Travel Day

Nasty Girl was due to go home today, when we left here and went through the Gorge a few days ago, we missed getting blasted with a snow storm by mere hours.

Of course, it dumped more snow again last night. We went to my families Christmas party yesterday and had a great time.
The food? OMG!

Just the appetizers were off the charts.The guy is a murderous fiend when it comes to hunting and fishing. Antelope sausage with cheese and jalapeno's, Summer sausage made out of Elk, pepperonie ALA Antelope, Antelope Jerky, cheese out the wazoo. That was just for starters. Turkey, six dufferent kinds of salad, some awesome bean soup, I do need to hold my brother down and get that fucking recipe, some kind of Texas,/ BBQ kind of thing and a completely delectable roast beef. Oh, my, that was perfect.
Cooked to a beautiful rare, sliced thin, almost like thick cut bacon strips, and totally gone in sixty seconds.

Fuck, my mouth is watering just thinking about it.
My little cousin and her husband have a fabulous, huge, house. It was freezing ass cold and the wind was, the only way I can describe it, howling and biting. Two minutes outside to huff half a smoke and the cold would radiate off my leather jacket.

We do a White Elephant give exchange for the adults which is absolutely hilarious. Everone gets a number, the very first one has the ability to exchange his or hers at the end, IF, it hasn't already been stolen three times.

I ain't kidding, this gets vicious. Collaboration between husband and wife, Boyfriend and girlfriend and cousin against cousin.

There is actually quite the game of strategy that has developed over the years.
Everything is twenty five bucks or less.

Note to self, just go to the fucking likker store and throw it in a dollar store bag.

Lottery tickets and booze are the hot ticket items.

Needless to say, after I had the folding fishing pole swiped from me, never to return, I wound up with a tin of three kinds of popcorn. I was being nice, the fucking tequila was long gone.

Of course, I was dressed as nice as I ever do, which ain't that much. No blue jeans allowed say's she and didn't think about the cold. No T shirt, no Long Johns. The Girlfriend was smoking hot in her outfit, dress, and stockings, nice blouse. She was freezing her cute little ass off too. We actually went out to the car to have a smoke because there was no fucking way we were going to stand in that Arctic Blast.

Natuarrly, we left right before it got dark and it started to snow. Forty miles away from home and it snowed most of the way home.


Long story short, Nasty Girl was freaking out about the weather conditions coming back this way and we monitored them half the night and this morning.

When I saw Black Ice warnings, I made the decision for her. You ain't fucking driving home.

So we bailed out a bit late and then argued about what route to take. I made up my mind and told her to hold on and watch the bitching.

I would have been worried sick about her driving in that shit and we did hit some nasty shit. I just drove nice and slow with both hands on the wheel, don't tell my guy friends, guys are supposed to drive with one hand only.

We got here and more of that white shit is scheduled but snow doesn't bother me, it's the fucking ice.

By the way, Oakland beat Denver's ass yesterday and her Vikings are getting their asses kicked as I type.

LMFAO.
 I have a nice cold beer, a few shots lined up, a hotty G/F who is still alive and life is good.

Remind me to tell ya about her shit head little sister who talked her little shit kid into fucking with our Facebook profile pictures. Mine got changed to Sarah you know who and hers got changed to Obama. The kid has already had his ass beat for his trouble.

Thanks fer stopping by and Happy Holidays to you all.

I still have a couple of you out there that I am still praying for.

Escaping The Velvet Chains

As much as it pains me, I have to go.

Nasty Girl is currently distracted and I have to load up the little hoopty and beat feet.

It is currently sunny and clear outside so I am going to haul ass before the weather turns to shit again, not that I actually, really, want to go. I gotta take care of my shit at home but this has been one hell of a week.

Damn, this girl takes good care of my sorry ass!

I try to return the favor.  Her neighbor was in town yesterday when I couldn't even get out of the fucking driveway and was nice enough to stop at the likker store for me so when I  started making fresh, home made  English muffins with the left over sharp cheddar cheese, a nicely fried egg and some of that delicious spiral cut ham we still had left, I made enough to go around both house holds. Damn good, if I have to say so myself. Y'all know what they call 'em. I made one extra and a ham and cheese sandwich for the road. I'll stop at Mickey D's after I hit the road and get a cup of coffee to wash them down with. That's a shout out to my pal  down Texas way, Coffee with the Hermit, Jim.
One hell of a nice guy.
He always has a pot on.

Any way, I needs to get my poop in one pile and throw it in the truck.

 Loves ya Nasty Girl, I know damn good and well you will read this after I hit the road.

Catch yer breath and wish me luck.

Thanks fer stopping by, I gotta split while the getting is good.

A special shout out to my buddy Steve and a neighbor or two, plus my folks for taking care of my shit while I was a willing prisoner here.

Another special thanks to my brother Kevin.

You all know who ya are.

Thank You.

To the rest of ya's
 get the FUCK outta my way.

\

I'm going home.

Snowbound

I have been over here at my GF's for a week today. I came up last week when this fucking weather hit and can't get out of here. All I have here is a two wheel drive truck with no studs.

It snowed, then the freezing rain hit and it is snowing again.

I can get to the little convenience mart about six blocks away just fine, it's that Damn Columbia River Gorge that I can't get through She lives at one end and I live at the other.

Once that bitch freezes, it's studs or cable chains. They end up closing the highways on both sides of the river when it gets bad. It can take days after a cold spell to flush all the cold air out of it. 75 miles long.

I't's "supposed" to be clear tomorrow. We shall see. I have been having to call my buddy Steve to keep an eye on my place. None of my fucking neighbors have a damn phone..  It looks like I am going to have to put tags on The Beast because it at least has four wheel drive.

A set of chains for that fucker are around a hundred bucks but it is fairly dependable. I keep forgetting the speedometer doesn't work though.

If all else fails and I can get the seven miles across the bridge to town, I can use her tire store account and have them throw a couple of studded tires on the back of my little hoopty. I hate to do that.
Fuck me, I hate Winter and it's not even Winter yet!

Anyways have some of this that was going through my evil little mind this cold assed morning.