Keeping My Options Open

Update, No, you can't see it after I post but there is a bit of code at the top of the page when you are typing the draft of a post. And where in the fuck did the page breaks go? I can space paragraphs like a motherfucker here but the minute it goes to post, everything runs together like I am a fucking idiot. Fucking dickheads. See? That little bit of piss me off above is one of the reasons I am seriously thinking about hooking up the jumper cables , spraying some starter fluid down the carb and firing up the other joint again. Take a swing by and tell me what you think. It's been mothballed for several years now because Wordpress frustrated the shit out of me but I kept my account there just in case Blogger took a dump. In my opinion, Google really fucked up this time and even though it is free, there comes a time when you have to weigh your options. In case you missed the link above, there is another Ornery Bastard site . Swing the fuck by and ignore the empty beer cans and the over flowing ash trays. Throw the fucking cat off the couch and have a seat, that might be the joint I call home right soon. This new template blows goats. Why in the world they keep trying to fix something that ain't broke, repeatedly, has me wondering if there aren't a few nerds doing busy work.

Ya Gotta Love Modern Technology

You can stagger around after waking up too early in the fucking morning and flip a switch and have an instant, beautiful gas fireplace come on with the fake logs and can't even light a fucking cigarette with the fucking thing because it is behind a plate of glass and your lighter is somewhere in the bedroom so you have to go slam the toaster down like yer mom taught ya forty fucking years ago.

Who are these nanny cocksuckers and where are they so I can cock punch the stupid mother fuckers?

Oh, sure, it's for my safety.

I am positive it is the same bunch of fucking tight asses who won't allow beer commercials to let anyone actually drink fucking beer, because beer is bad for me and I have to wear seat belts, my kids have to wear helmets to ride their bikes or skate boards and god Forbid I don't put my garbage can five feet away from the recycling bin at precisely seven AM on Thursday morning, I even got a note for that shit.

Nanny needs a good stomp in the crotch.

Update, oh FUCK ME I forgot about the cigarettes that go dead now because some fuck head burned his house down and now the fucking cock suckers go out.
Smooth move motherfuckers, try sticking a half smoked cigarette in a fucking toaster some time.
I'm sure there will be a law against that in the works next week.

Now I am lacing up my steel toe'd boots that I have to wear at work and I am coming for your Nancy asses with my safety glasses on and a work permit signed in triplicate.

Enough

As anyone who has ever stopped by here knows, I can be a bit of a dick.
In real life, I am a nice fucking guy, you would be amazed, seriously.

This is my outlet for what goes through my head while I am some times gritting my teeth while being such a nice guy.

On this particular subject, the Republicans concerted effort to use their political power to turn back the clock back before the turn of the century concerning women's rights and especially women's reproductive rights, has caused me to blow a fuse for the language filter and I will start with a huge neon sign, FUCK YOU!!

That being said, I would like to say that if it weren't for women, none of these crazy fucks would be here.

Ya can't help it.



I do believe in evolution and if Frothy Mixture had been born on the West Coast, I can assure you, he would have a different outlook on life.

It seems there are some backwards motherfuckers back East and y'all need to get out the butterfly nets.
Thank goodness, The Mormon decided he has no use for Oregon and cancelled an appearance at a debate here.

Good, fuck head.


This fucking bullshit about Republicans passing laws that declare any woman wanting an abortion having to have an invasive procedure is so off the fucking charts I am wondering if the contrails in the sky might have fucked them up up big time.

Let me be clear here.
No one, and I mean NO ONE, has the fucking authority to legislate personal body invasions for any medical procedure, PERIOD.

In case you don't quite understand what I mean, if you try and pass a law that says I have to have some state sanctioned asshole stick his finger up my ass so I can get condoms, said state sanctioned asshole is going to be in need of some serious dental work, I could give a fuck what law you pass.

I break the fucking law every Goddamned day, watch me.

This wedge issue that has absolutely nothing to do with the current run for President has gotten so fucking far out of hand, I want to get my hands around someones throat.

I have had enough of you ignorant cocksuckers.

You are so adamant about your religion being such an integral part of your publicly political message and doing your damndest to shove it down the throats of everyone in this country because you happen to have a majority of your crazy motherfucking idiot, backwards assed, stupid sonsabitch,creationist Bible Thumping jack ass porn watching fellows yanking the levers of power , you are about to find out what the word Backlash means.

That's right, morons, backlash.

I Highly doubt that any of you are good at Math.

You know,that two plus two thing.

Knowingly pissing off half the population of this country, besides the rest of the world watching you do it, is precisely like the old saying of cutting off your nose to spite your face.

You people are so fucking stupid I would feel sorry for you and donate my pocket change to help someone figure out just what the fuck is wrong with you so we could fund a medical cure for your sorry asses, if it were possible.

Alas, it seems to be out of reach of current medical science, other than euthanasia.

The sun does not orbit a flat earth and yes, the reason there are so many people like you are on the planet is a physical condition involving chemical sequences called hormones, you are not exclusive to this club and your mother is no exception either.

You are, however, exclusive to having been blessed without a few key chemical sequences that involving the development of the human brain, especially the ones crucial to something called abstract thinking.

I actually feel sorry for you because you have no sense of adventure, need rigid guidelines to rule your everyday lives, have to have the same routine every fucking day and it makes me wonder if there is not yet some clinically undiagnosed relation to your thought process and autism.

Before anyone jumps my ass about that last comment, I have a 28 year old autistic boy now and I can certainly see the similarities.

In short, get your fucking Holier than thou, women are subject to my whims bullshit out of our public discourse, get the fuck with the program that we, the people, need to get back to work, quit obstructing every Goddamn thing to prove how "pure" you are and while you are at it, grow the fuck up and when ever you crazy fucks decide this is a great wedge issue in the future, stay the fuck out of my wife's pussy, the guy two states away's daughters pussy, her friends pussy and everyone else who happens to be of the gentler sexes reproductive parts, forever.
Else you will soon see a huge void in your voting results.
Those being not in your favor.

You might also experience some side effects, such as burnt toast for breakfast, no fucking breakfast or dinner and a sudden surge of that dreaded Hawaiian disease, commonly known as "LackAnookie".

Of course, that will just be the one thing to push you over the edge, again.
Burnt toast is just beyond the pale from your female indentured servant.

You will have to get a bigger wrench to super tighten her chastity belt and show her who is boss.

That Didn't Take Long

The same day I shut off that horrible word verification they were back.

I will have to admit that word verification seems to be quite the deterrent to those fuckers but Google HAS to come up with something a lot more user friendly.
The thing that kills me about those asshole spammers is that they tend to target older posts like I ain't going to notice and the chances of anyone else seeing them approaches zero.

Nobody goes through my archives except me and more often than not, I can't even find what I am looking for.
In the mean time, into purgatory they go, every one that I find.

Just once, I would like to meet some jerk who proudly claims he is a spammer face to face.

I'm sure my knuckles would heal eventually.

Miserable sonsabitches need a case of the hives in their crotch and their fucking teeth knocked out so they have to suck soup through a straw for a month.

Look Familiar?

If you are over forty, you will understand what this means...

It is known as "Jumping The Shark".
As in doing something so desperate in public for attention that you have just ended your career doing it.

Welcome to that club and goodbye Mr. Santorum.

"I don't believe in an America where the separation of church and state are absolute," he told 'This Week' host George Stephanopoulos. "The idea that the church can have no influence or no involvement in the operation of the state is absolutely antithetical to the objectives and vision of our country...to say that people of faith have no role in the public square? You bet that makes me want to throw up."

I have no problem with people who have faith, just keep it out of our political process.
That is one of my pet peeves with these outspoken motherfuckers who hide behind their religious beliefs but what REALLY pisses me off is when they want to cram their religious fervor and misinterpretation of what the original intent was to the point of absolute disinclusion of anyone who doesn't have that crazy eyed fervor that they so demand to be included.

Here we go again with these fucking cretins and their ABSOLUTE lack of comprehension when it comes to ANY fucking amendment to The Constitution of these United States of America.

To wit;

The First Amendment (Amendment I) to the United States Constitution is part of the Bill of Rights. The amendment prohibits the making of any law respecting an establishment of religion, impeding the free exercise of religion, abridging the freedom of speech, infringing on the freedom of the press, interfering with the right to peaceably assemble or prohibiting the petitioning for a governmental redress of grievances.

Originally, the First Amendment applied only to laws enacted by the Congress. However, starting with Gitlow v. New York, the Supreme Court has applied the First Amendment to each state. This was done through the Due Process Clause of the Fourteenth Amendment. The Court has also recognized a series of exceptions to provisions protecting the freedom of speech.

Courtesy Wikipedia.

The VERY FIRST amendment sets this issue straight immediately and yet Frothy Mixture says that the guys who spent years framing this document after countless meetings and debates doesn't matter because this is like, 1312 dude, in his feeble little mind.

Go puke your guts out you stupid fucking idiot, keep making yourself sick and get busy getting ready to be castigated and shunned.

Something I am positive Mitt Romney understands.

It's a socio/religious method of getting rid of people they deem to be undesirable in their community.

I do believe you are going to find that the larger community known as America , the land of the free, is getting ready to show you the entrance to a dock with a set of water ski's and a Great White waiting to get jumped.

Personally, I hope you miss, you ain't the Fonz, ahhhhhhy?

Fuck you dude, yer a certifiable moron.

Fuck You Big Daddy Google

Recently, Google decided what was best for us and enabled some weird fucking word verification that no one can fucking read without even as much as a would  ya'?

I know it pissed me off and I went and checked their questions about it page and it is obvious  most every one there is of the same opinion.

Idiots.
If it ain't broke, don't fix it, yet again.
Head, desk, repeat.

Apparently it is their solution to curbing spammers.

What I do know from personal experience, is that it frustrates the living shit out of someone like me who has marginal eyesight.

I CAN"T READ THE FUCKING LETTERS YOU MORONS!!!

Jesus H Fucking Christ.

I know for a fact that I am not the only one.

The end result being that after someone takes the time and effort to leave a comment, even if it is only to tell me to go fuck myself, and gets frustrated with the comment publishing process, they will just say fuck it and NOT SAY ANYTHING!

SOOOOOO, I have two choices here at my own little rant hole, I can either allow spammers free reign and have to go in and manually delete their verbal diarrhea,or, turn off the fucking word verification, which I just did, you are welcome.

For the love of all that is Holy, please, tell me that shit is gone in the now wide open comment section.

Oh, and GOOGLE?

Get your heads out of your collective asses and fix that shit yesterday.

Back to the drawing board boys and girls.

Why I Awlays Hated Chevy's

Stupid sonsabitches ran all the hot wires to the whole car from the starter solenoid.
Like you can slide under a 1980 El Camino in a parking lot.

All because of some fucking vacuum cleaner belts that my mom ordered on line over a month ago, called about last week and never fucking showed up.

I crawled under that fucker with a pocket knife and finally got it to turn over untill my face turned blue.
Unfortunately for me, who ever the crankster gangster who had it before me, when "It" put another motor in it, had no idea that the fucking wiring went right by the exhaust manifoold and all those purty fucking wires done turned into burnt spaghetti..
I completely forgot about this issue and I jumped into the fucker afyer a month and it fired right up.
Two miles away, right in front of the Vacuum cleaner joint and three brand new belts that my Mom ordered a month ago and the fucker wouldn't start.

Laying under that bitch and can't get my head under it, I finally jumped across the starter solenoid and flat out ruined a nice little pocket knife, with the key on.
Crank over until the knife gets too hot to hold onto and nothing happens.

The Lovely wife did not know I took the POS and I was damned if I was going to call her about it, she couldn't do a fucking thing anyway.
I called my buddy, had to piss like a ruptured goat and ran to a restaraunt nearby.
They advertised a Happy Hour and when I asked for a beer, the pretty young thing tells me they don't sell any kind of alcohol.

How do you advertise Happy Hour with Coke, Pepsi and  power aide?



Fuck that, ran across the street, had a quick 7and7 and walked out to see my alternate friend go around the corner.
Pushed the fucking Chevy back, hooked up the tow line and off we went.
Got halfway home and while I was in neutral, hit the key and it fired right up.
Had him pull over, got out, unhooked the bastard and got within a half mile of the house when I went around a corner and  bleh, dead again.

Hooked the fucker up again, had him finish dragging my ass home, introduced him to the wife and here we are.
She isn't exactly thrilled, she does have the new belts and my ugly Chevy is siting out in the street.
The neighbors are already beyond themselves with joy that I start my 67 Ford 3/4 quarter ton 4X4 up  at six thirty that wakes their dead ancestors up every  morning. Did I mention that I am living at my parents house and there is a long line of snooty mother fuckers around here?

Heh, life is good.

Thanks fer stopping by.

Damn, I Just Wore Out A Brand New Tinfoil Hat.

My internet friend, Just An Earthbound Misfit, I, wandered upon an interesting test.
See how many pictures of Cops and Military personnel you can tell the difference between, 21 times.
It is quite telling about what has been the militarisation of our police forces over the past thirty years and amazingly enough, even though I have never been in the military, I not only bested her score,(Navy) 16 out 21, I beat my other pal Gordon,( Marines)14 out of 21 and was beat by Fixer (Air Force)18 out of 21, by one.

Like I said, my tinfoil hat is screwed on a little tight but it seems maybe that ain't such a bad thing after all.

Go ahead, try it yourself.

Tarsjay Strikes Again.

This is a bit inconceivable but apparently true.

Target, the giant fucking big box store, told a teacher, who's students raise money and go buy stuff for a Crisis nursery, fer chrissakes, that they can't come and spend up to two thousand dollars without two weeks notice because of scheduling issues for the tellers, I shit. You. Not.

They can't handle twenty five extra customers all at once.
I have been in one and they are huge.

A snippet from the teachers recollection of her conversation with some complete fucking bitch at Target that she posted on Facebook,

"Well, you can't come in. The schedule is made and I just don't have the cashiers. I need at least two weeks' notice. Sorry," Shelly said, curtly.

"We usually spend over $2000... Would you prefer we head over to Wal-Mart?"

"Hold on." When Shelly returned to the phone, I was told, "Nope. Sorry. We can't accommodate you."

I told her, "It has never been a problem in the past, and we have never given two weeks' notice before."

"Well, actually, it has been a problem, ma'am, because we can't check other guests out when you're here." She replied, with a definite tone rising in her voice.

"So, we can't spend our money there on Friday?"

"No."

"Okaaayy...I suppose we will go somewhere else then. Thank you," and I hung up.

In her letter, the teacher explains that her students don't all rush into the store and go nutso on the shelves. Instead, they do their shopping in groups of four. They also show up at the store at the non-peak time of 8:45 a.m. and are usually done and gone by 11 a.m.

Additionally, the group has a purchase order charge account with Target so as to make the entire buying process easier.

My emphasis because that makes this so much more ridiculous it went off the chart, they aren't even using cash.


Fuuuck you Target, you just shit the bed in my opinion.

Talk about some bad PR, this went national.

I never liked 'em anyway, if you pay cash for something and want to return it, they won't give your money back, they make ya choke on a motherfucking gift card.

Another Fuck You in my book.

I have heard of some dumb shit but these kids have been doing this for five years now and they even got a heads up letter.

My question is ,
who in the fuck who has ever had an ounce of management experience couldn't accommodate these kids?


Ya lazy wench, get your lazy fucking ass behind the fucking cash register yer own self for fucks sake!

Some people just amaze me with their unwillingness to step up to the plate, ESPECIALLY, when it is for charity.

Being Christmas time, babies are involved and little kids have gone out of their way to help them?

Three strikes, you are out.

You can tell Target to kiss my fucking ass and I drive by one of those motherfuckers going and coming to work every fucking day and I can tell you something you can take to the bank, I will never darken their doorsteps again, as if I was going to anyway.

If you would like, you can drop a dime on 'em and tell them just how much you love what they do for the community.
1-800-591-3869

H/T

100,000 RedNeck Dogs Just Heard A loud Whistle

I cannot fucking believe my local paper put this fucking piece of shit, right wing dog whistle motherfucking editorial in their paper without apologizing before hand.

This is so fucking blatant I want to slap someone in the face, namely some right wing authoress named Kathleen Parker,then the editor, twice.


Parker: Gingrich’s sins forgivable to voters.

In the first place, Newt Gingrich is neck and neck with that despicable fucking jerk KKKKarl Rove when it comes to being lying cheating and stealing rotten sonsabitches who should be in jail instead of on television.

Newts escapades are legend.

Way too many to list here.

The fact that this Parker lady is trying to get the rest of us to conveniently forgive and forget all the shit this asshole has pulled in the last thirty years and having it carried by syndication just pisses me the fuck off almost beyond words.

Newt Gingrich is a fucking scumbag of the highest order and wants to be President.

It is to laugh.

Ain't, gonna, happen.

If you thought Cain went down in flames, wait until they turn the microscope on this weasel motherfucker.

Some excerpts from Dame Parker that especially turned my stomach;

Romney may have a more serious problem than is conceivable given the trolley of baggage that Gingrich has to drag around. The largest pieces include: taking huge sums in consulting fees from Freddie Mac; ethics violations from his days as speaker of the House; an extramarital affair with a Hill staffer, his now-wife Callista, while he was trying to impeach Bill Clinton for lying about his extramarital dalliance with an intern. Gingrich’s rise may indicate a populace that considers the nation’s challenges more important than personal foibles. Or, more likely, his surge is an affirmation of the Republican base’s preference for a good ol’ boy from the South rather than an exotic from a vacation reef out in the middle of the ocean.

Get that?

It's my bold because the dog whistle racist undertones just went screaming by like a fucking ambulance siren at full blast.

If you didn't catch that little bit of innuendo, you are a complete fucking moron.

We are not done yet either, the very next sentence,

If exotic got us into this mess, then mightn’t the antidote be a Georgian who knows his way around the Federalist Papers?

Apparently, "exotic" is the new nigger to these people.

They have no sense of shame and try to find a new way to call people who aren't pasty fucking white like that scary looking Calista Gingrich some form of nigger.

Sand nigger, Buck nigger, nigger fucking nigger, these people are stuck in the past, pining to own a couple.
It is beyond disgusting and my local editor high fived some other pasty white asshole and let this shit get printed in my local paper.

Then, the wench goes on to praise old Newtie for being a pious bastard who's most important thing he has ever done was to switch to Catholicism so he can sin without a care in the wold because all he has to do is go to confession, say a few fucking Hail Mary's and he is suddenly pristine again.

Just one more reason he is a contemptible piece of fucking shit.

I will tell you this now, there is no way on earth, other than the Supreme Court assfucking us again, that this man is EVER going to be the President.

Go read the rest of this fucking womans contemptible opinion piece.

After you get done seething at the blatant assholery, you will realize that fact and turn around, pull your britches down and tell her to kiss your ass like I did.

I am still seething that I actually saw this in my local paper but they regularly have that asshole Sowell, and other known Right wing shit disturbers on their editorial page.

I do get to snicker at the dumb fucking bastards though, they spent 13 million dollars having a new building built and had to sell it and move back to their old bunker after two years.

Fuck you, assholes.

Karma is a bitch and so is this idiot Kathleen Parker.

Finally

Three days.
That's how long it took Quest to fix their internet connection.

I figure somebody did the old Backhoe through the cable trick.

In other internet news, those dirty cocksucking mother fucking no good sonsabitches at Verizon struck again.

I swear and I do swear, someone is testing my limits.

After all the bullshit I have put up with those fuckers,after expressly asking them if there were ANY MORE FUCKING CHARGES, I paid those sonsabitches off and told them to go fuck themselves, but no.

No, they had to break one off in my ass as a parting gift.

I got a bill in the mail for 18.99 for two fucking days in their billing period after calling them, paying them and NOT USING their fucking service.

Pissed off?

Oh fuck yes I was pissed off.

Why am I paying for something I didn't use?

I argued with some young lady until I was blue in the face and my wife was telling me to just pay them so we wouldn't have it sent to a collection agency.

I am still livid with those motherfuckers but I finally gave them their blood money and told that girl I wanted a certified letter from those motherfuckers that there would be no further contact.
No letters, no texts, no phone calls, nothing.

Of course, as soon as I hung up, I got a text message thanking me for my payment.
Head, desk, repeat until dizzy.

I never want to hear a god damn thing from Verizon again.

That's when Quest decided to take a shit....

Thank you sir, may I have another...

Christ almighty.

Fuck, REALLY?

Goddamit!
I fucking woke up at three fucking thirty in the morning last night, for no damn good reason and didn't go back to bed until seven, after several shots of whiskey.

Now I am up again at Oh Dark Thirty because some fucking ankle biter of a dog was barking it's fucking head off and I had to get up twice and open the back door to yell at the fucker to shut up.

The sonofabitch ain't in range for a good sling shot to the head either.
 A couple of doors away behind two fucking fences or it would be unconscience like I want to be right the fuck now.
 Apparently the cocksucker got the message finally.

Little motherfucker.

Of course, my dad is completely oblivious and I can hear him snoring away through the wall, God bless his heart.

Where is a fucking Ninja when ya need one?

Oh Yay

I have to drive by Best Buy going back and forth to work so I swung in there to see if my little what the fuck they call it note pad or something was fixed.
Yay!
 The hard drive took a shit.

Lost everything, which I ain't too worried about.

The bad news, the sonsabitches at Best Buy had to replace the hard drive.

Worse news, when I bought it , it had Windows 7 on the fucker and they tell me I gotta call Toshiba and order some "Recovery Discs".

Even better, that little fucker doesn't have a disc drive, so I have to wait a fucking week to get them, pay 25 fucking dollars and then take it back to best Buy to have them installed.

I told the young lady the fucker had Windows on it when I bought it from ya and why in the fuck doesn't it have it now?

Oh no,.
Then I says , you guys have Windows here don't ya?
Yes, but it is two hundred fucking dollars, my words, not hers.
So, get home and spend a half fucking hour with some dude from India, I gotta admit, his accent was Scotty next door until the numbers started getting sent back and forth, then it was obvious.

Now, I get to wait 3 to 5 days for shipping and have to take the fucker back to Best Buy to have the discs transfered to some kind of flash drive and have them get the cocksucker up and running again.

Jesus H. Fucking Christ.

The folks are headed out next week, have some carpet cleaning outfit coming on Thursday and I have to go deal with residual shit at the Weasel Den.


I had to go over there last night and dump off a ten pound bag of cat food.

The dude has moved in, it is completely different inside and he is happy.

BTW, Blogger changed their shit again and can suck my dick and Gaddafi is still dead.

I'm glad someone is....

Attention FaceBook Users.

Get the FUCK off my lawn, RIGHT THE FUCK NOW!!!

Jesus H. Fucking Christ!

OK, you people that I have never met that keep "Answering Questions" about me,


Fuck off and die.

Seriously, it is clogging up my Email and pissing me the fuck off.

I don't know you, you have never sucked my dick that I know of and I wouldn't admit it if I met ya.

Piss off.

This Facebook thing is completely out of control now and I think it just might go the way of my last meal, swirling around the bowl.

What the fuck is Farmville and why should I give a rats ass?

Quit fucking around and get a fucking life, leave me the fuck alone.

Update;

Problem solved.
This is the second time I deleted these sonsabitches and I see they made it a bit more difficult.

I will add you to the list of cocksuckers I won't acknowledge in public.

The Good News

My little Net Book is still under warranty.

The Bad News, I gotta drive clear in to Portland and find this fucking Best Buy place and drop it off and breathlessly await their decision to either fix it or replace it.

I could give a fuck one way or the other, just make it right.

It's not like I have nuclear clearance codes in the motherfucker.

They gave me a "free" antivirus disc that The Wife managed to put into it but it damn sure as hell missed something.

I actually got to talk to the "Geek Squad".

OK Dan, you have in coming pal.

Fix the sumbitch.

Arguing With A Woman Is Like Wiping Yer Ass On A Wagon Wheel

It never ends.

It's like I told a guy, they always get the last word and the next thing you say is a brand spanking new argument.


I gave up on the El Camino, It just wasn't worth it.


I will pick my battles but arguing over a fucking car like that is a waste of time, there are millions of fucking cars out there.

I have better things to do.

She did apologize for hanging up on me and I will be the first to admit I am a Dick but don't expect me to change anytime soon.

I will find that 61 Falcon/ Ranchero I have been wanting and Then the game will be on.

Just fer shits and grins, she tells me she wants the keys to this blog.

Insert insanely maniacal laughter here.

I will set up her own blog but this fucker is mine, all mine, and no, you can't go there.

Honey baby, you can comment here until the cows come home but you are not going to post here, ever, till death do us part.
You, me and this Blog.

Shit, I am still waiting for the Big Black Suburbans to show up at any time and I will be looking for someone to post bail.


I will, however, consider creating a new Blog that we can do together.

If I do, you can damn be sure you want to tune into that, you can rest assured it would be.... entertaining.

Not My Personal Best

Gotta give me credit for trying.
Today was not one of my best.
The truck I tried to fix fucked up less than twenty four hours after I shut the hood.
The guy had some tire store put a winch on the nose of an F-250 and they had to move the power steering cooler, which is what caused the problem with his A/C condenser, the PS tubes rubbed a hole in the side of it because where the winch went was where the cooler was originally and it has some seriously fucked up molded in brackets, which only fit where the winch went in.

They tried to jerry rig it with some tie straps and I tried to re rig it but the new condenser has screws going up both sides and I tried to do it in the truck.
I couldn't see the fucking screws and it kicked the damn thing off at an angle and rubbed a hole in the brand new condenser in less than twenty four hours.

So, after having a couple of smokes and a beer, I dove under the prick on the side of the road and spent two and a half hours and several bucks out of my own pocket , two trips back to the Weasel Den for tools and two trips to the hardware store to re rig it yet again just to get him by until after the wedding.

Nothing like laying on the side of the road in direct sunlight and eighty degree weather, with hot transmission fluid running down your arm, trying to figure out how to fuck some other mechanic to make ya hot, tired, pissed off and thirsty.
I made some changes, had to buy some tubing and clamps, rig up some rubber mounts and curse like a sailor but I am sure he will be able to drive the jacked up thing until after I get married and then I will fix the thing the way it should have been done the first, and second time.

I had no idea what I was getting into when I opened the hood because they have those cute little rubber covers over the front of the truck covering everything up.

I will make it right, at no charge to the guy.
I figure another six hours for a job that should have taken about one.

Live and learn when working on four wheel drives.

Ya can't say I have no morals, at least some anyway.

In the mean time, that whole not smoking thing went away at light speed and for fucks sake, at eighty degrees and already pissed off, you bet yer ass I had a couple of beers.
I had to wrap a towel around my bald assed head to keep the sweat from blinding me every twenty seconds.

I told The Wife I would be sober at the wedding, she had better fucking hope I don't have to work on any God damned rigs on the way there, we will both be late because I will walk first.

Yet Another Great Post By Someone Else

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Two Fingers Up

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Yo, Eh, Fixer, Gordon,Bob,Get a Load Of This Ignorant Fucking DoucheBag.

,This is just so fucking typical.
 Get the fuck away from me you ignorant sonofabitch, before I open the drawer with all the pretty hammers.

Ya wonder why I am all done with this after thirty fucking years.

If you think for one second that this is a parody, I can absolutely tell you for a fact, I have had quite a few, very short, conversations exactly like this in the past..
 Back in the day, I was just as ignorant about vehicles. I can remember the day someone asked me to hand them a grease gun and I had no Idea what the fuck he was talking about.
I certainly could not afford to pay anyone to fix my broke down fucked up pieces of shit cars that I was buying for a hundred bucks.

Ya wanna know what?
I went and bought Chiltons manuals, bought a ton eighty of beerto pay for badly needed help  and begged some of the best for advice and to borrow a tool here and there.I don't call myself Bustednuckles for any small reason, I learned the fucking hard way. I also went to the school of hard knocks and over the last thirty years spent about eighty fucking grand on tools and roll away tool boxes.
I have seen what lies underneath the skin more than some doctors and bled a lot of of my precious blood,sometimes to excess.

I have worked with  broken arms, wrists, thumbs and ankles.
Doctors some time they think they are pretty smart. When I come in for stitches on my thumb or other digit an you put in three and tell me to go home?
I tell you to put in six because I am going to work in the morning.
This is a true story.


They get pissed off at ya! Excuse the shit out of me, I got a living to make here, and a fucking Snap On payment, every. mother. fucking. week. Oh, by the fucking way, now I gotta pay you too.
At one time, I was paying more for tools than I was for a fucking house payment.
I was damn humble when I needed help and I had been wrenching on things since before I hit puberty.

You come into a shop like the  arrogant cocksucker below and you will be damn lucky the guys from the tow company will show up to pull it out of the lot next week.
Ya see, like you have heard your whole life, it's who ya know.
Shoot, someone parked four damn cars in front of yours and we can't find the keys.
Called in sick today too.

Let me give you a piece of advice you would be wise to pass on to your children;
Don't piss off your mechanic, your doctor, your girlfriend,your carpenter,electrician, plumber  your Mom or your fucking Lawyer. as  a matter of fact, don't be rude to anyone who performs any kind of service for you.
  I will give bonus points to the next person that tips the gas station attendant that stands out in the weather all day and night like you do that big titted bar maid, I do. Been there, done that, in a Blizzard, on Christmas Day.I know, hard to find a big titted bar maid pumping gas in a blizzard on Christmas, you get my point
I have fixed more fucked up shit for free than I can remember, I can also remember shit like this that got you to call a cab than I give a rat fuck about.

 Now, to see what inspired this little rant;


Yeah, right at the end there, I would be showing that fucking dumbass where the chrome muffler bearing fits with the high flow squeegie sharpener.
That and the door, I like my hammers too much to waste them on something like that.
Ignorance and humility will be miles ahead of stupidity and arrogance in my book, every fucking time.

I know of what I speak, ten fucking years at a Lincoln dealer. There are some arrogant mother fuckers in those places.

Sorry, your parts are on back order Maam.