Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Biologically Impossible Arizona Law

OK, now they have just ran full tilt off the cliff of crazy.

Arizona lawmakers gave final passage to three anti-abortion bills Tuesday afternoon, including one that declares pregnancies in the state begin two weeks before conception.

My bold.

Um, excuse me, It is my belief there has to actually be coitus, ejaculation of sperm by the male, a fertilized egg available by the woman and one lucky sperm cell penetrating said egg cell for there to be a pregnancy.

Apparently some ignorant fucking idiot believes this happens before the slut even meets the horn dog and a date for dinner has been settled on.

There hasn't even been one complimentary drink been served.

My question is, how this supposed fucked up stupid, ignorant fucking law can declare a pregnancy TWO FUCKING WEEKS before any of these things happen?

Well step right up and behold the math skills of the Republican party;

The 18th week bill includes a new definition for when pregnancy begins. All of the bills passed the Senate and now head to Gov. Jan Brewer (R) for her signature or veto. Passage of the late-term abortion bill would give Arizona the earliest definition of late-term abortion in the country; most states use 20 weeks as a definition.

A sentence in the bill defines gestational age as "calculated from the first day of the last menstrual period of the pregnant woman," which would move the beginning of a pregnancy up two weeks prior to conception.

My bold yet again.

Get that?

I try to look down your blouse and you are automatically pregnant if we hook up TWO FUCKING WEEKS LATER.

These people are a danger to society, period. Tell me again how there is no Republican War On women.
Out of control societal trolls with what they deem as unlimited power to control women's bodies.
There should be recall petitions flying.

After all the extremest political positions that have come out of Jan Brewer's administration, this one is over the top.
Throw in Joe Arpaio and all the crazy illegal shit he has pulled and I vote we do what the neighboring countries did to Malia recently and close the fucking borders with that state. No fuel, no fresh vegetables, no electricity and no quail wings for those insane motherfucking Republicans.

Nobody in, nobody out.
Sorry for your luck touristy people but you just might be carrying some extremist ideas back out and that would make you a Domestic Terrorist.


  1. I feel like I am already pregnant, and I didn't even have sex. Maybe there really is immaculate conception. Where's my complimentary ultrasound?

  2. As fucked in the head as this bunch is, that would fall under Socialism.

  3. That's why little money is spent there by me and hope others do the same.

  4. Ha! This means all women of child-bearing age are theoretically pregnant! Even virgins! Does this mean none of us can drink booze? After all, we might harm our theoretical fetus. If a man strikes a woman and she turns out to have a period in a few weeks, can that man be charged with manslaughter of the theoretical fetus?

    My only contact with the state of Arizona will continue to be layovers at that accursed SkyHarbor.

  5. Anonymous11:38 AM

    They took their date from the (somewhat silly) habit of obstetricians of beginning the pregnancy 'count-down" of the "40 week pregnancy" with the beginning day of last period. 'Course, the docs do that because it is really the last date that they KNOW for sure she was NOT pregnant PRIOR to that day.

    Why fucking Arizona decides to do it that way for an abortion law....well, that is a bit more nefarious and disingenuous at once.

  6. Jeebus!! Been to Arizona once - never goin' back; fuckers are totally 'round the bend, off the wall certifiable.

  7. I have a winter home in AZ and intend to register to vote down here as a first step to getting rid of this gathering of neandrethals. Watching the evening news out of Pheonix is like a trip back to 1880, especially when Sheriff Joe is the subject. Repugnant election TV ads all portray the candidate as a "successful business man". The current group of legislators used the same ads to put us down the shit tube we are now in.....

  8. Next up, the Arizona legislature re-defines the governor to be a vegetable. Hey, just as reasonable as re-defining a not-pregnant woman as, well, being pregnant, yo!

    - Badtux the Baffled Penguin