Saturday, September 25, 2010

A Suggestion For The Cell Phone People.

Jeeze, these fucking things can be annoying. People calling me and shit, waking my ass up and generally pissing me off.

Speaking of which, the mother fucker just went off again!
Holy Fuck!
Ok , here's the deal.
I want a great big FUCK YOU button on the front of this damn thing.
All I want is to have to push this one damn button and it automatically sends that brief message to who ever is fucking trying to call me.
Fuck you or Fuck off, either one would work.
It all ready tells me who is calling most of the time.

I had some asshole cock sucker kept calling me from Chase bank about some serious debt problem.
 I ain't had this fucking phone long enough to get into more debt.
I finally answered the god damn thing and pushed 9 so I could wait for some sonofabitch to actually get on the fucking phone so I could chew his fucking ass.
Oh, did I.
Of course, they were looking for the guy that had this phone number before I did, they recycle the fucking things.

By the time I got done with that fucking little prick, he was practically begging to get off the line.

See how much easier it would be if I just had that huge FUCK YOU button?
It would save everyone valuable time and aggravation.
Maybe I should talk to a patent attorney first, I could make millions.


  1. It does have an off button. But I'm liking the fuck you button idea!

  2. Anonymous5:26 PM

    i love the idea!! and yes do talk to the patent atty.

  3. Margot5:57 PM

    Love it.
    IN FuckYou 2.0, you could roll out the ever-popular "You can't get blood out a fuckin turnip! HAH".
    I can see a lot of use for that.

  4. Anonymous6:29 PM

    Yeah, right on OB!
    A few times I was passing a comment at stores when u do with ur "plastic" pocket bank magic swipe. There menu at the end asking "Would you like cash back?" And there 2 convenient buttons: "Yea" and "Nay". And I suggested to make one bigger then these 2 combined: "Hell NO!!!" But on the phones - Yes, it should come up as a feature "to be installed upon request by owner" to not offend minorities and under-aged.
    I was trying to verify some "courtesy"shipment out of T-Mobile that offered me bc they screwed initial shipment. Fucks tuned they fucking robotic shit so tightly. Holy Fuck. Instead of endup in peacefullest Sat Morning I wasted fucking 30 minutes dickng with cocksuckers in 5 different "transfers". And guess what at the end? They were sorry-assed and proudly "assured" me that damn shit will be in the mail next 48 hrs. (Just like the first time).
    I need that FU button!!!
    Josie, The Angry T-Mobile customer

  5. Anonymous6:40 PM

    Although, there is available feature - targeted answer messaging. You may turn it on with grace: "Hello there My Great Patriots (or just folks)! Thank you for your continued and unprecedented efforts to keep me awake. Please choose from the following..." And then by option 1, 2, and 3 (or more) u set some very distinctive and emotionally charged "greetings" for each.
    For instance.
    Option 1. "If you're an agent calling from (so and so) institution, please (U Dumbassed shithole) listen to the end of this fucking message. Go and ...fuck ... and suck ...". Well, u have an idea.
    And then respectfully "option 2" and 3 and so on. You can name these option, so assholes and /or cocksucker's will jump right into the bash and enjoy they part of a day.

  6. hey busted -- my cell phone gives me a choice when it rings to answer or to ignore the incoming call.

    i figure that ignore is a fuck you dressed up a little prettier.

  7. I bought a new cell phone last year and the number they gave me was the number of a guy whose teenage son had used the number for buying Vicodin & Oxycontin from overseas "pharmacies," so I got calls from Pakistanis several times a day asking me if I wanted to renew my prescription. Eventually, I just bought a new phone and the problem went away. One thing you might try is to get one of those air horns they use at track meets and blast it into the receiver.

  8. I still get calls after having this # for 3 years. Collection calls. In Spanish. lol