Wednesday, December 15, 2010

The Power Of A Smile

Ok, I can be a grumpy fucking bastard, that is a given.
I can also be a nice guy, don't you fucking tell anyone.

The GF and I were at The Big Store yesterday, getting some shit for dinner, oh and beer too.
I noticed all these people were all looking grumpy and afraid, seriously, no one even wanted to make eye contact with each other and studiously avoiding each other, when there were at least two hundred fucking people in this store.

We had her Autistic son with us, who is basically harmless but he is a big dude, full grown at about two hundred pounds and twenty seven years old, he is still like a little kid and wanders off constantly.
That means we are constantly having to look around and say, about forty times per visit, where the fuck is he now?

He doesn't get too far but it is just something that we need to be aware of.
Any way, back to my point.
In having to bump around and move the cart every ten seconds, I was doing my best to be polite, excuse myself for being in some ones way, excuse me, let me move my cart, etc., etc.
I always smiled at who I was talking to, little kids, little old ladies, Gentrified old gentlemen, harried mothers trying to get something for dinner and having to keep the kids under control, the same thing every one of us has to deal with. Pretty soon, I started noticing that when I was being polite and smiling at all these different people,I noticed every, single, one of them went from scowling, to smiling back at me.

I shouldn't be so amazed but, I was.

It was amazing.

The little old ladies perked right up, the little kids eyes lit up, the old gent stood up straighter, I really can't put it into words but I finally ,just realized it.

I have to admit, I have also noticed that getting to be an old fart has it's advantages.
The little cuties smile back at you too.

That's always a bonus.

I have always, since being a little ornery bastard, been told that I have beautiful eyes.

The girls in school used to have fits because I have naturally long and thick eyelashes, which they reminded me of while putting some kind of shit on theirs with the little brush thing.

I guess it is the getting old thing, if I try ,just a little bit, I can smile with my eyes and not say a fucking word.
A little bit of pleasantry to go with that, and I just changed some ones whole outlook on life. It is absolutely fucking amazing.

Actually, I don't have to try, it comes naturally.
I am a flirt by nature and I have always had a soft spot for little old ladies and babies.

It's the fucking Boy Scout in me I guess.

Like I said, the cuties are just a bonus.

Take  a fraction of a second and smile at someone with out saying a word the next time you are out and watch what happens. Then do it thirty more times in one store and really watch what happens after that.

Someone should do a documentary on that.

OK, enough with the happy happy huggy crap. Back to being a grumpy assed curmudgeon in 3...2..1..


  1. There was some psych department from one of the big important schools (so important I cannot recall their name) that sent students out to do an experiment - stand in a public place (street corner, supermarket, public park)smile and look people in the eye, then doument their reaction.

    As I recall, most folks smiled back. It's instinct - we WANT to be happy...sometimes we just need a kick-start.

    Seems you've run into the same phenomenon.

    Shade and Sweetwater,

  2. you do have great forking eyes dood


  3. Anonymous2:17 PM

    wouldn't know about the eyes thing dude. known you for 42 yrs but I will say that to be around you in person, that you do give off the I'll help you across the street vibe. You always have. Which might have something to do with your current GF status. Will see you on sunday.


  4. YEp, it's amazing what a smile and some small talk can wrought when yer out in the public as you describe.

    I just had to deal with the medical community lately (and will do so more).

    They are so fucked up communication and operational wise (this fucked up communicatiion extends into the operating room, trust me) it's a wonder MORE don't die once they enter their bowels.

    However, my point to your post is that I HAD to be adversarial to establish a base point. And let them know I was MORE hip than yer average patient about the issues at hand.

    Once I set the stage of them worried about me (legal issues worries them mostly, then fear for their jobs in that order), n we got thru the surg part . . .

    Now I'm all about sweet=ness and light.

    And it's working so well . . . I am praising all those who deserve it (they know we fill out a survey about all of this soon, heh heh heh) and I'm squeezing info out of them I bet they never give away.

    But to the gist of yer post . . . yes, this time of year a smile and kind eyes can transform some others having hard times.

    Good on ya, Busted . . . good on ya and a lesson for us all to emulate.

    Bravo, hoss.

    Best to you and yers.


  5. Dammit, shoulda said ANY time of year, a smile works magic when employed, not just this time of year . . .

    Happy Happy to all.