Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Who The Hell ARE You People?

I was just laying here on my ass. waiting for the GF to get finished primping so we can go get some breakfast when I noticed my Stat Counter is over a hundred and ninety seven fucking thousand hits.

That absolutely blows my fucking mind.

Seriously.

Who are you? Why do you waste your precious time in life stropping by this piss poor excuse for a Blog?

Don't be shy, if you are one of those folks who drops by occasionally but never leaves a fucking comment, why?

I want to hear from you, leave some goddamn feedback, even if I don't say howdy right back, I will damn sure read what you have to say.

Don't like the cussing?
LOL, get used to it. Something else on your mind?
Speak the fuck up.

If there are a hundred and ninety thousand some people that have stopped by here in the last five years and you are one of 'em, Thanks.  It baffles me why, but Thanks.

Now I have some scrambled eggs calling my name.

Don't Call Me Shirley

Here I am, once again, unable to sleep.

I was cruising around the web when I found this piece about the recently departed leslie Nielson, who knew the guy was a Canadian? Go watch the clips, I was laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes.

Funny motherfucker, that guy.

They missed my favorite line so I just had to go find it.





Such a classic. Like the guy said, rest easy, you magnificent bastard.

Monday, November 29, 2010

You Know You Have A Cat When.....

Ya wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom* and come back to realize there is an error message flashing on the monitor,
"Windows Mail Is Unable To Establish Contact As There Is Another Program Running Already"."

Half asleep, what do you do? "X" out of the fucker, again and again and again and again and again, until you look down at the bottom of the screen and see there are 375! motherfucking programs running at the same damn time!!

Little bitch has been sleeping on the keyboard again.

Can you say reboot?

Fucking cats.


* Yeah, go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, half asleep when your foot hits a soaking wet carpet.

While I was gone, I had my dad shut the water off because of the freezing weather, I didn't want something to burst while I was gone.

There were a few guy's here at the time and someone was nice enough to turn on a faucet to make sure there was no pressure left in the system.

After I got home and turned on the heat, I was bull shitting with a couple of neighbors outside and turned the water back on. We stood there and shot the shit in the cold for a minute or two before I said we need to go inside where it is warm.

That's when I heard a faucet blasting away at full pressure. I tracked it down, it was the bathroom faucet, with the plug in the sink.
There was an inch of fucking of water on the floor, pouring out into the kitchen off the step and of course, the sink was quite full.

I shut the faucet off and used every single towel I could to soak up the water.

So, of course, when I wake up in the middle of the night to take a piss, what do think happened? I stepped on a soaking assed , cold,wet carpet.

Yay.


Out goes the cat and now I have a space heater in front of the toilet, trying to dry the fucking carpet out.

That should only take three months.
It's great to be home again.

On the bright side, I don't need to shampoo that carpet I guess.

Oy, I'm going back to bed.


While I am still up, I would like to take a moment to thank a sweet lady that hit my donate button while I was gone. You know who you are and SMOOCH!,

What a sweetie.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Escaping The Velvet Chains

As much as it pains me, I have to go.

Nasty Girl is currently distracted and I have to load up the little hoopty and beat feet.

It is currently sunny and clear outside so I am going to haul ass before the weather turns to shit again, not that I actually, really, want to go. I gotta take care of my shit at home but this has been one hell of a week.

Damn, this girl takes good care of my sorry ass!

I try to return the favor.  Her neighbor was in town yesterday when I couldn't even get out of the fucking driveway and was nice enough to stop at the likker store for me so when I  started making fresh, home made  English muffins with the left over sharp cheddar cheese, a nicely fried egg and some of that delicious spiral cut ham we still had left, I made enough to go around both house holds. Damn good, if I have to say so myself. Y'all know what they call 'em. I made one extra and a ham and cheese sandwich for the road. I'll stop at Mickey D's after I hit the road and get a cup of coffee to wash them down with. That's a shout out to my pal  down Texas way, Coffee with the Hermit, Jim.
One hell of a nice guy.
He always has a pot on.

Any way, I needs to get my poop in one pile and throw it in the truck.

 Loves ya Nasty Girl, I know damn good and well you will read this after I hit the road.

Catch yer breath and wish me luck.

Thanks fer stopping by, I gotta split while the getting is good.

A special shout out to my buddy Steve and a neighbor or two, plus my folks for taking care of my shit while I was a willing prisoner here.

Another special thanks to my brother Kevin.

You all know who ya are.

Thank You.

To the rest of ya's
 get the FUCK outta my way.

\

I'm going home.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Snowbound

I have been over here at my GF's for a week today. I came up last week when this fucking weather hit and can't get out of here. All I have here is a two wheel drive truck with no studs.

It snowed, then the freezing rain hit and it is snowing again.

I can get to the little convenience mart about six blocks away just fine, it's that Damn Columbia River Gorge that I can't get through She lives at one end and I live at the other.

Once that bitch freezes, it's studs or cable chains. They end up closing the highways on both sides of the river when it gets bad. It can take days after a cold spell to flush all the cold air out of it. 75 miles long.

I't's "supposed" to be clear tomorrow. We shall see. I have been having to call my buddy Steve to keep an eye on my place. None of my fucking neighbors have a damn phone..  It looks like I am going to have to put tags on The Beast because it at least has four wheel drive.

A set of chains for that fucker are around a hundred bucks but it is fairly dependable. I keep forgetting the speedometer doesn't work though.

If all else fails and I can get the seven miles across the bridge to town, I can use her tire store account and have them throw a couple of studded tires on the back of my little hoopty. I hate to do that.
Fuck me, I hate Winter and it's not even Winter yet!

Anyways have some of this that was going through my evil little mind this cold assed morning.

Friday, November 26, 2010

Hey, Asshole, It's On.

Why one , single , person, listens to that fucking inflammitory dirt bag Rush Limbaugh has always mystified me but this is waaaay over the top.

"If the Christmas shopping season can start before Thanksgiving, so can "bah humbug" season."




Rush Limbaugh tried to rain on Barack Obama's Thanksgiving Day parade, lashing out against a proclamation issued by the president to honor the national holiday and the story behind it.



He also went on the war path against Native Americans, calling for a look at the "scoreboard" of number of people killed since European settlers arrived, and insisting that "a bunch of Native Americans scammed us" in the deal to purchase Manhattan.


You piece of fucking shit.

Even lower than that, you are a fucking maelovent virus.

Suck my ass you fucking cunt lipped rotten dirty little boy fucking asshole.

Seriously, if you like sucking dick, make an appointment.

Let me start out with Small Pox infected blankets that killed hundreds of thousands of Native Americans.

Then go right down through the actual history of how we Americans treated them.

Better yet, how we still treat them.

Fuck you.

Your stupid assed ignorant racist blow hole just opened a Can Of Whoop Ass that is going to come back and bite you right on that cyst scar on your ass that you used to get out of serving in the military.

You have no fucking idea what your Alligator mouth just did to your Humming bird ass.

Fuck you and die in the back of your Limo , better yet, die slowly choking on an illegal hard on pill, that was stuck up your ass first.

Double fuck you on behalf of my ancestors.

It's a good thing you are as bald as I am motherfucker.

I don't have a couple of million fucking morons stopping by here every day but I can bet each and every one  of the folks who do stop by here, every damn of them, has an IQ equal to half your audience by themselves, otherwise I would tell them to hit the fucking bricks.

I actually appreciate the folks that swing by here on occasion and would not hesitate to run over your fucking morons in a parking lot while they scrambled to go buy one of your items at the clearance table at Wally World.

That ignorant shit is so fucking over the top I really can't equate it with all the other racist fucking shit that I have been hearing because this one is a fucking naked statement.

At first they came for the Negroes, then the Irish, then the Chinese,The Polish, the Italians then the Mexicans and now all you have left is the Arabs, Muslims, Turks, (who are our allies) , Iranians, Russians, Palestinians,  A bunch of South Americans, of course , the Cubans, maybe even your mother fucking neighbors.

Fuck, I almost forgot the North Koreans. Busy little war mongering mother fuckers, ain't ya?

Asshole, you are running out of enemies.

But no, Let's go back to Manhatten. You are so fucking ignorant I want to throw up my dinner.

Damn, the French are all pussies, Spaniards talk funny, let's not even mention Portugal.

 Britrain, Ireland, Portugal, France, Germany and all of the Europene states are all getting ready to go belly up because of the theiving sonsabitches here on Wall Street, who are going to haul in record bonuses while the rest of us can suck hind tit, China, Russia, are dumping the dollars they bought to keep our econonomy afloat in their self interest and the last I heard, the unemployment rate is still 20 fucking percenet and Big Biusiness is sitting on 185  TRILLION dollars of cash fucking money they won't get off of to hire one fucking janitor.

I bet ya kinda like those Greeks, I'll just let that alone, bitch.( See the Turks above)

For Rush Limbaugh to go all revisionist on what actually happened in the founding days of this country is so far from what is actually happening in our current world is enough for me to go all College Girl from London on his ass.

That this is some imaginary horse shit revisionist out right lie, about what happened here when the Ignorant savage was fucked out of his entire economic and  geographic area by some fucking shysters that came around and couldn't even feed themselves and I am supposed to call Glenn Beck to order some fucking Gold pieces because, hey, it's all related?

The Native Indians were here thousands of years before you Snake Oil cocksuckers showed up and started killing them for sport.

Happy Thanksgiving, you putrid water bearing slug trail of a dying fucking revisionist, genocidal , race war and an economical war mongering bunch of priveledged intellecticall midgets.

Like I saw recently, another forty years and you are going to be saying hello to all the fucking species that your omniscient fucking ancestors roasted over an open fire. Shot, killed, drowned, passed numerous laws against, separated mother, fathers and their children from while letting the exploiting fucking buddies of yours who employed them to get off Scott Free.  Kill the Brown people!. I can only hope we have chili powder this time.

Think you are going to just run off and hide, so did the Dodo.

The Indians could be vacationing in Morrocco with some fat little bald headed bastard serving them drinks.

Fuck you Limbaugh.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Tday

I hope you had a good one.

The GF went all out again.
She has been fighting a migraine for three days, poor thing. I have slept 18 of the last 24 hours and a bunch before that.

Out cold.

Back later.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Are You Fucking Kidding Me?

Four mother fucking degrees?
Four.

What the fuck is this, Siberia?

That's the forcast for tonight.

It already snowed like a bitch all night and half the day.
The kid opened the door for about three seconds and a blast of frigid air came blowing in.
My little Willy went directly behind the front pocket of my jeans.

It is brutally fucking cold out side.

We lost power for a couple of hours last night and this joint only has electric baseboard heat.

Thankfully it didn't get uncomfortable before the lights came back on.

We would be huddled under blankets shivering our asses off if that happened again tonight.

This is threatening to fuck up our holiday traveling plans. Can't much go visiting relatives if ya can't get out of the fucking driveway.

Not much point in bitching about it anymore, it isn't going to change anything.

I'm going to go snugggle with the Nasty Girl, see ya's.

BTW, I have no god damn clue why this thing is High lighting and for the life of me, can't figure out how to make it stop.

Fucking Idiots, Ya Been Asking For It

http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/world/la-fg-1124-korea-shelling-pictures,0,5522606.photogallery

I do believe that some little fucker needs to have his ass handed to him.
Quit fucking around and help him out.
The Republicans will lap it up like a shit eating dog and what the hell, we need to go to another war anyway, right?

That's what I keep hearing.

Oh, wait, It's not Iran, my bad.
Fucking jerks.

I can see what's coming a mile away.

Fucking attention whores.

 Can't we let what's her name out of treatment a little early and ship her narrow ass over there so the National Enquirer can save some air fair?

Go See JP

Like a lot of folks of late, I don't seem to have a lot of discrecionary cash to splash around.

If ya got ten bucks to spare, go get Jurrasic Porks latest book on Kindle.

I can tell ya from reading his stuff for the last few years, the guy is good.

Damn good.

He is the conscience that a certain segment of society needs to have their fucking nose rubbed in.
A good man, stop by and give him a hell yeah, a little hope goes a long fucking way sometimes.

Outta The Park

Froomkin knocks the hide off the ball with this one.

Somebody is still paying attention.

Grab a cold drink, go to the bathroom and then sit down and read this whole thing. I am dead fucking serious, READ IT!

Without question, he reinforces with facts why I believe that dirty sonofabitch George Bush jr. should be in fucking jail.

Umm, Yeah, About That Security Thing

Need I say more?
Oh no ,you can't see any details from these scanners, they don't save any images and I will bet they don't trade them like baseball cards either.

On top of that, we get to hear some arrogant fucking shit like this too,

What do you want to do, get blown up by a goddamn Arab at 30,000 feet or we get to see your private parts? It's up to you, the ball's in your park," head of the TSA's scanning department, Rodney Schroeder, told CNN.



Yeah, that's some public relations for ya, ignorant fucking asshole.

Suck my fucking dick you rotten sonofabitch.

I have a better chance of getting hit by lightning than getting blown up by some camel jockey.

Fuck you, corporate cum bucket.

Monday, November 22, 2010

Some Times I Can Be An Idiot

God dammit, I am cussing at myself right now.

I came up here to the girl friends and didn't bother to get any propane to keep the Weasel Den going.
Checked the weather and Holy Shit!

It's supposed to get down to 15 fucking degrees tomorrow night.
That's where I live. It's already fucking freezing here and I don't have studded tires.
75 fucking miles away and it's not supposed to thaw out until Thanksgiving.

I tried getting a hold of every damn neighbor I could, plus my Buddy and no luck. I finally resorted to calling my Dad.
He had to drive ten miles to my place, doesn't know where the fucking propane tanks are, found them and then went down the street to get them filled.
Goddamn neighbors weren't home either. The Chevron has a four fucking thousand gallon propane tank and they told him they were out.

Suuuuure.
He went to another joint and they told him the same story.

I am thinking there are some lazy bitches that don't want to go out in the cold.
he is 73 fucking years old and can't see shit when it gets dark.
So, he went home and got my Mom to drive and two fucking hours later, they are still fucking around with this.

Fuck.

I thought I had a buddy staying there while I was gone to take care of the cat but fuck no.

There are going to be some fucking beatings handed out when I finally get home.

In the mean time, I am worried sick about my folks, out there fucking around trying to cover my ass in the dark.

Fuck me.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Have Somma Dat

I watched the game, the Raiders lost theire asses but  this was worth it.
 Fucking Priceless.
Here's an AttaBoy Motherfucker!

I have watched this at least twenty times and I am still laughing my ass off.

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Yippee KiYay MotherFucker

Bruce Willis as you never would imagine. The old man can wail on a harmonica!

Stay outta town you fucker, my old lady tells me you have a nice ass and you are a sexy mother fucker. All I know, you play a mean harmonica dude.
Oh, and I like yer movies too.

You are a mans man, I have to admit.

Get after it son.

Something you would never have guessed,  Bruce can just wail on that sumbitch.

This is good.

This will surprise you.


All that and he kills bad guys in his spare time.

Epic Jam

Ya, I'm still at the Girl friends, she is so fucking awesome, she made a whole thanksgiving dinner, just for me!

Have somma dis,



Just because I like you, here is a bonus.



Have some dessert, I insist.

Have Some More Of That Shit



Now, ya want to hear some sexy shit?

 Boy howdy, I just did.
Grab yer wimmins and fucking get after it, this is some serious shit.

I kid you not, if you don't like this, there is something seriously wrong with ya.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Get Yer Women Right Now.



I deleted a post awhile back about Dick Sticking Music because I didn't want to embarass anyone.

Fuck that, get yer honey naked and play this really loud.


Now go have a drink and a smoke. play with her nasty bits while you are relaxing and then have some of this shit,




It works, trust me.

More TSA Insanity.

Remind me again how these stupid fucking morons are supposedly keeping us all safe from each other.

This is so far beyond ridiculous it should be criminal.

Yes, I know it is a Winger site.
It should startle someone when they figure out where the traffic is coming from and that is enough for a chuckle out of me.

I told ya I'm ornery.



That isn't the point.

The point is, these retarded fucking idiots at the TSA are so programmed that the obvious goes right in front of their faces and they don't blink an eye.
How fucking stupid does one have to be to get one of these jobs?
Is there like, twenty short yellow buses out back for these fucking cretins?

Do they have Velcro shoe laces?

Do they push on the glass door every day that has a big sign that says PULL?
The absolute stupidity of this flat out boggles my mind.

Stew-Pid- IT -EE.
Ya know the dumb sonsabitches can't spell.
It's amazing they remember to breathe.

These complete dolts are our first defense against terrorists entering the country?

Now I am very afraid.


H/T Fark

Are You Guys Out Of Your Fucking Minds?!!

You have GOT to be shitting me if this is true,no wonder the British are doomed.

Seriously, one third of the  men in that country, who obviously have security issues, would dump their girl friend for giving another woman the tongue while giving them a kiss?

Are you fucking CRAZY?

I want to take PICTURES!


Insecure mother fucking douche bags! Turn in your Man Cards immediately, I want to know how you got one in the first place!

Go jump off a fucking bridge, make sure your hair is perfect first.

Pussy mother fuckers, you are a disgrace to Mankind.

Let me guess, these guys are Metro sexuals and can't stand the competition.

Nasty girl, here I come.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Verizon Can Suck My Ass

Ohhhh, this has been coming for a while.

Wait for it.

I originally got a Verizon air card a couple of years ago when I still had a laptop. I'll be the first to admit I thought it was way cool that I could go any where there was a cell phone signal and get on line. I still think that is cool.

Unfortunately, my lap top took a major shit.

Then I hooked up an old PC and plugged it in and away I went.
Originally, it was like $59 bucks a month, for two years. It started creeping up to, I dunno, $62 a month.
Last year at this time, I was lying flat on my back, so sick I thought I was literally going to die. It took over two months to get over what ever the fuck it was I came down with.
While I was laying here, I entertained my self on the internet.

All of a sudden, I couldn't get connected.
So I fucked around and I fucked around, trying to figure out what the fuck was wrong.

I finally called the sonsabitches and went through a big hassle of diagnosing the fact that my air card had died.
The little thingy you plug into yer USB port.
By now I am sick AND pissed off.
I drug my sick ass out of bed and went the two blocks down the street to where I bought the motherfucker, to be told it was out of warranty and they don't sell that shit anymore. Now I AM pissed.
I get directions to the nearest Verizon store and get in my truck and drive fifteen miles away, the whole time my head is spinning and I think I am going to pass out.

I get there and these young little gen X'ers are all over me. I tell them my problem, they tell me the fucker is out of warranty, I explain I already know that.
I tell them I am sick and possibly contagious and the game plan changes immediately.

A new air card is $80. Fine, get one now. Soon enough, I am handing over my debit card and signing a receipt.

Off I go and yadda fucking yadda, I finally get set back up.

What the dirty cocksuckers didn't bother to tell me, was that they renewed my fucking contract for another two years.
I found this out after I started having problems again last summer and had to call the fuckers again. I wanted to get rid of the bastards then but Oh, Hell no, it was going to cost me another $120.

So I said fuck it and just kept paying them. Next thing I know, my bill has gone up to $72 fucking dollars a month on a $59.99 a month plan!
I bitch but I keep paying.

I am on the internet all the time when I ain't working or at the club having a few.

Then I lost my job.

This is where it gets interesting.

A month later, I get the $72 bill for the internet.
I'm thinking I can't afford that shit on unenjoyment so's I call them up and tell them I want the cheaper plan. The lady tries to talk me out of it, citing I used blah blah blah, so many bites or some fucking thing. I said I can't afford that shit anymore, so she say's OK.
Fine. This is after my Girl friend bailed my ass out with these pricks to the tune of damn near a hundred and fifty bucks in September.

Now that I am not working, I spend WAY too much time surfing the net apparently.

My bill, for ONE MONTH , came to $268!!

That is no typo, TWO HUNDRED and SIXTY EIGHT MOTHER FUCKING DOLLARS!!

For one month of internet service.

Gee, ya think maybe I thought there was some kind of mistake?
Oh, HELL NO!
You bet yer ass I called 'em and bitched. The $39.99 service only covers so many blah blah blah bites or some shit and they start adding up at so much per bite when ya go over.

It seems I went WAY the fuck over.
So I called 'em and I threw a complete fit. I realize it isn't the young lady on the phone that caused my grief and I told her that but God DAMN was I mad!
So I bitched and bitched and bitched some more.
She tried to explain to me how their billing process works and it went clear over my head, I was so pissed.

I handed the phone to my girl friend and she finally figured it out.

Needless to say, I told her to change my plan back immediately.

Seeings how it was still the first week of the month, she said she could do that retroactively and was nice enough to give me a 35% discount on this enormous fucking bill.

Now it is only $195 bucks..
I feel so much better now.

NOT!

Dirty fucking bastards, after the first of the year, I am going to give them their $120 bucks to cancel this fucking contract they extended without telling me and calling those other cocksuckers at ComCast.

I hate those fucking bastards too but I have limited choices in this little podunk town.

At least it won't be Dial Up.

Dirty fucking bastards, all of 'em.

Merry Christmas!

Please lord, make it go away.
Fucking greedy bastards, the advertisements and the decorations showed up before Halloween.
Thanksgiving isn't until next week for God's sake.

That alone is a logistical nightmare.
Go to the folks and eat and then fend off a turkey induced coma long enough to drive fifty miles and go to the girl friends parents to fall down on THEIR couch!

Christmas is going to be mean and lean this year.

" Times are tough and I have no job so here is your fucking Christmas card" kind of shit.

I did manage to find enough scratch to go to the local Bi Mart and get a fucking space heater.
We shall see how long this Made In China mother fucker lasts this time, I am saving the fucking receipt.
It ain't even winter yet and it is already getting cold in the old Weasel Den.

I have the sliding doors to the "bedroom" almost closed, just enough for the fucking cat to squeeze through and the little bastard heater is running hard already. I can't wait for the power bill.

Off and on, Off and on. Noisy little fucker too.

Not the cat, I have that little bitch trained real good.

She meows twice and I am up and opening the door.... wait, who has who trained?
At least I don't have to fuck with the god damned cat box much.


It ain't the heater element or the fan that takes a shit in these things, it's the cheap assed switches that go to hell all the time. I had my folks get me one of those oil filled radiator heaters for Christmas a couple of years ago and it melted the switch in three months.
Long after anyone knew where in the hell the receipt was. I tore it apart and fixed it once but it burned up again shortly afterwords so I threw the cocksucker out and went and got a mean mother fucker of a propane fired warehouse heater.
Next thing I know, there is black soot all over everything.
Nice and toasty with a case of black lung disease.
I am lucky it didn't kill me.
Wicked  warm in under three minutes though.

So, Happy fucking holidays, I know damn good and well this isn't going to be the last time I bitch about this consumer driven horse shit before the first of the year either.

Pass the gravy and shut the fuck up.

Bahh Humbug mother fuckers.

Get your ass outta my chair kid or you won't live to see Christmas.
Now bring me a beer.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Home Again

As a matter of fact, I got back Sunday night.
I just don't have much to say.
The current outrage over these bullshit pat downs at the airports has pretty much made it's way through the Blogosphere and I have to say I don't fly.
Fuck that shit.

You had better be a scantily clad hottie blonde with 38 DD's if you are reaching for my crotch and it better be for fun times.

The fucking bastards are feeling up little kids and nuns and anyone else that doesn't exactly think a massive dose of Xrays is necessarily a good thing.

How much ya wanna bet the nun turned around and got back in line?

I know, I'm a sick fucker but that was funny anyway.

These fucking people are out of control.
Even though I don't fly anyway, I would gladly join in the cause of boycotting the dirty sonsabitches.
Money talks to these airline people very loudly.

Whisper in their ear that they can go fuck themselves until they can pull their heads out of their asses and their filthy paws out of our crotches.

It won't take long for their number crunchers to start shitting themselves over lost revenue and then THEY can go lobby Congress to get it stopped.

Money talks to those rotten cock suckers very persuasively, as we all know.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Outta town

My poor aunt.
Her dad died last week and her uncle did the same thing two days later.

Two funerals on the same day, three hundred miles away. On top of that they have been taking care of my Grandmother.  They put  her in a fabulous old place that I guess was an old hotel way back when. The living room and the dining room are bigger than most bars put back to back.
Gorgeous wood work around the doors, antiques out the ass.

She is worried that we are going to pull her out of there toes first.

You'll be OK granny, it's only for a couple of days, the whole famn damily is going to this funereal.

My Sweety has been here taking care of my narrow ass, she even remembered to get my mom a birthday cake and a card for Monday.

I am tellin' ya, I qam one lucky sonofabitch.

She is a hottie and she kinda likes me a little bit.

I'll be back in a couple of days. Right now, there is going to be a little yes maam. Hold still girl.

Thanks fer stopping by.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Got Firewood?

This thing is absolutely amazing!



Now for something quite a bit more affordable that is amazing in it's own right.



They have these that you can run off of a three point hitch with your tractor too. There is even one crazy old bastard that rigged one up to run off of your truck axle with the wheel and tire still on it.

There are some clever bastards out there. Where were these things when I was a kid?
Busting rounds with a sledge hammer and wedges if I was lucky. Most of the time I had to use a splitting maul.

My back hurts just thinking about it.

Of course, there is some old school technology still out there but you wouldn't catch me near this damn thing.

Tuesday, November 09, 2010

Of Course It Was Ours

I get woke up by the phone again and after I get off, I start checking the headlines.
I run into the one about some mystery missile that launched out of the fucking ocean off of LA and start reading the article and just start laughing.

'We don't know who's it is" kind of crap.
Oh, the Navy said it wasn't one of theirs, the Air force denies any knowledge, blah blah mother fucking Blah.

Jesus christ. Any idiot can figure out it was our bird fired from our sub.

What?
Ya think maybe some Mexican fishing trawler lit off a fucking inter continental ballistic missile?

Ya know why I know it was ours right off the get go?
Because if it wasn't, I would have awakened to absolute fucking pandemonium.

The government would be shitting rings around it's self and there would be one giant military cluster fuck going on right now.

That's our news media though.

Ho hum, I think I'll go back to sleep now.

Monday, November 08, 2010

Let There Be Heat!

Jeeze, I have been freezing my ass off all night and all day. It's warm enough under the covers but my hands get cold and stay that way.I only got a couple hours of sleep this morning and the damn phone woke me up.
I was up till one and then went back to sleep.
The phone wakes me up again at four thirty.

I finally decided to get off my dead ass and go get some propane before it got completely dark.
Of course, then ya have to dick around and re light the pilot lights for the hot water heater and the oven.
The furnace has been running for ten minutes and all I can say is that it has kind of knocked the chill off somewhat. It isn't exactly toasty in here by any stretch.
That's what happens to these big sardine cans, once they get cold it is hard to warm them back up even though this was a high end model for it's time and actually has two inches of styrofoam insulation in the walls.

It will warm up eventually.

I'm going to go help it and crank the thermostat and let 'er rip until I can at least feel my hands again.

It's a little Chilly In here

Dammit.
Ran out of propane in the middle of the night.

Woke up with a serious case of heart burn from the bowl of chili I ate right before I went to bed too.
Ah well, throw another blanket on and grab the cat for a jump start and it is back to sleep we go.
Close the doors to the bedroom to conserve the heat.

Pretty soon I will be farting in my sleep and before ya know it it will be toasty warm in here again.

Where ya going kitty?

Kitty?

Sunday, November 07, 2010

Why Isn't Bush Jr.In Jail?

Ok, this is really pissing me off.

In the last two weeks I keep seeing this fucking bastard in the news.

The last one was that he was damn glad he ordered prisoners to be water boarded.

Hello?

His response? Damn right I did.
That is fucking torture and the dumb sonofabitch just admitted it and nothing happened, again.

Seriously.

In George W. Bush's new memoir, Decision Points, the former president explains that the CIA approached him about the possibility of waterboarding Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, the al-Qaeda operative often called "the architect of 9/11." In his memoir, Bush writes that his response was "Damn right." This seems to be a straightforward admission that Bush approved the use of waterboarding on a detainee--even though this technique is widely regarded as inhumane, and its use is thought by many to violate the United Nations Convention Against Torture, of which the United States is a signatory.

It makes me want to tear what little hair I have out by the fucking roots.
He then lies again and says he really didn't want to go to war in Iraq in the first place and actually thought about replacing that dirt dog rotten sonofabitch Cheney as Vice President.


Two questions.

Who the fuck are you trying to kid and who is your fucking lawyer?

Why?

Why am I seeing this piece of fucking shit being interviewed and why is he not in a holding cell?

He has admitted to international war crimes.

Now he is out and about,ADMITTING them on national television!


Nothing I can say is going to change this but I am going to say it anyway.
The rotten mother fucker is guilty of treason and war crimes.

He just admitted it.
Let me repeat that,
Former President Bush has admitted to authorizing Crimes against humanity.

Google it, I just did.

"Damn Right".

Ya wonder why I figure the rules are for little people and I ain't a little people?

Because Fuck You,

All men are created equal and all that shit.



You have got to be kidding me that I live in a country when a self proclaimed war criminal is wandering around the television circuit bragging about his crimes and I have to sweat bullets wondering whether or not my fucking license plate light is out or I have my fucking seat belt on.

Kiss my mother fucking ass.

Saturday, November 06, 2010

I Met The Fokkers Today

Every one is always afraid of meeting their signifigant others parents.


I am looking forward to Thanksgiving.

Damn nice guy.
Nasty Girl's Mom is a sweet heart. Regular folks.


 It was all good and I think I passed muster.
Nobody get their panties in a bunch, we have been steady for over a year and I ain't getting up in the morning.

Win, win.

Friday, November 05, 2010

This Post Deleted by Author

Sorry, I started to get really, really nasty, seriously, like NSFW ,like you can't believe.

Such is the power of the internets to find the very thing that you are thinking of and put it in picture form.

Just for example, here are my thoughts on Mitch McConnell;
For those who aren't so quick on the uptake, it's called a Man Hole.
It is too small to represent where all the corporate money gets pumped into 24/7.

See? I had to stop before I got out of hand.

No, I can't help myself.
Let me introduce you to the next speaker of the house, Mr. Bohner.

HEY! It's pronounced BAY NOR, and he has a REAL tan! Ha Ha Ha Ha ha!

These people are deadly poison and I am going to spend some of my time skewering them and kicking their asses for being corporate whores and obstructionist mother fuckers.

Might as well start out on a lighter note.

Before it gets serious.

Deadly, serious.

Wednesday, November 03, 2010

Stand Back, I'm Gonna Blow

Before I get incoherent, because I am, I just want you to know I voted yesterday.
I wasn't going to, one of my brothers, you know him as BustedsBro, called and ragged on me about it.
This could get lengthy.

I had just got back into town after a week and a half at my girl friends place. I had a good time.
He calls, rags on me while am having a cold one after driving for an hour and a half with the sun in my eyes and was relaxing.
He starts in.
"Did you vote?".
Uhmm, not yet, I just got back in town, etc, etc. I will spare you the rest.

So,
I come home to the Weasel den and let the cat out, it bitched at me just like I knew it would and took off. The fucking cat is fine, I had a neighbor take care of it while I was gone.

Back to my point here.
I grabbed the ballot and went back down town, I cruised by City Hall to make sure that was where to drop it off, it was too late to mail it in.
So I order another cold one and am filling the fucker out, both sides, mind you.
I did what I thought was the right thing and then I get to all of these people running unopposed who I had looked into earlier and sad, Oh, Fuck No., so I voted for myself, many, many, times.
You know, that write in thing.

Fuck you, I voted, get over it.

Then I flip the damn thing over and start perusing the initiatives, this is where it gets ugly, hide the women and childrens.

Two of these are about wresting control of the likker stores in this state. Let me stop now, so I can suck down some expensive suds for a second and catch my breath.

The likker stores in this state are run by the state. Period.

We just went through hell making the fucking bastards open up on Sunday. They countered with only some stores.
Fuck, You, I sez. Three bucks a fifth in taxes here compared to across a fucking bridge.

This is the only fucking state I have ever been in that doesn't sell cigarettes or even mixers like Coke.
Nope, gotta go down to the nearest convenience store for that shit.

So the vote was to get the state out of the bizznis and let private people take over. All fer that I says.
Fucking idiots.

But that isn't really what pissed me off, this did.

I had forgotten about it but some cock sucking genius came up with a tax on little kids last year, and it passed.

You read that right, a tax on little kids.
A special tax on Candy and Soda Pop.

Ya see, this state has no income tax, something else that was on the ballot today.
It has a sales tax, which to this day, after twenty fucking years in this state, I haven't figured out. They don't tax some food stuff but others they do, I dunno but it is a fucked up mess. To make it worse, it isn't just a state wide sales tax, it varies from city to city!!
Anyway, back to the little kid tax on candy and pop, just who the FUCK do you think is paying that tax?

I don't know about you but this ain't fucking China, where little kids go to work every day for rice money.
No, that special tax comes right out of Mommy and Daddy's ass pocket. One more sneaky fucking hidden tax some dirty mother fucking son of a two bit whore came up with.

Ya know, Bill Gates lives in this state.
 His net worth is over seven times the operating budget of this entire mother fucking state, but no, you can't tax the rich guy, you gotta take it outta the ass pocket of the working class guy, with a special tax on the kiddies.
Booze, check.

Smokes, double check, they are twice as expensive as they are across the river, I am not kidding and it is all taxes.
Want to get some gas?
 Get yer narrow ass out of the car and pump it your self, at five cents more a gallon than it is across the river, where some nice guy will do it for you while he is out in the pouring rain.

The best part?
They had to go through the political process  and get enough signatures to put on a ballot, to repeal the kiddy tax..
That's right, I got to vote to repeal the kiddy tax .

It makes me want to scream.

People wonder why I quit fucking with politics.

It's completely FUBAR.

Our political system is broken beyond repair when I have to vote on something like that and assholes on Wall Street get Multi Million dollar bonuses that we paid for after they broke themselves playing fuckity fuck gambling on shit they made up that no one to this day can explain what exactly what the fuck it was and where in the fuck all the money went.

I voted today.
Cock suckers.
 I NOW HAVE A LICENSE TO BITCH WITH EXTRA SPECIAL PRIVILIGES.

And I aim to do just that..

Monday, November 01, 2010

Brace For Impact

Tomorrow is the big day when people go vote in the Mid terms for Congress and the House of Representatives.

I have been staying away from politics for quite a while now because I got burned out on it.

After tomorrow the political landscape could change dramatically.

The Party Of No claims they are going to take over the House and then the REAL obstructionism is going to start when they get sworn in.
They plan on trying to Impeach Obama, repeal the healthcare bill and completely tie up the peoples business with endless investigations, all the while wanting yet more tax cuts for the rich and Fuck You if you make less than a million a year.

If Bohener actually gets to be Speaker, all Hell is going to break loose.

If we wind up with Whack Jobs like Sharon Anglle and Christine O'Donnell in office, it is going to go down hill fast.

If the Dems wind up retaining the Majority, it is STILL going to go down hill fast.

My point?

It is going to continue to decline no matter what.

The Economy is still trying to find bottom while those treacherous mother fucking Banksters and Lobbyists keep trying to find ways to squeeze the last nickel out of our pockets, no matter who is in charge.

There isn't Jack Shit for anything I feel the need to run home and fill out a ballot for.

I was supposed to drive home from the Girl Freinds today but slept all damn day and it was getting dark when I finally got up.

I have been here since a week ago Friday.

I am hitting the road tomorrow and I WILL NOT turn on the radio to listen to this political Kabuki while I am driving, there might be some road rage involved if I did.

Nope, I am going to wait until all the results are in in a day or so and then figure out what my game plan is going to be.

Most likely just doing what I have been like nothing happened.

Neither party has done Jack Shit for the working man or woman and quite a few of us have been watching them for years.

We have simply come to the conclusion that we have to take care of our selves and our loved ones with what we have.

We watch and we wait.

Take my word for it, it isn't going to get better any time soon so watch your six and try and look ahead as much as possible for your own well being.

They don't give a shit about you and they are lying through their teeth when they say they do.

Remember that.