioned asshole stick his finger up my ass so I can get condoms, said state sanctioned asshole is going to be in need of some serious dental work, I could give a fuck what law you pass.

I break the fucking law every Goddamned day, watch me.

This wedge issue that has absolutely nothing to do with the current run for President has gotten so fucking far out of hand, I want to get my hands around someones throat.

I have had enough of you ignorant cocksuckers.

You are so adamant about your religion being such an integral part of your publicly political message and doing your damndest to shove it down the throats of everyone in this country because you happen to have a majority of your crazy motherfucking idiot, backwards assed, stupid sonsabitch,creationist Bible Thumping jack ass porn watching fellows yanking the levers of power , you are about to find out what the word Backlash means.

That's right, morons, backlash.

I Highly doubt that any of you are good at Math.

You know,that two plus two thing.

Knowingly pissing off half the population of this country, besides the rest of the world watching you do it, is precisely like the old saying of cutting off your nose to spite your face.

You people are so fucking stupid I would feel sorry for you and donate my pocket change to help someone figure out just what the fuck is wrong with you so we could fund a medical cure for your sorry asses, if it were possible.

Alas, it seems to be out of reach of current medical science, other than euthanasia.

The sun does not orbit a flat earth and yes, the reason there are so many people like you are on the planet is a physical condition involving chemical sequences called hormones, you are not exclusive to this club and your mother is no exception either.

You are, however, exclusive to having been blessed without a few key chemical sequences that involving the development of the human brain, especially the ones crucial to something called abstract thinking.

I actually feel sorry for you because you have no sense of adventure, need rigid guidelines to rule your everyday lives, have to have the same routine every fucking day and it makes me wonder if there is not yet some clinically undiagnosed relation to your thought process and autism.

Before anyone jumps my ass about that last comment, I have a 28 year old autistic boy now and I can certainly see the similarities.

In short, get your fucking Holier than thou, women are subject to my whims bullshit out of our public discourse, get the fuck with the program that we, the people, need to get back to work, quit obstructing every Goddamn thing to prove how "pure" you are and while you are at it, grow the fuck up and when ever you crazy fucks decide this is a great wedge issue in the future, stay the fuck out of my wife's pussy, the guy two states away's daughters pussy, her friends pussy and everyone else who happens to be of the gentler sexes reproductive parts, forever.
Else you will soon see a huge void in your voting results.
Those being not in your favor.

You might also experience some side effects, such as burnt toast for breakfast, no fucking breakfast or dinner and a sudden surge of that dreaded Hawaiian disease, commonly known as "LackAnookie".

Of course, that will just be the one thing to push you over the edge, again.
Burnt toast is just beyond the pale from your female indentured servant.

You will have to get a bigger wrench to super tighten her chastity belt and show her who is boss.

Bye Bye Rush

The rotten fucker finally stepped on his tiny little dick.

I have been waiting for this for years now.

Calling a young woman who had the temerity to speak out about birth control a slut on his national radio broadcast show just blew up in his face.
Advertisers are bailing out and he even went so far as to give a quasi apology.


I want him to have so much time on his hands that he and Glenn Beck can spend the rest of their lives reliving the phantom good old days in a very deep and very dark cave in a tsunami zone.
Hell, I will be charitable and throw in a fucking soccer ball to mediate their occasional disagreements.
I will call it Obama....

The time has come to finally rid ourselves of this poisonous fucknugget.

Bye Bye Frothy

Romney has been declared the winner of not only Michigan but Arizona as well.
He did especially well in Michigan with voters that were;

Old and White at 42%,
Over 65,wait, I repeat myself.

Post Graduate,46%,

AAAAAnd, had an income of over 200 grand a year.

What a fucking surprise.

44% of those adoring fans were in the category of not having any family member in a Union with a total among all candidates coming to a whopping 77%.
Another surprise,

not.

Fuck this, Go see the results for yourselves, it is entirely within the norm for typical Republican voters.
My little chubby comes down to Frothy getting another chance to show the world his hairy ass.

It is getting mathematically impossible for him to get the nomination, Gingrich is a scarecrow in an empty corn field and Dr. Paul is even starting to eat Newts Liver in places.

All in all,it is what I have been anticipating since last year.

Giggle.

What We Need Is Another Good GodDamned War

Fuck me if it ain't coming too.
Motherfuckers.
Us, Israel and Iran are strutting around like Peacocks in heat.
If, you haven't been paying attention, Israel and Iran have been knocking off each others citizens, "unofficially" for a few months now.
A nuclear scientist here and there and a couple of  Israeli diplomats over there, coupled with the U.S. strong arming the UN  and the International banking industry to freeze the ability for Iran to transfer money from it's oil sales spells big money for the American  War Industrial Complex yet again.

Fuck Iraq, Fuck Afghanistan, We lost those war fronts long ago to the tune of thousands of  lives and billions of dollars, now we are staring into the face of the most disastrous  socio-political-economic mistake of the entire history of this nation.

Good idea to go stick your nose around yet another Middle Eastern Country, thousands of miles away.

We have been fucking around with Iran since before I was born 52 years ago.

Remember the Shaw?

The CIA was tripping over their dicks back when I was in High School.

Now, Iran has threatened to close the Hormuz straights, where over sixty percent of the international supply of the worlds oil passes through.
We responded with a task force of Air Craft carriers, with their requisite support ships and now Iran just upped the ante.

Granted, it's just a Frigate class, and we probably have enough fire power to send the damn thing to Davy Jones's locker three days ago but who the fuck profits from this?

It certainly ain't you, it ain't me and there will certainly be " Collateral Damage" if it comes to  the moment of point blank confrontation.

It's bad enough that we have a carrier group there now, when Iran sends little speed boats around to harass them  with the potential to sink a battle ship, this is political brinkmanship with potentially deadly  results.

I do mean deadly.
As my Dad always  told me, ya fuck with the bull and ya get the horn.
 
If Israel decides to go a head and  attack Iran through a bombing campaign like they have been threatening to do, there is going to be shit splattered from the Middle East to the Mid West.

Somebody needs to wise the fuck up.

Gag, Choke, Retch

Like the Electoral map doesn't smell like shit already.

Nothing like a frothy mix of fecal matter and Anal lube to make that more attractive.

To The Moon, Alice

Forgive me for remebering that classic line from The Jackie Gleason Show but now I am hearing that the Crazy Fuck known as Newt Fucking Gingrich promises us he will colonize the moon if elected President.

In light of all of our economic woes, I fully and completely back this outrageous idea.
As long as every fucking crazy Republican candidate is on board the first rocket.

Start with the current crop of Republican candidates for President, including Newtie and you have my most sincere backing of this project. Rush Limbaugh can actually be co pilot as long as he doesn't touch any buttons or switches.
As a matter of fact, I will donate some of my hard earned cash and start an internet pledge drive to helpfully fund his dream.

Once they arrive, I move to cut all funding and turn our attention back to our current economic concerns so we can actually make some progress without The Party of No being around to fuck things up.
It is a matter of record that these fucking clowns can break a cast iron anvil with a rubber mallet anyways.

Start fueling that rocket.

Rick Perry Is An Idiot

The guy is worse than Stupie McFuckwit fer chrissakes.
The more I hear come out of his pie hole the more I see a polished turd.

That guy is scary fucking stupid.

Where Do They Find These Fucking Idiots?

Really.


Congressman Says Trees Are Bad For The Planet.

And no, it isn't that stupid fuck Inhofe this time.

California's Dana Rohrabacher says that if we really want to cool the planet, we should get rid of those harmful trees.

 You know damn good and well this fucktard is a Republican.

You would think that being voted into a very high office in the United States Government in this day and age would involve prospective politicians with some degree of common knowledge, a bit of perspective and some common fucking sense.

Apparently not.

Speaking to the top American climate diplomat, Todd Stern, Rohrabacher asked, "Is there some thought being given to subsidizing the clearing of rainforests in order for some countries to eliminate that production of greenhouse gases?" Rohrabacher went on, asking, “Would people be supportive of cutting down older trees in order to plant younger trees as a means to prevent this disaster from happening?"

snip

Darren Samuelsohn interviewed Jay Gulledge of the Pew Center on Global Climate Change, who said that while it is true that 80 to 90 percent of gross greenhouse gases come from nature, Rohrabacher's understanding of the emissions process — and science for that matter — is questionable. "How he's using it is totally off the wall," Gulledge said. "It's beyond the pale. It makes no sense."

Warning, link goes to Politico.



Let me be clear here, this guy is a fucking MORON!

I would bet a hundred bucks that this fucking idiot doesn't know that the Sahara Desert used to be a sub tropical paradise.
Anyone with an IQ over their shoe size knows what happens when you cut down too many trees in a certain environmental zone, the top layer of soil goes away and the local climate changes.
The next thing you have is a desert.

Dude, cutting down trees is the answer to our problems?
Halleluja! We are SAVED!

Fuck me, there must be over a billion trees in this state, let's start here!

Think of the economic boom!

Thousands of out of work lumberjacks, log truck drivers, saw mills and ships to take those pesky fuckers somewhere else, all working 24/7 to cut down all those trees to save the planet!

Genius.

Then we can all stand around and watch every inch of top soil get washed off the hills and clog up all our rivers and wonder why there is no wildlife in our hills and no fish in our rivers, why we have nothing but mud and dust to eat.

Did he not ever hear of the Dust Bowl back in the 30's?

Holy fucking Christ I am sick of dealing with elected officials who are dumber than a box of rusty hammers.

They say a picture is worth a thousand words, there ya are.

One box and one rusty hammer.


H/T SpongeBobCrackWhore.

 

 

Yo, Eh, Fixer, Gordon,Bob,Get a Load Of This Ignorant Fucking DoucheBag.

,This is just so fucking typical.
 Get the fuck away from me you ignorant sonofabitch, before I open the drawer with all the pretty hammers.

Ya wonder why I am all done with this after thirty fucking years.

If you think for one second that this is a parody, I can absolutely tell you for a fact, I have had quite a few, very short, conversations exactly like this in the past..
 Back in the day, I was just as ignorant about vehicles. I can remember the day someone asked me to hand them a grease gun and I had no Idea what the fuck he was talking about.
I certainly could not afford to pay anyone to fix my broke down fucked up pieces of shit cars that I was buying for a hundred bucks.

Ya wanna know what?
I went and bought Chiltons manuals, bought a ton eighty of beerto pay for badly needed help  and begged some of the best for advice and to borrow a tool here and there.I don't call myself Bustednuckles for any small reason, I learned the fucking hard way. I also went to the school of hard knocks and over the last thirty years spent about eighty fucking grand on tools and roll away tool boxes.
I have seen what lies underneath the skin more than some doctors and bled a lot of of my precious blood,sometimes to excess.

I have worked with  broken arms, wrists, thumbs and ankles.
Doctors some time they think they are pretty smart. When I come in for stitches on my thumb or other digit an you put in three and tell me to go home?
I tell you to put in six because I am going to work in the morning.
This is a true story.


They get pissed off at ya! Excuse the shit out of me, I got a living to make here, and a fucking Snap On payment, every. mother. fucking. week. Oh, by the fucking way, now I gotta pay you too.
At one time, I was paying more for tools than I was for a fucking house payment.
I was damn humble when I needed help and I had been wrenching on things since before I hit puberty.

You come into a shop like the  arrogant cocksucker below and you will be damn lucky the guys from the tow company will show up to pull it out of the lot next week.
Ya see, like you have heard your whole life, it's who ya know.
Shoot, someone parked four damn cars in front of yours and we can't find the keys.
Called in sick today too.

Let me give you a piece of advice you would be wise to pass on to your children;
Don't piss off your mechanic, your doctor, your girlfriend,your carpenter,electrician, plumber  your Mom or your fucking Lawyer. as  a matter of fact, don't be rude to anyone who performs any kind of service for you.
  I will give bonus points to the next person that tips the gas station attendant that stands out in the weather all day and night like you do that big titted bar maid, I do. Been there, done that, in a Blizzard, on Christmas Day.I know, hard to find a big titted bar maid pumping gas in a blizzard on Christmas, you get my point
I have fixed more fucked up shit for free than I can remember, I can also remember shit like this that got you to call a cab than I give a rat fuck about.

 Now, to see what inspired this little rant;


Yeah, right at the end there, I would be showing that fucking dumbass where the chrome muffler bearing fits with the high flow squeegie sharpener.
That and the door, I like my hammers too much to waste them on something like that.
Ignorance and humility will be miles ahead of stupidity and arrogance in my book, every fucking time.

I know of what I speak, ten fucking years at a Lincoln dealer. There are some arrogant mother fuckers in those places.

Sorry, your parts are on back order Maam.

School Is Open For You Right Wingers Who Hate Unions.

Ever really paid any attention to what Collective Bargaining is?

Do you work an eight hour day, get time and a half for working more than eight hours a day?


Do you get paid Holidays off?

Vacation time?
Sick days?

If you said yes to any one of these questions and proclaim to hate unions, you can take a giant suck out of my ass.
Ever heard of Prevailing Wage jobs?
That would be because of the Davis Bacon Act.

Morons.

The Davis–Bacon Act of 1931 is a United States federal law which established the requirement for paying prevailing wages on public works projects. All federal government construction contracts, and most contracts for federally assisted construction over $2,000, must include provisions for paying workers on-site no less than the locally prevailing wages and benefits paid on similar projects.
The act is named after its sponsors, James J. Davis, a Senator from Pennsylvania and a former Secretary of Labor under three presidents, and Representative Robert L. Bacon of Long Island, New York. The Davis-Bacon act was passed by Congress and signed into law by President Herbert Hoover on March 3, 1931.^[1]

Google it.

This Bullshit in Wisconsin is nothing more than Class warfare and they want you working peons to bend your knees and take whatever they want to give you for wages and give up all the benefits that our Forefathers fought and bled for, trying to make a fucking living in shit hole factories.

I have lived in a Union Household my entire life. I have walked picket lines in freezing rain and stopped to give a box of donuts to strikers doing the same damn thing.

If you think unions are bad for this country then I would ask you to go to work for minimum wage, with no benefits and kiss my motherfucking ass.

You have absolutely no fucking idea what Union people have fought and died for so you can have a three day weekend called Labor Day.

Choke on a hot dog you ignorant fuck.

For you of the Tea Bagger  persuasion, notice this crowd is in Wisconsin and it is really cold there this time of year. Notice also, some folks from New Jersey decided to stop by and offer their support.

By the way, that 365 billion dollar shortfall he keeps crying about is actually 165 million and if he wasn't such a fucking Republican cunt, he could raise the taxes by  0.05 % and have a surplus.

Class warfare babies.
This is what you get when you vote for any God Damn Republican these days. If you haven't been paying attention, they have already won the Class war and you are now collateral damage.

Get Yer Ass In School. Stupid

And ya wonder why yer kid is as dumb as a rock.

That is because their teachers are dumber than a  fucking truck load of them.
I ain't no wizard but I can speak clearly when I want to, I can even spell sometimes too.

File this under the stupid shit that their parents can't even get straight.

We are fucking doomed. Go read this and ask yourself just What, The, Fuck.

Good fucking God.

They used to have these things called newspapers, there were also these people who made a living getting these things called facts. A fact ain't like a fucking trout, you can't eat them. A trout will go bad and start stinking after a while.

A fact will stink the minute it has been exposed and continue to do so forever.

Unfortunately, forever seems to have an expiration date these days and some ignorant cocksucker will put the revised history into a fucking school book, that you pay for and have your kid tested on and ingrained into his/her head forever and ever, Amen.

Jaysus rode a Brontosaurous and the world is flat and six thousand years old.

All that and being taught to our children in school as Gospel.

I am banging my fucking head on the desk.

If this is the legacy we are leaving our children, we are beyond fucked.
No fucking wonder the Chinese and the Japanese are kicking our fucking asses when it comes to education  and career performance.

For fucks sake, I had a conversation in the early nineties with a relative in Nebraska who has a few thousand acres of Corn about Plate tectonics. Hard core Right Wing but he was at least open to the conversation and I finally convinced him it was real.

Now we are going back to the mid thirteenth century and it is being propagated to our fucking children by ignorant fucking bastards that can't even be bothered to pay attention to RECENT FUCKING HISTORY!!

I thought those idiots in Texas were bad and they are but this is just getting ridiculous.

Get your political bullshit out of our school systems and teach our kids the fucking basics.

I absolutely hated school but that's because I was smarter than some of my right wing teachers.

I once got into an argument with a Bible thumping old bastard football coach who was also a teacher who told me there was no such word as procreate. This was a full fledged Bible Thumping rascist motherfucker too, way back in 1978!
He had some little cheerleader bitch back him up just to try and humiliate me in front of the class.
I swore then and there that no one in that school would ever know the extent of my vocabulary or just how smart I was.

I graduated with a 1.2 grade point average* just to get the fuck away from all the fucking ignorance that they called a High School Education. I was markedly dumber after I finished than I was before I went in, they have the test scores to prove it.

It seems some things will never change in this country.

If there was ever a mortal sin that could be committed purposely, keeping your children ignorant is it.

That is what we are supposedly fighting against in the Near East, when we aren't just killing the poor fuckers outright in the mean time.

Shit, ninety percent of our chilren couldn't even begin to tell you what the Near East is, let alone compete against them in a head to head Q and A.

Goat roping 1.0, coming your way kiddies.

Ya might as well start banging that stupid cousin of yours with the big tits and help speed the process along.


* I graduated from a two year college with a 3.7 grade point average and honors, showed up half drunk most of the time too. A 4.0 was just showing off.

Fuck You Very Much

Someone can kiss my fucking ass;

Dear Americans: If you are not "authorized" personnel, but you have read, written about, commented upon, tweeted, spread links by "liking" on Facebook, shared by email, or otherwise discussed "classified" information disclosed from WikiLeaks, you could be implicated for crimes under the U.S. Espionage Act -- or so warns a legal expert who said the U.S. Espionage Act could make "felons of us all."

As the U.S. Justice Department works on a legal case against WikiLeak's Julian Assange for his role in helping publish 250,000 classified U.S. diplomatic cables, authorities are leaning toward charging Assange with spying under the Espionage Act of 1917. Legal experts warn that if there is an indictment under the Espionage Act, then any citizen who has discussed or accessed "classified" information can be arrested on "national security" grounds.

Lick, my fucking balls.

Btw, that is a link to the Sedition Act.

Lick my fucking balls again.

That is the act of some pussy motherfuckers afraid their nasty shit would actually get exposed.

The same kind of shit that brought us the Patriot Act.
Some pussy motherfuckers trying to hide their illegal shit behind a bullshit law with the full cooperation of the United States Fucking Senate.

So now they are pulling this Sedition Act Bullshit out of their fucking asses and trying to scare people. 

Fuck You.

No, I am serious. Fuck You.

This may be why the State Department has warned certain people not to read or to discuss WikiLeak content on social media -- not unless they wished to be considered a security risk. CNN reported that "unauthorized federal workers and contractors have been warned not to attempt to read the classified documents on WikiLeaks." According to the recently hacked Gawker, an anonymous tip revealed that the U.S. military warned soldiers not to read "about the Wikileaks disclosures-or read coverage of them in mainstream news sites." Even students at Columbia University that might wish to be hired by the State Department were warned not to comment upon or post links to the WikiLeak cables.

Oh my God, not even read them?

You do realize, they can track that shit, right?

Apparently not. As much as they brag about their electronic sneaky fucking prowess, it seems they are not as omniscient as they would like you to believe.

Trying to scare everyone just for reading what is by our our right, that has to be leaked instead of what by rights should have already been public information?Once again, Fuck You.

Worse yet, threatening our whole population with imprisonment for doing so?
Who the fuck, do you think you are?"

Seriously?

You know where I am.

Fucking Idiots, Ya Been Asking For It

http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/world/la-fg-1124-korea-shelling-pictures,0,5522606.photogallery

I do believe that some little fucker needs to have his ass handed to him.
Quit fucking around and help him out.
The Republicans will lap it up like a shit eating dog and what the hell, we need to go to another war anyway, right?

That's what I keep hearing.

Oh, wait, It's not Iran, my bad.
Fucking jerks.

I can see what's coming a mile away.

Fucking attention whores.

 Can't we let what's her name out of treatment a little early and ship her narrow ass over there so the National Enquirer can save some air fair?

More TSA Insanity.

Remind me again how these stupid fucking morons are supposedly keeping us all safe from each other.

This is so far beyond ridiculous it should be criminal.

Yes, I know it is a Winger site.
It should startle someone when they figure out where the traffic is coming from and that is enough for a chuckle out of me.

I told ya I'm ornery.



That isn't the point.

The point is, these retarded fucking idiots at the TSA are so programmed that the obvious goes right in front of their faces and they don't blink an eye.
How fucking stupid does one have to be to get one of these jobs?
Is there like, twenty short yellow buses out back for these fucking cretins?

Do they have Velcro shoe laces?

Do they push on the glass door every day that has a big sign that says PULL?
The absolute stupidity of this flat out boggles my mind.

Stew-Pid- IT -EE.
Ya know the dumb sonsabitches can't spell.
It's amazing they remember to breathe.

These complete dolts are our first defense against terrorists entering the country?

Now I am very afraid.


H/T Fark

Home Again

As a matter of fact, I got back Sunday night.
I just don't have much to say.
The current outrage over these bullshit pat downs at the airports has pretty much made it's way through the Blogosphere and I have to say I don't fly.
Fuck that shit.

You had better be a scantily clad hottie blonde with 38 DD's if you are reaching for my crotch and it better be for fun times.

The fucking bastards are feeling up little kids and nuns and anyone else that doesn't exactly think a massive dose of Xrays is necessarily a good thing.

How much ya wanna bet the nun turned around and got back in line?

I know, I'm a sick fucker but that was funny anyway.

These fucking people are out of control.
Even though I don't fly anyway, I would gladly join in the cause of boycotting the dirty sonsabitches.
Money talks to these airline people very loudly.

Whisper in their ear that they can go fuck themselves until they can pull their heads out of their asses and their filthy paws out of our crotches.

It won't take long for their number crunchers to start shitting themselves over lost revenue and then THEY can go lobby Congress to get it stopped.

Money talks to those rotten cock suckers very persuasively, as we all know.

A Message To My Government

What is it with you people?

You feel the need to have the ability to search my Email and track my foot print on the internet now too?
What the fuck is the matter with you idiots?
Just Friend me on Face book or send me an Email and I will be more than happy to share the pictures of tits that happen to be making the rounds today.

And what is this crap I hear about the President can order the assination of any one he wants now? Back in the day, it was the other way around. Let's see, JFK, Bobby, MLK, Malkcome X,, not to mention a couple of botched jobs like Reagan and the fucking Pope, George Wallace and Larry fucking Flynt.
What's up with that?
 You must have some nasty people working for you and I just happen to help pay for this?
Get a grip.
I am certainly not condoning this kind of behavior, I just find it unconcerting that you do.
What's with this rendition shit, did I not hear that you were a Constitutional scholar?
That would be a fail on that test.
Gitmo?
 War crimes?
What the hell?

Tazers?
 SWAT teams?
Traffic cameras for Christ sakes?

Xray body scans of little kids?
Body cavity searches to get on a fucking air plane?
 Are you fucking kidding me?

You are woried about my fucking Emails?
 This is insanity.
 You need to get your head out of your ass and fix the economy and tell your little pervert minions to stay the fuck out of my perverted little emails and get the fuck busy putting this joint back together under the letter of the laws that have been on the books for two hundred fucking years and quit wasting time making shit up  trying to justify some whacked out  George Orwell  imaginary  scenario that you got sold by some paranoid civil servant.

I certainly have better things to do than worry about some STASI asshole poring over the Emails that I send back and forth between family and friends and so the fuck do you.

If you are nice, I will forward you the one that says Bill Gates will send you money for forwarding his Email.
I can't wait to see the responses to this one.

A Suggestion For The Cell Phone People.

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After All There Years, I Discover I Am Actually A Rightie

Who would have thunk it.
I noticed recently whenever I see or hear one of the following idiots open their yap, my right hand instinctively reaches over and unzips my pants, pull out my decidedly left leaning dick and violently yanks me to the right, looking to fill said idiots mouth with warm piss to shut them the fuck up.
What do you think about that, Michele?

I know, it was a rhetorical question. Here, follow me for a second. Here is a round room, go pee in the corner.
Right.
That should keep her busy.
Wait a minute! Who let her in here?

SECURITY!
There is one of those "others" in here!
You, get your narrow brown ass out back and wait your turn.
I will get to you eventually and piss all over you too..
Think of it as the Health Care Bill these fucking clowns passed.

Next!

Oh, sorry Mr. Boner, I didn't mean to piss in your eye.
Actually, I did. if I had tried to piss in your mouth, it would have turned into a sprinkler big enough for a corn field in Ben Nelson's back yard. What with you flapping your gum's at light speed about the necessity to keep those tax breaks for the ridiculously rich. You're excused now.

Next? Oh fuck. I am going to need another half case of beer for this asshole.

What's the matter Newtie? All of a sudden you decide to shut up?
I have a question for you.
Who the fuck do you think you are anyway?
As far as I can tell, you are the tighty whities version of Reverend Jackson. You serve no apparent purpose other than to stir shit up.Still up to the same old tricks I see, lets shut down the government.
Please run for President, pretty please?
I would love to see your ass as broke as mine with about the same final results.

Next?
Oh, my. No, there will be no peeing in this mans mouth
I see a strict regiment of chili, peppers and prune juice for this ass clown, heavy on the Tobasco. Enough said.

What, you don't wan't that Rushie?

You too,

But our little sweetheart Sarah thinks maybe she can run for President too!

Guess what I have in mind for you my dear..

Wrong, go pee in the corner with Michele Bachmann, take the Tea Party with ya.


Oh, sure, this traitor.What list would be complete with out this egg sucking bastard?

Sorry Joe, I wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire and holding an arm load of kittens.

Smarmy mother fucker, God, I hate that guy.

Finally, we get to those spineless cock suckers who truly deserve my ire

 

Guess what? I am going to need a whole lot more beer before I can even begin to think about how pissed off I am at this crowd.