Monday, April 06, 2009

Home Sweet Home

Heh, I am such a Redneck.

I bailed out of my parents place shortly after they got home.
I already had one cat in the truck and was loading up the other one as they pulled in.
I gave mom a kiss and a hug and gave my dad a hug and was bailing out, it was rather hot out and I didn't want the cats to cook.
Pops told me to hold up, he had something for me and the next thing I know, he is digging around the back of the motor home and starts hauling out half gallons of whiskey, four of 'em!

Damn straight I will wait a minute!

So I threw them in the back and off I went, in the Beast.

I had had a couple of beers about an hour before they got there while I was packing shit in the truck and I was fine to drive but you might be a might alarmed to know that people like me exist when you least expect it.

I had two gallons of booze, a half rack of beer and two rifles in the gun rack,yes I have a gun rack in my truck, why do you ask?

I had two more rifles in the back, along with my pistol.
The truck is louder than hell, the power steering quit working, the front brakes pull to the right pretty good, the cab was full of crap and the bed was full of crap and I have one turn signal that really likes to stay on when I ain't looking and brake lights that work once in a while.

I do have insurance and the tags are good!

All this and bombing down the road at sixty miles an hour.
Whoo Hoo!
Get the hell out of the way kids!

Did I mention that I only have one cat carrier?

That means I also had one very unhappy cat traveling around randomly under the seat, on the dash everywhere except under the pedals, I kept grabbing it and throwing it on the passenger side.

I made it just fine and am laying here in the Weasel Den with one cat in, one cat out, a cold beer and a bottle of whiskey within reach.
I get to try out the shower here shortly, I just got done planting my onion sets.

The Beast is parked until I can get around to fixing some of that shit, brake lights are kind of a must anymore, dammit.
I know what is wrong, the turn signal switch is wore out, they want fifty bucks fer one of those damn things now!

Never a dull moment!

And you worry that I have no fun in my life, shame on you.


  1. I'll be watchin for the beast and give you the right of way for damn sure man.

  2. "And you worry that I have no fun in my life" LOL@YOU KNUCKS! Reading your shit IS the fun!

  3. You got two gallons of whiskey and half a rack of beer.
    The streets should be avoided for the near-term.

    You need to marinate the Weasel Den, get it used to your scents and lack of sense so it will serve you well.

    Don't be hating on the Beast either or the list of $50 parts will stack up like wide-bodies over LAX. But you knew that.

    First rule of redneck beaters; don't fix `em unless they quit movin'.

    Good thing you got Cats around to keep your perspective from slippin' off the edge.

    Welcome Home Sir. Shall I draw you a bath?

  4. Ha ha! That was a damn good read Busted! I had a truck that pretty closely resembled yours, I named it "The Cockroach".... I loved that truck. New trucks have no soul....

  5. You ain't no redneck if'n ya didn't shooterate no road signs on the way back.


  6. I don't know ya Busted, but I shore like yer writin'! Did you have the 'cat scratch blues' after your trip?

  7. Yup, I hate to admit it but I have some pretty god peel outs on the inside of one arm, from the old cat with no front claws.
    She is kinda serious when she is trying to tell ya she don't like being stuffed into a cat carrier!

  8. Anonymous1:17 PM

    Your post moved me to go and down a shot of scotch, and I said out loud to the cats, "Here's to you, Busted! For reminding me that there's still fun to be had in this life!"

  9. Suzanne, that is too cute. Hadn't heard that one for quite a spell! I believe she is sweet on ya Busted!

  10. I too have two cats and one crate(actually had, Simba died a month ago). What I did was place Simba inside an empty pillowcase, tie a knot on the open side and carry him like a sack. Kojiro always got the crate 'cause he gets motion sick in the car and leaks out of every orifice. So Simba went on my lap, while Koji retched on the backseat.
    When we got to the vet, one cat was happily purring inside a sack and the other was covered in piss/puke/caca.