Tuesday, March 02, 2010

After Work First Aid Training.

As much as I might bitch about work, they did me a huge favor tonight, I even bitched about that too, I was priveleged enough to spend two and a half hours at the end of the day to be re trained for First aid, CPR, and blood borne pathogen safety.
All I can say is if you don't have big tits, you are going to fucking die.
I ain't ripping your shirt open unless you have big tits and I can put my palm right in the middle of your sternum , right between your nipples, with my middle finger directly on your right nipple.Hey, all I am after is for you to start breathing and maybe a few drinks after ya get out of ICU.

I can now pump you in the middle of your chest at a high rate of speed and crack yer fucking ribs while trying to save yer life, which is my primary objective.
If ya got a hairy chested set of ribs, you better hope I can bring ya back to life with chest compressions because I sure as shit ain't putting my mouth on ya.
I would have to have some rubber gloves in my back pocket and some kind of mouth barrier, if you are a dude. Big titted Blonds in distress, I will take my chances.

Bonus, My buddy has been sick as a motherfucker with a head cold, who do you think I got paired up with?
I just got done with a sixteen in a row sneezing fit and have snot running down my face.We work together and his old lady does Day Care. I am going to rag his fucking ass tomorrow and now I have yet another fucking head cold.You SonofaBitch!
This is the fourth nasty assed fucking sickness I have had since last October and I get one and just as I am getting over it, I get another one.You can bet your ass I am going to be a grumpy, sick with another Head Cold, Motherfucker.

Jesus, Oh. My God, am I gonna be pissed off. This shit costs money and I am fucking tired of getting colds from a fucking Day Care Center. I dealt with that shit with my Ex for several years.

You would think that at Fifty years old, you would have been done with about eighty fucking strains of the common cold.
You would be wrong and now I STILL have snot running down my face.
If this turns into another fucking chest cold, I am going to have to go see my doctor and then he is going to be pissed that I still smoke, still drink and I have a check in an envelope sitting on my dash board with the last payment from August of 09.
This fucking cold, flu Bullshit is kicking my ass from one month to the other and I am to the point, you need to stay the fuck home when you are sick. It cost me over two weeks of laying in bed between October and Christmas but I did not want to kill everyone I work with. I know damn well I wound up with Pneumonia but when it got bad, I stayed home.
The fucked up mess we are in guarantees folks have to come to work when they are sick as a dog because they have to pay their mortgage and their utility bills, just so they have enough to have something to eat and enough to pay for the fucking gas to get back and forth to work. God forbid they need a brake job or new tires.
So, everyone gets to get sicker than a fucking dog in the mean time, yay, the paper industry has something to do.