Ornery Bastard: Fuck You, Jimmy Dean

Friday, October 29, 2010

Fuck You, Jimmy Dean

I am still laughing so hard I have tears running down my face.
"Six hundred pounds of men"., over a fucking roll of sausage.
Comedy gold.

13 comments:

nunya said...: Somebody done started on the Bloody Mary"s before they went and called the Jimmy Dean hotline. lol; 8:22 PM
Tim said...: Sounds like a tea bagger to me...
Probably has his plump ass in a hoveround complaining the Guberent is taking his sausage away. Hot Damn!!!
They call it pure pork for a reason...; 9:00 PM
Larue said...: Fuckin beautiful!

Dude's got a point, 4 oz less for the same price.

" . . . . pussy roll of sausage."

That's a doozy Busted, good find and share.; 12:04 AM
Larue said...: AND, they eat t-bone steaks AND sausage and dozens of eggs at breakfast!

Texas, they grow 'em plump.

*G*; 12:06 AM
BadTux said...: "600 pounds of men"... why was I getting images in my head of certain areas of the Castro district of San Francisco during Pride Week when I heard that ;). (The term is "bear", BTW -- very hairy heavy men, generally decked out in gear that these good ole' boys from Texas would immediately recognize, heh!).

Dude has a point about how shit's being downsized left and right though. Used to be, a can of tuna was 7 ounces. Then it became 6 ounces, which still worked okay in my recipes, they just were a little less tuna-y. Then goddamned fucking WALLY-WORLD convinced whoever was selling them their tuna to cut it down to *5* ounces so they could undercut the price of everybody else (selling less tuna for, err, less). A five ounce can of tuna ain't 'nuff to make my tuna casserole taste like tuna, but *two* five-ounce cans of tuna make it *too* tuna-y. So maybe this dude's method was whack, but he has a good fuckin' point, yo -- these assholes messing with the size of packages that we depend on for figurin' out how much to put into our recipes are, well, assholes, and well worth having their downsized roll of sausage called a "pussy roll of sausage", heh.

- Badtux the Tuna-lovin' Penguin; 10:44 AM
chinasyndrome said...: Thank you! I bout blew Mt Dew outta my .I fuckin wanna eat gaddamm it! Still fuckin laughing got tears my eyes dude is fucking serious.Thanks

China
III; 11:09 AM
Jerry Critter said...: Oh come on now. The man's a fucking Texan. He ought to man up and just buy two 12 oz packages and quit bitchin' and soundin' like a little girlie man.; 12:55 PM
Mayberry said...: Goddamn straight, that's how we Texans roll. We don't want no fuckin' little pussy 12 oz roll.

Jerry, apparently you like to get fucked...; 3:22 PM
Jerry Critter said...: What Mayberry!?! You want to fuck me? Wow, a gay Texan! I didn't know you existed. How are they hanging, dude?; 8:16 PM
montag said...: You have to admire a man who knows what he wants and won't settle for anything less.; 9:52 PM
BadTux said...: A picture of his family is at the top right on this page. Heh.

Montag, yeppers, a man who knows what he wants. But given his description -- "600 pounds of men" -- maybe he ought to get a little less of what he wants, just for the sake of his poor screaming arteries, y'know, heh.

- Badtux the Snarky Penguin; 10:18 PM
Gordon said...: Just do like I do - wait for it to go on sale "buy one, get one free" and stock up. It's easier to whine than think a little, I guess. Yeesh.; 11:01 AM
Anonymous said...: And we wonder why we have 2/3 obesity in this country. Fuckin A this sonofbitch can't do without 2000 calories per meal and yet I'll bet the fucker only burns about half that. I understand about downsizing the packaging and then charging the same. But shit dude, back away from the sausage. more than a dozen eggs for breakfast, jeez. Maybe it's the darwininion way of getting rid of the stupid people.

bustedsbro; 11:33 AM