Monday, April 12, 2010

Vote For Me

I have come to the conclusion that no one should ever read, watch or listen to anything they disagree with. Any and all viewpoints that are contradictory or even slightly dissimilar to a persons own should be shunned like the plague and I aim to make it mandatory.

No good at all can come from opposing opinions. In the entire history of the world not one person has ever learned a thing or even refined their own views by listening to somebody else say something they didn't particularly like.

That is why I am calling for the immediate criminalization of any and all opposing points of view. Under this new legislation it will be a federal offense, punishable by a severe talking to, for anyone to hold or form any opinion or view that is not perfectly synchronised with the opinions and views of anyone and everyone who might or might not listen to, read, watch, stumble upon, partake of, indulge in, overhear or otherwise be disgusted by the complete bullshit they have just been exposed to.

Re-education camps will be set up for repeat offenders. I advise you all to stay off the interwebs and not say a single word lest it be taken by another person as not being in line with what they think and believe. The time has come for all of us to think exactly alike, hold all the same opinions and be just like one other in every imaginable way. Sure, it'll be boring as fuck but it'll also end all opposition to all things.

And if you think THAT'S extreme wait'll you get a load of my "bubble-wrap-clothes-for-anyone-venturing-outside" law.