Fuck You Newt Gingrich

My thoughts exactly.

Shamelessly stolen from a guy I really like, who swiped it from another guy I really like and half assed aspire to be.

This needs to get around a bit because it's fucking true, Newt Gingrich is a fucking asshole and if I ever get the chance, I will tell him that to both of his faces.

Cocksucker.



A-Fucking-Men

If you like Newt Gingrich, you are so stupid I can't believe you can remember to breathe.

I Want To See Some Crab Bait

Thirty years after Natalie Woods death by drowning, the LA detectives office want to reopen the case because of some comments made by the skipper of the boat she allegedly fell overboard made recently.

I have to admit my interest in this;

I called bullshit on this back when it happened and that woman was the most beautiful lady I had ever seen in my life.

To this day, she had the most gorgeous eyes and a perfect body,I have never forgotten her.

I can point a finger where I figure some one had a hand helping her overboard but It's just a gut feeling.
I do tend to trust my gut feelings though.

Looking at you, Robert Wagner.

Wagner said the evidence suggests "she had slipped and rolled into the water, which makes a lot of sense because the boat — when they found it, it hadn't been started and the oars were all in the same position. There was no evidence that she tried to get in it."

I wonder why.
Maybe she really didn't want to get in the damn thing in the first place?

I would love to see some closure in this.
She was a nice lady and gorgeous beyond belief.

I think I was only six or seven when I first saw her and I was instantly smitten.

Told ya I am a pervert, I just have exceptional taste.

She was a very beautiful lady and got more so as she aged,She might have been in her seventies now but she would still be one of the most beautiful women in the world.




What a waste.

32 Screws

I shit you not, I found 32 motherfucking screws trying to get my heater core out and they were all under the hood.

The best part is, after I spent two fucking hours finding all those hidden sonsabitches, the fucking lid still wouldn't come off the heater core.

At least the fucking thing wasn't under the dash.

It was under the hood and I now have thirty two new reasons to kill every fucking automobile engineer on this planet.

Out of those 32 fucking screws that were hidden all over on a piece of plastic the size of a large pizza pan, there were ten fucking different sockets involved,.

Want to see just how much I want to eat the gizzard out of said asshole engineers?

Half were metric and the other half were a combination of what the fuck standard sockets.

Now, the best part.

While I was finding and cursing and taking out these screws, I was gently prying on said plastic part, that's how I kept finding these fucking screws.
After careful observation that there were no more screws, the fucking still wouldn't come loose with gentle persuation.

Oh, fuck, no.
The fucker came out in little pieces because the glue they used must be some awesome shit.

Now it is going to be back to a wrecking yard to the tune of a couple hundred bucks because they won't want to sell me just the lid that wouldn't come off.
Oh, fuck no.

This damn thing had A/C and they are going to want serious money for the whole heater/ A/C box and I will be lucky to find one.

Ahh well, shit happens.

I still have to yank the radiator , the fan and the crank pulley to fuck with that seal yet also.

Not bitching, just, wait, yes, I am bitching, you stupid fucking idiots that used 32 fucking screws with different head sizes and the same diameter thread size to hold down a piece of plastic that weighs five fucking ounces.

Hidden under shit I had to take off to find yet another useless fucking screw.

Y'all just line up over here and bend over so I can take three steps and kick you right in the nuts, until yer lips turn blue.

LMAO, God Damned Old Chevy's

Ya gotta love it.

The vintage 1980 Chevy El Camino is still kicking my ass.

I spent a whole day and still have an open wound trying
to replace the front crank seal and that bastard leaks more now than it did before I fucked with it.
Then we have the being cheap bastard I am and going to the junk yard and paying too much for a blower motor for the heater that took a big dump five days later.

Just fer shits and grins, the heater core went tit's up on the way home today and I had to drive home with my head out the window because the windshield was steamed out with anti-freeze mist.

I had a shop cloth handy just to find out all that did was smear shit all over the fucking wind shield.

Gotta love it.

The wife has been unhappy with my recent acquisition of this thing from day one but I knew this kind of shit was inevitable.

The damn thing starts up, goes like hell and I like it.

A hunnert and ten bucks and a whole day to come, all that fucking shit will be a memory.

They make a thin walled cylinder called a sleeve to fix worn shafts.
The kit comes with a new seal.
Ya take every thing back apart, get some emery cloth to clean the nose of the crankshaft and then patiently tap, tap, tap this metal sleeve over the fucking thing and then use the new seal and Fuck You Chevy, no more leak.

The blower motor is three fucking minutes.
The heater core, I haven't really looked at but I am hoping they weren't as stupid as Ford is where ya gotta pull the whole mother FUCKING dash board to get too.

I was wanting to work this weekend to make some money, today is my Mom's birthday and they are due in sometime this weekend, she was nice enough to let me use her car for a couple of days to get back and forth to work.

The Wife had a fit when I told her I have a perfectly good Beast of a 67 Ford 4x4 because it only has comprehensive insurance.

Yeah, that Wife thing.
I drove over twenty years with absolutely zero insurance and my job is fifteen minutes both ways.

I guess that's why ya get a Wife.

I'll just hop in her little hooptie until the weekend and go bust a couple more knuckles, she can use Mommy's rig if she needs it, she is a stay at home Mom.

In other news, life is good.

I hope everyone else is staying above water and Happy Thanksgiving to you all.

I Just Got Dust In My Eyes

You will too after watching this.

Pulling My Pud

Not literally, just mental masturbation.

Israel.

Palestine.
I fucking ran.
I fucking rack

Central Africa.
Central America.
Central Park.

Wait, Occupy some fucking place.

Damn, I really can't keep up with all the shit going on.

I damn well can't give an opinion on anything because I have been so busy lately.

I did manage to finally put new tubes in the boy's bike rims.
It took a little doing and then my tiny little dick air compressor gave me a bit of Fuck You but I made it happen.

Anyone know how many " Terrorists" we killed today?

It is Saturday, we must have bagged at least one # 2 Al Fucking Queada dude before the newspapers came out.

It's About Fucking Time

Yippee Ki Yay Mother Fuckers,The Fed is going to audit all those dirty sonofabitch Futures traders on Wall street. You remember the Eddie Murphy movie with Dan Akroyd called Trading Places, yeah, those fucking cocksuckers.

Halafuckingluya.

Thank you Suzie Madrak @ Crooks and Liars for this most welcome news.

These are the dirty fuckers gambling on the price of our food and other commodities, like fucking gasoline.

I'm glad I don't live or work anywhere near Wall Street, the smell of all those rotten fuckers shitting themselves all at once must be awful.

Goodby Verizon

Dirty motherfuckers.

I have been waiting two fucking years to get rid of those sonsabitches.
Finally, last month, the contract they renewed without my consent expired.
Two fucking years I waited.

True to form, my $59.99 bill that I signed up for turned into over a hundred bucks, every fucking month.

I used a whopping 218 megabytes last month because I don't need their shit anymore, there is WIFI all over this joint.

Good fucking riddance.
The guy had the balls to tell me that whatever, whatever, version 4.0 was cheaper than what I had already.

I was polite and didn't tell him to suck my dick after all the grief I have been through with this asshole outfit.

Fuck me, I have had to call these motherfuckers every goddamned month for the last two years.

One month was over two hundred and fifty fucking dollars,for internet access. I squealed like a little bitch and got it dropped to a whopping one ninety.

I can relax now, they are fucking gone with prejudice, never to return.

Can ya hear me now, motherfuckers?

Wanting to go see The Wall

I just found out Roger Waters is coming to Portland in May and the tickets go on sale Monday.

FUUUck me, I always wanted to see Pink Floyd,even though the key boardist died last year and they have been broke up for years anyway.


Tickets can go clear up over a grand apiece for front row, my budget is quite a bit more modest and this could be my christmas present but the wife says no, she wants to go too.

A couple of hundred apiece to get the back of the venue with a straight shot at the stage, we will make that work.

For those of you who like Floyd, there is a tribute band from Australia that I have actually seen and they play Floyd note for note, have extremely awesome back up singers and a wicked light show.
Some of the members of Pink Floyd actually went and saw them am said it was the best concert they ever went to and gave them a couple of the big inflateable props from their own show.
I saw the big rat myself.

Think I'm kidding these guys are good?

Oh, hell no.


Sorry, it's the best of the crappy videos I could find on Youtube but just listen and you will get the idea.
Just fer shits and grins, here is the European version, pretty good too;



Now, for the real deal,


If Aussie Floyd gets any where near you and you can afford it, go see this show, it's awesome.

I ain't fucking kidding.

A Guest Post

Please welcome a nice lady named Ellie who contacted me via email asking to do a guest post about seniors hooking up for financial reasons in the face of the economic crisis instead of love and companionship.

I told her to take her best shot and she did very well, it is a good read and informative, along with being timely.

Please take a read and give a think about what she has to say.

The Financial Factors Influencing Cohabitation Amongst Seniors

In today’s economic climate, it is safe to say that many of us have faced some recent financial situations
that have left us somewhat shy of comfortable. And the seniors out there certainly haven’t had an
easier time. Because of the state of the economy along with other financial issues, there has been a
dramatic change in the dating scene for those over the age of 65. A large percentage of unmarried
seniors are choosing to stay that way, forgoing their former ideas of a life built around marriage with a
sturdy foundation of love.

Over the last couple of years, cohabitation has been accelerating amongst the senior population in the
United States. The U.S. Census Bureau has reported that the percentage of senior couples 65 and older
living in heterosexual, unmarried-partner households has almost doubled from what it was before the
year 2000.

Reasons for cohabitation. One of the biggest common denominators in this trend seems to be money.
Instead of marrying for love, seniors are throwing their traditional values out the window instead to
cohabitate. With this living situation, many find that they have the opportunity to save funds…and even
have the chance to gain some as well…

If two 70-year-olds, both earning $30,000, live together without being married, they are looking at
receiving around $10,000 in health care subsidies. If that same couple is married, however, they are
not eligible for any subsidy. Check out these other reasons why many seniors in today’s day in age are
opting to cohabitate for financial stability:



Tax disincentives
Loss of military and pension benefits
Fear of incurring liability for partner's medical expenses
Credit rating protection
Separation of current debt
Ability to share expenses
Health insurance
Asset protection
Alimony

Tips for Cohabitating Seniors. For seniors engaged in relationships where the option of marriage is
taken off the table for financial reasons and cohabitation is being considered as an alternative, there are
some important things to keep in mind before making the commitment to live with one another:

•


Update your wills.
Talk with your family members and assure your children and grandchildren that your new
relationship won’t have a negative impact on their inheritance.
Keep your assets separate. Do not combine bank accounts.
Consider maintaining two separate households. You can still live with your partner, but if the
relationship should happen to end, for both practical and legal reasons it is important you have


•

your own home to fall back on.

•


Each partner should think about getting long-term care insurance.
Have a cohabitation agreement drawn up and signed.
Protect the interests of your family by making sure that your estate planning is up to date.
Have your health care wishes put in writing and share them with your children or pertinent
family members.

Problems associated with cohabitation. Studies show that married seniors typically enjoy higher
levels of physical and mental health than unmarried seniors do. Researchers have also discovered that
married senior couples are more likely to report being “very happy” than cohabitating senior couples
are. And of course, with such a big movement in the senior population towards cohabitation, we
question where society is going in terms of its views on marriage. Will the institution of marriage be
something unheard of in the near future? Whatever happened to marrying strictly for love, no matter
what the financial situation?

Ellie Steven is a guest post author who shares with us this piece on the financial influences of
cohabitation amongst seniors. To read more of Ellie’s work which covers topics about senior online
dating, please check out her website, "Best Senior Dating Sites"

Ready, Fire, Aim.

Holy shit, Dick Morris really is a Dick and not the good kind.

I can't believe what I just saw over at Crooks and Liars about that low life sonovabitch .

He is talking about THE FOURTH woman to point the finger at Presidential hopeful Herman Cain for inappropriate sexual advances/ harassment.

You tell me if this guy shouldn't be long fucking gone from any public media exposure;

"Gloria Allred is in search of headlines and this woman is in search of money," Morris opined. "This woman has been unemployed for 13 years and this is apparently pay day. She's not accusing him of harassment, she accusing him of assault. He should go to jail if he did that."

"Certainly if it was true, it would be inappropriate," Hannity admitted.

"I look forward to her spread in Playboy," Morris declared while chuckling.

"Do you think this is really about money?" Hannity asked.

"Yeah, sure it is," Morris explained. "She's been unemployed for 13 years. She's been sued a million times. Of course, it's about money. ... I mean, come on. Anybody who knows Herman Cain, anybody who knows anything about Herman Cain, knows that this is not the kind of conduct -- his religious convictions, his persona, his style. And also, if he was to do this, do you think the other women would be accusing him of inappropriate jokes or of inappropriate gestures? If his M.O. is he damn near raped somebody, they would say that."

"Yeah, rape is a harsh term," Hannity noted. "I didn't take that out of what she said. I think that he made very inappropriate advances."

"I don't think he did," Morris disagreed. "The only advance she wants is a cash advance."

My bold.

What a fucking asshole and that fucking Hannity is just as bad for not slamming that fucking jerk.

Looks like if that is what she is after, she just might go after that fucking prick for defamation.

Me?

I would just go down to an on ramp and beg for money with a sign that said, I need money for a plane ticket so I can go punch Dick Morris in the fucking face.

I would imagine first class wouldn't be out of the question, both ways.

Cain's Run Is Pretty Much Over.

Accuser number four goes public.

I say it's time for that guy to grab his cock and take a walk.

Yer toast asshole.

I Got Another Good Boy

Proud of the young man, I am.

All of 13 years old and he took to wrenching like a duck to water.

The kid as almost as big as I am at 13 and already wears size 12 shoes.

Scary.

I found a pair of coveralls that was a bit too big for him and we went to town .
Tearing the front of the motor apart, yanking the radiator, fan, belts, crank pulley and all to yank out the front crank seal and put it all back together.

He kind of petered out towards the end but he did awesome and took direction to the Tee.

Yeah, his name is Bobby and I am damn proud of him today.

A typical teenager, he tends to smart off but I figure some positive reinforcement will go a lot farther than threatening to beat his ass.
Besides, the boy has a natural talent which I am going to out of my way to encourage.

Speaking of talent, this kid will amaze you with his Yo Yo's. I am serious.
He pay's 80 bucks apiece for them and watches youtubes and is absolutely amazing at the tricks he can do.

If he stays serious about this much longer, he will make money.

For you lady folks, he looks just like that little Justin Beiber.
This kid is going to have to beat the little girls away with a stick in a couple years.

He never really had a Dad and I just came along but my other boy had the same situation and I could bust a gut, I am so proud of that guy.The young man is well on his way to being a stand up individual.
Speaking of which, I am going to be a Ornery Fucking Grandpa again.

Some time in March.

Thankfully, I have the New Wife to keep track of all these Birthdays and shit.

Y'all have a nice day and thanks fer stopping by.

Update;
I forgot to mention that of course I had to bust another knuckle while I was at it.
Pulling on a wrench and it slipped off.
I cut the piss out my ring finger on the back side right at the first joint below the nail on my right hand against the sheet metal for the core support.
It smarts a bit this morning.

Krugman

Go read what that guy has to say right fucking now.

It isn't our imagination, we are truly fucked, by design.

That guy is all over it and has been screaming into the void for years now.

He pisses off the bankers and that fuck head  Bernanke which is enough to make me want to buy the guy a drink.

He is like Joe Friday from Dragnet back in the day.....




Just the facts ma'am, both of em.

The fact is, someone is geting fucked and it wasn't that rich bitch.

Too bad, she looked like she could use one,



The facts are out there and folks are getting seriously pissed off.

Found a Credit union yet?

Feeling Rich These Days?

One in fifteen Americans are now classified as being the poorest of the poor. That is over twenty fucking million people in a country of three hundred million

400 families in this country control over forty percent of the money available to spend..

Do some basic fucking math.

Top Ramen must be booming.

About 20.5 million Americans, or 6.7 percent of the U.S. population, make up the poorest poor, defined as those at 50 percent or less of the official poverty level. Those living in deep poverty represent nearly half of the 46.2 million people scraping by below the poverty line. In 2010, the poorest poor meant an income of $5,570 or less for an individual and $11,157 for a family of four.

That 6.7 percent share is the highest in the 35 years that the Census Bureau has maintained such records, surpassing previous highs in 2009 and 1993 of just over 6 percent.

Broken down by states, 40 states and the District of Columbia had increases in the poorest poor since 2007, and none saw decreases. The District of Columbia ranked highest at 10.7 percent, followed by Mississippi and New Mexico. Nevada had the biggest jump, rising from 4.6 percent to 7 percent.

People wonder why there are protesters in the streets.

Apparently having lobster delivered to your front door with a side of quail wings just don't fucking open your eyes to the family's across town who are skipping meals so that the kids have something to eat.

Oh hell no, they notice.
They also give millions of dollars to their local politician to make sure that school lunches and breakfasts have their funding cut because we just can't afford that shit.
They also cry about those protesters  to those same politicians to keep them out of their gated community's.

I remember when my parents split and me and my brother had hot dog buns with ketchup and mustard for dinner and called it pizza.

I also remember just after that when I was nine fucking years old and taking care of my little brother and making sure he had a bath, washed his clothes and made pancakes as big as a plate for him because he didn't like little ones.

I am no stranger to these things and I damn well thought it should get better if ya worked hard and played by the rules.

Guess what, there are no fucking rules if ya are lucky enough to have parents that make two hundred and fifty fucking grand a year.

The rest of us can suck the hind tit.

If you don't know what that is, you made too much fucking money.

The old  saying is that money doesn't buy happiness but it damn well will if you have enough I see.

Go Read Marcy

The bullshit propaganda our fucking government tries to pull will make ya puke when you read it and then analyze it for what it is.

I will save my comment to her after I give you a taste of what our government prints out on Flash Cards for our soldiers to use on the civilians in other countries and is our "Official Position",until after I go puke in the sink.

I will tell ya now, if you don't read what Marcy Wheeler has to say at Empty Wheel, you are missing one of our national treasures muck raking on the shit our government tries to hide from us on a daily fucking basis.
She is so damn good, and digs in the legal weeds so far, she has trumped The New York Fucking Times before.

So, here is the short version of what our political and war mongering overlords think are the most admirable qualities of Amerika;

Here’s how the cards describe “the characteristics of American Culture”:

• Fast-paced.
• Punctuality.
• Women’s rights.
• Egalitarian, belief in equal opportunity; not outcomes.
• Goal-oriented.
• Individualism.
• Pragmatism.
• Tolerance.
• Separation of church and state.
• Value work and personal success.
• Love of technology.

and this is the comment I left for her, God bless the woman;

Hmm, nothing about it being OK to murder abortion providers, shoot peaceful protesters in the face with a skull breaking bean bag, alright for giant corporations to secretly deliver untold millions of dollars to influence national elections, let war criminals run at large or let entire financial industries to defraud millions of citizens.
Create an entirely new national security department out of thin air with the power to strip search citizens on a whim, including young children, seize their electronic devices at the border without a warrant and not have to give them back for six months or longer, can seize a persons money at the border and not have to give it back, ever?
Are we talking about the same country who thinks it is just peachy to use SWAT teams to deliver a summons to court,after they blow the door off a person who is three blocks away from the address on the summons and shoot to death that person for trying to defend their loved ones from a perceived home invasion?
You talking about THAT Amerika?
Because I am.
Are you sure they weren’t talking about Pakistan,Iran or some other autocratic state instead of Amerika?

Go give it a read and  leave your thoughts.

I give her two thumbs up.

A Couple More Reasons The Supreme Court Should Have Term Limits

Let me tell ya up front, I hate that fucking Anthony Scalia with a Hard On I would put up against a Ginsu knife and I wailed like a little bitch when that motherfucker Roberts lied his ass off and got appointed as Chief Justice.

Get a load of this shit;

I gotta give the lawyer dude props for sticking his middle finger in Scalia's eye though.

Fuck you Fat Tony, ya piece of corporate bought shit.

If there was ever a case to get rid of some crooked judges, the Ninth ain't the place to start.

Are You Fucking Kidding Me?

Sitting here relaxing after work and watching the local news when I hear some outrageous fucking shit.

The Occupy Portland branch got a visit from the local Department of Homeland Security, telling them to disperse out of a public fucking park or face arrest.

Excuse me?
Who the fuck do you think you are, you sonsabitches?
This is a Portland CITY police issue and you cocksuckers can go back across the river and go back to fondling travelers at the fucking airport.

Twenty five protesters did get arrested, by the fucking police and charged with trespassing.

Really, the DHS for a protest?
Uhmm, fuuuuuuuck you.

No, really, I am serious, you can go break one off in your ass if you think
you can just waltz into a peaceful protest and start telling people what to do inside a city fucking park.

How much ya wanna bet the fuckers had sunglasses on?

I have been bitching about these  assholes since the day that punk assed motherfucker Stupie McFuckwit saw fit to create that fucking vipers nest all those years ago.
Stazi anyone?

Papers citizen...

Fuck that shit.

God Damn that fucking bastard asshole and the Supreme court for inflicting that nut licker on the citizens of this country.
It will be generations before we get rid of all of his and his cronies fucking legacy and I for one, cannot fucking believe there is one dumb sonofabitch in this country who would even CONSIDER voting for another one of thoes power mad control freaks.

Let me give you a clue you fuckers, you DO NOT tell me how to live my life.
I am a full grown adult male and you can suck my fucking dick.

Update;

That fat fuck Michal Moore is addressing the crowd and just one more thought,
if the Feds are involved, some rich motherfuckers are shitting their pants over all this.

Good.

I is back

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Congressional Approval Estimated At Nine Percent

That is still fifty percent over rated.

I can't believe there is one sonofabitch who approves of our current crop of the money grubbing motherfuckers we  you, voted for doing a damn thing to do one motherfucking thing to do a Goddamn thing to help the working man,
Fuck you, Joe the Plumber,  do one fucking thing
besides try and suck off the Big Money Teat.,

Romney is a lock for the Republican nominee and I have said this before.

Perry is pissing a lot of money down a rat hole,
I don't even need to talk about the crazy bitch and Cain will be gone before January.

In the mean time, I have better things to do.

Have a nice fucking day and thanks fer stopping by.

Making Some Progress

I finally got off my dead ass and put the new to me instrument cluster in the also new to me Rat Mobile, the eighty El Camino that caused so much marital strife a ways back.

What a mess.

No gas gauge, not one dash light and all because some rookie took it out some time ago and completely destroyed a flexible printed circuit board behind it.
There are wires hanging out from under that fucker all over the fucking place.

I had to completely disassemble both of the fucking things and swap gauges, the circuit board and about forty screws and fifteen light bulbs.

I finally got the sonofabitch in and really weird shit was happening.
About six lights come on and stay on when ya turn the key on.

I don't have the faceplate and the lens in yet so I can mess with it.

I took it down to the gas station and put 32 bucks worth of gas in it until it was topped off and the fucking gas gauge still only registered 3/8ths of a tank, which disappointed me, I absolutely hate not having a gas gauge that works.

I brought the fucking thing back home and crawled under the dash again, looking at a multi colored plate of spaghetti hanging down and saw a big black one with a big brass eye on the end.

Black generally being the ground on American cars, I turned the key and touched the end to an exposed bolt and viola!,
The dash lights suddenly got really bright and the gas gauge went straight to full.

Like I said, some progress.
I bolted that wire down and will deal with the rest of the electrical problems at a later date.

My biggest concerns now are no fucking license plate light still and I keep hearing I have a brake light that ain't working.

The front seal on the crank is leaking pretty good and the first damn thing I did when I got home was to tighten an oil soaked alternator belt that squealed like a bitch all the way to work this morning.

That shit is just embarassing.

Just for fun, it got cold enough for the windshield to ice over and the heater fan has it's own schedule.

That won't be a problem after next week as the folks will be gone and I will be parking it inside a garage, right after I move my wife and kids from 85 miles away and fix that leaking seal so there isn't oil all over the floor.


Understand, I am not really bitching here, I knew this thing had issues but it starts right up and drives good.

It's a typical old Chevy and I like it.

Just for a giggle, it currently has a two tone paint job, primer grey and mostly primer black with Center Line wheels and a guy I work with has a six year old girl who loves old Hot Rods and he stopped me on the way by at work and told me that his little girl said she likes my car.

Ya gotta love it.

Good News For All You Tent City Folks

I am just going to leave the link to the story because I am so fucking disgusted at too little too late from this guy.

If ya's got something to say, get after it.

Oh ,Are You Fucking Kidding Me Louisiana?

How many brain dead mouth breathing mother fuckers do you have down there anyway?

You re elected that stupid sonofabitch Bobby Jindal?

At this point, all I can say is that you get what you deserve, ya fucking morons.

This country never ceases to amaze me with it's capacity for idiocy.

Have some more possum pie.

Fuck, REALLY?

Goddamit!
I fucking woke up at three fucking thirty in the morning last night, for no damn good reason and didn't go back to bed until seven, after several shots of whiskey.

Now I am up again at Oh Dark Thirty because some fucking ankle biter of a dog was barking it's fucking head off and I had to get up twice and open the back door to yell at the fucker to shut up.

The sonofabitch ain't in range for a good sling shot to the head either.
 A couple of doors away behind two fucking fences or it would be unconscience like I want to be right the fuck now.
 Apparently the cocksucker got the message finally.

Little motherfucker.

Of course, my dad is completely oblivious and I can hear him snoring away through the wall, God bless his heart.

Where is a fucking Ninja when ya need one?

Speak Up

Fer fucks sake, if ya take the time to stop by, you can tell me to shut the fuck up or at least leave a good recipe.

On average I get between two to three hundred hits a day and get two responses.
Don't make me downgrade to pictures of naked women, I will, gladly.

That would keep me too busy though.

Just fer shits and giggles, have some of this, I am done whining now .

Check Yer Six

As in look behind you.
B of A 's decision to transfer fifty five TRILLION dollars of toxic debt from it's Merrill Lynch division to it's own depositors to dodge millions in collateral is stinking up Wall Street.

At issue is BofA’s decision to shift what sources say is some $55 trillion in derivatives at Merrill Lynch to the retail bank unit, which houses trillions in deposits insured by the FDIC.
Critics say the move potentially imperils everyday depositors by placing their money and savings at risk should BofA run into trouble.
Sources say that the derivative transfers from Merrill to BofA’s bank subsidiary were sparked by credit-rating downgrades to the bank holding company and are meant to help BofA avoid having to fork over more money to post as collateral to its derivative counterparties.

Read more: http://www.nypost.com/p/news/business/sleight_of_hand_uy96iNSbW99JHMRnbxgvfL#ixzz1bVb3deb4

Start sharpening those pitch forks.

Ya knew they were going to try and fuck us again.

Too big to fail my ass, they need to be in fucking jail.

Seriously, when is our government going to do it's fucking job?


H/T FARK

Oh Yay

I have to drive by Best Buy going back and forth to work so I swung in there to see if my little what the fuck they call it note pad or something was fixed.
Yay!
 The hard drive took a shit.

Lost everything, which I ain't too worried about.

The bad news, the sonsabitches at Best Buy had to replace the hard drive.

Worse news, when I bought it , it had Windows 7 on the fucker and they tell me I gotta call Toshiba and order some "Recovery Discs".

Even better, that little fucker doesn't have a disc drive, so I have to wait a fucking week to get them, pay 25 fucking dollars and then take it back to best Buy to have them installed.

I told the young lady the fucker had Windows on it when I bought it from ya and why in the fuck doesn't it have it now?

Oh no,.
Then I says , you guys have Windows here don't ya?
Yes, but it is two hundred fucking dollars, my words, not hers.
So, get home and spend a half fucking hour with some dude from India, I gotta admit, his accent was Scotty next door until the numbers started getting sent back and forth, then it was obvious.

Now, I get to wait 3 to 5 days for shipping and have to take the fucker back to Best Buy to have the discs transfered to some kind of flash drive and have them get the cocksucker up and running again.

Jesus H. Fucking Christ.

The folks are headed out next week, have some carpet cleaning outfit coming on Thursday and I have to go deal with residual shit at the Weasel Den.


I had to go over there last night and dump off a ten pound bag of cat food.

The dude has moved in, it is completely different inside and he is happy.

BTW, Blogger changed their shit again and can suck my dick and Gaddafi is still dead.

I'm glad someone is....

No Access

Since I packed up all my shit out of the Weasel Den, it has been pretty spotty for me to have access to the tubes.
I need to go dig my old computer out from under the canopy of my truck.
Lots going on, been busy as hell, Please excuse my lack of posting.
I will try and get over there this weekend.
Thanks fer stopping by.


By the way, I woke up to the news that Ghaddafi is dead.
Could be a good day.

Occupy Wall Street Goes Global

Good.

It isn't like the only crooked banksters are indiginous to New York.

It is a world wide web of theivery and I am glad to see this gain strength and momentum.

As a matter of fact, right about now, my 74 year old father should be in downtown Vancouver Washington attending the protest there.

I am so proud of him.

Good on ya Pops.

If it weren't for the fact I wanted to come see the wife for a conjugal visit, I would have been standing right next to him.

Some things take precedence ya know.

All I know is what I have read as I have been sporadicly keeping up with these events but I can see at least three things.
One, it is working.

Two, there have already been changes come about politically, the PTB's are pissing down their legs because of the above point.

Three, it is bringing people who would never normally come into contact with each other close together and they all have found just how many of us are out there and Boy, Howdy, are we pissed.

All of it good, except if you are one of said Bankster or one of their hired
paid for political lackeys.

Fuck them.

So, keep the pressure on those sonsabitches and make 'em sweat.

Show them that the status quo is going to change and that it is inevitable.

When they start bailing out of the country, you will know it was all worth it.




Yes sir, we are coming for you fuckers and money won't save you, as we have seen all too many times over the course of this country, money can be taken away in a thousand different ways.

I first saw this over at my pals at Alternate Brain but I swiped it from another awesome dude, my pal Monkeyfister.

Fucking Cats

No, not mine, although that little bitch is still yet be brought here and left to fend for it's self again.

No, I made the mistake of letting my parents fucking cat in the bedroom by mistake and now here I am at Oh Dark Thirty and can barely see to type because the mother fucker wanted to go out, to do some undiscovered fucking business and now wants to cuddle.

Fuck you cat and have some fucking flying lessons.

I am going back to bed now and you can pry yourself off the wall while I am snoozing, Christ almighty, I am in such a good mood at what the fuck, ten after eleven and I have been asleep for a whopping hour and a half.

Three hours of overtime and a full schedule until the cows come home for the next several days.

Meow my fucking ass.

Git.
Gnite to you too.

Herman Cain? Really?HAHAHAHA!

Are you fucking kidding me?

Holy shit, the more I hear about this ignorant fuck, the more I laugh hysterically.


The last poll says he is a head of Willard, which just cracks my ass up.

I bet ya five bucks this ignorant fuck is out of the race by January.

Thank you Jesus, now let's find us a real candidate.

Let the most hard core out of touch and crazy motherfucking Republican bring the next craziest motherfucking Republican to the election next year and hope they stimulate the economy by spending their personal millions trying to get nominated, let alone elected to office.

The current incumbent can kiss my fucking ass too.

Damn, I Missed The Republican Debate Tonight

I also forgot to clean my fingernails.

Guess which one I regret the most, I dare ya.

Shit, Dancing With The Stars would have been more entertaining as long as I didn't have to worry about another nipple slip from that cow Nancy Grace.

George Dubbya Fucking Bush Is Glad To Be Back In Texas

That dirty sonofabitch should be glad he isn't sharing a cell with that other known War Criminal, Dick Fucking Cheney, in Leavenworth.

I can guarr an fucking tee you, those two rotten fucking pricks will be forever tattooed onto the brain pan that I still posess as the most criminal motherfuckers to walk the planet in the last twenty years.

Still supports the troops my ass.

The fact that not of that whole administration is not desparatley banging a tin cup against some seriously strong steel bars to this day, and every fucking day from now to eternity, seriously pisses me off.

Why am I hearing anything that weasel mother fucker has to say, other than, " I plead Guilty"?

Holy Fuck, Dearth Cheney doesn't even have a fucking pulse for Chrissakes...........
I know I am beating a dead horse here but for the life of me, Charles Manson has nothing on these guys.

Attention FaceBook Users.

Get the FUCK off my lawn, RIGHT THE FUCK NOW!!!

Jesus H. Fucking Christ!

OK, you people that I have never met that keep "Answering Questions" about me,


Fuck off and die.

Seriously, it is clogging up my Email and pissing me the fuck off.

I don't know you, you have never sucked my dick that I know of and I wouldn't admit it if I met ya.

Piss off.

This Facebook thing is completely out of control now and I think it just might go the way of my last meal, swirling around the bowl.

What the fuck is Farmville and why should I give a rats ass?

Quit fucking around and get a fucking life, leave me the fuck alone.

Update;

Problem solved.
This is the second time I deleted these sonsabitches and I see they made it a bit more difficult.

I will add you to the list of cocksuckers I won't acknowledge in public.

The Good News

My little Net Book is still under warranty.

The Bad News, I gotta drive clear in to Portland and find this fucking Best Buy place and drop it off and breathlessly await their decision to either fix it or replace it.

I could give a fuck one way or the other, just make it right.

It's not like I have nuclear clearance codes in the motherfucker.

They gave me a "free" antivirus disc that The Wife managed to put into it but it damn sure as hell missed something.

I actually got to talk to the "Geek Squad".

OK Dan, you have in coming pal.

Fix the sumbitch.

Old Habits Die Hard

Heh, I had to laugh.

Ten years ago I had a house that was built in the twenties and the only fucking bathroom in the joint was at the top of the stairs on the second floor.

The place had a wood fence and I would get lazy and take a piss off the back porch to save time and energy.

The G/F at the time used to throw fits about it buck fuck it, that is why God blessed me with outdoor plumbing.

Well now, the Wife and my Mother are both going have complete conniption fits but I have been miraculously been blessed with the same situation while neither one of them are here.

I was just in the kitchen trying to figure out what to make so my stomach quits growling like a tigers after a few missed hunts when I spotted their two dogs and put two and two together.

The dogs go out back to do their business, it is all fenced in, why not?


Yeah yeah, I know I am a crude sonofabitch but who the fuck will know, until I Blog
about it?

Now ya do and my bacon is cooking.
It ain't like I do it every day fer Chrissakes.

Oh,I need to wash my hands now because I will be handling food, an old habit from when I was a fry cook right out of High School.

Many, many, years ago.

Short order cook actually.

BWAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA.

See ya's.

Bye Bye Weasel Den

We spent all weekend moving shit and throwing, giving away and storing more stuff than a guy should legally be allowed to have.

I am beat and now I get the privilege to go back to the grind of work all week, then drive an hour and a half, go through all her shit, move it , drive back and go back to work again.

If I live through this month it will be a fucking miracle.

See ya's.

I'm Going Back To Bed

Fuck.
I woke up at quarter after five this morning.


Went to the bathroom and then came out to the front room and had a smoke, finished the beer I left.

My fucking big toes are all fucked up from the steel toed boots I have been wearing.

Come to find out, sometime in the last few years, my feet grew.

I wore a size ten shoe for thirty five fucking years.

Went to Portland last night after doing an internet search and found Al's Boot store.

I tried on ten different boots and every one of them was too tight before I even tied the laces.
The guy brings me a size eleven in an irregular.

BINGO!


The tongues are split on the seams in the back but I don't give a shit, they fit.

Even better, the steel toe isn't actually on the inside, it is on a flap that fits over the outside of the boot.

Thank you Lord.

We are going to the Weasel Den and starting to clean that fucker out later today.

Oh Boy, that promises to be a good time.

I can see at least one dump run in my future.

Right now it is quarter after six and I am going back to bed and snuggle with the little cutie.

Hmmm, Could Be It Ain't Over Yet

Interesting conversation tonight with The Wife.
Stubborn damn thing.

Apparently it's all about the conversing.
Who'da thunk it.

Not something I am real good at, to say the least.

Not that I am adverse to such a thing, it's more of a women's thing.
It's always about the talking.

Sorry, get me a beer and show me yer tits and you have my undivided attention.

Maybe it's more of a strategy thing.

We seem to have completely different ways of communicating.

Like I am the first dumbass to figure this out.

It's not like I don't give a shit, I just have to spend more time reading those fucking magazines that ya see when you are waiting for the fat lady and all her screaming little duplicates to get through the fucking check stand so I can crack a cold one that I seem to spend so much time looking at lately.

Whatever.

It seems I am going to get a crash course.

Just because I am a nice guy, I shared my Kit Kat with her.

BWAAAHAHAHA,
Chocolate, the ultimate weapon.....

Arguing With A Woman Is Like Wiping Yer Ass On A Wagon Wheel

It never ends.

It's like I told a guy, they always get the last word and the next thing you say is a brand spanking new argument.


I gave up on the El Camino, It just wasn't worth it.


I will pick my battles but arguing over a fucking car like that is a waste of time, there are millions of fucking cars out there.

I have better things to do.

She did apologize for hanging up on me and I will be the first to admit I am a Dick but don't expect me to change anytime soon.

I will find that 61 Falcon/ Ranchero I have been wanting and Then the game will be on.

Just fer shits and grins, she tells me she wants the keys to this blog.

Insert insanely maniacal laughter here.

I will set up her own blog but this fucker is mine, all mine, and no, you can't go there.

Honey baby, you can comment here until the cows come home but you are not going to post here, ever, till death do us part.
You, me and this Blog.

Shit, I am still waiting for the Big Black Suburbans to show up at any time and I will be looking for someone to post bail.


I will, however, consider creating a new Blog that we can do together.

If I do, you can damn be sure you want to tune into that, you can rest assured it would be.... entertaining.

And So It Begins

You know, that marriage thing.

It's been over a month now and we are having our first real disagreement.
Right off the bat, let me tell you she is absolutely right.

That, however, does not deter me

I can be a stubborn sonofabitch.

As you who stop by already know, I have been putting serious miles on my old Ford F-150, about 1500 miles a month the past few months and the damn thing only gets 15 miles a gallon.
I have a great friend who occasionally goes to car auctions and gets vehicles pretty damn reasonable so I told him I wanted some little beater with a four banger and a five speed so I wasn't getting killed on gas.

Months go by and lo and behold he calls me yesterday and tells me he has a 1990 ford Ranger that qualifies.
It ain't pretty, one door has a big dent in it and he has an early 80;s El Camino too.

Both are painted flat black primer.
I drove the Ford and it has some issues but it is a runner.

Me and him go back a long ways and cash usually isn't an issue, shit, I owed him eighty bucks for seven months and never heard a word.
I had a riding mower given to me, I gave him that and a Moped and all is good.

Anyways, we are at the folks today, helping them pack up and move a bunch of stuff into the garage before they leave and we move in and my Pal shows up with the El Camino.

It ain't real pretty but it runs good and it ain't completely beat to shit.

Disclaimer, I have been a Ford guy for many years now but I have also owned two El Camino's back in the day and loved both of 'em. A 71 and a 67, the 67 was my favorite but it had a straight six and three on the tree, something a kid under forty wouldn't have a fucking clue how to drive.

Anaway's, again, back to the current dilema, I want that Chevy now, after bitching about fuel mileage for months.
My commute is only ten fucking minutes now but the wife is throwing a fit about the gas mileage on it.

Yes, it has a four barrel carb, I made sure of that on the test drive down a residential street before I even opened the hood.

It also has a hard top over the bed and a built in water leak better known as a Sun Roof.

There are a bunch of wires hanging under the dash and no stereo but I was an automotive electrical specialist for ten years and that doesn't phase me.

My pal Steve will throw in a radio, I will trade him the old F-150 and we will make a deal.

Unfortunately, the wife seems to think this is a bad idea and she is just as fucking stubborn as I am, if not worse.

I might not get any nookie for a while but I am going to get that El Camino.

A guy has to do what he has to do.
I am keeping The Beast, my 67 Ford Highboy 4 wheel drive.
It's ugly too, paint doesn't make something like that run better or get better mileage.
9 MPG, uphill, downhill, loaded or empty, I keep it around for the nasty winters we get around here.

Do ya know anyone with too much money and not enough sense?
I have a 1964 Austin Healey Sprite for sale now. Apparently I am currently limited to two toys at this time.


2 door convertible 1275 engine bored out .040 over with less than 2000 miles , rebuilt trans, all steel tilt front end, not stock, as a matter of fact, I can think of only one bolt that I haven't taken off this car.

No interior, has a roll bar and is turn key.

She is going to pitch a fit but there is a reason I call myself the Ornery Bastard.

Any prayers for my continued safety would be greatly appreciated.

I can see sleeping with one eye open for a while is in my future.

Yes, I Am Disturbed

Fucking ear worm, this tune has been rattling around in my head for two damn days now, even in my sleep.

Your welcome.



Just fer shits and grins, here is one my favorites;

Damn I'm Tired

My first full day out in the production room.

Like I said in the last post, I have been having a hell of a time sleeping all night lately.
This morning I woke up at Oh dark fucking thirty again, 4:00 AM.

I was going to go back to sleep but the low battery warning on my cell phone started beeping and when it does that, I don't trust that little fucker as far as I can throw it.
Usually it will beep once and die.
Soooo, I laid there trying to stay awake, of course, I dozed off but my mind must have been aware of my anxiousness not to be late for a job that I just started Monday and that I am on double secret probation for the next six fucking months, so I woke the fuck back up and turned the lights on.
Fucked around on the computer trying to catch up with some of my favorite sites for a while and bailed out.

There is a reason I have left those butt munchers in D.C. alone for a while, I don't need the added aggravation right now, I have a lot on my plate as it is.

Got to work, this time only twenty minutes early instead of eleven fucking hours like yesterday, and started in.

Basically, now I am a Millwright.

It's still turning wrenches, you know, Lefty loosie, Righty tighty, but it is all on things I have never seen before so there is a steep learning curve.

Mostly, figuring out where the hell what I am supposed to be working on is because all of their machinery has a number and I have no fucking clue where that certain machine is yet and I just saw the insides of the place for the first time yesterday afternoon.

I had to take a test for confined space entry ( thank you, Demeur) and Lock out tag out protocol.

Wouldn't ya know it, first thing this morning I had to do a lock out tag out and go get an oxygen meter to go down where the machine was we were going to take out with an over head crane.

This place uses Argon gas like crazy and that shit is odorless, tasteless yet non toxic, but it is heavier than air and will collect like water in the under ground pits with grates over head.
It will fucking keeel you if it fills up the pit and displaces the oxygen and without this oxygen sensor with alarms, you won't have a clue of what is happening to you except you just feel real sick, right before you die.

Anyway's, this is getting long.
My feet are killing me from the new steel toe'd boots I have to wear and I am beat from lack of sleep.

Come to me my pretty little pint of whiskey, Daddy needs a good nights sleep.

Speaking of Daddy, today is my Dads Birthday.

I need to make a phone call.

Thanks fer stopping by.

I Hate It When That Happens.

Fuck me, what a day.

I went to that new job yesterday, only to be led to a conference room and got sat down with four fucking 3 ring binders and twelve pages of shit to look up and study.

Unfortunately, the dude didn't quite make it really clear just what it was I was supposed to look up and he disappeared.

Being the quick reader I am, I read it all.

By the way, he says there will be a test on this.

After about an hour of reading all this crap this morning, again,, it got real fucking technical, as in rocket science shit.
Some guy finally comes in and tells me I am doing it wrong and these are the things I am supposed to be reading.

Nice.

I spent all day today going over that and the rocket science part, which gave me eye strain and a huge brain fart.

Anyone out there know what the fuck 1.03times ten to the third power torr equals just how many microns of vacuum?

I sure as fuck don't have a clue.

I have worked with vacuum trucks but we always used inches of vacuum.

Then they got into about seventeen different kinds of thermo couples and just when and where they could be used and how often they had to be tested and replaced and just about then my fucking eyes glazed over.

Uncle!

Oh no, then they got into how they had to be tested and there are several different applications for these little fuckers depending on what they are wired into and how.

By now I had to go outside and have a smoke and figure out how I am going to bullshit my way out of this on the test.

I have no clue.

I kinda figured out the testing they are talking about and what it is for but fuuuuck me if I know what the fuck else they are talking about.

Two fucking days I have been going through this.

On another note, just for shits and grins, The Wife mentioned the other day how slow my new Net Book was.
She did some maintenance on it, right after I did because I had noticed it too.
Scan that sonofabitch until the cows come home and it says everything is fine.

My ass.
It up and fucking died yesterday to the point I can't even get it to start in Safe Mode.

Dirty sonsabitches that get their rocks off sending viruses, they need to be gutted like a fish.

Sure as shit, even the Windows 7 sir fixalot has no clue.

I ain't got time for that shit right now.

I tried getting this old bastard PC up and going and it gave me fits for an hour, just to find out the wireless mouse went tits up in the mean time.

Back in the truck down to Bi Mart to get a new one.
Brought it home and fucked with it for a half hour and by then I was completely whupped from the last three weeks and the stress of the new job.

Fuck it, out I went.

It was still daylight when I called it a day.

Ain't been sleeping for shit either, I keep waking up in the middle of the night and can't go back to sleep.


Ahhh, there I am, in Dream Land, all of a sudden I hear a fucking lawn mower!

WTF?

I wake up pissed clear the fuck off and roll over and it is pretty dark.

I glanced at my watch, didn't have my glasses on and was instantly pissed.

Who the fuck is mowing their lawn at quarter after seven in the morning?

I jumped the fuck up and grabbed the 18 volt flashlight and headed out the door to chew some motherfucker a new asshole when a little light went off in my head....

Quarter after seven, in the morning?

I'M FUCKING LATE!!!

Hoooly shit!
I ran back in the Weasel Den and threw my britches on and brushed my teeth, jumped in the fucking truck and hauled fucking ass.

Of course, the roads are all tore up around here and the speed limit is 45 for five miles.

I finally hit the freeway and stomped on it.

I came flying into the parking lot with the brakes trying to lock up, dove out of the truck half awake and ran up to the front doors.

They were locked.

I saw a side door open but you can't go in there without safety glasses or they will write yer ass up.

Back to the truck, dig out the tool bag, dump it on the seat and find my Stevie Wonder safety glasses and dive in.

I went straight to the conference room and, what a surprise, it was locked too.

I found some guys in the lunch room and told them I was late and needed to talk to so and so. They looked at me and said he wasn't there yet.

Now I am confused because it is quarter to eight and he starts at seven.

They get on the horn and page some other dude and after ten minutes I went and had them go to call him again because it is loud in there and he might not have heard the page.

Never mind , this guy says, we will just go find him.
Walk across the whole plant, meet the guy and tell him who I am looking for and he says, "He doesn't come in until seven".
I says, it's quarter to eight and I am late.
The guy looks at me and says, "in the morning".

The little light comes on in my head again.

I am eleven fucking hours early.

I fucking hate Fall.

Apparently that gave me enough time to come home and figure out the problem with the new mouse.

It's been a long , long, fucking day and I am going to fall down again.

The Stats Don't Lie

I can certainly tell I haven't been posting nearly as often as I used to when I see the stats for this last week, they are down by roughly half.

Hopefully I can get back into the groove here shortly now that I ain't on the road all the time.
Shit, I haven't even visited some of my favorite site myself in the last three weeks.

In the mean time, thanks to those who do stop by and I will see about getting back with the program here in a while.
I started that new job today, kinda.
I spent eight hours going through four 3 ring binders with protocals, business practices and safety procedures so I can take a test on stuff I have no idea what they are talking about.
Technical stuff I have never even heard of.

I have some confidence in myself though.
I saw some guys working there that tells me I have a pretty good chance.

Everyone I met today were all very nice and friendly, they would walk by and stop and introduce themselves and shake my hand.

That is very encouraging.

Wish me luck, I am already digging the ten minute commute, that shit is awesome.

Here We Go Again

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

On The Road Again

Fuck me.

5:30 in the fucking morning and I am hitting the road, again.
I gotta be in Eugene Oregon at 7:30 but I have plenty of time, it's about an hour from where I am right now.
Then I get to do some running around and get back in the truck and drive back to Vancouver Washington just for the distinct pleasure of pissing into a little cup.

Fuck you, Ronnie Reagan. Asshole.

I don't even remember hauling all my shit down three floors and loading it into the truck last night.
I must have known I was going to get hammered and did it before I passed out.
Good for me because I certainly don't feel like doing it this morning, the coffee hasn't kicked in yet.
Damn, I am tired.
I have been working my ass off.

Oh well, it beats laying around on my dead ass I guess.

One more road trip, hopefully, before I start the new job.

I am going to be one busy little fucker here this month.
What I haven't told you what is coming up is that I am going to be moving at the end of next month also.
My folks are going to Arizona for six months instead of the usual three and they are going to by a house down there.
Me,Mrs, Ornery and the boys are going to live in their current domicile while they are gone and pay them some rent.

The guy next to me in the trailer park is going to buy the Weasel Den for what I paid for it and in the mean time, we are going to find a place to live after the folks get back.

I am going to be just a wee bit busy here shortly.
The wife lives an hour and a half away from the Weasel den so I am going to have to rent a truck, then, I am going to have to get rid of a bunch of shit I have collected over the years again, and haul all of my shit to my folks.
The one nice thing is that that is only ten minutes from there.

So, pray for me, I am going to be one busy little dude here shortly.

I Hate It When That Happens

Holy Fuck.

I was talking on the phone to some nice young lady trying to pay those over priced motherfuckers at Verizon when I took a swig off the jug and that sonofabitch went down the wrong pipe.

FUUUUUUUUCK me!
Coughing, choking, wheezing and talking like I had a rasp ran up and down my throat ensued.

Damn, ya haven't lived until ya've had 40 proof go down the wrong way.
It'll get yer attention real quick.

I finally got enough wind to finish the conversation, I think the poor dear was going to try and call 911 for me.

I finally convinced her I was good to go.

Damn, that was harsh.

I'm just glad my seven dollar fast food dinner didn't come up.

I hate that.

The Wife tells me on the phone tonight that I am in no uncertain terms that I am going to come see her this weekend, even if she has to come get me for a round trip of over a hundred and sixty miles.

My thoughts on this are mixed.

Should she leave her panties at home or wear them so I can rip them off with my teeth?

Personally, I vote for the latter.

Ya, Ya, I am a horn dog, I know, I was a dirty old man when I was ten fucking years old and now I have perfected it into an art form.

Just for shits and grins, I have been working at a college for the last two weeks and have seen HUNDREDS of hot little nubiles walk by En Mass in their short shorts and tank tops and have not only not been slapped yet but they haven't called the cops yet. I have had several little cuties smile at me.They know, and I know, there be no touchy but it sure as hell makes an old guy feel good to have a little cutie not run away screaming while dialing 911.....

Oh yeah, I know I am married now but I can still look and I can't wait to get back and be with the hottest one of all.

Those little cuties are fun to watch but My Baby has it going on like they won't ever understand.

OHHHHHHH yeah, My baby takes Damn good care of me.


I ain't just talking shit, either.
my wife IS ABSOLUTELY FUCKING AWESOME!

I am sure there will come a day when she get's pissed off at me and I ain't a bit worried about that, I know how much it costs to get divorced and she is going to be stuck with my narrow ass, she is the one that wanted to get married.*

In the mean time it is adults only, rated "R" and y'all have a nice day!


* Take my word for it, I thought long and hard before I asked her to marry me.

Been there, Done that before.
She is a good woman.

That Was Fast!

I went to that job interview yestrday and talked to a pretty nice guy but he had a strange accent and I had trouble understanding him. He asked lots of questions too.

I have a few weak spots, I'm not a licensed electrition for one.

Well, as you can probably tell from your own experiences at interviews, I was a tad nervous.
It is a maintenance position for a company that is world wide.

Apparently I said the right things because I got a phone call from the placement agency lady a little before lunch today telling me that the interview went really well and I am to report for work on Monday!

I let out a huge WHOO HOO!

Then I toldher that it was awesome and thanked her too.
I am currently two and a half hours away from home working under a deadline that this job HAS to be done by Friday. We pulled twelve hours today and made good progress but it is going to be close.

I told the Boss Man about the news and told him I have to be back in Vancouver Friday afternoon to go piss in a cup for this outfit.
I ain't worried about the piss test, it's the getting the fuck out of here in time.

There is more to this story but that kinda lets ya know what is going on.

To say I am stoked to get a full time, long term job ten fucking minutes away from home would be an understatement.

I still have some other things coming down the tube to tell ya about but I am going to string you along for awhile until I get a battle plan hammered out.

I would like to thank everyone for their best wishes for not only my recent wedding but also for this job interview.

It means a lot to me and I want you to know that.
I have had a lot of support from people I have never met yet are people I would like to call my friends.

OK, I just put in a twelve hour shift and I am fucking beat.
I may have to do it again tomorrow but I will be doing it with a slight hangover because I am going to celebrate a wee bit before I fall down and go thud.

Thanks again fer stopping by.

Job Interview

I has one at ten in the morning.
I am really hoping it goes well too. Ten minutes from the Weasel Den, full time with Bennies and a decent wage doing maintenance work for a manufacturer.

It's kind of a weird deal.
This company doesn't do direct hiring, they use a placement company that specializes in Craftsmen.
Then, when you get placed , you work for this company but actually turn in your time and get paid by the placement agency.
If you make it past the ninety day probationary period, the company you actually work at has the option of putting you on their payroll as a permanent employee.
The lady that interviewed me said she has over thirty employees at one place that have have never been placed on the payroll and have been there over eight fucking years!
She also told me that I was qualified for three other jobs that were on her desk right that minute.

The best part is this doesn't cost me a dime.

The placement agency actually pays the benefits and if you have been working for over a year they actually pay you for two weeks of vacation.
Win, Win.

I am SO hoping to get this position.

I have a ton of other shit going on I will divulge later, I have now worked seven days in a row doing what I have been at since March, it's honest work but it can be very physical at times and involves a lot of walking back and forth at times.
I busted my narrow ass hard enough last week in some serious heat enough I had to poke a new hole in my belt.
When yer as skinny as I am, that's doing something.

So, wish me luck.

Now ya know why there hasn't been much going on around here, I been busy.

Thanks fer stopping by.

Bring Out Yer Dead

Who would have thought that folks can't afford ten thousand dollar funerals any more?

According to the USA Today, the dead tree version of the news that is afforded to me gratis at the hotel I am currently burrowed into, the entire country has seen at least a ten percent increase in unclaimed bodies and funerals for indigent people.

Increasingly, counties are opting for cremations over burials because it is cheaper.

Just in case you didn't know, if you croak and are old enough to collect Social Security, the government will pay out a whopping $250 for your remains to be taken to the local land fill.

The last I heard, it costs a grand just to be cremated.

Ya might as well just have a couple of guys dragging a cart down the street yelling out "Bring out Your Dead" like they did back in Europe when the plague was in full bloom.

Eh, just leave me out for the vultures, when I'm dead, I won't give a fuck anyway.

This is just one more aspect of the Republican plan that seems to be working a little too well these days.

Fuck You Todd

Laugh my ass off, you thought I was going to let that shit slide?

This is yer 15 minutes of fame pal.

For those of you who have no clue about what I am fucking with him for, We occasionally have reason to be aquainted with each other for extended periods of time and my friend dogs my ass constantly.

Old man jokes abound.

He is one of those guy's who fucks with ya all damn day.

Take my word for it, I give it right back, ya punk assed little bitch.

He could turn me into a pretzel if he wanted to but it is all in good fun.

He is nice enough to turn his girlfriends onto this site and some other dudes too and I have to thank the little fucker for that.
As a matter of fact, I am going to bestow upon him the coveted honorary Ornery Bastard with oak leaf clusters.

I do believe there are under five people who I have done that for.

So, here is a hearty Fuck You dude.

Lol, see ya's when I see ya's.

Rick Perry Is An Idiot

The guy is worse than Stupie McFuckwit fer chrissakes.
The more I hear come out of his pie hole the more I see a polished turd.

That guy is scary fucking stupid.

So much Fun, So Little Time

I don't know about anyone else with a Blog but I actually surf my Blogroll on a regular basis.
They are on there for a reason, because I like what they have to say and how they say it.

Sometimes because of the lack of time, I can barely get past the "B's" or the "F's". It is alphabetical.

Other times I have a bit more latitude and I can get clear to the bottom.

Just because I don't leave a comment once in a while does not mean that I ain't paying attention to what you have to say.
I am.
I do have my favorites and you can find me on your Stat Counter.

I also can't stress enough how much I appreciate your comments and feed back.
Even you, Ben Dover and the anonymous guy who keeps wanting pictures of my wife's ass.Ya gotta know I have a sense of humor too.



I would sincerely like to thank those of you who take the time to stop by my little rant hole and a special thank you to those of you who actually link to my rambling mess of the words that are available to me.

We all have our own opinions on the events that affect us every day and there are some extraordinarily articulate folks among us who have a talent for putting their thoughts into words.

Others, like me, have their own way of expressing what happens to be going through their minds in their own way, apparently, some of you reading this can relate to my mind set and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my outlook on the current clusterfuck we get to call life in this day and age.

There are others who have actually donated some serious cash money to me and I would like to take a moment to give those folks a very special Thank You, ya know who ya are.

I have been venting my spleen here and at my other site for over six years now, I kinda think that makes me some kind of author, either that or some crazy fucking bastard with a problem with letting shit go.

Either way, as long as I have access to the tubes, I am going to continue screaming into the void and I thank you for watching the melt down.
Ya know it's going to be a good time, kinda like watching a Nascar multi car smash up in slow motion.


Update;

I went out to have a smoke and ran into a couple of older gentlemen who had come out early this morning and put up the American flag along the little bit of asphalt we call Main Street around here.
They do it every major holiday as a volunteer service and you would have to be blind dumb and deaf not to know they are veterans from a long damn time ago.

I put out my smoke and helped them roll up some of the flags and thanked them personally.

The next motherfucker who calls me a traitor because I don't tow to the Republican talking points gets a broken fucking nose.

Ten Years After

Jesus Christ, they are kicking a dead horse like their lives depend on it.

I am already sick, to fucking death, of the media orgy already.
I even listened to some jack ass fucking mental health asshole expert while I was stuck in a five mile long traffic jam trying to explain how we need to speak the truth to wee little young ones about what happened on that day, before they were even born.

Listen up here folks.
I am well aware that those fuckers scored a touch down when we weren't looking and that several thousand people lost their lives and that it really fucked up thousands of families.
I wasn't there but I watched it as it happened.
My utmost sympathies go out to those who were affected by this atrocity.

The effects can still be felt.
What really pisses me off is these media whores trying to make a buck off of this travesty.

Scumbags and douchebags, every mother fucking one of them.

Now we have this "Credible Threat" they are spouting for the anniversary.

Cough it up motherfucker.

We have already lost every freedom imaginable because some scaredy cats in government positions and some freakazoids with authoritarian agendas think they know what is best for us "Sheeple"

I have news for you sonsabitches, we, as a people, ain't afraid of shit.

Bring your shit and if we find you, you are a dead motherfucker, period.

So, as this anniversary of the single worst attack this country has ever sustained on our own soil nears.
Remember those innocents who's lives were lost, also remember we have inflicted that to other countries tenfold.

We are not all that and a bag of chips.
We are human and we die just like every other citizen of any other country.

The only thing that makes us different is the whore mongering assholes amongst us who want to make a buck off of other peoples misery and suffering and business is good for them.

God Damn their souls to Hell.


Here is some other Ten Years After, as it should have been.


My condolences to the families of the victims of 9/11/ 2001.
I won't ever forget either.

Political Circus

That is what our president actually called what the fuck has been going on with our elected representatives.

My question is, who the fuck is the Ring Leader?

Pick One

I ain't going to link to a fucking thaing, It's all swirelling the terlet.

The Dow and the consumers index is trying to find the bottom of a dead mine shaft and the housing market is exactly where it was predicted to be four years ago.

Thank you Timmy and Fuck you Ayn Rand.

Greenspan is a proven idiot and the entire countries Attorney Generals are going to let the Banking thieves off yet again.

I say drag their lying asses out in the street and let's have a burn out contest, winner take all, no fucking lawyers allowed.
We get what is left in our driveways and they get the soaking wet rotten fucking mess they brought.How in the fuck are we supposed to run against quarter million dollar cars when we can barely afford the gas to even start ours?

Run what ya brung.

Every staple I find in my tire takes out two assholes and one secretary.


I may have to fire up The Beast, just for fun.

Joe Lieberman Is A Dick

No particular reason for this post other than that I hate that turncoat motherfucker with a passion and like to remind myself of that fact from time to time.

The Professional Left Strikes Again

I'm telling ya, Blue Gal is absolutely brilliant.

Talk to the fucking hand Cantor.

12%?

So,Congress is coming back in session.

I was reading the dead tree version of the local rag they call a newspaper around here and see that Congress has a whopping 12% approval rating.

First of all, I think that is a bit optimistic of a figure.

Second, just who are these 12%?

They most certainly haven't been paying attention.
12% of Americans actually approve of what Congress has done since the last election.

These people are willfully, Ignorant, Stupid, Mother, Fuckers.

The only other explanation would be that there is a fuckload more lobbyists in this country than I could ever imagine.

Even Stupie McFuckwit never got much under 28% and just astounded me even at that.

No, twelve percent tells me someone has their thumb on the scale because the current crop of dumb as rusty hammers doesn't even deserve that much.

There should be an automatic recall kill switch new election kind of thingy if their approval rate dips below Stupies all time low.

Approaching just one tenth of the population being happy should tell those dumb cocksuckers something ain't right in La La land.

Even now, they are gearing up and trying to raise money for an election that is still ONE YEAR AWAY!

This never ending vote stumping seriously affects what business they should be taking care of.
Renaming post offices doesn't do a fucking thing for this country except for some fucking painter somewhere who gets a quick name change job on the front of a fucking post office.

I don't even know why I bother to vote anymore.

Fucking bastards could give a rats ass what I think and do what their owners want without fail.
Just remember when 90% of us told them in no uncertain terms not to bail out those crooked fuckers on Wall Street?
That even beats 12% and they said Fuck You, we're doing it anyway.

Nope, unless you are a multi millionaire or a Mega Corporation, you do not exist.

They are actually afraid of the average constituent, especially when they are gathered in large quantities.
I see now some cock bite asshole representatives are trying to charge a fee if you want to talk to them face to face.
I have two words for that nonsense;

Fuck, That.

We pay your fucking salary, you arrogant fucking jack ass.
You work for us, arrogant fucking jack ass.

If I want to talk to you about something I find to be important enough to expend my energy and express my concerns to you about, you make the fucking time and effort to make your sorry fucking ass available to me, your employer.

If you have the gall to try and charge me for that, I am on the phone to the ethics committee, the same day, capiche?

That shit needs to stop yesterday.

So, as I sit here, I am still decidedly puzzled as to just who this 12% is and if they actually exist or is it a figment of someones imagination?

I seriously doubt that if I went outside and randomly asked people who were walking by whether or not they approve of the job Congress has been doing that I would find a single aye.

More than likely I figure I would encounter expressions of outrage and disgust, universally.

Who Says I Don't Have A Sense Of Humor?

This isn't starting out the way I had envisioned....

Yes, I know I am a skinny bastard and the "old " jokes are getting just that.
Quit pissing me off and get the fuck off my lawn.

Busy

Too many irons in the fire, been killing myself trying to make a few bucks.
The Good Lord willing, I need to get the fuck out of here and go talk to someone.

I haven't had the internets for a few days and now I have to bail.
My honeys is coming to see me. Bwaaahaahaaaa.

See ya's.