Sunday, August 01, 2010

Fucking Rooky

" And this is where I piss someone off"

Dude, think large.
One person?
LMFAO, I piss 'em all off, all the way to the Sergeant of Arms for the fucking Senate.
No, I'm not gone yet, I said it would be a couple of days.
Nice jewelery box dude.

Sometimes a vacation involves being unconscience, this is one of those times.
I have pretty much been knocked the fuck out since Friday afternoon, after I had to pull the Motherfucking transmission out of my Motherfucking truck for the Mother fucking EIGHTH GODDAMN TIME.
The slave cylinder puked right in the shop trying to bail out early.
In and out in three and a half fucking hours with some help from my friends.
I have been drunk and laying around ever since.
My lower back is fucking fried. Laying on a concrete floor wrestling with that sonofabitch.

Those dirty fucking bastards at Ford should be dragged out of their cute little cubicles with the pictures of their cute little Grand daughters and  be made to work on the crap they design with a fucking hammer and a bent screw driver for the rest of their natural lives.
Who the fuck designs a goddamn transmission with a rounded bottom?
Hello?
The fucking tranny jack has a flat plate. Every fucking cock sucker on this planet that has ever dealt with this knows that.
But no.
Y'all asshole fucking bastards didn't even design this particular transmission, it's a fucking JAP tranny from Mazda.
Even more bad Karma for you fucking assholes. A JAP tranny in a fucking Ford truck.

Shame on you.
I busted yet another knuckle fucking around trying to get this roly poly rotten piece of shit to stay up right on the transmission jack and I am still seriously pissed off at you fucking bastards.
Jesus Christ.
I had 2x4's under it, I had sockets under it to keep it from slopping one way for the other. I had two other guys under that fucking truck trying to keep that fucking transmission upright so we could stab the damn thing into the clutch.
I have invested over eighty thousand dollars in tools, I have four Roll Aways full of them not to mention things like engine pullers and engine stands, yadda fucking yadda. Little tiny wobbly sockets that cost thirty five dollars apiece.
Think socket, set, as in standard and metric.Four hundred bucks for a set of quarter inch drive wobbly sockets. The cute little ratchets are seventy bucks apiece.


Shit, one fucking screw driver from Snap On is twenty bucks, one. People wonder why I won't lend them a screwdriver so they can just set it down and walk away.
The three eights ratchets that you can buy  a whole socket set from Schmucks for four bucks costs a hundred, for one ratchet.
I won't even get into the heavy duty truck stuff, one wrench is a hundred and a quarter. Ya wonder why it costs so much to get yer damn car fixed?.

These guy's at Ford have BILLIONS of dollars at their hands and still can't build a decent fucking car.

I say, get your fat ass out of your little cubicle and lay on a concrete fucking floor and fix what you just designed over and over again, until the blood is running down your fucking arms and then maybe, just maybe, you will learn how to design a fucking car.

Think maybe I need a little vacation?

Update,
My pal Badtux thought maybe this is one of those little Ranger pickups that Ford went half and half with Mazda on.
Nope, 1995 Ford F-150 with a straight six and a Jap tranny.

Fuckers.

7 comments:

  1. This was one of them damned Ford Rangers, wasn't it? Those things were actually designed by Mazda, not Ford. So what you want is to throttle some Japanese engineer in, like, Japan, not some Ford engineer. About the only thing Ford designed on the thing was some of the engines, which they then managed to wedge into an engine bay designed for Jap engines... which is why the engine bay is so difficult to work in. Any wonder that when I bought my second small truck, it was a Chevy S-10 rather than Ford Ranger? At least the Chevy had a stone axe reliable pushrod V6 motor that was 3/4ths of the famous Chevy 350 V8, and the exact same transmission as the bottom of the line Silverado full-sized pickup truck with a V8 engine. I figured that would be the most reliable setup I could get in a small truck. And I gotta say it was reliable as a brick, until I managed to slam the damned truck into the back of a Toyota while trying to avoid T-boning a fucking ambulance that popped into the intersection lickity split without any warning...

    - Badtux the Formerly Truckin' Penguin

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  2. 95 F150, that's what pisses me off.
    Straight six with a fucking JAP tranny behind it.

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  3. Holy crap, no wonder that little Jap tranny keeps pissing its innards all over the fucking road. That 300 cubic inch I6 had about as much horsepower as your average lawn tractor, but enough torque to make most of Ford's V8's at the time envious, it needs a real transmission behind it, not some puny Jap crap. I briefly considered one of those Fords (that was the last year for the I6, correct?), now that I'm hearing your issues with the thing, I'm damn glad I didn't.

    - Badtux the Wrenchin' Penguin

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  4. I don't remember when they quit building the in line six but it is right around then, What kills me is I drive the absolute twin to this thing, they were both purchased at the same time, it has two hundred forty six thousand miles on it and I have put a clutch in it once.
    It's starting to make some funny noises but I tend to beat on 'em.
    This whole transmission thing started five years ago, when I happened to be on vacation, and some guy broke a shaft in it in half and didn't bother to have the fly wheel shaved. It's been a mess ever since, I have had the thing professionally rebuilt by a friend who guarrenties his work and he finally gave up. He bought one out of a wrecking yard out of his own pocket, rebuilt it and told me not to come back, basically.
    I wrecked it on some black ice passing a family in a van, going forty miles an hour. The insurance totalled it, as they should have, I got all four corners to some degree and a door to boot. My boss fucked around for three months before just coming out and telling me I should buy it, which I am. It runs great and I ain't worried a bit about parking in front of a tavern...
    Two hundred and six thousand, I have done a TON of maintenance to this thing, it should be good for another hundred thousand miles, if I can keep the transmission in it.

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  5. I feel yer pain, pal.

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  6. You must drive a lot, my husband's 94 F-150 doesn't have that many miles on it, he's still driving it. Two belts, a clutch, a water pump, and batteries is I think all he's done to it. I can drive it, but I hate it. We spent a month in it traveling. Even with a camper shell, trying to sleep in a moving truck all night sucks.

    Dude, I don't even know what he's got invested in tools, but I do know he points me in the direction of the old tool box if I need to do something, lol.

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  7. Anonymous9:03 AM

    OB, if it has rounded bottom, would it be possible to carve out something tempo from a chank of wood or cuts of 2x4s to secure that bitch on flat raiser of tranny jack?

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