Get Out Of My Way, I Need Some More Cheap Shit Right Now

Really?

I went to the likker store and retreated to the garage for an hour or two.

looks like I am lucky to get home unscathed....

what seems to be a burgeoning Black Friday tradition, reports of violence erupted throughout the country.

Authorities in Los Angeles say that 20 people suffered minor injuries at a local Walmart when a woman used pepper spray on them to get to the front of the line when the store opened Thursday evening.

Police in Fayetteville, N.C. are hunting for two suspects after gunfire went off early Friday in the Cross Creek Mall.

At a Walmart in upstate New York, a man was arrested after two women were injured in a fight that broke out.




The one thing I can say is that stupid bitch spraying people to get more shit to carry out is damn lucky someone didn't knock her clear the fuck out and then get trampled to death.

And people wonder why I hate this time of year.

Fuck that shit.

Gift cards, go get what the hell you want, after the crazy people are either in jail or fighting to get to the return desk.

We are surrounded by complete fucking idiots.

Expect more on this subject, the wife loves this time of year and I despise it.

Despise being a mild term for what I think about this complete fucking insanity.

If Bah, Humbug just went through your mind, have a fucking cookie.

I do, however, always donate to the bell ringers.

I Survived

Some younger folks are lucky they did too.

Gahh!
The fit throwing and sniveling I have put up with the last few days has damn near put me over the edge.

I finally stopped it cold, twice.
You are done now, shut your mouth I am totally serious.

I mean shit, after a half hour, forty five minutes of listening to this twelve year old boy bitch, moan and complain, throw hissy fits and tantrums, I am severely temted to yank him by the back of his neck and drag him to the nearest wood shed.

I got ahold of him a couple weeks back when he ran his alligator mouth one too many times after I had told him to shut up. Back talking his Mom put me over the edge. One of those little brats that always has to have the last word.
I ain't saying he is a terrible kid, he just needs some boundaries and a grumpy old fucker like me to kindly show him where they are. There comes a point when the talking is done.I know I am.



Don't worry, I do and will, until he figures this shit out.

He knows that you can only jump up and down on that last nerve so long.

Bad things happen when I get out of the chair.
I know his eyes were as big as saucers when I jumped up and trapped him in the kitchen. he didn't think this old bastard could move that fast.


Then today, I got to drive over a hundred miles on a nasty little two lane twisty assed motherfucking road to get back to Nasty Girls from her parents.

Two days of staying there, that is something I am going to have to keep to myself, the Old MidWest brought large.

Like I said, I survived and another Christmas is getting smaller in the rear view mirror.
Thank God.
It's always the fucking logistics, I can never get that through anyones head, why I hate that holiday more than any three combined.
Driving all over the fucking country side, putting up with hundreds and hundreds of complete fucking morons.

The fucking parking lots, the lines, the People of Wall mart kind of shit.
I have to sedate myself before I get out the fucking door.

I hope you all enjoy the peace and quiet until New Years.

Hand me that jug.

Travel Day

Nasty Girl was due to go home today, when we left here and went through the Gorge a few days ago, we missed getting blasted with a snow storm by mere hours.

Of course, it dumped more snow again last night. We went to my families Christmas party yesterday and had a great time.
The food? OMG!

Just the appetizers were off the charts.The guy is a murderous fiend when it comes to hunting and fishing. Antelope sausage with cheese and jalapeno's, Summer sausage made out of Elk, pepperonie ALA Antelope, Antelope Jerky, cheese out the wazoo. That was just for starters. Turkey, six dufferent kinds of salad, some awesome bean soup, I do need to hold my brother down and get that fucking recipe, some kind of Texas,/ BBQ kind of thing and a completely delectable roast beef. Oh, my, that was perfect.
Cooked to a beautiful rare, sliced thin, almost like thick cut bacon strips, and totally gone in sixty seconds.

Fuck, my mouth is watering just thinking about it.
My little cousin and her husband have a fabulous, huge, house. It was freezing ass cold and the wind was, the only way I can describe it, howling and biting. Two minutes outside to huff half a smoke and the cold would radiate off my leather jacket.

We do a White Elephant give exchange for the adults which is absolutely hilarious. Everone gets a number, the very first one has the ability to exchange his or hers at the end, IF, it hasn't already been stolen three times.

I ain't kidding, this gets vicious. Collaboration between husband and wife, Boyfriend and girlfriend and cousin against cousin.

There is actually quite the game of strategy that has developed over the years.
Everything is twenty five bucks or less.

Note to self, just go to the fucking likker store and throw it in a dollar store bag.

Lottery tickets and booze are the hot ticket items.

Needless to say, after I had the folding fishing pole swiped from me, never to return, I wound up with a tin of three kinds of popcorn. I was being nice, the fucking tequila was long gone.

Of course, I was dressed as nice as I ever do, which ain't that much. No blue jeans allowed say's she and didn't think about the cold. No T shirt, no Long Johns. The Girlfriend was smoking hot in her outfit, dress, and stockings, nice blouse. She was freezing her cute little ass off too. We actually went out to the car to have a smoke because there was no fucking way we were going to stand in that Arctic Blast.

Natuarrly, we left right before it got dark and it started to snow. Forty miles away from home and it snowed most of the way home.


Long story short, Nasty Girl was freaking out about the weather conditions coming back this way and we monitored them half the night and this morning.

When I saw Black Ice warnings, I made the decision for her. You ain't fucking driving home.

So we bailed out a bit late and then argued about what route to take. I made up my mind and told her to hold on and watch the bitching.

I would have been worried sick about her driving in that shit and we did hit some nasty shit. I just drove nice and slow with both hands on the wheel, don't tell my guy friends, guys are supposed to drive with one hand only.

We got here and more of that white shit is scheduled but snow doesn't bother me, it's the fucking ice.

By the way, Oakland beat Denver's ass yesterday and her Vikings are getting their asses kicked as I type.

LMFAO.
 I have a nice cold beer, a few shots lined up, a hotty G/F who is still alive and life is good.

Remind me to tell ya about her shit head little sister who talked her little shit kid into fucking with our Facebook profile pictures. Mine got changed to Sarah you know who and hers got changed to Obama. The kid has already had his ass beat for his trouble.

Thanks fer stopping by and Happy Holidays to you all.

I still have a couple of you out there that I am still praying for.

Keep Him Alive So We Can Kill Him

This fucking guy who shot up Fort Hood is going to wake up not in Heaven, No 72 virgins either. This fucking asshole is going to wake up to a living Hell.

I don't have a problem with that, either.

Personally, I hope somebody shot the dirty motherfucker right in the balls and the bullet came out his asshole. Keep him alive and shitting in a sandwich bag.


Major Nidal Malik Hasan is actually still alive.

The Army is going to kill him and if they don't, Texas will.

The willful killing of people with no connection to your beliefs continues unabated since recorded history.

Can you say unmanned drones, Small Pox, Fat Boy?

What is it that some crazy fucking people deem it absolutely necessary to KILL?

This is a mind boggling mind set to me.

Kill, as in DEAD.

Like the guy that ran down his own flesh and blood daughter because he perceived her as being "Too Westernized".


What. The. Fuck., is the matter with you, that you have to KILL someone for that?

OUR country is expert at killing people, be it the Electric chair, Hanging or dropping bombs indescriminatly over a wide area.

Do not get the wrong impression, child killers, mass murderers,and fuckers like that can take what they got coming.

Bye Bye, I have no qualms with Capital Punishment if found guilty without a doubt.
It is the same thing as a chicken killing dog, you are arbitrarlily denying society a benefit.
Chickens feed people and killing people randomly is a definite sign of viciousness and cannot be tolerated. Killing for Religious reasons and sexual gratification is detrimental to humanity as a whole.

While I do not generally support our wars of imperialism, the viciousness we have all witnessed such as the beheading of Daniel Pearl is enough for me to condone an ass kicking to leave a message that this is not 209, but 2009.

This might all seem contradictory but an eye for an eye is not my preferred method but God Dammit,weed out those who use extreme violence as a message and a method.

Let's start with the fucking Pentagon.

Correction,
I mistakenly named Richard Pearle as the victim of a disgusting beheading when it was in fact, Daniel Pearl.
A tip of the hat to tsisageya for the correction.

Wishful thinking on my part.

Get Home Bag, Winter Version

I will be the first to admit I am not prepared for this winter weather, I have already been bit on the ass with the frozen pipes but I got a real reminder tonight on my way home from some relatives that live 35 miles away after doing the Christmas thing.

If you do not have a Get Home Bag, get one together now, I am dead serious.
I first learned of these on the internet some time ago and kind of scoffed at first and then thought about it for a while and then got my head out of my ass and put one together and threw it in the truck.

Actually, in the interest of full disclosure, I pared down my Bug Out bag and threw it in the truck.

I am just as lazy as the next guy and figured I had it covered.

Wrong.

Way wrong.

It has been crazy around here with the weather. Snow, freezing rain, ice, rain, more snow, wind, more snow, ice, you get the picture.
Let's just say all the modern records have been broken.

You could not find a set of tire chains to fit your car to save your life.

I tried.
My boy has been stuck at his friends house for six days.
He is OK, they finally got out today, but I called and called around to find some cable chains or anything I could get my hands on to get the kid mobile again. It is not like he has some odd ball tire size, I gave him an old Ford Ranger a while back and it has standard 14 inch tires on it, not happening with the chain thing.
Anyway, I have been out running around all over the countryside for Christmas. My folks, my kids, my Grandmothers, and the Evil White Stuff just keeps coming out of the sky.

That Get Home Bag?, yeah, I have been cussing that thing for days, I put it on the front seat of my truck and it has been in the way ever since.
I grab it and throw it on the floor and then I need to put some presents in the cab so I grab it and throw it on the seat and then I grab it again and push it towards the passenger door so I can shift the truck and you kind of see that this is a problem. I would throw it in the back but it is full of tool boxes, a spare tire and all manner of miscellanious crap.

On my way home tonight, right in the middle between civilization and a four mile walk to the next town, one of the heavy duty tire chains let go on my truck. WhamWhamWhamWham, shit.
Of course the side of the road was piled four feet high with snow from the snow plows.
My truck is so old it does not have emergency flashers and for once in a great while, I actually had nice clothes on, of course it was as dark as the inside of a derby hat at midnight to boot.

So, there I am, broke down at night in freezing weather, in a baaaaaad place .
I got my flashlight out and turned on my turn signal to let the idiots know to get in the other lane and out I go to unhook the chain and check for damage.

Actually, I didn't care about body damage, it's an old truck. So I unhook the outside of the chain and go to unhook the inside, no go, no slack.

I get in and pull forward a bit and get back out, still no go, it is under the tire.
One more time I pull forward. This time when I get out, the chain is clear inside the tire and wrapped around the axle and...

This is where my mind flashed onto the Get Home Bag, the tire chain was not only wrapped around the axle, it was dragging on the ground and hooked to the metal brake line.

If not for the Grace of God, one more foot and it would have ripped that brake line out and there I would have sit, in the freezing ass cold weather, waiting, with idiots going by at sixty miles an hour.

That Get Home Bag suddenly had a very real value, exactly what was in it?

A couple of cans of food, two multi purpose Swiss Army knives, a tiny fold up shovel, a Filet knife, small candles, Dry socks, a wool sweater and a wrist rocket sling shot. A small pocket survival kit with fishing gear, waterproof matches, etc, etc.

One wind up flashlight, a pint of Vodka , a basic First Aid kit and some other unremarkable items that need to be replaced..

Not exactly real inspiring.

I have a couple of blankets behind the seat but I think you see my point.
Just how effective would any of this be sitting next to a snowbank on the side of a freeway in the dark when the temperature is 31 degrees?

I am not going to drag this out, I just wanted to bring this to your attention without you having to get on your knees in freezing weather and realize you are not going anywhere for quite a while.

There are many, many recommendations on Survival Sites on what to have on hand for roadside emergencies, I do believe I am going to revisit my Get Home Bag, tomorrow.

One thing I am going to make sure and get are some reflective triangles and some road flares.
I had the shit scared out of me twice by idiots not paying attention and having to do evasive measures to get into another lane at the last second because they were not paying attention.

More Of The Same

We got whacked with another six inches of the evil white stuff last night.
I ended up driving around my small town in the four wheel drive trying to find some propane for the Heater From Hell.
I thought I had enough to get through the night but no.

I finally found an outfit that not only had propane but had more than just one person working so a guy came out and filled up my little jug.

I thanked him profusely and then went in to pay and their electronics were down. While the lady was trying to reboot the system, I dug deep and had enough cash, including a bunch of change, to just pay her and get the hell back home. It took 45 minutes just to get the ice off of the windshield to go on that little jaunt.

This morning, here we go again. Not as much ice, lots of snow.

Oh. and they never got around to plowing the highway. Fun Fun. 25-30 miles an hour but I got to work and boy howdy did I find a nightmare when I got here.
Feet of snow and inches of ice on all the Big Rigs.
My buddy drove fifty miles in that shit to get to work.

The first thing he did was pull his truck in and grab some tire chains that we have in a barrel for spares.
He wrapped one around his tire, measured it and cut off the excess. Did the other one and then it was my turn.

We both now have Heavy Duty chains on our four wheel drives which is a beautiful thing out there in refrigerator land.
It is supposed to let up a bit tomorrow and then start in again Wednesday.

This is already the worst winter storm in this area in Forty years, since 1968.

Funny, I remember that one, it was worse because that one was mainly a huge ice storm.
I also remember my dad had a Ford Four wheel drive just like mine but a year newer, it was brand new.
He tip toed that thing twenty miles to downtown Portland and grabbed the front loader from the asphalt plant he worked at and dumped a load of pea gravel in the bed so he could get around.

I also remember the time he took me to school on a snowmobile down a four lane street.

I come by my crazy naturally.

Stay warm and dry.

If You Can Read This

Then you have survived yet another Christmas in the Bush era.
Pat yourself on the back.

Christmas to me is a giant pain in the ass. Running all over the fucking country side, going to family parties, the company party, THE MALL.......AAAAAUUUUUGH!!
I fucking HATE the mall.
Ten thousand stupid sonsabitches wandering aimlessly at the same time.Can't find a parking spot, it ALWAYS has to be raining,this year it was cold as hell just for fun.
We actually had a bit of snow on Christmas day. That is pretty rare around here,hasn't happened in over ten years.
Of course it didn't stick but it still lifted a lot of spirits for a bit.
Anyway,I got myself a used laptop after I hit two hundred and fifty bucks fartin' around gambling with pull tabs last friday night. I hit it right at closing time and for once didn't have the opportunity to throw it back in.
I'm liking that. I don't have access to the toobz at home yet,but I am going to be house sitting for my folks for two months while they traipse around SOCAL and AZ. They have wireless and I got the card and have already tested it out.
That'll give me something to do besides sitting on a bar stool,seeings how I quit drinking.
All righty then, have a great day and start looking forward to the New Year so we can put another notch in our belts and start looking forward to the end of the Bush administration and hopefully a lot of subpoenas and resignations this coming year.

Good Thing He's Out Of The Country

My pal Fixer has decided that the Christmas experience just isn't enough torture all by itself.
Nope, he figured 'ol Busted must have at least
one more nerve left.
Without further ado, welcome to my nightmare.

Tagged ,for the first time

Da Rulez

1. Link to the person that tagged you, and post the rules on your blog.
2. Share Christmas facts about yourself.
3. Tag seven random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs.
4. Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

Welcome to the Christmas edition of "Getting to Know Your Friends."

1. Wrapping or gift bags?
Gift bags whenever possible, My wrapping skillz suck bad.

2. Real or artificial tree?
Normally no tree,oh the horror stories I have.

3. When do you put up the tree?
Right after I knock the fucker over in my drunken staggering at least three times.

4. When do you take the tree down?
As soon as no one is looking.

5. Do you like egg nog?
Umm,no.

6. Favorite gift received as a child?
My first bike.
Which was stolen a couple years later.
First I learn there is no Santa then some asswipe steals my bike.
Permanent emotional scarring ensued.

7. Do you have a nativity scene?
Does grabbing my balls and shaking them while yelling WOO HOO getting out of the shower count?

8. Worst Christmas gift you ever received?
Thats a tough one.
Flying home to meet my fiance and then getting the cold shoulder for two weeks and breaking up at Christmas in 86.
Actually, now that I think abut it, that was the best one, last time I saw her she was right about 250 pounds.

9. Mail or email Christmas cards?
Email, if your lucky.

10. Favorite Christmas Movie?
National Lampoons Christmas Vacation.
A classic.

11. When do you start shopping for Christmas?
Most of it comes within two or three days right before Christmas with the obligatory last minute marathon.

12. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?
Spiral cut honey glazed ham.
Back off, is Mine!

13. Clear lights or colored on the tree?
Do they HAVE to work?

14. Favorite Christmas song(s)?
Excuse me while I go puke.

15. Travel at Christmas or stay home?
Stay as close to home as possible.

16. Can you name all of Santa’s reindeer?

"You gotta be shittin' me."

I'll go with Fixers answer.

17. Angel on the tree top or a star?
Angel,the last GF wouldn't let me use a beer can.

18. Open the presents Christmas Eve or Christmas Morning?
Both.
Huge extended family.

19. Most annoying thing about this time of year?

"The commercialism and the crowds".

Ding!
20. Do you decorate your tree in any specific theme or color?
No.

21. What do you leave for Santa?
There is no Santa, my therapist told me to get over it.

22. Least favorite holiday song?
Grandma got run over by a reindeer.

23. Favorite ornament?
See #17.

24. Family tradition?
See how drunk Uncle Phil is this year.
(That be me)
Don't go there, I been sober three months.

25. Ever been to Midnight Mass or late-night Christmas Eve services?
See#24

Now for my list of potential victims;

1. Fearguth
2.DarkBlack
3. The Earth Bound Misfit
4.Steve Audio
5.Shoephone
6. My 'Ol pal Flowah
And finally,
7.The Oak Creek Forum