What Passes For News These Days

Sweet Jesus, Charlie Manson got denied parole again and now Gorgeous George had a whole article describing what he bought at the fucking commissary front paged by Yahoo.
The obvious response to me is how many Fucking "Yahoo's" did it take to spend sleepless nights to deliver this earth breaking bit of information?
I could give a fuck, except I see he did buy a bar of Ivory soap.

My advice is to keep a serious grip on that motherfucker.

I Won This Battle

The war is far from over but I finally kicked that Chevy in the nuts and Fordified it.

I got on the internets and found a few cheats from other guys who had gotten tired of fucking around and figured out how to re wire a Chevy starter and the Alternator too.

A few copy paste, send it to the wife so she could print out the schematics, five trips to the parts house because I couldn't get a grip on all the little fucking electrical connectors I needed and game on.

The inside of the engine compartment looks like a nightmare but it works and I can go back and redo a bit here and there at my leisure to make it pretty again.

At least I know what goes where now.

WTF, it starts, runs and drives again and if I ever, ever, find the crack head that butchered that wiring harness, I am going to beat him senseless with his liver and string him up and choke him to death with his intestines.

The fucking shit I ran into would make a mechanic drink until he was blind.

Two, 10 gauge heavy duty wires coming from the alternator back to the starter, wrapped together and connected to a 14 gauge wire, with electrical tape.

Think of two ropes connected to a shoe string trying to pick up a rock the size of your car.

That kind of shit everywhere.
EVERYWHERE!

Everywhere I started hunting down wires, I ran into bizarre shit like that and would have to go get more wire and the correct connectors.

I got it to start and run but I am going to spending a long time going through a bunch of wiring harness'es and a ton of new wires, new connectors, harness covers, tie straps and beer until I get this fucker straightened out and looking pretty again.

It is a testament to my mechanical ability I got the fucker running at all.

Run it does though.

BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!


Kiss my fucking ass.

I do have to admit, right now under the hood it looks like a spider on acid had a field day....

Fuck You Big Daddy Google

Recently, Google decided what was best for us and enabled some weird fucking word verification that no one can fucking read without even as much as a would  ya'?

I know it pissed me off and I went and checked their questions about it page and it is obvious  most every one there is of the same opinion.

Idiots.
If it ain't broke, don't fix it, yet again.
Head, desk, repeat.

Apparently it is their solution to curbing spammers.

What I do know from personal experience, is that it frustrates the living shit out of someone like me who has marginal eyesight.

I CAN"T READ THE FUCKING LETTERS YOU MORONS!!!

Jesus H Fucking Christ.

I know for a fact that I am not the only one.

The end result being that after someone takes the time and effort to leave a comment, even if it is only to tell me to go fuck myself, and gets frustrated with the comment publishing process, they will just say fuck it and NOT SAY ANYTHING!

SOOOOOO, I have two choices here at my own little rant hole, I can either allow spammers free reign and have to go in and manually delete their verbal diarrhea,or, turn off the fucking word verification, which I just did, you are welcome.

For the love of all that is Holy, please, tell me that shit is gone in the now wide open comment section.

Oh, and GOOGLE?

Get your heads out of your collective asses and fix that shit yesterday.

Back to the drawing board boys and girls.

You Know You Have A Cat When.....

Ya wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom* and come back to realize there is an error message flashing on the monitor,
"Windows Mail Is Unable To Establish Contact As There Is Another Program Running Already"."

Half asleep, what do you do? "X" out of the fucker, again and again and again and again and again, until you look down at the bottom of the screen and see there are 375! motherfucking programs running at the same damn time!!

Little bitch has been sleeping on the keyboard again.

Can you say reboot?

Fucking cats.


* Yeah, go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, half asleep when your foot hits a soaking wet carpet.

While I was gone, I had my dad shut the water off because of the freezing weather, I didn't want something to burst while I was gone.

There were a few guy's here at the time and someone was nice enough to turn on a faucet to make sure there was no pressure left in the system.

After I got home and turned on the heat, I was bull shitting with a couple of neighbors outside and turned the water back on. We stood there and shot the shit in the cold for a minute or two before I said we need to go inside where it is warm.

That's when I heard a faucet blasting away at full pressure. I tracked it down, it was the bathroom faucet, with the plug in the sink.
There was an inch of fucking of water on the floor, pouring out into the kitchen off the step and of course, the sink was quite full.

I shut the faucet off and used every single towel I could to soak up the water.

So, of course, when I wake up in the middle of the night to take a piss, what do think happened? I stepped on a soaking assed , cold,wet carpet.

Yay.


Out goes the cat and now I have a space heater in front of the toilet, trying to dry the fucking carpet out.

That should only take three months.
It's great to be home again.

On the bright side, I don't need to shampoo that carpet I guess.

Oy, I'm going back to bed.


While I am still up, I would like to take a moment to thank a sweet lady that hit my donate button while I was gone. You know who you are and SMOOCH!,

What a sweetie.

Why Do I Smell Propane?

Guess I'll go light a smoke and find out, I know I lit all the pilot lights.
Little fucking bastard, the pilot went out for the oven.
What, you look like you are surprised you didn't hear a big boom.
Yeah, I lit the fucker, my buddy Steve was sitting right in front of me when I did. Thank goodness, it is a little tiny one. I have fallen asleep with a stove burner on before with out it being lit, ya really don't want to do that. Thank God I am up above the stove and this joint has a draft or two.The gas flows down hill and a good fart sends it elsewhere.
For some damn reason, the oven light went out. I haven't been here in a few days and this place is getting old.
I re lit it, turned the oven on a couple a times and shut it off, the pilot is still going. Just for good measure, I lit off the furnace. That should have lit the place up but it is all good.
Ya gotta love living dangerously.

Quit worrying fer chrissakes, it was just a little whiff here and there.
I thought the cat was especially glad to see me after four days.
See ya's tomorrow, maybe.
LOL!
Shirley, you can't possibly believe you are going to get rid of me that easy...

Seriously, Propane, Natural gas, Kerosene, Gasoline, Coleman White Gas, none of that kind of petroleum liquid fuel is to be taken lightly, it can burn you to a crisp or blow you to an early meeting with your maker.
I kid around a bit but I have been messing with this stuff for years now. Let me tell ya, I have had my eyebrows singed off more than once.

Disclaimer;
If you smell rotten eggs , get the hell out of there.
Bad things are brewing.
For your Grand childrens sake, never, ever, ever, clean parts in gasoline, never clean parts in solvents without proper ventilation, proper protective equipment like rubber gloves and face shields and extreme attention to sources of flame, like a fucking a pilot light in a gas fired hot water heater or some idiot standing next to you smoking a cigarette and for my sakes, do not listen to what I say and do, I like you guys and I am just being a smart ass.
Nothing I do or say should ever be used as a measure of what is safe and what isn't. If, I am running my yap, you can bet your ass it isn't safe.Run the fuck away.
BTW, keep all yer fingers and toes, I don't want to have to pick your nose for ya.

Sometimes, I Can Be A Real Idiot

So, after I finally got vertical , about two fucking thirty yesterday,me and the roomie go down to the laundromat to wash some clothes.
We go in there and acquisition seven or eight washers and then proceed next door to a very convenient bar. Walking around the corner,I see about fifteen Harley's parked in front of the joint, a bunch of biker chicks standing around talking to their boyfriends and one vertically challenged dude standing right in front of the front door, talking to an older couple who looked like they were on vacation from Arizona. The older guy even had the shorts and the knee high socks.

Anyway, I went to go around them and said my apologies for interrupting and the little biker dude asks me what I am riding.
WTF?
I told him I ain't riding anything, I am doing laundry next door and go around him.
I get inside and go to the bar and tell the very blond and hugely breasted young lady that I would like a pint of Flat Tire beer and proceed to tell her about my experience trying to get in the joint. When she turns around and looks at me,she says, maybe it's because you are wearing a black leather jacket and a tee shirt underneath that says Sturgis?

DOH!!

I told her it was the only fucking clean Tee shirt I had left and walked away.
I have never been to Sturgis, my old man went there a few years ago and brought me back this lousy Tee shirt!

Just my luck.

Some day I'll have to tell ya about the time I was sitting in a very dead bar in San Hozay, it is so quiet all you can hear is some cars going by once in a while and the flies buzzing around, and a few stools down, this old biker dude finally pipes up, we are the only ones in the place, and asks me if I have ever been in the joint.(prison)
I says no and he says, in a VERY gravelly voice, " Well, ya just kinda got that look about ya".

Apparently, I need to have a serious fund raiser and get me a fucking Harley.