Monday, January 30, 2012

Just Ignore That Unholy Howling You Hear

It is just all the Demons in Hell celebrating my birthday, fifty two years ago.

As I recall from my Birth Certificate, I was born at 2:10 AM on January 31st, 1960.

That was a long time ago.
Just about the time the Oakland Raiders came into being too.
Of course, having been shat out in Oakland, ya damn well know I have been a Raiders fan my entire life.

No Color television, no remotes even, I WAS the remote, No Microwave ovens.
The Russians had just kicked our asses with Sputnik too.

No Radial tires,just one Ornery little fucking baby screaming into the void, just like I do now.
Some things just never change, I still love boobs too.

I seriously thought I would never live to see thirty way back when and now here I am still.

I must be more resilient than I imagined.
I crashed and/or totalled 29 cars in ten years in my early years and I pay for that shit every day but you can bet your ass I have some good stories to tell.

Thanks fer stopping by and have a shot for me, ya know damn good and well I will.

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Someone You Should Read, Seriously

Take a gander of what this guy points out, oh, so well.

It is to my discredit that I have not pointed him out far sooner, maybe my guilty pleasure.
Please let me introduce to you, Grung E Gene, from Disaffected and It Feels So Good.

Please take a moment and let what he said sink in.

Tell him Busted sent ya too.

He has been on Ye Olde Blogroll for quite a while now.

Ya Gotta Love The Internet

I finally got around to changing the belt on my Moms Kirby vacuum cleaner.

I got in the closet and drug the sonofabitch out, sat down and realized there were some parts missing.
I got back in the closet and drug out anything remotely looking like vacuum cleaner parts and sat back down.
I sat and stared at the fucking thing for a good full minute, trying to figure out what I was going to have to get to put it back together..
I mean, I know there were pieces but it wasn't real obvious how it went back together.

I kinda figured it out but wasn't quite sure how to proceed..
Enter Google.

I typed in Kirby Belt Replacement Procedure and Viola!

The fourth line down hooked me up with a Youtube
In less than three minutes it was back up and running with ZERO tools involved.

Ya gotta fucking love that shit.

Even better, there was some strangely compelling weird tune in the back ground;

This isn't the first time I have hit the web looking for instructions by any means either.
There is the compilation of the total of humanities knowledge on the web, ya just gotta know how to find it.

Saturday, January 28, 2012

Pot Calls Kettle Black

Er, wait, that didn't come out right.

Speaking of Right, the current Greek Tragedy of the Republican nomination process just took a turn I would never, ever expect to see.

After all, Newt is a master of the racist dogwhistle.

Desperate, are we?

Myself, I am a lily white fella from Irish descent and if I were to meet Newt face to face, one of us would walk away with a slight discoloration under one or both eyes.

The fact that Cain had to suck it up so far as to have to endorse this fucking scumbag only highlites the obvious fact that the Republican party makes the San Andreas fault look like a straight edge.

Face it, the Republicans have done nothing lately except shoot themselves in the foot and I am all about buying another box of rounds to help them on their way.

I don't know about Herman Cain but I still have a shred of dignity.

I Still miss this fucking guy, NSFW

One of the funniest motherfuckers I have ever seen in my entire life, bar none.
The man pulled no punches.

RIP Richard.

Friday, January 27, 2012

To The Moon, Alice

Forgive me for remebering that classic line from The Jackie Gleason Show but now I am hearing that the Crazy Fuck known as Newt Fucking Gingrich promises us he will colonize the moon if elected President.

In light of all of our economic woes, I fully and completely back this outrageous idea.
As long as every fucking crazy Republican candidate is on board the first rocket.

Start with the current crop of Republican candidates for President, including Newtie and you have my most sincere backing of this project. Rush Limbaugh can actually be co pilot as long as he doesn't touch any buttons or switches.
As a matter of fact, I will donate some of my hard earned cash and start an internet pledge drive to helpfully fund his dream.

Once they arrive, I move to cut all funding and turn our attention back to our current economic concerns so we can actually make some progress without The Party of No being around to fuck things up.
It is a matter of record that these fucking clowns can break a cast iron anvil with a rubber mallet anyways.

Start fueling that rocket.

Thursday, January 26, 2012

I'm A Lucky Dude.

It's nice to have friends.
My buddy Steve showed up and used his Chrysler mini van with plastic bumpers to push that old Chevy around , backwards, forwards, into the drive way and into the garage head first where I can jack the fucker up and get under it.

Bonus, he is the shit, he brought me some jack stands too.

Double bonus points, my buddy and his partner in crime Tim showed up to make sure it happened.

Thank you very much fella's.
It's nosed in  so I can get to the wiring and the starter and I didn't have to have everyone and their
niece go out in the street and get the fucker in the garage again.

You would think I could write myself a note not to drive the bastard, now I don't need one.

My pal is upset that I let myself talk him out of this thing.
He is upset I have so many problems.

I am a big boy and I knew what I was getting into.
Imagine an old Chevy that gets twice the mileage of my old Ford, drives like a car instead of a tank  and still goes like a scalded cat.

Yes, I am a stubborn fucker, my wife still hates the ugly bastard but it is beyond the point of no return now.

I have way too much into it now, which is typical of my narrow ass but I actually like driving it when it works.

I WILL, fix this ugly old fucker and I Will enjoy it, eventually.

Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Why I Awlays Hated Chevy's

Stupid sonsabitches ran all the hot wires to the whole car from the starter solenoid.
Like you can slide under a 1980 El Camino in a parking lot.

All because of some fucking vacuum cleaner belts that my mom ordered on line over a month ago, called about last week and never fucking showed up.

I crawled under that fucker with a pocket knife and finally got it to turn over untill my face turned blue.
Unfortunately for me, who ever the crankster gangster who had it before me, when "It" put another motor in it, had no idea that the fucking wiring went right by the exhaust manifoold and all those purty fucking wires done turned into burnt spaghetti..
I completely forgot about this issue and I jumped into the fucker afyer a month and it fired right up.
Two miles away, right in front of the Vacuum cleaner joint and three brand new belts that my Mom ordered a month ago and the fucker wouldn't start.

Laying under that bitch and can't get my head under it, I finally jumped across the starter solenoid and flat out ruined a nice little pocket knife, with the key on.
Crank over until the knife gets too hot to hold onto and nothing happens.

The Lovely wife did not know I took the POS and I was damned if I was going to call her about it, she couldn't do a fucking thing anyway.
I called my buddy, had to piss like a ruptured goat and ran to a restaraunt nearby.
They advertised a Happy Hour and when I asked for a beer, the pretty young thing tells me they don't sell any kind of alcohol.

How do you advertise Happy Hour with Coke, Pepsi and  power aide?

Fuck that, ran across the street, had a quick 7and7 and walked out to see my alternate friend go around the corner.
Pushed the fucking Chevy back, hooked up the tow line and off we went.
Got halfway home and while I was in neutral, hit the key and it fired right up.
Had him pull over, got out, unhooked the bastard and got within a half mile of the house when I went around a corner and  bleh, dead again.

Hooked the fucker up again, had him finish dragging my ass home, introduced him to the wife and here we are.
She isn't exactly thrilled, she does have the new belts and my ugly Chevy is siting out in the street.
The neighbors are already beyond themselves with joy that I start my 67 Ford 3/4 quarter ton 4X4 up  at six thirty that wakes their dead ancestors up every  morning. Did I mention that I am living at my parents house and there is a long line of snooty mother fuckers around here?

Heh, life is good.

Thanks fer stopping by.

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

That Was A Complete Waste Of Electrons.

See the previous post, I fell alseep about ten minutes in.

So much for great oratory.


Maybe Later.

I need a shower and a shave in the worst way and I sure as shit hope that ain't my feet I smell, I think the cat has been rolling in something in the back yard.
Been working, been busy, been tired.

I asked the beauty to tune in the State of The Union on an alternate television because I am a nice fucking guy but I want to see it after all the goat fucking I have been exposed to lately, a jack ass would be a nice change.

We shall see if I have anything coherent to say later or if I call Bullshit after an Ass fucking and the requisite Pig Fuckers who can never quit running their mouths and kissing and telling.

Sunday, January 22, 2012

This Is Why You Can't Have A Fucking Job

AP)  PANAMA CITY, Panama — A company expanding the Panama Canal has settled a strike by 6,000 workers that had paralyzed work for six days.

The multinational consortium Grupo Unidos por el Canal says in a news release that the workers have agreed to a 13 percent wage increase and will return to work on Monday.

Union representative Saul Mendez says workers are not completely happy with the deal raising hourly pay to about $3.34 an hour, but still made important advances. The workers had been seeking a pay raise to as much as $10 an hour.

The company already had agreed to meet worker demands to cover delayed overtime and weekend pay. It blamed bookkeeping errors for the delay.

What this article doesn't mention, is that this project is a FIVE POINT TWO BILLION Dollar project, that will divert shipping from West Coast ports like L.A. and these fucking scumbags were paying some workers as little as two fucking fifty an hour for serious labor and had not even bothered to do that because of "book keeping errors".

Yeah, right.

This project would cost fifty times as much if they had to pay a living wage in this country,
which is why they pay these busting ass  men and women shit wages, because they can and they do.

How much you want to bet the safety and well being of these hard working people is least and last on their agenda?

It is to laugh and cry real tears that this bullshit is allowed to happen.

I am still thankful and have days when I hate getting up to a job that I am daily learning about and there is no doubt I am going to die broke but at least I make enough of a wage that I don't have to eat
rice and beans and every little varmint pieces I can get my hands on.

People in this country have been programmed by the oh, so, compliant media to distrust unions.

It goes against the old saying ,"strength in numbers"

So, take heart my fellow wage slaves, at least we don't have to worry about contracting Malaria for three fucking bucks an hour.

Really Baltimore?

Fourth and six, three points down in a Championship game,three minutes left, you  use a time out and instead kicking a motherfucking field goal to tie it up and possibly go into overtime, instead, you opt to go for it.
Idiots .
Then ya get down to the last of the game and actually try to tie it up annnnnnd no.
Missed the fucking field goal.

There is a coach who should unemployed before I get done typing this sentence.

I did love that tipped in the end zone interception though.
I would give that play of the year.

Now onto the Giants VS The Niners game.

Fuck the Niners.
Even though I should root for the fuckers, they are across the bay from my birthplace, Oakland and I actually worked in "The City" for a time.
Fuck them anyway.

Damn you Raiders too.
You suck.

Time to grab another beer and watch some fucking football.

Thanks fer stopping by.

Saturday, January 21, 2012

My Heart Bleeds For These Cocksuckers At Goldman Sachs

Wahh, they aren't getting obscene bonuses this year.
Some are not getting any at  all.

The fucking horror.
"It's a bloodbath," a midlevel Goldman Sachs employee said in an interview with CNBC. "One girl was actually crying, I think," another Goldman employee said according to the report.
Some first-year Goldman analysts received $40,000 bonuses, and some second-year analysts received bonuses between $40,000 and $56,000, according to Dealbreaker. Business Insider notes that these bonuses can amount to half of these junior bankers' base salaries.
In fact, some Goldman Sachs bankers and traders learned that they were taking home no bonuses at all, the Wall Street Journal reports. And on top of that, the firm halved the total pay of some partners -- the company's highest-level employees -- while some traders got hit even harder.

I have never made forty grand in one year  in my whole life of busting my ass, my body and my knuckles.

Cry me a fucking river.

I am thankful I have a fucking job at all in theses times and at my age and at four months now, I am still employed by a temporary agency.

Crying about a forty grand bonus will get you exactly one well used grease rag around here to wipe your tears away, after I blow my nose in it.

Courtesy of Huffpo,who needs a swift kick in the nuts lately.

Friday, January 20, 2012

Rest In Peace Baby

I was so saddened to see the passing of Etta .

Dayum, that woman could make a dead man pay attention.

Get after it baby.

If Ya Can't Stand The Heat, Get Out Of the Kitchen Newt

Sorry, my Irony meter started spinning like a gyroscope when I saw this one.

Newt rips into the media for questioning him about allegations by his second wife that he asked for an open marriage because he was dicking Calista while he was married and howling like a wolf at the moon about Bill Clinton's affair with the famous blue dress at the same time..


The hubris burns.

What do you say to something like that on National television?

Fuck you?

I would.
Fuck you Newt, ya lying, cheating whore hound sonofabitch would be accurate.

The balls of this guy, really?
It has been widely reported that he asked for a divorce from his then wife while she lay in a hospital bed trying to fight cancer, this would be the same wife, while in the hospital, that he had the fucking nads to ask if it was OK if she didn't mind if he was fucking some rich, younger lady  whom just happened to be the heir to the Budweiser fortune.

Apparently,he asked her if it would be just peachy if he could stay married and bang Calista too.
Gee, I wonder what she REALLY said to that...

I used to drink so much Bud, when I quit, they had to shoot three of those Clydesdales because they couldn't afford to fed the poor things.

Back to Newt.
I am seeing some serious dog whistle bullshit come out of his mouth because he was in South nigger hating Carolina.

See how that works for ya as you have to campaign in places like, anywhere else.

I'll be damned if I am going to give those ignorant fucks another mention.

To recap, Newt was mortified that some propaganda repeater, they used to be called reporters,
had the inexcusable gall to call him out on his hypocrisy and hit the fainting couch about a subject he was, at the time, excoriating a sitting President for doing the same damn thing, at the same damn time.

There are so many other things that Newt Fucking Gingrich can be proven to be piously doing a double standard about that my  fucking head spins to the impossible fact that any reasoning individual with an IQ above my shoe size is even considering to elect this cancerous growth on our electoral process to the highest office in the land and that makes me want to gag.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Natural Selection Rules!

Those idiot birthers that,cain't have no black folks around and general deniers of scientific theory, specifically those who think the Earth is only six thousand years old, flat and don't believe in evolution can now kiss my fucking ass on Main street at High Noon .
Have a nice dose of Darwinism.

The theory of evolution is that certain species adapt to environmental stimuli to beat out and adapt physically, the nearest competitor, for either food, intelligence, shelter or sex to propagate their immediate family line.

See exhibit A below.

Do I give a shit if she can tie her shoes?
Do I give a shit whether or not she progenerates with my seed and has the ultimate heirs?

Fuck no.

That must be exactly what Rick Perry's dad was thinking too.
Would I beat the shit out of Rick Perrys' dad to make sure she didn't have any little Rick Perry's?

Answer that yourself.

Hownthe fuck that moron got elected as a Governor of anything besides a portable toilet is beyond my grasp of reality.

Yet, here the man was on national tee vee, spouting stupid shit that just makes you shake your head and makes you want to go to the bathroom to wipe your ass because it feels really nasty when you realize their is shit running down the inside of your left leg at work.

Fear not, the process of Natural selection has just relieved us all of such a nightmare of someone dumber that Stupie McFuckwit, also from Texas, from being elected Idiot In Chief.
I am now rooting for a big bus and Newt having a meeting on the corner of Main and Good Night.

So long dick head and happy trails, all the way into a collection of barrel cactus and get naked honey,,

Take That, Ya Sonsabitches!

We might not be the 99%er's, but we can seriously deliver a swift kick in the balls when it counts.

Some folks woke up holding theirs in their hands this morning.

When ya piss off Google and Wikipedia, people stand up and take notice. Especially some craven fucking asshole politicians.

Us wee little Bloggers might not have made that much of a difference but if ya don't hang together, ya hang separately, so I have heard.

It is of vital interest that the internet remains neutral, even if there are some bad things going on.

God knows I have had more than one computer get dead with a fucking virus.
Those people need to be hunted down and eviscerated on national television, fucking dicks.

Like someone famous once said, life isn't fair.

I will tell you what got their attention,
If outfits like Google shut down completely, even voluntarily, for one fucking day, the world as we know it would come to a stand still and someone finally pointed that out to those ignorant fucks in Congress.

If you took a stand, take a bow.

It's called Democracy and it can happen so fast in this day and age it will make your fucking head spin.

Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Fuck You, You Rotten Motherfuckers ,Goodnight SOPA

Damn, I Just Wore Out A Brand New Tinfoil Hat.

My internet friend, Just An Earthbound Misfit, I, wandered upon an interesting test.
See how many pictures of Cops and Military personnel you can tell the difference between, 21 times.
It is quite telling about what has been the militarisation of our police forces over the past thirty years and amazingly enough, even though I have never been in the military, I not only bested her score,(Navy) 16 out 21, I beat my other pal Gordon,( Marines)14 out of 21 and was beat by Fixer (Air Force)18 out of 21, by one.

Like I said, my tinfoil hat is screwed on a little tight but it seems maybe that ain't such a bad thing after all.

Go ahead, try it yourself.

Monday, January 16, 2012

Sick Day

I'm not sure but the wife is convinced I got a dose of something from the brand new fry pans I got her.
I ate the first meal of bacon and eggs.
They tasted fine but she swears that pan smelled funny as it got hot, like it was out gassing something.

They are those fancy green non stick (HA!) fry pans they advertise on tee vee.

Anyway, went to bed about ten and woke up at twelve thirty and that was all she wrote.

I don't think I ever did go back to sleep.

I tossed and turned, had visual images tearing through my mind at high speed and then started getting clammy and sweating to the point the sheets got damp.

I laid there dreading having to get up and go to work with no sleep all night and after a seeming eternity, the alarm finally went off and I got up.

I felt like shit but got up to get dressed.
I made it ten feet out of the bedroom when the dry heaves hit.

That lasted long enough for me to decide I wasn't going anywhere.

I texted a co worker,no one answers the phone at work at 6 AM apparently so I left a voice mail for my boss and went back to bed.

Been there pretty much ever since but I did finally drift off about 7:30 and slept hard for an hour.
I would wake every hour for a minute then crash hard.
After about eleven I finally went down hard until about one,got up and took two drags off a cigarette and went back to bed.

I have been up about ten minutes, long enough to see it is snowing like crazy and the wife getting ready to haul ass to the store for some last minute shit.
I mean it is really coming down out there.

I still have half a headache and am still tired but if want to get any sleep tonight I don't dare go back to bed.

Thanks fer stopping by.

Friday, January 13, 2012

Happy Birthday Baby!

Today is The Wife's Birthday, she turned Fifty today.

She is a good looking woman with a very fine figure and she puts up with my shit really well.

I am waiting for her to get changed, I bought her a gift certificate for Christmas and she went to the spa and got all dolled up today.

As if she wasn't hot enough, ooooh, la la!
I am one lucky bastard.

Sorry, no pictures for the pervs out there, this is all mine.

Anyway,I got her a big assed Garnet ring that matches the necklace I got her for Christmas,it is her birthday stone and both are quite pretty as she is.

Going out to dinner somewhere here shortly, there are many choices to pick from within a couple of miles. Absolutely no Sea Food for her, Me? I love a good steak but surf and turf with crustaceans is my favorite.

Can you keep a secret?

I have a surprise birthday party going on tomorrow that, so far, she doesn't have a clue about yet.

If you would be so kind, please wish my honey a Happy Birthday.

She is a damn good woman .

In the mean time, thanks fer stopping by.

Wednesday, January 11, 2012

My Response to the Republican Primaries

The short translation,
Oh Fuck No!

I could give a rats ass who does what when it comes to this goat rodeo anyway.

Spend yer monies, knock the crazies and stupid fucks out on the corner on yer way to the next primary and let me know when the biggest fucking hypocrite with the deepest pockets emerges as the apparent winner in your little circle jerk is and then go the fuck away.

Go for the throat kitty!

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

The World As You Know It Is Coming To An End

Want proof the World Wide Economic Crisis is still in full bloom?

England is telling Scotland they are on their own.

LONDON -- Breaking up is supposed to be hard to do – but Britain's government confirmed Tuesday it would happily offer Scotland the powers it needs to sever centuries-old ties to England.

Prime Minister David Cameron's government said it would sweep away legal hurdles to allow the Scots a vote on whether their country should become independent for the first time since the 18th Century Act of Union, which united Scotland with England to create Great Britain.

The end of the British Empire, officially.

Don't hold your breath when Northern Ireland and even Wales get the same offer.

In the mean time, I see Washington D.C. wants to become the 51'st state, yet again.

Good luck with that, they can't even afford caviar in the White House every other Thursday.

If William Wallace could find enough body parts to get his hands on both of his balls, there would be a huge party in Scotland.
Apparently, I am only Double Irish because my ancestors got driven out of Scotland back in the day.

It gives me a visceral grin to see Britain have to give up skimming all the sixpense and Quid from the Scots in taxes and have to cut the cord to save their own asses because of the few greedy bastards who are in cahoots with the greedy fucking bastards on this side of the pond.

The Scots are in a tragedy financially but if they can gain independence and survive financially, there will be Hell to pay.

Hell.To Pay.

If Greece can pull it out, sure as shit, the Scots can and like I just said, there will be economic warfare coming to London such as they have not seen since the Blitzkreig of 42.

Two Down

Who do I have to thank for this unexpected turn of events?

First, Pat Buchanan got thrown under the bus and now little missy Bristol Palin can't take the heat of the scoundrels in Hollywood and Bailed out back to Alaska to take a job as a receptionist at a Dermatologists office.


What happened to those lucrative thirty thousand dollar a pop speaking gigs?

The glitz, the fame and fortune?

Give that all up to be a reception desk jockey?

Oh, it's all about the kid say's she

Of course, Levi is still persuing his dream job, doing jack shit, avoiding her at all costs and not paying a dime in child support.

It's hard for me to feel sorry for the little twit, it's not like her mom, Caribou Barbie, didn't rake in twelve million bucks a couple of years ago.
I don't see any food stamp applications coming from her any time soon.

I am just tickled to my core that there is one more publicity whore off the market,literally. Especially when it has anything to do with the ultimate Grifter from the Republican party.

It has been exceptionally nice and quiet when it comes to the Wench from Wasilla.

Apparently she got the message that she doesn't have a snowballs chance in the still warm rectum of a reindeer's ass that she just shot out of a helicopter that she will ever, ever,
hold high office in this country, ever again.

Two down, now for Meghan McCain to go the fuck away.

Saturday, January 07, 2012

A Re Post

Grab your headphones, a beer and your balls.

JP turned me onto these guys from Iraq a couple of years ago and for some damn reason this tune started going through my head at work the other day.
Do yourself a favor and go read the back ground on these guys.
In the middle of Stupie McFuckwits war, they were cranking out some serious tunes.

Remember, I have to wear ear plugs because of all of the heavy machinery going full blast and I can tend to let my mind wander at times when I am just standing around for a few minutes.

Sometimes I find myself hearing the strangest music in my head out of the blue but I always really liked these guys from Iraq.

Be patient, wait for the first minute and then it starts to get good. With a decent set of headphones, tune into the drummer dude, he is off the fucking charts.
You can obviously hear the Middle East influence in their music and they turn it into serious Rock and Roll.

About 2:45 in, they make Metallica sound like a virgin caught with a dick in her mouth.

Beware, there be heavy metal in these here parts and I have listened to this so many times I am starting to think there is something wrong with me, like you haven't noticed.
Damned if I know why but once or twice a year I have to have a serious medical sized dose of Metal music. Intensive care treatment.
Feed the Beast kind of thing.
Part of what keeps me Ornery I guess.

Thanks JP, this is a winner.

Friday, January 06, 2012


As if there isn't enough in real life, the wife likes to watch soap operas, just for fun, my Dad watches the same ones she does.

I know enough Drama Queens personally that all I have to do is pick up the phone and I can skip an entire season after a fifteen minute phone call, seriously.

Apparently, there is a 24 hour Soap Opera channel I was blissfully unaware of until recently.

Even worse, there are people on some of these soaps I even recognize from decades ago.

Some have aged well, some look like road kill.

Some are little punk assed kids who couldn't act their way out of a wet paper bag too.

To each their own I suppose but I would rather watch the Food Channel, or paint dry.

The wife stays up until one or later in the morning watching this crap.

Thankfully, I tend to fall asleep in my chair long before that.

The thing with Soaps is that you can quit watching them for six months and come back and not miss a fucking thing.
They drag shit out to the point of absurdity.

I remember twenty five years ago, there was a wedding on one of those sonsabitches that took a year and a half before there was a kiss and the honeymoon took another six months.

That was when I had my lower back fused in a five hour operation and was bed ridden for several months and went stir crazy with nothing to do.

Yeah, I had nothing better to do and that was all that was on all fucking day.
Even Oprah wasn't around back then.

I still hate that fucker Victor and that bastard is still around after all these years.

Some things never change.

You go dude.

Thursday, January 05, 2012

How Many Of These Things Do I Have To Go Through In One Week?

Jack Abramoff critiques OWS, Republicans’ media exposure in Yahoo News interview
Ya gotta read this to believe it, Jack Abramoff,prison time for corruption, says he wants to "advise" The OWS protesters.

Jesus H. Fucking Christ, the man has balls.

I wouldn't trust that rotten fucker to help my Grandmother across the street without a gun to his head.

Prior to his 2006 guilty plea for conspiracy, mail fraud and tax evasion in schemes that brought down lawmakers, lobbyists and Hill staffers, Abramoff hobnobbed with the most elite Washingtonians.

That's right,
The former felon, who served three and a half years in prison for corruption, including bribing public officials, is promoting a new book, Capitol Punishment: The Hard Truth About Corruption From America's Most Notorious Lobbyist, which offers an autobiographical account of his rise and fall while also presenting a prescription for cleaning up Washington.

Go read the whole thing and if you have the stomach, watch the video.

All I have to say to him is that he can go fuck himself.

Wednesday, January 04, 2012

To The Crux Of The Buiscit

Lets get down and go after the cocksuckers who are ultimately responsible for the fucking shit sandwich we live every fucking day.
Protesters affiliated with the Occupy Wall Street movement say they have filed paperwork with the National Park Service seeking permission to demonstrate on the National Mall on Jan. 17 in an event billed by the group as “Occupy Congress.” However, a spokeswoman for the National Park Service said that they had not yet received the application.

The application was posted online Tuesday by applicants listed as “Occupy Congress and Occupy DC,” and with McPherson Square listed as as the applicant’s address. “Peaceful 1st Amendment demonstrations, including holding signs and group speaking”is the stated purpose.

Fuck the Supreme Court, the only reason those fucking cocksuckers have a say in any damn thing is because Congress passed some bullshit they shouldn't have.

Occupy them, make them extremely uncomfortable to the point they hide their bought fucking asses and bring on the Media.

Tuesday, January 03, 2012

Romney, Frothy, Neck And Neck In Iowa

Frothy with a huge COME back.

Best news of the day,

And Texas Gov. Rick Perry, running in fifth, said late Tuesday that he would return to Texas to consider whether his campaign would continue.

Fly past Go, do not collect 200 bucks and roll off the runway into the Gulf at high speed.

Frothy Mess comes in second?


I will leave that alone for now.

There is a pair to draw to.

No mention of Crazy Lady.

Dammit, I wanted her to take a ton of votes.

Dammit Newt, Ya Broke it!

I want a new one ,it seems, every damned day lately.

I almost choked when I read this one

Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich insisted on Tuesday that that fellow candidate Mitt Romney was a "liar," but could support him over Barack Obama if the former Massachusetts governor became the eventual Republican nominee.

At a Monday campaign event, Gingrich had complained about Romney refusing to speak out against attack ads being aired by a pro-Romney Super PAC.

"Here is my simple tag line: Somebody who will lie to you to get to be president will lie to you when they are president," Gingrich told supporters.

In an interview Tuesday morning, CBS correspondent Norah O'Donnell asked Gingrich if he was calling Romney a "liar."

"Yes," Gingrich replied.

My Bold and his too.
He is a bold, I mean Bald Faced fucking liar.
Newt has stuck his forked tongue out so many times over the years it takes a career lying assed politician with the attention span of a flea and the mentality of a Bull in a China shop to make a statement like that on National television..

What he don't break, he shits on.

Thanks for the inspiration, Squatlo.

The beauty of it all is that he is breaking Ronny Rayguns ultimate rule, Republicans don't attack fellow Republicans.

Excuse me while I have a shot and laugh until my sides hurt.

I haven't looked at any results from the Iowa primary yet but I will stick my little pecker neck out and predict Newtie just went down in flames.


Go have a nice "Santorum Salad" and don't forget to wipe your face, asshole.

Brush your fucking teeth too, everything that comes out of your mouth smells like Bullshit.

Monday, January 02, 2012

Cover Your Eyes, My Delicate Flowers

The rest of you sick fucking bastards, line up and get ready to laugh your fucking Asses Off at the ignorance on display here.

For those of you who have led a sheltered life, let me just point out how fucking hilarious this is.

First, we have a Santorum.
Not the idiot dumbfuck, the Brilliant,huge Fuck You, that has followed this fucking idiot around the internet for years now.
Brilliant being an understatement.

Google it, I fucking dare ya.
Never mind, ya fucking pussies, let me do it for ya;

Santorum (san-TOR-um) n.
1. The frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter
that is sometimes the by-product of anal sex.

If you are not long on the internets, you might not know this, now you do, this is internet gold.

It has been to Mars and back, it is so funny.
Talk about a google bomb, that made Nagasaki look like a fire cracker.

Next up, for you new initiates, is "Tossing Your Salad".

DO NOT! Click that link if you are a repressed, right wing homophobe or have serious issues with sexual practices other than the Missionary position and can't stand thinking of anyone, anywhere, performing sexual acts that conflict with your strict upbringing.

If you can hang, then the irony of some stupid rednecked idiot from Iowa renaming his Chicken salad, " Santorum Salad" should cause your Irony Meter to go around and around like a Merry Go Round on Amphetamines and cause every one who knows the joke to write in and give it a really nice review.



Ya just can't make this shit up.

I wonder if it comes with a big pickle on the side?

It must have some really, really, "Creamy", dressing....

OK, I gotta stop now, this could get deliciously disgusting.

Pretty Soon, My Buddy Gord Is Going To Kill My Ass.

God Bless him,he finds the funniest shit.

I can't begin to count how many gallons of beer that have been through my sinuses over the years.

Here we go again, he found another funny...

The money quote from Kim Jong UN, the new supreme leader of North Korea in a letter to us, the morons wandering the streets looking for a New Messiah.

Here is why I am writing to you today: on Tuesday, you will go to your caucuses and choose from among a field of Republican presidential candidates. And let me tell you, the idea of any of these people getting nuclear weapons scares the shit out of me.

Oh fuck me, go read the whole thing while I find another towel and the Windex.

Damn you Gord, I just got this new laptop for Christmas and here ya are,breaking it in right for me..
Happy New Year.