Sunday, August 15, 2010

Some Stupid Fuckers Need Their Asses Kicked

You have got to be fucking kidding me.

WELLINGTON, New Zealand – A crate of Scotch whisky that was trapped in Antarctic ice for a century was finally opened Friday — but the heritage dram won't be tasted by whiskey lovers because it's being preserved for its historical significance.

Let's get something straight right the fuck now.
The only reason God invented whiskey in the first place was to prevent the Irish from ruling the fucking world.

Nice strategy Big Guy, it seems to be working.
Now then, the only reason anyone makes whiskey is so YOU CAN FUCKING DRINK IT!!

But no.
Some ignorant fucking asshole decides that after they found a WHOLE CASE of hundred year old whiskey under a fucking porch in a place less than a thousand people go to, for a damn good reason, that it should be "tested" with a fucking needle through the cork, did I mention this is One Hundred Year Old Scotch?

Bring me that mans head.

Go read the whole article, I have been following this story like a welfare queen after a check.

What actually infuriates me, is that some tight assed mother fucker thinks that it is OK to put the shit BACK UNDER A PORCH IN ANTARCTICA!!
You fucking idiot sonofabitches!
Oh, it's for historical reasons.
That makes it all better.

Jesus Fucking Christ.

 I couldn't beat you senseless, apparently someone has already done that.

 Seriously, you are going to put a whole case of hunnerd year old whiskey back under a mother fucking porch in Antarctica and not give one fucking Big Wig who funded the research one single taste?
You need a severe beating.

Two things I did notice, that case of hundred year old Scotch only had eleven bottles in it, as they reported.
Not a full case where I come from. That would be twelve.

The other. the original recipe has been lost so they are going to try and replicate it.
I ain't going to live another hundred and fifty fucking years.

Open one of those sonsabitches right the fuck now, let someone enjoy a beautiful bottle of ancient Scotch, keep two for your scientific purposes, put some iced fucking tea in the rest of the bottles and THEN, put those back under the porch of a fucking shack out in the middle of nowhere in Antarctica.

Say Hi to the fucking penguins while yer there.



  1. Some things are just plain wrong.
    This be one of them.

  2. Gots to agree with you on this one.

    When I was in USAREUR in the mid seventies, the Army found a cache of rum, scotch, and brandy that they confiscated from the Germans in 1945 and then lost track of.

    They sold the stuff through the class six store and I got hold of two bottles of the rum and it was and still is the best stuff I have ever drank.

    Like you said, keep two and then raffle off the rest to someone who will enjoy it.


  3. Andrea3:36 PM

    That shit was funny! I laughed out loud....and I'm have one bottle for me.......fuck it, grab 'em all........I'll quit again later :)

  4. That's just fucking sick! That shit ain't right! Somewhere a dead Scot is blowing a fuckin' head gasket...

  5. Ah, but you're ruining this guy's scam! How would anyone know if what goes back in the ice is what got pulled out? Hmm?
    This way they get to act all superior and drink all that scotch!

  6. Tis a mighty pity of a waste, isn't it? You know the guy who put the stuff under the porch---where ever he is now, is swearing in frustration. He sure was not planning a sober science experiment when he left it there!

  7. Anonymous12:24 PM

    Its all fucking lies, fellows. Normally not even single human being will ever commit of doing such a horrific act of treason. Especially in damn cold Antarctica. Secondly, the shit supposed to be over-frozen after reaching fucking 51 minus (Celsius). I've seen fucking vodka became a god damn translucent custard after single night outside. And in Antarctica freezes are almost to -89 Celsius (recorded).
    The lowest I've got was -61 so far and our rig was stopped for 3 days until temperature rises to -58
    Forget fucking vodka, you cannot use god damn hammer outside in such condition.

    .I usedd to drill 220 kilometers NE near the Oimyakon, Sakha (