Saturday, April 17, 2010
Apparently Sluts Cause Earthquakes
Okay, I've always known that religion causes people to believe stupid shit but this guy takes the cake. Ignorant fucking bastard.
"Many women who dress inappropriately ... cause youths to go astray, taint their chastity and incite extramarital sex in society, which increases earthquakes," Ayatollah Kazem Sedighi told worshippers at overnight prayers in Tehran.
Silly me...I thought earthquakes were caused by the movement of tectonic plates and the sudden release of energy from pressure and stress built up along fault lines. Turns out they're caused by Iranian sluts in tight coats and flimsy headscarves and layers of skilfully applied makeup. Who knew? I stand corrected.
"Calamities are the result of people's deeds," he was quoted as saying by reformist Aftab-e Yazd newspaper. "We have no way but conform to Islam to ward off dangers."
Well there ya go. It's just that easy. Why didn't somebody tell me before? I'm off to the dollar store for a checkered table cloth and a couple o' bungee cords to wrap around my head. No, wait...Islam doesn't allow alcohol so fuck that. How 'bout we compromise and I declare Jihad on a six pack of beer?
Iran is one of the most seismically active countries in the world, being crossed by several major fault lines that cover at least 90% of the country. As a result, earthquakes in Iran occur often and are destructive.
The worst in recent times hit the southern city of Bam in December 2003, killing 31,000 people - about a quarter of the population - and destroying its ancient mud-built citadel.
Mud-built? In one of the most seismically active places on earth? That makes sense in a bizarre kind of way. After every earthquake you have plenty of material to re-build so it can happen all over again. You're gonna need it because according to that map there are a lot of sluts...I mean fault lines, yeah that's it, fault lines...in Iran.