Wednesday, November 16, 2011

32 Screws

I shit you not, I found 32 motherfucking screws trying to get my heater core out and they were all under the hood.

The best part is, after I spent two fucking hours finding all those hidden sonsabitches, the fucking lid still wouldn't come off the heater core.

At least the fucking thing wasn't under the dash.

It was under the hood and I now have thirty two new reasons to kill every fucking automobile engineer on this planet.

Out of those 32 fucking screws that were hidden all over on a piece of plastic the size of a large pizza pan, there were ten fucking different sockets involved,.

Want to see just how much I want to eat the gizzard out of said asshole engineers?

Half were metric and the other half were a combination of what the fuck standard sockets.

Now, the best part.

While I was finding and cursing and taking out these screws, I was gently prying on said plastic part, that's how I kept finding these fucking screws.
After careful observation that there were no more screws, the fucking still wouldn't come loose with gentle persuation.

Oh, fuck, no.
The fucker came out in little pieces because the glue they used must be some awesome shit.

Now it is going to be back to a wrecking yard to the tune of a couple hundred bucks because they won't want to sell me just the lid that wouldn't come off.
Oh, fuck no.

This damn thing had A/C and they are going to want serious money for the whole heater/ A/C box and I will be lucky to find one.

Ahh well, shit happens.

I still have to yank the radiator , the fan and the crank pulley to fuck with that seal yet also.

Not bitching, just, wait, yes, I am bitching, you stupid fucking idiots that used 32 fucking screws with different head sizes and the same diameter thread size to hold down a piece of plastic that weighs five fucking ounces.

Hidden under shit I had to take off to find yet another useless fucking screw.

Y'all just line up over here and bend over so I can take three steps and kick you right in the nuts, until yer lips turn blue.


  1. any asshole that mixes metric and english fittings on a car, anywhere, not just on one part, should be slapped fucking silly and then put out in front of a NFL game with a sign explaining his sins. after he's been kicked in the balls a few hundred time by people like you and me who've had to deal with their bullshit for years, perhaps they'll rethink their jackasses ideas.

  2. Remember, those asshats went broke. Then we so kindly bailed their worthless asses out.
    It just ain't right...

  3. Extremely frustrating and why the thrill went out of it several years ago and I do not miss that type of nonsense on a daily basis. Buying another vehicle and that will create work and of course always frustration because nothing hardly ever goes the way it's supposed to.

  4. Bwhahaha! Yeah, that sounds pretty typical for a ShittyLay. One thing I like about my old Jeep Wrangler is that pretty much everything is easy to disassemble. Like taking the center panel off to change out the radio... pop the defroster bezel off (it's just clips), unscrew the two screws you'll find under there, pull the center bezel towards the rear of the Jeep (it's just clipped on other than those two schools), *DONE*.

    Phreaknik, the problem with SAE vs. metric is that some of these parts in American cars have been manufactured the same way by the same vendors for pretty much forever. For example, the door handles on my old Jeep, made in 2006, were the exact same door handles that AMC put on the AMC Hornet, made in 1970. So that's put on with SAE fasteners 'cause, duh, that's what they used back then. Same deal with all the bolts that hold the engine together, it's the same basic inline-6 engine that AMC introduced in 1964, so that's all SAE. But the EFI system is a German one, so everything fuel-system related is metric including the bolts holding the fuel pump / sending unit in the gas tank. And the fender flares are all held on by metric too 'cause that was brand new in '97 when they retired the old YJ-style fender flares to make a little more room for tires under the fenders. And then Chiseler Corporation fell in love with Torx screws and bolts so now you gotta have a set of Torx bits too, both in screwdriver size for e.g. taking the tail light lens off to change a bulb and big-ass size like for the front bumper that is held on by six big-ass Torx bolts that are the size of the average person's middle finger.

    But I can cope with all that. Those ShittyLays from the 80's, on the other hand... you look up "crap" in the dictionary, ya see a picture of'em. Just sayin' ;).

    - Badtux the Wrenchin' Penguin

  5. JC Whitney "universal" heater man. Unless you plan on putting A/C back in...

  6. Bwahhhaaahhaaaaaaaahaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!