Tday

I hope you had a good one.

The GF went all out again.
She has been fighting a migraine for three days, poor thing. I have slept 18 of the last 24 hours and a bunch before that.

Out cold.

Back later.

Are You Fucking Kidding Me?

Four mother fucking degrees?
Four.

What the fuck is this, Siberia?

That's the forcast for tonight.

It already snowed like a bitch all night and half the day.
The kid opened the door for about three seconds and a blast of frigid air came blowing in.
My little Willy went directly behind the front pocket of my jeans.

It is brutally fucking cold out side.

We lost power for a couple of hours last night and this joint only has electric baseboard heat.

Thankfully it didn't get uncomfortable before the lights came back on.

We would be huddled under blankets shivering our asses off if that happened again tonight.

This is threatening to fuck up our holiday traveling plans. Can't much go visiting relatives if ya can't get out of the fucking driveway.

Not much point in bitching about it anymore, it isn't going to change anything.

I'm going to go snugggle with the Nasty Girl, see ya's.

BTW, I have no god damn clue why this thing is High lighting and for the life of me, can't figure out how to make it stop.

Fucking Idiots, Ya Been Asking For It

http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/world/la-fg-1124-korea-shelling-pictures,0,5522606.photogallery

I do believe that some little fucker needs to have his ass handed to him.
Quit fucking around and help him out.
The Republicans will lap it up like a shit eating dog and what the hell, we need to go to another war anyway, right?

That's what I keep hearing.

Oh, wait, It's not Iran, my bad.
Fucking jerks.

I can see what's coming a mile away.

Fucking attention whores.

 Can't we let what's her name out of treatment a little early and ship her narrow ass over there so the National Enquirer can save some air fair?

Go See JP

Like a lot of folks of late, I don't seem to have a lot of discrecionary cash to splash around.

If ya got ten bucks to spare, go get Jurrasic Porks latest book on Kindle.

I can tell ya from reading his stuff for the last few years, the guy is good.

Damn good.

He is the conscience that a certain segment of society needs to have their fucking nose rubbed in.
A good man, stop by and give him a hell yeah, a little hope goes a long fucking way sometimes.

Outta The Park

Froomkin knocks the hide off the ball with this one.

Somebody is still paying attention.

Grab a cold drink, go to the bathroom and then sit down and read this whole thing. I am dead fucking serious, READ IT!

Without question, he reinforces with facts why I believe that dirty sonofabitch George Bush jr. should be in fucking jail.

Umm, Yeah, About That Security Thing

Need I say more?
Oh no ,you can't see any details from these scanners, they don't save any images and I will bet they don't trade them like baseball cards either.

On top of that, we get to hear some arrogant fucking shit like this too,

What do you want to do, get blown up by a goddamn Arab at 30,000 feet or we get to see your private parts? It's up to you, the ball's in your park," head of the TSA's scanning department, Rodney Schroeder, told CNN.



Yeah, that's some public relations for ya, ignorant fucking asshole.

Suck my fucking dick you rotten sonofabitch.

I have a better chance of getting hit by lightning than getting blown up by some camel jockey.

Fuck you, corporate cum bucket.

Some Times I Can Be An Idiot

God dammit, I am cussing at myself right now.

I came up here to the girl friends and didn't bother to get any propane to keep the Weasel Den going.
Checked the weather and Holy Shit!

It's supposed to get down to 15 fucking degrees tomorrow night.
That's where I live. It's already fucking freezing here and I don't have studded tires.
75 fucking miles away and it's not supposed to thaw out until Thanksgiving.

I tried getting a hold of every damn neighbor I could, plus my Buddy and no luck. I finally resorted to calling my Dad.
He had to drive ten miles to my place, doesn't know where the fucking propane tanks are, found them and then went down the street to get them filled.
Goddamn neighbors weren't home either. The Chevron has a four fucking thousand gallon propane tank and they told him they were out.

Suuuuure.
He went to another joint and they told him the same story.

I am thinking there are some lazy bitches that don't want to go out in the cold.
he is 73 fucking years old and can't see shit when it gets dark.
So, he went home and got my Mom to drive and two fucking hours later, they are still fucking around with this.

Fuck.

I thought I had a buddy staying there while I was gone to take care of the cat but fuck no.

There are going to be some fucking beatings handed out when I finally get home.

In the mean time, I am worried sick about my folks, out there fucking around trying to cover my ass in the dark.

Fuck me.

Have Somma Dat

I watched the game, the Raiders lost theire asses but  this was worth it.
 Fucking Priceless.
Here's an AttaBoy Motherfucker!

I have watched this at least twenty times and I am still laughing my ass off.

Yippee KiYay MotherFucker

Bruce Willis as you never would imagine. The old man can wail on a harmonica!

Stay outta town you fucker, my old lady tells me you have a nice ass and you are a sexy mother fucker. All I know, you play a mean harmonica dude.
Oh, and I like yer movies too.

You are a mans man, I have to admit.

Get after it son.

Something you would never have guessed,  Bruce can just wail on that sumbitch.

This is good.

This will surprise you.


All that and he kills bad guys in his spare time.

Epic Jam

Ya, I'm still at the Girl friends, she is so fucking awesome, she made a whole thanksgiving dinner, just for me!

Have somma dis,



Just because I like you, here is a bonus.



Have some dessert, I insist.

Have Some More Of That Shit

Now, ya want to hear some sexy shit?

 Boy howdy, I just did.
Grab yer wimmins and fucking get after it, this is some serious shit.

I kid you not, if you don't like this, there is something seriously wrong with ya.

Get Yer Women Right Now.

I deleted a post awhile back about Dick Sticking Music because I didn't want to embarass anyone.

Fuck that, get yer honey naked and play this really loud.


Now go have a drink and a smoke. play with her nasty bits while you are relaxing and then have some of this shit,




It works, trust me.

More TSA Insanity.

Remind me again how these stupid fucking morons are supposedly keeping us all safe from each other.

This is so far beyond ridiculous it should be criminal.

Yes, I know it is a Winger site.
It should startle someone when they figure out where the traffic is coming from and that is enough for a chuckle out of me.

I told ya I'm ornery.



That isn't the point.

The point is, these retarded fucking idiots at the TSA are so programmed that the obvious goes right in front of their faces and they don't blink an eye.
How fucking stupid does one have to be to get one of these jobs?
Is there like, twenty short yellow buses out back for these fucking cretins?

Do they have Velcro shoe laces?

Do they push on the glass door every day that has a big sign that says PULL?
The absolute stupidity of this flat out boggles my mind.

Stew-Pid- IT -EE.
Ya know the dumb sonsabitches can't spell.
It's amazing they remember to breathe.

These complete dolts are our first defense against terrorists entering the country?

Now I am very afraid.


H/T Fark

Are You Guys Out Of Your Fucking Minds?!!

You have GOT to be shitting me if this is true,no wonder the British are doomed.

Seriously, one third of the  men in that country, who obviously have security issues, would dump their girl friend for giving another woman the tongue while giving them a kiss?

Are you fucking CRAZY?

I want to take PICTURES!


Insecure mother fucking douche bags! Turn in your Man Cards immediately, I want to know how you got one in the first place!

Go jump off a fucking bridge, make sure your hair is perfect first.

Pussy mother fuckers, you are a disgrace to Mankind.

Let me guess, these guys are Metro sexuals and can't stand the competition.

Nasty girl, here I come.

Verizon Can Suck My Ass

Ohhhh, this has been coming for a while.

Wait for it.

I originally got a Verizon air card a couple of years ago when I still had a laptop. I'll be the first to admit I thought it was way cool that I could go any where there was a cell phone signal and get on line. I still think that is cool.

Unfortunately, my lap top took a major shit.

Then I hooked up an old PC and plugged it in and away I went.
Originally, it was like $59 bucks a month, for two years. It started creeping up to, I dunno, $62 a month.
Last year at this time, I was lying flat on my back, so sick I thought I was literally going to die. It took over two months to get over what ever the fuck it was I came down with.
While I was laying here, I entertained my self on the internet.

All of a sudden, I couldn't get connected.
So I fucked around and I fucked around, trying to figure out what the fuck was wrong.

I finally called the sonsabitches and went through a big hassle of diagnosing the fact that my air card had died.
The little thingy you plug into yer USB port.
By now I am sick AND pissed off.
I drug my sick ass out of bed and went the two blocks down the street to where I bought the motherfucker, to be told it was out of warranty and they don't sell that shit anymore. Now I AM pissed.
I get directions to the nearest Verizon store and get in my truck and drive fifteen miles away, the whole time my head is spinning and I think I am going to pass out.

I get there and these young little gen X'ers are all over me. I tell them my problem, they tell me the fucker is out of warranty, I explain I already know that.
I tell them I am sick and possibly contagious and the game plan changes immediately.

A new air card is $80. Fine, get one now. Soon enough, I am handing over my debit card and signing a receipt.

Off I go and yadda fucking yadda, I finally get set back up.

What the dirty cocksuckers didn't bother to tell me, was that they renewed my fucking contract for another two years.
I found this out after I started having problems again last summer and had to call the fuckers again. I wanted to get rid of the bastards then but Oh, Hell no, it was going to cost me another $120.

So I said fuck it and just kept paying them. Next thing I know, my bill has gone up to $72 fucking dollars a month on a $59.99 a month plan!
I bitch but I keep paying.

I am on the internet all the time when I ain't working or at the club having a few.

Then I lost my job.

This is where it gets interesting.

A month later, I get the $72 bill for the internet.
I'm thinking I can't afford that shit on unenjoyment so's I call them up and tell them I want the cheaper plan. The lady tries to talk me out of it, citing I used blah blah blah, so many bites or some fucking thing. I said I can't afford that shit anymore, so she say's OK.
Fine. This is after my Girl friend bailed my ass out with these pricks to the tune of damn near a hundred and fifty bucks in September.

Now that I am not working, I spend WAY too much time surfing the net apparently.

My bill, for ONE MONTH , came to $268!!

That is no typo, TWO HUNDRED and SIXTY EIGHT MOTHER FUCKING DOLLARS!!

For one month of internet service.

Gee, ya think maybe I thought there was some kind of mistake?
Oh, HELL NO!
You bet yer ass I called 'em and bitched. The $39.99 service only covers so many blah blah blah bites or some shit and they start adding up at so much per bite when ya go over.

It seems I went WAY the fuck over.
So I called 'em and I threw a complete fit. I realize it isn't the young lady on the phone that caused my grief and I told her that but God DAMN was I mad!
So I bitched and bitched and bitched some more.
She tried to explain to me how their billing process works and it went clear over my head, I was so pissed.

I handed the phone to my girl friend and she finally figured it out.

Needless to say, I told her to change my plan back immediately.

Seeings how it was still the first week of the month, she said she could do that retroactively and was nice enough to give me a 35% discount on this enormous fucking bill.

Now it is only $195 bucks..
I feel so much better now.

NOT!

Dirty fucking bastards, after the first of the year, I am going to give them their $120 bucks to cancel this fucking contract they extended without telling me and calling those other cocksuckers at ComCast.

I hate those fucking bastards too but I have limited choices in this little podunk town.

At least it won't be Dial Up.

Dirty fucking bastards, all of 'em.

Merry Christmas!

Please lord, make it go away.
Fucking greedy bastards, the advertisements and the decorations showed up before Halloween.
Thanksgiving isn't until next week for God's sake.

That alone is a logistical nightmare.
Go to the folks and eat and then fend off a turkey induced coma long enough to drive fifty miles and go to the girl friends parents to fall down on THEIR couch!

Christmas is going to be mean and lean this year.

" Times are tough and I have no job so here is your fucking Christmas card" kind of shit.

I did manage to find enough scratch to go to the local Bi Mart and get a fucking space heater.
We shall see how long this Made In China mother fucker lasts this time, I am saving the fucking receipt.
It ain't even winter yet and it is already getting cold in the old Weasel Den.

I have the sliding doors to the "bedroom" almost closed, just enough for the fucking cat to squeeze through and the little bastard heater is running hard already. I can't wait for the power bill.

Off and on, Off and on. Noisy little fucker too.

Not the cat, I have that little bitch trained real good.

She meows twice and I am up and opening the door.... wait, who has who trained?
At least I don't have to fuck with the god damned cat box much.


It ain't the heater element or the fan that takes a shit in these things, it's the cheap assed switches that go to hell all the time. I had my folks get me one of those oil filled radiator heaters for Christmas a couple of years ago and it melted the switch in three months.
Long after anyone knew where in the hell the receipt was. I tore it apart and fixed it once but it burned up again shortly afterwords so I threw the cocksucker out and went and got a mean mother fucker of a propane fired warehouse heater.
Next thing I know, there is black soot all over everything.
Nice and toasty with a case of black lung disease.
I am lucky it didn't kill me.
Wicked  warm in under three minutes though.

So, Happy fucking holidays, I know damn good and well this isn't going to be the last time I bitch about this consumer driven horse shit before the first of the year either.

Pass the gravy and shut the fuck up.

Bahh Humbug mother fuckers.

Get your ass outta my chair kid or you won't live to see Christmas.
Now bring me a beer.

Home Again

As a matter of fact, I got back Sunday night.
I just don't have much to say.
The current outrage over these bullshit pat downs at the airports has pretty much made it's way through the Blogosphere and I have to say I don't fly.
Fuck that shit.

You had better be a scantily clad hottie blonde with 38 DD's if you are reaching for my crotch and it better be for fun times.

The fucking bastards are feeling up little kids and nuns and anyone else that doesn't exactly think a massive dose of Xrays is necessarily a good thing.

How much ya wanna bet the nun turned around and got back in line?

I know, I'm a sick fucker but that was funny anyway.

These fucking people are out of control.
Even though I don't fly anyway, I would gladly join in the cause of boycotting the dirty sonsabitches.
Money talks to these airline people very loudly.

Whisper in their ear that they can go fuck themselves until they can pull their heads out of their asses and their filthy paws out of our crotches.

It won't take long for their number crunchers to start shitting themselves over lost revenue and then THEY can go lobby Congress to get it stopped.

Money talks to those rotten cock suckers very persuasively, as we all know.

Outta town

My poor aunt.
Her dad died last week and her uncle did the same thing two days later.

Two funerals on the same day, three hundred miles away. On top of that they have been taking care of my Grandmother.  They put  her in a fabulous old place that I guess was an old hotel way back when. The living room and the dining room are bigger than most bars put back to back.
Gorgeous wood work around the doors, antiques out the ass.

She is worried that we are going to pull her out of there toes first.

You'll be OK granny, it's only for a couple of days, the whole famn damily is going to this funereal.

My Sweety has been here taking care of my narrow ass, she even remembered to get my mom a birthday cake and a card for Monday.

I am tellin' ya, I qam one lucky sonofabitch.

She is a hottie and she kinda likes me a little bit.

I'll be back in a couple of days. Right now, there is going to be a little yes maam. Hold still girl.

Thanks fer stopping by.

Got Firewood?

This thing is absolutely amazing!



Now for something quite a bit more affordable that is amazing in it's own right.



They have these that you can run off of a three point hitch with your tractor too. There is even one crazy old bastard that rigged one up to run off of your truck axle with the wheel and tire still on it.

There are some clever bastards out there. Where were these things when I was a kid?
Busting rounds with a sledge hammer and wedges if I was lucky. Most of the time I had to use a splitting maul.

My back hurts just thinking about it.

Of course, there is some old school technology still out there but you wouldn't catch me near this damn thing.

Of Course It Was Ours

I get woke up by the phone again and after I get off, I start checking the headlines.
I run into the one about some mystery missile that launched out of the fucking ocean off of LA and start reading the article and just start laughing.

'We don't know who's it is" kind of crap.
Oh, the Navy said it wasn't one of theirs, the Air force denies any knowledge, blah blah mother fucking Blah.

Jesus christ. Any idiot can figure out it was our bird fired from our sub.

What?
Ya think maybe some Mexican fishing trawler lit off a fucking inter continental ballistic missile?

Ya know why I know it was ours right off the get go?
Because if it wasn't, I would have awakened to absolute fucking pandemonium.

The government would be shitting rings around it's self and there would be one giant military cluster fuck going on right now.

That's our news media though.

Ho hum, I think I'll go back to sleep now.