Let Me Entertain You.

Do ya like horror stories?
I just had the living shit scared out of me.

I don't give a FUCK who says I am a paranoid, tin foil hat wearing whack job, this just fucking happened to me, I was actually paying serious attention.

I have been staying at my parents place while they are on vacation.

OK, done deal. I take care of the garbage and recycling and whatever mail comes through.
This ain't my first rodeo, they had their mailing address changed to where they are staying.
Thank Goodness, I swear they are keeping the local post office on overtime just for the fucking junk mail they get.
Another part of staying here is the very important part of keeping an eye out for my Granny.
Ya gotta watching out for them, they tend to want to do their own thing, like I blame 'em, they just break real easy.
So, to my point now.
I just got here a little bit ago and the phone rang.
Granny can't hear for shit so I answer the phone when I am here.

I answered the sonovabitch and get a recorded message that there has been some suspicious activity on my charge card.
That would be my parents card, they don't know I even exist, I just answered the fucking phone.


OK, this sounds fairly serious so I hang up the fucking phone and call my Dad.

I do believe that is a reasonable reaction?

I ask him if they have used a credit card to buy something relatively expensive.
He says no.
OK, here is what I just got a phone call here about and...

Beep Beep. My motherfucking Cell phone from work starts going off, I have another incoming call on the phone I am talking to my Dad on, so I click over and it is the fucking credit card company on my Dads phone and the dirty fucking bastards are on my WORK CELL PHONE AT THE SAME TIME!!!!
My cell phone number is from a completely different state!

Answer me this, a credit card company calls to warn my parents there is some suspicious activity on their card.
I answer the phone but cannot give them any kind of authorization information, so I hang up.
I call my Dad and the next thing I know, my fucking cell phone starts ringing at the same time my parents phone does when you have an incoming call, and when I hang up, both phones go to a dial tone and I can hear my cell phone hangs up a micro second before my parents phone goes dead.

I don't give a rats ass if you can't put two and two together, I sure as fuck can.
There is some wicked assed fucking technology being used against us and that just scared the living shit out of me.

In case you think I am paranoid, yer damn straight I am, there is a GPS chip in my cell phone.