I Hate It When That Happens.

Fuck me, what a day.

I went to that new job yesterday, only to be led to a conference room and got sat down with four fucking 3 ring binders and twelve pages of shit to look up and study.

Unfortunately, the dude didn't quite make it really clear just what it was I was supposed to look up and he disappeared.

Being the quick reader I am, I read it all.

By the way, he says there will be a test on this.

After about an hour of reading all this crap this morning, again,, it got real fucking technical, as in rocket science shit.
Some guy finally comes in and tells me I am doing it wrong and these are the things I am supposed to be reading.

Nice.

I spent all day today going over that and the rocket science part, which gave me eye strain and a huge brain fart.

Anyone out there know what the fuck 1.03times ten to the third power torr equals just how many microns of vacuum?

I sure as fuck don't have a clue.

I have worked with vacuum trucks but we always used inches of vacuum.

Then they got into about seventeen different kinds of thermo couples and just when and where they could be used and how often they had to be tested and replaced and just about then my fucking eyes glazed over.

Uncle!

Oh no, then they got into how they had to be tested and there are several different applications for these little fuckers depending on what they are wired into and how.

By now I had to go outside and have a smoke and figure out how I am going to bullshit my way out of this on the test.

I have no clue.

I kinda figured out the testing they are talking about and what it is for but fuuuuck me if I know what the fuck else they are talking about.

Two fucking days I have been going through this.

On another note, just for shits and grins, The Wife mentioned the other day how slow my new Net Book was.
She did some maintenance on it, right after I did because I had noticed it too.
Scan that sonofabitch until the cows come home and it says everything is fine.

My ass.
It up and fucking died yesterday to the point I can't even get it to start in Safe Mode.

Dirty sonsabitches that get their rocks off sending viruses, they need to be gutted like a fish.

Sure as shit, even the Windows 7 sir fixalot has no clue.

I ain't got time for that shit right now.

I tried getting this old bastard PC up and going and it gave me fits for an hour, just to find out the wireless mouse went tits up in the mean time.

Back in the truck down to Bi Mart to get a new one.
Brought it home and fucked with it for a half hour and by then I was completely whupped from the last three weeks and the stress of the new job.

Fuck it, out I went.

It was still daylight when I called it a day.

Ain't been sleeping for shit either, I keep waking up in the middle of the night and can't go back to sleep.


Ahhh, there I am, in Dream Land, all of a sudden I hear a fucking lawn mower!

WTF?

I wake up pissed clear the fuck off and roll over and it is pretty dark.

I glanced at my watch, didn't have my glasses on and was instantly pissed.

Who the fuck is mowing their lawn at quarter after seven in the morning?

I jumped the fuck up and grabbed the 18 volt flashlight and headed out the door to chew some motherfucker a new asshole when a little light went off in my head....

Quarter after seven, in the morning?

I'M FUCKING LATE!!!

Hoooly shit!
I ran back in the Weasel Den and threw my britches on and brushed my teeth, jumped in the fucking truck and hauled fucking ass.

Of course, the roads are all tore up around here and the speed limit is 45 for five miles.

I finally hit the freeway and stomped on it.

I came flying into the parking lot with the brakes trying to lock up, dove out of the truck half awake and ran up to the front doors.

They were locked.

I saw a side door open but you can't go in there without safety glasses or they will write yer ass up.

Back to the truck, dig out the tool bag, dump it on the seat and find my Stevie Wonder safety glasses and dive in.

I went straight to the conference room and, what a surprise, it was locked too.

I found some guys in the lunch room and told them I was late and needed to talk to so and so. They looked at me and said he wasn't there yet.

Now I am confused because it is quarter to eight and he starts at seven.

They get on the horn and page some other dude and after ten minutes I went and had them go to call him again because it is loud in there and he might not have heard the page.

Never mind , this guy says, we will just go find him.
Walk across the whole plant, meet the guy and tell him who I am looking for and he says, "He doesn't come in until seven".
I says, it's quarter to eight and I am late.
The guy looks at me and says, "in the morning".

The little light comes on in my head again.

I am eleven fucking hours early.

I fucking hate Fall.

Apparently that gave me enough time to come home and figure out the problem with the new mouse.

It's been a long , long, fucking day and I am going to fall down again.