Sunday, August 24, 2008

No Rest Fer The Wicked

I need to clean my ears out or something, someone is trying to tell me something and I ain't listening.
This is going to be long, just like my weekend.
There is also going to be sniveling involved.

Last I wrote, I was scheduled to take Friday off and travel to Coos Bay for a friend of the families memorial service, that is where I am going to start.

My Dad told me to be at his place at 7 AM so we could get down there in time for the One O'clock service.

Thursday night after several adult beverages, I realize I don't have shit to wear.
At Midnite, I am washing clothes at my neighbors place, he has a washer and dryer in a shed out back he lets me use.
The washer gets done and I throw my stuff in the dryer and go to bed.
I get up at six fifteen, still somewhat muddled from the night before and go over to get my clothes out of the dryer, they are soaking wet, the dryer took a shit.
So I start racing around and throw everything in the truck and haul ass over to my folks so I can throw these clothes in the dryer, fully expecting to hear my old man pitch a fit about us going to be late.
Lo and behold, my folks are barely out of bed and still have to take showers etc. , etc., etc.

Cool. Eventually we get out the door and then there is the usual fuck around getting out of town ritual, get gas, beer, smokes,breakfast, the paper, you get the idea.
At about 8 O:clock we hit the road and still have to drive 250 miles.

Time goes by and we are still pretty much OK until we get off the Interstate about thirty miles.
Me and Pop are yakking it up, I am sipping on a beer because I ain't driving and we aren't paying real close attention to what is going on. We get into this construction zone and go around a corner and there sits a State Cop.
I look over and Pops is doing 67 in a 55, in a construction zone where the fines double for things just like that.
I said , "Shit, you are getting pulled over, right now".
Dad is still yakking away so I said it again, this time he hears me and says, 'Yeah".
I look back and sure as shit here he comes so I start stuffing the newspaper into the sack, covering up the beer.
This is a narrow, two lane, twisty river road, Dad puts on the turn signal but there is nowhere to pull over.
We come around a corner and traffic is stopped in front of a tunnel.
We stop, the cop gets out and tells Dad he was going 67 in a construction zone, Dad say's, "You are exactly right" and hands him his license, etc.After a couple of minutes of looking things over,
the cop tells him he is going to let him off with a warning and I almost fell out of the car!
That would have been a Four Hundred dollar ticket!!!
Long story short, we were about fifteen minutes late to the service because we hit three more bridges being repaired and had to sit and wait.
We got there, it was a very nice service and there were a lot of people there that I hadn't seen in twenty years, a lot of them were my Dad's friend's from High School, just like the fellow who the service was for.
We had a very good time talking to old friends.

We decided to take a different route home to avoid the construction, I drove because Pops is getting up there and has a bad eye and can't see when it gets dark.

Taking the different route turned out to be a mistake.
We went up the coast about fifty miles and turned in on another route we know, went twenty five miles up another twisty river road to where the road splits off to get to Eugene, Oregon, and the State Police have the road closed!
We never did find out what for either.
We wound up on this narrow, crooked assed river road with about a hundred ,twenty mile an hour corners.
We wound up way the hell and gone out of our way getting back to the freeway and ran into more fucking construction zones than we did coming down!

We finally got home at 10:30 that night.
Five hundred and some miles round trip.
We were beat and I jumped in the truck and came home and fell down.

I am going to stop here and break this up, there is more to come from this long weekend, this is just from one day.

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