Sunday, August 24, 2008

No Rest Fer The Wicked, Round Three.

This is the third installment of a long post about my weekend, scroll down for parts one and two.

So I wake up this morning, sore as hell, tired and GRUMPY!

After the night from Hell last night, I am hungry because I never did eat anything all day.
I get dressed, go outside and remember what a fucking nightmare awaits my attention.
Fuck it, it will wait.
I went and had a nice breakfast and came home to start in.
The water leak had been coming from under the bed.
Remember, I live in the Rat Hole, a travel trailer.
Under the bed is where the fresh water tank is and shares a wall with the bathroom.

I tore off the temporary bedding, threw it outside too and then had to take the plywood off to see what was going on.
Fuck. Me.
After getting things stripped down so I could see, I find an electric water pump, the fresh water tank, a couple of hard vinyl water lines and the hard plastic drain pipe from the bath tub, all within about a foot from the outside wall.
The water and drain lines then disappear under the wall into the bathroom, UNDER the bath tub.
Not good.
I grabbed a flash light, went outside and turned the water on and then ran back in to see if I could find the leak.
Of course, it is squirting out of the 'T' that goes up to the shower and then on to the toilet.
Right smack dab under neat the wall separating the bathroom and the bedroom, UNDER the drain for the bathtub.
MAJOR surgery is called for, I can barely see it but can't in any way get to it.
I start yanking the panel off on the side of the tub to get a better look. No dice, I can't get to it from there either.
I now have a choice.
Either rip the mother fucking bath tub out, or cut an access hole through the wall, under the bed, next to the water tank and all the water lines, with a Sawzall.
You get one guess.

Of course, today is muggy as hell and I am now kneeling on the plastic water tank, trying not to cut clear through every damn water line running through the wall, about a foot underneath where my knees are, one handed.
I get the wall opened up and the sweat is running into my eyes, my glasses keep sliding off my face and I STILL can't get to the one I am after.

I ended up sawing the fucking bastard out by hand with the tiny little saw on a Leatherman multi tool!
I finally get the sonofabith out and now it is off to the hardware store.
Yeah, try finding vinyl water pipe fittings.
I finally had to buy a bunch of shit that would work to piece it back together, with one small detail to be worked out.
The clamps that hold all this shit together are crimped.
Oh, they can rent you the tool, fuck that I says, I'll figure something out.
I have a pair of pliers I got somewhere years ago that are a marvel too look at.
They are wire fencing pliers, the original multi tool.
About eight inches long, one leg of the pliers is a tiny nail puller, one is a flat bladed screw driver, it has a tiny hatchet blade on one side, round serrated jaws for grabbing small pipe and rounded snippers at the tip.This thing is older than I am.
The snipper part fits just perfect around the clamp where it needs to be squeezed together and the whole thing is just small enough to fit in the hole I am working on.
After an hour of grunting and squeezing for all I was worth, I had it back together.
I ran outside and turned on the water and came back inside and got soaked!
The pliers didn't quite crimp the clamps enough and water was squirting all over the fucking place!
Off goes the water and off I go to another hardware store to get a bigger set of snippers.
I originally went to the first one because I knew the closer one wouldn't have the fittings I needed, from past experience.
Twenty bucks later, Back to squeezing.
I ended up cutting off and replacing two out of the three but I WIN!

Oh, now I have to put all this shit back together, in the mean time all of my clean clothes and every stitch of bedding I have are still outside, and it starts raining.

I can't fucking believe it.
I threw the fuck plywood down and started piling clothes on it!

It's going to be a bit damp sleeping tonight but I will manage.
I still have a shit load of clothes to put away too.

I won't bother telling you about the propane leaks I had to deal with getting the hot water heater going again after I had to change bottles, it would just scare ya.

My Guardian Angel works over time a lot, let's just put it that way.

Sorry for the long, three part post but now you get an idea of the kind of shit I deal with on a regular basis.

I must be real wicked because I am freaking exhausted.


  1. judas forking priest dood, better figure out what the hell you are supposed to be listening too...

    sending ya warm, dry, thoughts dood

  2. Just a fuckin' ray of sunshine ain'tcha?

    It's time to build yourself a basement! Think of it as a service bay for your vehicle..errrr... house.

    Every knucklebuster I've even known would have lived far longer if they had a service bay under their lives.

    BTW, what's wrong with aircraft clamps? Fuck those crimp on fuckers.

  3. Holy fucking shit!

    I'd have been half tempted to take full box of shotgun shells, fire 24 of them into the trailer and the last one into my head.

  4. It may suck but it is funny and I am not poking fun Busted.

  5. I hate plumbing. I've redone the kitchen and bathroom sinks twice. They still didn't work right so I broke down and made the call. What's their line? Stop freekin that is until you see their bill. Then you'll start screemin.

  6. Dude, pal, buddy, you gotta get out the Rat Hole.

  7. Anonymous7:07 PM

    Dude, sounds like you'd be better off living in a motherfucking yurt! HAHAHAH!!

    Seriously, that rathole is gonna kill your ass.

  8. TRAVEL TRAILERS. There are very few things in this life that are more of a pain in the ass to do repairs on/in/under. BUT when the fuckers busted, ya gotta fix it. It's that simple. Busted, you just come on in here to blogville and unload on us any time you feel the need.

    Peace, eh?

  9. Yes, exhausted, but you did it!!! :)