Friday, April 30, 2010

Drill Baby Drill

OB...dude...Sir...posts like that are why I love you, man. You know how we always say we pretty much think alike but come at things from different angles?

Theory test:

I'm with the Drill Baby Drill crowd but not for the reasons anyone might think. If you ask me one of the best damn things we can do for ourselves and this planet is to use it all up. ASAP. Get rid of every last drop of that nasty shit. After it's gone we'll stop spilling it, stop polluting the air with it and stop fucking fighting over it.

We need desperately to get off our oil addiction and get serious about alternative energy sources but we're too fucking stupid and too fucking lazy. We'll keep on with the same old bullshit until it's gone because that's the easiest thing to do. We're more than a little stupid that way.

It'll be gone someday and thank gods I don't believe in that it'll take a few hundred million years for more to be formed. To paraphrase Douglas Adams, "So long and thanks for killing all the fish".

Good riddance.

But oil isn't the problem...we are. Just like guns don't kill anything on their own and pencils don't misspell words on their own. They're all inanimate objects that require our intervention, our misuse, our neglect, our greed and our stupidity to make them dangerous. Someday in the future people will look back at our time in history and be dumbfounded that we actually relied upon such a disgustingly foul source of energy.

It will be a very brief period in history...we started using oil in earnest what, about the late 1800s with the invention of the internal combustion engine? Peak oil is predicted to hit inside the next 50 years or so and with the way China and India are motoring up it ain't gonna fucking last too much longer than that. In my lifetime we'll be sucking out every last drop like a fat kid with a straw at the bottom of a Big Gulp from 7/11. So we'll have had about 200, maybe 250 tops, years of insatiable oil orgy? Meh...drop in the bucket over the course of even human history, which itself is nothing in the life of the planet. The real question is whether or not we'll be able to withstand the withdrawals.

It promises to be nasty. We get pissed off when gas costs 4 bucks a gallon. How pissed off do you think we'll be when it costs 100 or more? When the government is hoarding it all for the military? When only the super-fucking-rich can afford to fill 'er up? You want to talk about a revolution over health care or immigration or national ID can't even IMAGINE the turmoil that will come when the oil wells run dry and we haven't made arrangements to make it irrelevant.

Since we ain't smart enough to do that then I say it's a lot like going to the dentist. Have a seat, get a grip on the arms of the chair and say "drill away, Doc...let's fucking get it over with."


Lubed Up And Ready For The Drilling

Ayep, that would be Louisi-anna.
That humongous fucking oil spill is coming ashore for some fuckin'.

It's gonna fuck up everything in sight like a whole platoon of drunken sailors on shore leave.
Fifteen hundred miles of shoreline is going to have a trail of smegma that is going to make Alaska jealous and long for the good old days after the Exxon Valdez.

210 THOUSAND gallons a day, from a mile under the ocean has already created an oil slick a HUNDRED and TWENTY miles wide, with no end in sight.

Bonus, Halliburton is now under scrutiny for the cement work that is supposed to prevent blow outs.
Yes, our old friends are still at it, fucking up around the globe.

The oil has already hit in Louisiana and is going to wind up all around the gulf eventually.
The plan to burn it off caused me to laugh until I spit beer out of my nose.
Yeah, right, light that fucker off and you would be able to see it from the moon with the naked eye.

Get a load of this, I want you all to remember these words,

BP'S Chief Executive Tony Hayward said the company would clean up the oil spill and compensate those affected.

Just how much has Exxon paid out after it's little fiasco?
What was that,20 fucking years ago?

No, this is a huge fucking catastrophe that is not just going to go away.
The fishing industry is gonna be all fucking done down there for a very long fucking time.

Marshes, wetlands, beaches, all sea life is going to die.

When the President says "it is a national concern", you can bet your ass it is fucking nasty bad.

This thing is going to fuck. us. up..

Funny how that Drill Baby Drill crowd just went silent.
Maybe they all went to Arizona looking for Wet backs.


Imagine this, remember a while back what a huge hard on this bunch had to drill in the National refuge in wayyy up northern Mooselini territory?
Just imagine what it would be like up there right now if this had happened there.

People have short memories.

There is a reason that there is a moratorium on off shore drilling around the continental United States.
This one is going to make that look like a day at the beach.


Bonus round, another one tipped over.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

WTF, It's Thursday Already?

My, how time flies.

Have a bit of this, what a great album.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Damn, Just Got My Ass Chewed

As usual, it's my mistake.

I recently went to my Grand daughter's birthday and asked for a couple of pictures, I got them promptly and said I would Blog about it. I didn't and it is my bad.
I got called on it and a few other things besides.
Yeah, not all of them are valid complaints but I did say I was going to Blog about it so here ya go,Grandma.

Yeah, the little darlin' is Five and into Barbie dolls.

I gave her a gift card.
If she is five, she knows how to pick out what the heck she wants and I guess you could call it her first credit card. I suck at buying presents until they are twenty one.
Don't let this fool ya, she is quite the little handful,

By no means is this going to get me off the shit list but at least I held up my end of the bargain.
I love her and my oldest little girl who is her Mommy and both my other kids tremendously. I have some beautiful kids. Lucky me, they call me dad.

Yippee Kayay Grandma,

She is a cute little shit.

Monday, April 26, 2010

BoobQuake, A Follow Up To Sluts Cause Earthquakes

Let me just say that I am in front of this idea, literally.
After the big flap where some tight assed idiot claimed that immodest women were to blame for excessive tectonic plate activity, my buddy Sponge Bob Crack Whore busted out a tongue in cheek post that got linked to by six other websites, not the least being Crooks and Liars,the subject in general got wide attention for good reason. Some crazy fucks over there, for sure.

Anyways, this lady of the "Double D",Jen McCreight , came up with the idea for the ladies to let 'em hang out, covered of course, and have a little gathering to test this guy's theory.
Even my Girl friend heard about it and decided to go into town with little left to the imagination and about caused a fucking riot.
Kudos to the ladies. I am all for scantily clad little vixens for science.
Actually, I don't give a damn why, I just like 'em.

Nobody Expects The Oklahoma Inquisition!

Welcome back to the dark ages.

If you are a woman who lives in Oklahoma and decides to have an abortion...which is a legal may soon be REQUIRED to undergo an invasive vaginal ultrasound before it can be performed. Oh, and you'll also have to answer a metric assload of questions about your race and relationships and any other damned thing that is none of their fucking business but they are hoping might embarrass you out of it.

It seems the fine, upstanding, fundamentalist religious nutbags in Oklahoma have decided that since they can't change the law they'll just go ahead and make it such a degrading experience that you just might change your mind.

Holy fucking shit...that sounds so much to me like the sexual humiliation used against women suspected of being witches in the middle ages that it boggles my mind.

I just...I have no words for how fucking stupid this is. Did somebody finally invent a time machine and transport us all back about 500 years?

If the Governor of Oklahoma signs this into law then what's next? Using Malleus Maleficarum as a textbook in schools?


Sunday, April 25, 2010

Chicago Reps Want To Call In The Guard For Enhanced Presence.

To back up the fucking Chicago police in responce to a large uptick in violence in the city.

Chicago Tribune)

Two state representatives called on Gov. Pat Quinn Sunday to deploy the Illinois National Guard to safeguard Chicago's streets.

Chicago Democrats John Fritchey and LaShawn Ford said they want Quinn, Mayor Richard Daley and Chicago Police Supt. Jody Weis to allow guardsmen to patrol streets and help quell violence. Weis said he did not support the idea because the military and police operate under different rules.


No shit, Sherlock.

So far this year, 113 people have been killed across Chicago, the same number of U.S. troops killed in Iraq and Afghanistan combined in the same period, Fritchey said.

"As we speak, National Guard members are working side-by-side with our troops to fight a war halfway around the world," Fritchey said. "The unfortunate reality is that we have another war that is just as deadly taking place right in our backyard." While the National Guard has been deployed in other states to prevent violence related to specific events and protests, the Chicago legislators said they are unaware of guardsmen being deployed to assist with general urban unrest.


Posse Comitatus anyone?
Just because your fucking city is broke because of all of the graft and corruption that has been going on for the last fifty fucking years does not give you the excuse to call in the Guard to patrol your cities streets, you ignorant fucks.
That is why we have the Police, who are already armed to the fucking teeth. Give them the money to hire more patrol men, idiots.
This is nothing but an attempt to bypass raising taxes and passing the buck to the state instead of the city of Chicago and at the same damn time, trying to militarize sections of that city and further erode the rights of their citizens.

By the way, these two assholes are Democrats.
Vote these two sonsabitches out of office yesterday.

Weis countered that the only scenario in which the National Guard would be helpful is in the situation of a tornado, earthquake or flood. If the military were brought in to help with city violence, they wouldn't answer to police command -- creating a "major disconnect" in mission and strategy.

Wait for it, wait.

Alluding to the 1970 Kent State University incident where the National Guard was called in and protestors and students were shot, Weis said having guardsmen handle crime could be "disastrous." But he said if the Daley(sic) suggested it, he would consider the option.

"The Daley".
Look, Daley is corrupt as the fucking day is long and everyone knows it, he is his fathers son.

This is a bullshit move and if it ever happens there is damn well going to be a little slice of civil war going to be happening in the windy city.I fucking guarantee it.

Calling for the military to police your town earns you a major FAIL, assholes.

Here is the link.

Crazy Response Unit

From Al Jazeera: Crazy Response Unit

The police unit is known for its daring, and the men are often first on the scene after a Taliban attack.

Wow...that's pretty daring, right there. Being first on the scene AFTER an attack.

This unit, an elite force mentored by the New Zealand special forces, is easy to spot. All its men wear black uniforms. Their police cars are also painted black.

You gotta love that...since New Zealands rugby team is known as the All Blacks because they wear all black uniforms. Bet that's an inside joke among the New Zealanders.

When I visited, I noticed all the black police cars had been repainted. "CTP" has become CRU." I asked one of the officers what the new initials stood for. His English was not good. "Crazy Response Unit," he said. "The what?" I asked. "Craziest Response Unit," he seemed to say this time.

It was only when I asked a third time that I released what he was trying to say. The new unit is called the Crisis Response Unit.

I don't know...I'm thinkin' maybe the entire history of Afghanistan has been one long-running crisis after another? Those people are stuck in one of the geographic crossroads between cultures that just brings trouble their way whether they like it or not.

Bet if you sat down with an Afghan family in neutral circumstances they'd be very hospitable and friendly. Probably go out of their way to make you feel at long as the conversation stayed the fuck away from religion or politics.

People are just people until that shit gets involved.


Saturday, April 24, 2010


Yeah, I deleted that last one.
Heat of the moment and all that.

Back to normal soon.

Missed It By THAT Much!

The girlfriend was watching me so I had to fudge a couple of answers. Otherwise, being the over achiever I am, I know damn good and well I coulda got all the way to the bottom. The eighth level of Hell is about right, I just haven't been putting much effort into it lately.
Take the test to find out where yer place in Hell is awaiting

H/T Kittywampus

Friday, April 23, 2010

Even A Blind Mexican Finds The Border Every Once In Awhile

Ciudad Juarez might as well be in Iraq or Afghanistan. But it isn't. It's right across the border from El Paso, Texas. Nearly every fucking day there's a story about shootouts and killings. This isn't some place halfway around the world, this is on our border and the violence is already spilling over.

Our god-damned insane "war on drugs" is directly responsible. It ain't no different from the organized criminal violence that rocked this country when we passed the Volstead Act to enforce the Eighteenth Amendment.

If you don't know what that is then go look it up. And don't get off my lawn before ya mow it.

Prohibition doesn't fucking work, okay? It never has and it never will. Economics 101, people...the law of supply and demand. Attempts to legislate morality do nothing at all to decrease the demand. Haven't we learned that? All prohibition succeeds in doing is giving rise to criminal organizations that can profit from the demand and have no qualms about using violence to deliver the supply.

The Federal Government recently okayed the carrying of concealed weapons in National Parks. Ya know why? Because they're fucking swarming with Mexican drug gangs growing dope and packing is the best way to protect yourself if you go in. In other words, we're too stupid to deal with this so you're on your own.

Personally, I don't see the problem with smoking dope. It's your life and your body so what you do with it should be your business so long as it doesn't affect other people in any adverse way. Yeah, I know what the detractors say...this study and that study and blah, blah, blah. Marijuana is about as much of a "gateway" drug as a ham sandwich is to a bacon addiction. Bullshit. Legalizing marijuana would only decriminalize what huge numbers of people are doing anyway. Free up a few prison cells along the way for cocksuckers like Dick Cheney.

Jesus plain can this be? Grow it, package it like cigarettes, tax the shit out of it and you solve two problems. The deficit for one, the government will make a fucking mint. The demand will still be there but by increasing supply you'll drop the price overall. Which will cascade into the second benefit of making it no longer profitable for the cartels. When the 18th Amendment was finally repealed what happened? People didn't suddenly drink any more than they drank less when it was enforced. They drank the same all along, except for a minority who were too scared to disobey a stupid law. Keep the same laws concerning driving under the influence, etc. But seriously...why does anyone fucking care that you wanna get higher than 40 goats and do whatever it is you do in the privacy of your own home?

Listen, we have a third world country on our southern border that is in very serious danger of becoming a failed state along the lines of Somalia or Sudan or Afghanistan or the Frontier Provinces of Pakistan. Beyond our own dumbass drug laws, which deny reality and fuel the fire, we have two major problems when it comes to Mexico. First and foremost is the fact that we stole of lot of our country from them in the first place and you think they don't remember it? Second is a couple of hundred years of ridiculous foreign policy that has maintained the status quo of treating Mexico like Gods blind spot.

We are in very fucking clear and present danger of having an insurgent war exactly like the one we're fighting along the Afghan-Pakistan border right in our own back yard. If it comes to that we won't have anyone to blame but ourselves.

Not that any of it will really make a difference, mind you. The way things are going cigarettes will soon be illegal so the cartels always have that to fall back on.


Heading Out

Going out of town, back l8ter.
If ya can't be good, stay sanitary.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

You Need To Do This RIGHT NOW!

Ever heard of a website called Spokeo?

They have all sorts of info about you on their website if you use a computer.
Where you live, how many kids, how much you make,etc, etc, all of it available to anyone who wants to know for a measly two ninety five.

My Girl Friend told me about this bunch of fuckers the other day.

I can now point you to a post by Ranger Squirrel that shows you how to get that shit removed. Good man and good on ya for showing me how to delete that shit

Tell yer friends and relatives about this, I was fucking shocked at what I saw.

Fucking bastards.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Here It Comes

Value Added Tax...VAT for short. In other words, a fucking national sales tax on top of state, county and municipal sales taxes.

After Obama adviser Paul Volcker recently raised the prospect of a value-added tax, or VAT, the Senate voted 85-13 last week for a nonbinding "sense of the Senate" resolution that calls such a tax "a massive tax increase that will cripple families on fixed income and only further push back America's economic recovery."

Bend over, America...every time the government says they ain't gonna do something you can pretty much bet your ass that they're gonna do exactly that. It's kinda like the owner or general manager of a sports team who gives the head coach a vote of confidence in the media and then fires him a few weeks later. Kiss of death.

Many European countries impose a VAT, which taxes the value that is added at each stage of production of certain commodities. It could apply, for instance, to raw products delivered to a mill, the mill's production work and so on up the line to the retailer.

This isn't Europe, this is America. The place that got started, in part, over excessive taxation? And don't give me that 'representation' bullshit. That don't fly with me no more. The assholes we elect represent only themselves and have no fucking regard for what the people think, feel or want. Remember Cheney and his infamous response to the fact that the American people overwhelmingly disagreed with the war in Iraq? He said, "So?"

Jesus Fucking Christ...the economy is in the shitter, unemployment is epidemic, people are underwater on their mortgages, most people in this country live paycheck to paycheck and the fucking government has the huge brass balls to even CONSIDER a national sales tax? These cocksucking millionaire bastards sit around all day doing little else but coming up with ways to part us from our money!

How about getting spending under control before you think about raising taxes? Fucking government waste is MONUMENTAL and everybody knows it. I got my happy ass in deep shit one time when I was in the Navy 'cause me and some friends read a story in Stars And Stripes about a ship that had a $9000 couch in the Officers Wardroom. And we just happened to be dry-docked next to it for maintenance. Sweet. We put on dress uniforms, went over, saluted the flag and requested permission to come aboard. The trouble came when the guy in charge asked why we were there and I said, "We're here to see the $9000 couch, Sir...that's gotta be a nice couch!" My Chief made me paint an entire passageway by myself for that one.

And that was in the early 80s. Think about that...$9000 for a couch and it was almost 30 years ago. Think its gotten better or worse since then? Point is: stop fucking WASTING money before you even talk about wanting more!

In related news: I saw SIX cops on my 20 mile drive to work the other day. Off on the side of the road waiting to do a little 'revenue enhancement'. Why don't they just pull ya over and take your fucking wallet at gunpoint?

It's coming, boys and girls. Government has become little more than legalized theft. We might as well be dollar-generating batteries plugged into the machine, like in The Matrix.



I posted about these guys back in January when I read Jurrasic Pork's post at Brilliant at Breakfast, which I highly recommend you go read immediately after watching these guys kick some serious fucking ass.Quite the story.
These guys rock, hard.

Monday, April 19, 2010

I Hear People Crying

I spent a little time on the way home getting off the damn main highway tonight.

Yes, my cup holder was full .
I dived off at the point where those rich peoples live and started in with a bit of YaHoo.

I am talking million dollar houses and the farther down the road I went, there were abandoned houses that had been there for twenty fucking years, sitting on property worth a hundred fucking thousand dollars.
Old properties from the forties that are sitting there abandoned , down the same road from two million dollar mansions on the same damn road that have work crews slamming out two million dollar houses at the same time, I see dead houses that are right next to those same ones in the middle of being built and are abandoned.

What a fucked up mess.
One really old house has a garage and is plain fucking abandoned.I am thinking 1930's

No, this ain't it but you get the fucking idea.

There are some beautiful old houses on this road and some brand fucking new ones that are dead,the economy killed 'em. Some that have burnt down and ya damn well know there are some pirate fucking Real estate bastards waiting for the forclosure's to come through.
It makes me want to legalize those rocket launchers.

Hell, I just want a piece of dirt my Ex can't find me at. Shut the damn phone off and it's all Yee Haw and hey Beer dude.

If ya haven't quite got what this post is about, it's a two mile stretch of an old highway with a view that goes from two million dollar new houses, to abandoned property, in less than two miles. Have a nice day and look for gravel trucks and blonde bitches in new cars around ya. Sell high and run for yer life. Shit, I saw a place that an ex friend of mine had that has a fucking half foot of moss on the roof I went by, that was his parents and I know damn well he is going to want a half million for, and it has been empty for six fucking years. The farther down the road I got, it was total Suburbia and as I went by, I could almost hear the folks that lived there crying out loud, "How are we going to pay our mortgage, the light bill and WHAT THE HELL ARE WE GOING TO HAVE FOR DINNER?"

The fucking bastards in the wrong end of the economy are still trying to throw a dick into the stupid ones with too much money. Give up, ya fucking morons,they are out to fuck ya. Helpin' 'em, ain't helping you.

Fuck You

I saw a complete fucking asshole today...and no, I wasn't looking in the mirror but thanks for imagining that first.

Totally at random I entered a gas station in a different town and there he was, coming out at the exact same moment as I was going in. A guy who I would be quite happy to never see again for as long as I fucking live.

Used to be a friend of mine, or so I thought...until he accused me of some shit that wasn't true and I fired back with plenty more that was. With evidence to back it.

I sincerely hope that was the last time I'll ever have to endure the sight of him.

Fuck you.


Sunday, April 18, 2010


I got my happy ass on Amazon the other day and ordered a bunch of Pogues CDs that I used to own but wore out long ago. I also went in for every Tossers disc I didn't already have and replaced a couple of Flogging Molly discs that my kid swiped from me.

Ha! I once told her she had the only dad in town whose CD collection her friends would like to raid and she said "I know and it SUCKS so I don't admit I get 'em from you."

If you like Irish music (with a punk twist) then get your hands on PURGATORY by The Tossers. Okay, okay...they're diaspora from the South Side of Chicago but they got the Irish blood in 'em and they do it just as good as the natives. They're like a more melodic Dropkick Murphys. PURGATORY fucking rocks!

And if you don't like Irish music then bite me 'cause I do. Heh...I'm still sore from the mosh pit last time me and OB saw Flogging Molly and I can't wait until they come back around.


Saturday, April 17, 2010

Apparently Sluts Cause Earthquakes

Okay, I've always known that religion causes people to believe stupid shit but this guy takes the cake. Ignorant fucking bastard.

"Many women who dress inappropriately ... cause youths to go astray, taint their chastity and incite extramarital sex in society, which increases earthquakes," Ayatollah Kazem Sedighi told worshippers at overnight prayers in Tehran.

Silly me...I thought earthquakes were caused by the movement of tectonic plates and the sudden release of energy from pressure and stress built up along fault lines. Turns out they're caused by Iranian sluts in tight coats and flimsy headscarves and layers of skilfully applied makeup. Who knew? I stand corrected.

"Calamities are the result of people's deeds," he was quoted as saying by reformist Aftab-e Yazd newspaper. "We have no way but conform to Islam to ward off dangers."

Well there ya go. It's just that easy. Why didn't somebody tell me before? I'm off to the dollar store for a checkered table cloth and a couple o' bungee cords to wrap around my head. No, wait...Islam doesn't allow alcohol so fuck that. How 'bout we compromise and I declare Jihad on a six pack of beer?

From Wikipedia:
Iran is one of the most seismically active countries in the world, being crossed by several major fault lines[1] that cover at least 90% of the country.[2] As a result, earthquakes in Iran occur often and are destructive.

The worst in recent times hit the southern city of Bam in December 2003, killing 31,000 people - about a quarter of the population - and destroying its ancient mud-built citadel.

Mud-built? In one of the most seismically active places on earth? That makes sense in a bizarre kind of way. After every earthquake you have plenty of material to re-build so it can happen all over again. You're gonna need it because according to that map there are a lot of sluts...I mean fault lines, yeah that's it, fault Iran.


A Girl After My Own Heart

And you think I'm fucking crazy, you never met Jewelz.

Talking to one of my ex girl friends today, she got drunk and went to Taco Smell the other night and expressly told the dumb assed little bitch at the drive through to make sure she got every thing. Napkins, sauce, straws for the drinks, pretty much what ever you should get from a fucking Taco Smell at the drive through, but NO.
Didn't get the fucking straws.

Gotta love her, the crazy fucking bitch hangs a Louie and drives right back through the driveway the wrong damn way, uses the electric window switch with her girl friend sitting there looking at the dumbass and starts yelling at her for not putting any straws in the bag.
The passenger in this micro drama asks what is going to happen if someone comes around the drive through and she say's they can fucking back up.

Ya gotta love a chick like that.
I gave her a kiss and told her she was a good girl.

Hey, they mightta called the cops, if it was me they woulda but sometimes ya gotta make a fucking point.

Fuck that " We want to know how our service is, call us," bullshit.

Hey, stupid fuck, I just told ya what I want, and ya fucked it up anyway.

The dumbing down of America is complete because this is not an isolated incident but ya gotta love the ex going against the grain to make her point.

She is the female version of me and said so herself.
Therefore, I nominate her to Ornery Bastard, with oak leaf clusters.

Friday, April 16, 2010

WTF in Hollywood sign size letters

Meet Michael S. Jeffries, chairman and CEO of Abercrombie & Fitch.

"Uh...Mr. CEO...dude...our business is in the shitter because of your lousy management so we need you to stop using the corporate jet to fly all over the damn place for free, mmmmkay?"

"Sure, whatever. Gimme 4 million bucks up front plus 200 grand a year to pay for travel expenses."

"Well, we're already payin' ya 71 million a year but that sounds fair. Here ya go."

Holy fucking shit! No wonder these ass-clowns want 90 bucks for a fucking pair of pants. I may be going out on a limb here but I'm guessing that when they have board meetings the collective IQ is less than that of a god-damn brick!

Apparently all that cash will buy plenty of collagen lip injections but not a motherfucking comb.

Anybody got an opening for a CEO? I can start immediately.


SEC Files Civil Suit Against Goldman Sachs For Fraud

It's About Fucking Time.

I notice the fucking jerk that came up with the idea managed to escape being named in the suit though.
They are dirty and everyone knows it.
This will be interesting to watch,I'm surprised the DOJ hasn't gone after them yet.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

You Poor Bastards

I am back online at home.
The place where the ranting is free and hot off the fucking griddle.

Let's just start right in, shall we?

Senator Mitch McConnell (Repuke, KY) is a totally owned corporate fucking whore who has absolutely no ones interests besides his own and the corporations that bought his fucking ass a long damn time ago.

I know damn good and well there are some smart people in Kentucky, I have relatives there but it is readily apparent they are out numbered by people who have more dogs than teeth.
That fucking guy needs to be sent home, permanently.
Then we have that Mavericky guy who now claims he is not at all Mavericky, after being quoted so many fucking times I can't quote as saying he was, Mavericky.
John McCain is another dirty old codger that needs to be forcibly retired, hopefully to somewhere that has fire ants that thrive on lying fucking politicians. Then again, I could give a fuck where the old bastard ends up,actually, preferably, right fucking next door to me so I can make his remaining years a living hell and I can wave my dick at his idiot fucking daughter.

Ah yes, the best for last.
Joe "Short Ride" Benedict fucking Arnold, Lieberman.

Life would be so sweet if I could just have a few minutes alone with that cocksucker.

World class asshole
, that guy.
2012 can't get here soon enough, economic melt down or not,the end of the fucking world or not, that fucking asshole is gone.
He has burned all his bridges and there is no way in hell, absent blatant vote stealing, that he is going to retain his seat.

Good riddance ya fucking cunt.

Do me a huge favor and die a slow, very painful, death.


Superior Band-Aid Design

First time I've seen one of these but I'll tell you what, somebody at Johnson & Johnson is doing a damn good job!

The fucker looks weird when you unwrap it: one end short and squared off and the other end long and tapered. I put it on anyways, y'know...since I was bleeding and all...and soon as I did I recognized that it was the best damned band-aid I ever used. The weird-ass design makes perfect sense once you use it.

I'm a woodworker so I need band-aids every so often and from now on there ain't gonna be nothing in my shop (or house) except for these. Oh, and you better fucking believe it when it says " super-stick adhesive". They didn't name 'em TOUGH STRIPS for nothin'.

Buy some. Now. You can thank me later.


Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Tighten Up The Tinfoil

Yes, you have every right to be paranoid, Big Brother is watching, listening and reading even things you thought were private.

Web spy software hacks into secretive online forums

THE dark corners of cyberspace are being illuminated by indexing software that can reach into secretive websites that are normally inaccessible to search engines. This could allow search engines to cover online forums lurking within the "dark web", and provide insights into what is being said by groups who would rather keep their conversations secret.

Conventional search engines use programs called spiders or web crawlers that scuttle around the internet and index what they find. However, many websites are protected by security restrictions that fend off such software. Screening out all traffic from IP addresses belonging to well-known search engines is one way to do this.


The software also disguises its indexing activity by making it look like the traffic generated by users browsing the forum. What's more, it can attempt to sign up for membership on forums that require registration, though it has to seek help from Chen's team if unusual information is asked for.

Tell me the fucking Feds aren't all over that shit.

Warrantless wire tapping, Total Information Awareness and now this.
Pretty soon we will be back to talking to each other through tin cans and a string.

Unlike a regular web crawler, Chen's software looks only at sites he has specified. It has compiled data on 29 restricted forums, containing about 13 million messages in total. On one forum, it took just 39 minutes to index 29,016 posts made over a six-week period.

Sounds to me like some people are going to be getting a knock at the door, eh comrade?

It also sounds like this has been around awhile and they are just now letting us know.

Ain't that just peachy.


Monday, April 12, 2010

Vote For Me

I have come to the conclusion that no one should ever read, watch or listen to anything they disagree with. Any and all viewpoints that are contradictory or even slightly dissimilar to a persons own should be shunned like the plague and I aim to make it mandatory.

No good at all can come from opposing opinions. In the entire history of the world not one person has ever learned a thing or even refined their own views by listening to somebody else say something they didn't particularly like.

That is why I am calling for the immediate criminalization of any and all opposing points of view. Under this new legislation it will be a federal offense, punishable by a severe talking to, for anyone to hold or form any opinion or view that is not perfectly synchronised with the opinions and views of anyone and everyone who might or might not listen to, read, watch, stumble upon, partake of, indulge in, overhear or otherwise be disgusted by the complete bullshit they have just been exposed to.

Re-education camps will be set up for repeat offenders. I advise you all to stay off the interwebs and not say a single word lest it be taken by another person as not being in line with what they think and believe. The time has come for all of us to think exactly alike, hold all the same opinions and be just like one other in every imaginable way. Sure, it'll be boring as fuck but it'll also end all opposition to all things.

And if you think THAT'S extreme wait'll you get a load of my "bubble-wrap-clothes-for-anyone-venturing-outside" law.


I'm Back

What a weekend!
I got a few things done, had some very attractive help doing them too.
Got all my laundry and dishes caught up.
The place actually looks like a human lives there now, I am such a slob.
I received one of those fancy schmancy memory mattresses as a gift and got that put in. Slept like a baby, damn those things are the shit!
You should have seen what I was sleeping on before.
Trust me when I tell you you wouldn't let your dog sleep on it, it was trashed.
It was what came with the trailer.

I went to put a CD on my computer at home and couldn't figure out why the hell the mouse wasn't working.
The little red light was on but the cursor wouldn't move. After some investigation I finally figured it out when I looked at the front of the tower.
The little transformer thingy that plugs into the USB port somehow got broken in half.
Something else to add to the list for Friday...

I'd like to thank Sponge Bob Crack Whore for holding down the fort for me and thanks to everyone who stopped by.

I'll be back tomorrow, just as fucking ornery as ever.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Not a new idea but still a good one.

Community Supported Agriculture allows people to buy directly from farms.

I don't like that the headline uses the word "allows" since it smacks of guv'mint intervention someday...which'll probably happen since the state can't have people dealing directly with other people. They ain't gettin' their cut if they let THAT happen.

Wouldn't surprise me if the bastards came up with some way to tax you for growing food in your own damn garden someday.

And no, ain't Communism because the state isn't enforcing it. It's communalism and I'm all for people helping people as long as the god-damned government keeps it's nose out of our business.


Saturday, April 10, 2010

If we bombed Afghanistan back into the stone-age how would anyone be able to tell?

Looks like Pakistan is finally getting serious about the war. It ain't no secret that the bastards set up the Taliban in Afghanistan and that important people in the Pakistani SSI and military and government have been sympathetic, if not overtly supportive.

It looks like they might be realizing that they ain't doing themselves any favors by allowing Islamic militants to operate freely inside their borders. I would have ignored the fucking border in the first place. If I'm fighting a war I ain't got time for lines drawn on a map that the enemy can hide behind. Fuck that. My boys are out there.

It's about god-damn time the Pakistanis woke up! The threat from radical Islam threatens them just as much as it threatens everybody else. The Koran or Quran or however the fuck you want to spell it is a book that contains a lot of violent passages but no more so than the Christian Bible. We aren't talking about an entire religion gone bad (if there can be any such thing as a GOOD religion)...we're talking about radicals who have hijacked a religion and are attempting to turn it to their own clearly insane ideologies.

I fucking cringed when GWB made his infamous "crusade" blunder. Holy fucking you know that one of the most popular forms of entertainment in the Middle East, specifically Syria and Jordan, is listening to story-tellers in coffee shops? It's their night out like Americans go to the movies. Know what the most popular stories are? Ding, ding, ding...THE CRUSADES. Islam was once a great empire and they blame the Christian west for taking it from them.

I don't necessarily like the fact that Obama is deleting references to radical Islam from our national security strategy but I do see some sense in it. The average man in the street in countries that are our so-called allies...Egypt, Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, etc...doesn't simply hate us for being American, they hate us for our foreign policy which has forced them to live under repressive regimes for generations. For all our talk of spreading Democracy we sure do a piss poor job of it.

They hate us for that as much as for anything. They're jealous of the freedoms that we have and they want some too. Can you blame 'em? But no, we keep on propping up their dictatorships and turning a blind eye to bullshit like the Saudi Arabian "Morality Police" and the Taliban running around whacking women with sticks for showing an ankle in public. Our foreign policy is so fucked up that it's no wonder people like Osama-Bin-Hidin' can easily corrupt others into going along with their radical views.

Violence is never a good reaction but I think we're hated for some very valid reasons and we need to change that if we can. Unfortunately, it's gonna be VERY fucking expensive...even more expensive than all the foreign aid we dole out now. All the decades of keeping oil as cheap as possible so our politicians could stay in power in exchange for keeping their Monarchs in power is gonna come back and fuck us in the ass.

Break out your wallet and bend over. Peak oil hits in my lifetime. You think $4.00 a gallon gas is bad? In England they pay $9.00. Pretty soon there ain't gonna be no more gas because there ain't gonna be no more fucking oil, except the massive reserves that the militaries and their governments will hold for themselves. Oh, sure...we can string it along by raping the planet even more than we already have but here's a news flash: the supply is finite unless you got a few hundred million years on your hands while more gets made.

The best thing we can do for ourselves, which will also be VERY fucking expensive, is to get the hell away from our dependence on oil ASAP. I mean right fucking now...end the ridiculous war in Iraq and put that money into alternative energy research. What are we spending over there, like eleventy billion dollars a day? Yes, eleventy billion is a real number...the only bigger number is a Brazilian.

The point is that we need to extricate ourselves from this fucking mess that we've created and start coming up with ways to solve the problems rather than perpetuating them.

Pakistan is finally getting the message.


Friday, April 09, 2010

Prepare to be bored

The World Cup is coming up in June. I got your "Superbowl" right here. The World Cup is far and away the biggest sporting event on the planet. Hell, even the final of the Champions League had more viewers this year than the Superbowl did. Real football is the worlds most popular game. Get over it.

Anyway, here is how I see it and a long-ass rant about how it could be better. The numbers in parentheses behind teams are how many times they've won it.



In with an outside chance: FRANCE (1), PORTUGAL, NETHERLANDS

Serious contenders

Most likely to succeed
: BRAZIL (5), ITALY (4), GERMANY (3)

The World Cup should be cut down to 16 teams. Four groups of 4, play each team in your group twice with the winner and 2nd place advancing to the knockout stages. Having a 32 team tournament that only 8-10 teams are capable of winning is just fucking stupid.

Africa has 6 teams in this tournament and not one of 'em is good enough to lift the trophy. South Africa is in as host but why does the rest of the continent get 5 qualifiers? Because Sepp Blatter has a hard-on for Africa, that's why. If an African team does win it it'll be under controversial circumstances (ie: Blatter telling the refs to hand it to 'em should they make the final). He wants an African team to win the Cup so he can keep getting re-elected. His support in Europe is almost non-existent anymore so he's sucking off all these little shit countries to keep himself in power.

That man is a cancer hell-bent on destroying the game. His latest what-fucking-planet-are-you-from idea is to do away with the offside rule. That'll make the game about as exciting as basketball...he shoots, he to the other end...he shoots, he to the other end...yawn. Super fucking yawn. Americans say it's boring because of the low scores but I beg to differ. Goals are rare and therefore scoring actually fucking MEANS something.

It should be organized this way...

Two from AFC (Asia, which should include Oceania), two from CAF (Africa), two from CONCACAF (North America, Central America, Caribbean), four teams from CONMEBOL (South America) and six teams from UEFA (Europe).

OFC (Oceania) is a fucking joke. It only has 16 member nations and includes such powerhouses as Tonga, Cook Islands and Tahiti. Holy shit...not ONE of the countries in Oceania even has a domestic professional league, not since Australia whined its way into moving over to AFC (Asia) because it could never win the playoff against a South American team. Either disband it completely or fold it into AFC (Asia).

CAF (Africa) and CONCACAF (North America, Central America, Caribbean) at least have professional leagues, although any good players from those countries play in South America and any really good players they have play in Europe.

AFC (Asia) has professional leagues but very few players of any quality. Park Ji-Sung at Manchester United, you say? Oh, gimme a fucking break...Park isn't there because he's a Manchester United quality player - he's there because Manchester United sells metric assloads of shirts in Asia with his name on 'em. Asian teams simply can't compete physically against the top teams from Europe or South America. That isn't racism, it's a simple fact. I remember seeing Germany against South Korea one time and the Germans stood a good foot taller and weighed 40-50 pounds more across the board. Football is a physical game and 5'-4" 135 lb Asian players are never going to win against 6'-4" 200 lb Germans or Italians.

CAF (Africa) has a number of quality players but they all play in Europe. And no African team has more than 2 or maybe 3 of those at any one time. Didier Drogba and Samuel Eto'o are world class but without a supporting cast they'll never get anywhere near lifting the World Cup. A lot of African national teams even field players who aren't professionals just to fill in the ranks.

COMNEBOL (South America) is where it gets interesting. Brazil is the shit when it comes to football...5 times World Cup champions and twice runners-up, more than any other country. Argentina has 2 but that was with Diego Maradona and he had to fucking cheat to get one of 'em. Uruguay has 2 but they hardly count since they came back in the day when the Cup was just getting started and there were four teams in the 'tournament' or some shit like that. Still, South America has tons of great players so they deserve a good number of teams to qualify.

UEFA (Europe) is where top class football is played in a number of countries. By any reckoning the top four leagues in the world are in Europe...English Premier League, Italian Serie A, Spanish La Liga and German Bundesliga. Europe and South America each have 9 World Cups but South America only has 3 teams (Brazil, Argentina, Uruguay) to have won it while Europe has 4 (Germany, Italy, France, England).

It is a telling statistic that ONLY South American and European teams have ever appeared in a World Cup final. No team from anywhere else has ever gotten there. USA took 3rd way the hell back in 1930 at the very first one and South Korea took 4th in 2002 (when Turkey, a country FIFA says is somehow in Europe took 3rd). That's it. The World Cup has been played 18 times and only 3 teams from outside of Europe and South America have even broken into the top four. That's 3 out of 72.

Sepp Blatter can snuggle up to Africa and Asia all he wants in order to keep his sorry ass in power...but that ratio ain't gonna change. Stop fucking around with all these no-hope countries. Instead of a bunch of games between countries that can't win the damned thing give us a bunch of games between teams that can. Who wants to see Algeria play Slovenia or New Zealand play Slovakia? Their own fans, sure...but seeing Brazil play The Netherlands twice or Argentina play Germany twice would bring far more interest and far more viewers. The wanna-bes will still have a chance but will have to actually deserve being there by making qualification harder.

Sepp Blatter and FIFA should pull their heads out of their asses and give us a better tournament.

I'll save my actual predictions until the domestic leagues are over. Important players can still be injured and not make the tournament.


Have A Nice Weekend

I'm outta here till Monday.
Look for Sponge Bob Crack Whore to fill in.

Thursday, April 08, 2010

$200,000,000 Per Arrest

Meet Congressman John J. Duncan, Jr. from Tennessee. He has a little problem with the Federal Air Marshal Service.

"And listen to this paragraph from a front-page story in the USA Today last November: “Since 9/11, more than three dozen Federal air marshals have been charged with crimes, and hundreds more have been accused of misconduct. Cases range from drunken driving and domestic violence to aiding a human-trafficking ring and trying to smuggle explosives from Afghanistan.

Actually, there have been many more arrests of Federal air marshals than that story reported, quite a few for felony offenses. In fact, more air marshals have been arrested than the number of people arrested by air marshals.

We now have approximately 4,000 in the Federal Air Marshals Service, yet they have made an average of just 4.2 arrests a year since 2001. This comes out to an average of about one arrest a year per 1,000 employees.

Now, let me make that clear. Their thousands of employees are not making one arrest per year each. They are averaging slightly over four arrests each year by the entire agency. In other words, we are spending approximately $200 million per arrest. Let me repeat that: we are spending approximately $200 million per arrest."

Your Federal government at work, boys and girls. WOOHOO! I feel MUCH better about trusting them with Health Care Reform after reading this!


Tip O' The Hat to FARK

It's Called Murder

That is what happened in that mine in West Virginia the other day,Mass Murder.
Twenty five confirmed deaths and four unaccounted for after what many believe was a methane blast inside the mine.

Last year, MSHA ordered the mine closed 29 times to correct problems found by inspectors, said Stricklin. He did not know why each citation was issued or how long the mine was forced to close each time, but closure times can vary widely.

"Any time you issue a D order, it's a very bad condition," Stricklin said. "I don't want to call it unusual, but it's a serious condition."

At the sprawling coal mine where 25 perished in an explosion this week, regulators found that dirty air was being directed into an escapeway where fresh air should be. An emergency air system was flowing in the wrong direction, which could leave workers without fresh air in their primary escape route.

Terry Moore, the mine foreman, told officials that he was aware of one of the problems found during a January inspection and that it had been occurring for about three weeks.

The air-flow problems are among a string of safety violations that federal inspectors found in the months and days leading up to the deadliest mining disaster in more than a quarter-century.

"Mr. Moore engaged in aggravated conduct constituting more than ordinary negligence in that he was aware of the condition," the Mine Safety and Health Administration wrote in fining the company a combined $130,000.


Massey subsidiary Performance Coal Co., continued to rack up citations until the day of the blast. MSHA inspectors ticketed the mine Monday over inadequate maps of escape routes and an improper splice of electrical cable on a piece of equipment.


Now get a load of this,

Neither violation the day of the blast was life-threatening, said Massey spokesman Jeff Gillenwater.


There is a hell of a lot more to this story.

There is very disturbing pattern here which can be found when you see that Massey has forty one other mines that are operated in this manner.

Massey Energy — the Virginia-based coal giant that owns the Upper Big Branch mine, the site of Monday’s tragedy — also controls 41 other underground coal mines currently active in Appalachia. Investigators have cited those projects for 2,074 safety violations since the start of the year, according to federal documents. The citations run a spectrum, but hundreds charge mine operators with failing to maintain air quality detectors, failing to ensure proper ventilation, allowing combustible material to accumulate, and a host of other infractions related to miner safety.


My emphasis.
There is much, much more damning evidence here.

As it is, from right here, I would say that at least twenty five charges of Pre Meditated Murder are called for.

Wednesday, April 07, 2010

Might Be Kinda Quiet Around Here Next Week

I ain't going to have teh internets at the Weasel Den until next Friday so it might be a little quieter than usual around here until then.
Maybe my pal Sponge Bob Crack Whore can fill in a bit over the weekend, I am going to be busy anyway.
I will still be posting here and there next week from work during lunch but it will be light stuff, I don't usually get into a good rant mode until after work.

Stay tuned, it ain't a decent day if I haven't pissed someone, somewhere, off real good.

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

Really that bad...or simply evolving?

This is a pretty interesting article about some relatively big companies that are on the brink of failure because they've neglected to adapt their business models to current market demands and/or put themselves so far in the hole that they can't dig out.

After my last godless post somebody commented that they were shocked I believe in science and evolution. I do. The evidence is solid enough to be irrefutable except by idiots with their own opposite agenda to push. I like what the author Tom Robbins said. "If there is a God he shot his wad on the creation". Then he rolled over and has been napping ever since.

I'm not so sure that the current economic upheaval is quite the Armageddon that some are claiming it to be. Industrialization, and the attendant economic power, began in Europe and then moved west to America and is now moving west again to China. Europe didn't disappear when America became a superpower, in spite of having to recover from two World Wars. Former world powers England, France and Germany had to adapt to lesser positions but they survived. It is worth noting, I think, that Spain and Portugal (who were already former world powers themselves by that time) mostly sat out the World Wars.

It is true that the current economic situation is bad. There's no fucking doubt about it. And I believe it'll get worse before it gets better. The current political situation is in the same boat. As OB noted in the post below the Republicans are in the process of eating one another alive. more so than the Democrats did when GWB was elected. And 40 years of what now? Make it 45 and the Democrats have had Johnson, Carter and Clinton so you can't claim an uninterrupted orgy of Conservatism. Democracy is only fun when your side wins. If there have been 40 years of anything it has been what the majority voted for.

That being said, I see no reason for this economic downturn to last indefinitely. Our businesses, large and small, will have to re-examine the way they do things. Our government will have to help them as best they can without putting the taxpayers (and subsequent generations) in debt up to our eyeballs. We the people will have to get over our credit addictions and stop living beyond our means. I firmly believe that we have put ourselves in this mess, all of us together...government, corporations and consumers alike.

The world is changing and we need to adapt. Evolutionary pressures that cause us to differentiate into separate species isn't an option if we intend to survive.


Monday, April 05, 2010

The Fracturing Of The Republican Party Is Giving Me A Woody

Damn, this is more fun to watch than little kids trying to grab a greased pig at the fair.

The Republicans are in full Cannibal mode and I am laughing my ass off.
Over forty years them sonsabitches have been fucking over the Average American with their media dominance and their constant call for tax cuts, the ever worsening dirty, nasty campaign tactics and their out and out lying.

Ah, the sweet smell of inter party hand grenade lobbing is a joy to behold.

After eight fucking years of their nadir of destroying anything decent about this country, the pendulum swings the other way.

My real hope is to see a great bunch of arrests and trials, alas that isn't going to happen because the new regime is just as fucking dirty, in certain ways.

No, my real enjoyment lately is watching the Republican party explode into little splinter groups and eating their own.

Ahh , the TeaBaggers are fucking awesome!

Of course, then we have that naughty little vixen, the quitta from Wasilla. A never ending source of cheap entertainment.

I could go on and on and on and on and on,and on, and on, and on.

But I tire and I will come back to this again because these people are dirty fucking assholes and I will give them no quarter.

Damn, I forgot the Unemployment and Flood Insurance debacles that need to be laid right at their feet too.

If you still consider yourself to be a loyal Republican, then I seriously suggest you look at the definition of Domestic Terrorism.

Sunday, April 04, 2010

Another piece in the puzzle.

My great grandmother used to do jigsaw puzzles upside down. No picture, just the cardboard side.

She had nothin' on these guys...trying to make sense of the past in real terms, with no invisible-sky-wizard explanations.

Every time somebody says there's no proof for evolution I wanna mack 'em in the head with a fucking fossilized bone that says "yes...yes, there is".

I know it's insensitive of me to do this on Easter but whatever. Isn't Easter the day the giant bunny rolls the rock out from in front of the cave and if Jesus sees his shadow there's six more weeks of winter?

I don't sue me.

No worries here. I know I'm goin' straight to hell. I got a window seat reserved.


Happy Easter From Ornery Bastard

I certainly hope everyone is enjoying the good company of their family and devouring an excellent Easter meal just like I did a few moments ago.

Let me take a moment to give a big shout out to my Mom, hellofa meal honey.

I tell ya, Those Spiral Cut Hams are one of my favorite things to eat.

They are fucking expensive but you can eat all damn week on one of those things, even after a family dinner.

Ham sandwiches, Scalloped potatoes and ham, Split Pea soup with ham, scrambled eggs and ham, it is truly a great meal stretcher.

Just a little bit of ham is a great flavor enhancer in any dish.

Thanks fer stopping by, I am savoring a nice whiskey and I see a nap in my future.

Friday, April 02, 2010

Random Ranting

Because I have nothing better to do at the moment here's a list of a few people that I hope get run over by a bus sometime in the near future. Or a dump truck. Or better yet a steam roller with big fucking six inch spikes on it.

Dick Cheney. This cocksucking bastard is the single most dangerous man ever to hold a position of power in the US government. As far back as the Nixon administration he is on record as wanting to increase the power of the Executive Branch (which he conveniently claimed not to be PART OF as Vice President) to such an extent that it would basically turn the President into the King. The man wiped his ass with the Constitution. Fuck you. I think his mom had a premonition when she named him Dick. Rot in hell, you treasonous motherfucker.

Bono. Take off the rose colored glasses and stop whining about Africa, you magnanimous fuckhead. I like what Sam Kinison had to say about Africa..."They don't need food, they need U-Hauls! It's SAND! YOU CAN'T GROW FOOD IN SAND!" Instead of schmoozing the Pope and any head-of-state your manager can con into a photo-op why don't you donate some of your own damn millions? Why the fuck are you even famous? Take your one-note guitar player and piss off. Oh, and you might have to wait until he's done sucking off Hugo Chavez but take that dickwad Sean Penn with ya.

Michael Moore. Don't even get me started about that fat disgusting piece of shit. All he does is make crockumentaries and laugh all the way to the bank. I'd be laughing too if all I cared about was sucking up to hipster douchebags on the red carpet at Cannes and hoping no one noticed what a fucking hypocrite I was for owning stock in Haliburton. Roger And Me was a halfway decent concept but he took it way too far and now he's a fucking parasite who can't do anything but sucker punch people on camera for shock value. The only way he can possibly hold his head up is that big fat neck, which just goes from his chin to his breastbone.

Bill Belichick. Yeah, the "football" coach. It ain't REAL football but whatever. Caught cheating on his wife and caught cheating by the NFL. I hate his fucking guts because I used to be a huge Cleveland Browns fan and I will NEVER forgive the sonofabitch for what he did to Bernie Kosar. Bernie's last play as a Brown was not the one Belichick sent in. He saw something in the defense, literally drew up a play in the baseball infield dirt of Cleveland Stadium and threw a 42 yard TD pass in a blow out loss. Belichick went ballistic and benched him on the spot for changing the play. He was released the next day. I haven't watched 5 minutes of football since the original Browns moved to Baltimore. I hate Bill Belichick with a fucking passion.

John Faenza. You don't know him. He was the Executive Chef in a restaurant I worked in. I was his Sous Chef, which is French for "Assistant to the Chef". Basically, the Sous does all the fucking work and runs the kitchen while the Exec takes all the credit. Whatever. That's the way the system works...but this asshole was something special. I once did a carving of a nesting hen turkey for Thanksgiving out of two 60 pound blocks of butter. It came out pretty fucking good, too. It was the centerpiece and people loved it so much they didn't even scoop butter off it. Anyway, I went out to the bar to get a coke and here's this guy, in his little Chef hat and coat even though he didn't even fucking WORK that day, telling this awe-struck couple exactly where he learned how to carve butter, exactly how long it took him and exactly what tools he used. The little fuck never knew I overheard him. I thought about it and then walked two days later. On a Saturday afternoon. With 400 reservations on the book. They called me in a panic and I hung up on 'em. Fuck you John Faenza, you fucking piece of shit.


Thursday, April 01, 2010

Another One Of Those Days

No rest fer the wicked, I swear I was Ghengis Kahn in a previous life.

Mad crazy at work, worse than usual.
I got off and went straight to my favorite down time place fer a half hour and came home.
I am sitting here with a fresh cold one in my hand, yakking with the nose breaker neighbor, when there is a fairly urgent knock on the door.

I open the door and a little neighbor kid is standing there, very agitated, telling me I need to go help his Mom, she cut herself and needs to go to the hospital.

I tell him I'll be there shortly and go grab some bandages and shit and amble over there directly.
On the way, I see another neighbor lady panicking because they went to her first but she has Epilepsy and can't drive.
No one around here has a fucking drivers license, including the cut lady's husband, who was working overtime.

I went in and made her take the fucking Duct Tape off and told her she would live, but sure as shit, she was going to need stitches.

I loaded her and the kid up and drove fifteen miles to the Emergency room and believe this shit, they have Valet Parking!
Fuck no, I will park the sonofabitch myself, thank you, and I dropped her off.

When I get back, they say no visitors.
What. The. Fuck. Ever..

I sit my happy ass down next to the door and wait, and wait, and wait.

I finally got up after an hour and a half to go have a fucking smoke.
For those not familiar with Washington State's Smoking Law, you have to be at least twenty five feet from any door, window or fresh air intake to smoke in public, unless, you are walking past any one of the above.
So, I walked thirty feet away and lit up.

My bad, Private Property, and the dickhead tells me I am lucky that I can stand next to a fucking stop sign a block away.
Yeah Pal, yer lucky I give a rat fuck.
Call the fucking cops, Jesus.

After that bit of refreshment, I get the joy of paying a buck fifty for a shitty cup of coffee to soothe my frayed nerves while I wait.
In the mean time, I see twelve people go in and out of this joint, including one old lady who had two , developmentally challenged, children, who parked her old ass right in front of the sliding doors with a forty degree wind blowing through, right after I heard her tell the fucking idiot, twice, that she was cold and not to put her there.
I finally couldn't stand it and got up and asked the lady if she minded if I wheeled her out of the fucking wind. She was most grateful.
Two and a half hours after I got there, the kid comes out and says it will be ten more minutes.
I told him in hospital time, that was another fucking hour.

I got there at seven and left at ten. It is now Ten fucking thirty and I get to get up and go to work again.

Damn, I am a nice guy.

There's stupid and then there's Somali Pirate stupid

BUWAHAHAHAHA! They attacked the USS Nicholas FFG-47 with a skiff?

Oliver Hazard Perry-class guided missile frigates are armed with a 76mm water cooled gun capable of firing 120 rounds per minute, not to mention all the other armament they sport.

And they attacked it in a small sea-going fishing boat with some AK-47s and RPGs. BUWAHAHAHAHA!

From the article: "It was not the first attack against a Navy ship, but it underscored the fact that most pirates aren't terribly sophisticated".

I'm not often truly entertained by the news but as an ex-member of Uncle Sam's Canoe Club I just can't stop laughing at this shit.