Ya know what that means, don't ya?
Best Friends Forever.
I has three.
That is no joke and it is so fucking rare I am going to revel in it.
I have three friends that I know if I need a hand, they will be there.
How many you got?
I know hundreds of people, I am a gregarious sonofabitch, I get along with almost everyone. I'm just that kind of guy.
If ya got tits, I love you before I know yer name!
My buddy Steve, I fucking love that guy.
He is smarter than I am by about a half a mile, he takes care of my narrow ass on a regular basis, he is ALWAYS looking out for me.Serious this guy goes out of his way sometimes.
Dude, if ya read this, I fuckin' love ya.
I have a very dear friend that I have known for over twenty five years, my buddy Goofy Danny.
This guy kept me from starving to death when I was laid up with a serious case of lower back fusion at 25 years old.
We go back a long ways.. Crazy? that fucking guy kicked the living shit, literally, out of three guys at a stop light one time, Not one of those assholes ever even got out of the car.One of them flipped us off at a stoplight and took off, We were in a fucking Volkswagon bus and I wound that bitch up and kept right next to them until we got to the next light. I slammed on the brakes and Danny jumped out with the jack in his hand, He literally jumped over and slammed that jack into the rear quarter of the POS they were in three fucking times before they even knew what the fuck was going on and then all hell broke loose.
He did a round house kick THROUGH the drivers window and caught the asshole that started the fraccass right in the mouth, then he reached around that guy and punched the guy in the back seat right in the cocksucker and took him out with one punch.
Now, if I had not been there and saw this with my own eyes I would not believe it but Danny slid across the hood of the car like Starsky and Hutch and while the third dickhead was trying to get out of the car, started slamming the door on his leg repeatedly until said asshole decided it was better to get back in the car.
The best part?
We were in downtown San Jose and there was a fucking cop sitting at the same stop light on the other side watching the whole thing, I shit you not. Danny got back in the van and I said, "We are going to jail, look over there".
The light turned green and I turned right,from the left lane, right in front of three guys sitting in a car bleeding and the cop went through the light, hung a U turn and turned on the lights.
He pulled up behind the three guys and me and Danny drove away.
True story.
That is a true friend.
Last but not least is my pal Sponge Bob Crack Whore.
I have never met anyone in my life who is so much like me, physically and mentally.
People think we are brothers, we look so much alike.
Ornery? oh you fucking betcha.
A great guy?
Oh you double fucking betcha.
Both of us are nice guy's, I hate to admit that but my girlfriend keeps blowing my cover and tells everyone what a sweet guy I am, dammit.
Anyways, this is getting a bit long but I just wanted to give a shout out to my pals.
Sponge Bob?
Dude, thanks for the bottle of Jamesons Gold Reserve, I lied when I said I wasn't going to open it here at Nasty Girl's, it is awesome.
By the way dude, I think your bumper isn't that bad.
LOL! that was funny as hell watching you back up on that giant fucking boulder.
It was great to see ya again and we need to do that more often.
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