Drill Baby Drill

OB...dude...Sir...posts like that are why I love you, man. You know how we always say we pretty much think alike but come at things from different angles?

Theory test:

I'm with the Drill Baby Drill crowd but not for the reasons anyone might think. If you ask me one of the best damn things we can do for ourselves and this planet is to use it all up. ASAP. Get rid of every last drop of that nasty shit. After it's gone we'll stop spilling it, stop polluting the air with it and stop fucking fighting over it.

We need desperately to get off our oil addiction and get serious about alternative energy sources but we're too fucking stupid and too fucking lazy. We'll keep on with the same old bullshit until it's gone because that's the easiest thing to do. We're more than a little stupid that way.

It'll be gone someday and thank gods I don't believe in that it'll take a few hundred million years for more to be formed. To paraphrase Douglas Adams, "So long and thanks for killing all the fish".

Good riddance.

But oil isn't the problem...we are. Just like guns don't kill anything on their own and pencils don't misspell words on their own. They're all inanimate objects that require our intervention, our misuse, our neglect, our greed and our stupidity to make them dangerous. Someday in the future people will look back at our time in history and be dumbfounded that we actually relied upon such a disgustingly foul source of energy.

It will be a very brief period in history...we started using oil in earnest what, about the late 1800s with the invention of the internal combustion engine? Peak oil is predicted to hit inside the next 50 years or so and with the way China and India are motoring up it ain't gonna fucking last too much longer than that. In my lifetime we'll be sucking out every last drop like a fat kid with a straw at the bottom of a Big Gulp from 7/11. So we'll have had about 200, maybe 250 tops, years of insatiable oil orgy? Meh...drop in the bucket over the course of even human history, which itself is nothing in the life of the planet. The real question is whether or not we'll be able to withstand the withdrawals.

It promises to be nasty. We get pissed off when gas costs 4 bucks a gallon. How pissed off do you think we'll be when it costs 100 or more? When the government is hoarding it all for the military? When only the super-fucking-rich can afford to fill 'er up? You want to talk about a revolution over health care or immigration or national ID cards...you can't even IMAGINE the turmoil that will come when the oil wells run dry and we haven't made arrangements to make it irrelevant.

Since we ain't smart enough to do that then I say it's a lot like going to the dentist. Have a seat, get a grip on the arms of the chair and say "drill away, Doc...let's fucking get it over with."

spongebobcrackwhore

Lubed Up And Ready For The Drilling

Ayep, that would be Louisi-anna.
That humongous fucking oil spill is coming ashore for some fuckin'.

It's gonna fuck up everything in sight like a whole platoon of drunken sailors on shore leave.
Fifteen hundred miles of shoreline is going to have a trail of smegma that is going to make Alaska jealous and long for the good old days after the Exxon Valdez.

210 THOUSAND gallons a day, from a mile under the ocean has already created an oil slick a HUNDRED and TWENTY miles wide, with no end in sight.

Bonus, Halliburton is now under scrutiny for the cement work that is supposed to prevent blow outs.
Yes, our old friends are still at it, fucking up around the globe.

The oil has already hit in Louisiana and is going to wind up all around the gulf eventually.
The plan to burn it off caused me to laugh until I spit beer out of my nose.
Yeah, right, light that fucker off and you would be able to see it from the moon with the naked eye.

Get a load of this, I want you all to remember these words,

BP'S Chief Executive Tony Hayward said the company would clean up the oil spill and compensate those affected.

Just how much has Exxon paid out after it's little fiasco?
What was that,20 fucking years ago?

No, this is a huge fucking catastrophe that is not just going to go away.
The fishing industry is gonna be all fucking done down there for a very long fucking time.

Marshes, wetlands, beaches, all sea life is going to die.

When the President says "it is a national concern", you can bet your ass it is fucking nasty bad.

This thing is going to fuck. us. up..

Funny how that Drill Baby Drill crowd just went silent.
Maybe they all went to Arizona looking for Wet backs.

Assholes.

Imagine this, remember a while back what a huge hard on this bunch had to drill in the National refuge in wayyy up northern Mooselini territory?
Just imagine what it would be like up there right now if this had happened there.

People have short memories.

There is a reason that there is a moratorium on off shore drilling around the continental United States.
This one is going to make that look like a day at the beach.

Update;

Bonus round, another one tipped over.

WTF, It's Thursday Already?

My, how time flies.

Have a bit of this, what a great album.

Damn, Just Got My Ass Chewed

As usual, it's my mistake.

I recently went to my Grand daughter's birthday and asked for a couple of pictures, I got them promptly and said I would Blog about it. I didn't and it is my bad.
I got called on it and a few other things besides.
Yeah, not all of them are valid complaints but I did say I was going to Blog about it so here ya go,Grandma.



Yeah, the little darlin' is Five and into Barbie dolls.

I gave her a gift card.
If she is five, she knows how to pick out what the heck she wants and I guess you could call it her first credit card. I suck at buying presents until they are twenty one.
Don't let this fool ya, she is quite the little handful,




By no means is this going to get me off the shit list but at least I held up my end of the bargain.
I love her and my oldest little girl who is her Mommy and both my other kids tremendously. I have some beautiful kids. Lucky me, they call me dad.

Yippee Kayay Grandma,

She is a cute little shit.

BoobQuake, A Follow Up To Sluts Cause Earthquakes

Let me just say that I am in front of this idea, literally.
After the big flap where some tight assed idiot claimed that immodest women were to blame for excessive tectonic plate activity, my buddy Sponge Bob Crack Whore busted out a tongue in cheek post that got linked to by six other websites, not the least being Crooks and Liars,the subject in general got wide attention for good reason. Some crazy fucks over there, for sure.

Anyways, this lady of the "Double D",Jen McCreight , came up with the idea for the ladies to let 'em hang out, covered of course, and have a little gathering to test this guy's theory.
Even my Girl friend heard about it and decided to go into town with little left to the imagination and about caused a fucking riot.
Kudos to the ladies. I am all for scantily clad little vixens for science.
Actually, I don't give a damn why, I just like 'em.

Nobody Expects The Oklahoma Inquisition!

Welcome back to the dark ages.

If you are a woman who lives in Oklahoma and decides to have an abortion...which is a legal procedure...you may soon be REQUIRED to undergo an invasive vaginal ultrasound before it can be performed. Oh, and you'll also have to answer a metric assload of questions about your race and relationships and any other damned thing that is none of their fucking business but they are hoping might embarrass you out of it.

It seems the fine, upstanding, fundamentalist religious nutbags in Oklahoma have decided that since they can't change the law they'll just go ahead and make it such a degrading experience that you just might change your mind.

Holy fucking shit...that sounds so much to me like the sexual humiliation used against women suspected of being witches in the middle ages that it boggles my mind.

I just...I have no words for how fucking stupid this is. Did somebody finally invent a time machine and transport us all back about 500 years?

If the Governor of Oklahoma signs this into law then what's next? Using Malleus Maleficarum as a textbook in schools?

spongebobcrackwhore

Chicago Reps Want To Call In The Guard For Enhanced Presence.

To back up the fucking Chicago police in responce to a large uptick in violence in the city.

Chicago Tribune)

Two state representatives called on Gov. Pat Quinn Sunday to deploy the Illinois National Guard to safeguard Chicago's streets.

Chicago Democrats John Fritchey and LaShawn Ford said they want Quinn, Mayor Richard Daley and Chicago Police Supt. Jody Weis to allow guardsmen to patrol streets and help quell violence. Weis said he did not support the idea because the military and police operate under different rules.

snip

No shit, Sherlock.

So far this year, 113 people have been killed across Chicago, the same number of U.S. troops killed in Iraq and Afghanistan combined in the same period, Fritchey said.

"As we speak, National Guard members are working side-by-side with our troops to fight a war halfway around the world," Fritchey said. "The unfortunate reality is that we have another war that is just as deadly taking place right in our backyard." While the National Guard has been deployed in other states to prevent violence related to specific events and protests, the Chicago legislators said they are unaware of guardsmen being deployed to assist with general urban unrest.

snip

Posse Comitatus anyone?
Just because your fucking city is broke because of all of the graft and corruption that has been going on for the last fifty fucking years does not give you the excuse to call in the Guard to patrol your cities streets, you ignorant fucks.
That is why we have the Police, who are already armed to the fucking teeth. Give them the money to hire more patrol men, idiots.
This is nothing but an attempt to bypass raising taxes and passing the buck to the state instead of the city of Chicago and at the same damn time, trying to militarize sections of that city and further erode the rights of their citizens.

By the way, these two assholes are Democrats.
Vote these two sonsabitches out of office yesterday.

Weis countered that the only scenario in which the National Guard would be helpful is in the situation of a tornado, earthquake or flood. If the military were brought in to help with city violence, they wouldn't answer to police command -- creating a "major disconnect" in mission and strategy.

Wait for it, wait.

Alluding to the 1970 Kent State University incident where the National Guard was called in and protestors and students were shot, Weis said having guardsmen handle crime could be "disastrous." But he said if the Daley(sic) suggested it, he would consider the option.

"The Daley".
Look, Daley is corrupt as the fucking day is long and everyone knows it, he is his fathers son.

This is a bullshit move and if it ever happens there is damn well going to be a little slice of civil war going to be happening in the windy city.I fucking guarantee it.

Calling for the military to police your town earns you a major FAIL, assholes.

Here is the link.

Crazy Response Unit

From Al Jazeera: Crazy Response Unit

The police unit is known for its daring, and the men are often first on the scene after a Taliban attack.

Wow...that's pretty daring, right there. Being first on the scene AFTER an attack.

This unit, an elite force mentored by the New Zealand special forces, is easy to spot. All its men wear black uniforms. Their police cars are also painted black.

You gotta love that...since New Zealands rugby team is known as the All Blacks because they wear all black uniforms. Bet that's an inside joke among the New Zealanders.

When I visited, I noticed all the black police cars had been repainted. "CTP" has become CRU." I asked one of the officers what the new initials stood for. His English was not good. "Crazy Response Unit," he said. "The what?" I asked. "Craziest Response Unit," he seemed to say this time.

It was only when I asked a third time that I released what he was trying to say. The new unit is called the Crisis Response Unit.

I don't know...I'm thinkin' maybe the entire history of Afghanistan has been one long-running crisis after another? Those people are stuck in one of the geographic crossroads between cultures that just brings trouble their way whether they like it or not.

Bet if you sat down with an Afghan family in neutral circumstances they'd be very hospitable and friendly. Probably go out of their way to make you feel at home...as long as the conversation stayed the fuck away from religion or politics.

People are just people until that shit gets involved.

spongebobcrackwhore

TMI

Yeah, I deleted that last one.
Heat of the moment and all that.

Back to normal soon.

Missed It By THAT Much!

The girlfriend was watching me so I had to fudge a couple of answers. Otherwise, being the over achiever I am, I know damn good and well I coulda got all the way to the bottom. The eighth level of Hell is about right, I just haven't been putting much effort into it lately.
Take the test to find out where yer place in Hell is awaiting

H/T Kittywampus

Even A Blind Mexican Finds The Border Every Once In Awhile

Ciudad Juarez might as well be in Iraq or Afghanistan. But it isn't. It's right across the border from El Paso, Texas. Nearly every fucking day there's a story about shootouts and killings. This isn't some place halfway around the world, this is on our border and the violence is already spilling over.

Our god-damned insane "war on drugs" is directly responsible. It ain't no different from the organized criminal violence that rocked this country when we passed the Volstead Act to enforce the Eighteenth Amendment.

If you don't know what that is then go look it up. And don't get off my lawn before ya mow it.

Prohibition doesn't fucking work, okay? It never has and it never will. Economics 101, people...the law of supply and demand. Attempts to legislate morality do nothing at all to decrease the demand. Haven't we learned that? All prohibition succeeds in doing is giving rise to criminal organizations that can profit from the demand and have no qualms about using violence to deliver the supply.

The Federal Government recently okayed the carrying of concealed weapons in National Parks. Ya know why? Because they're fucking swarming with Mexican drug gangs growing dope and packing is the best way to protect yourself if you go in. In other words, we're too stupid to deal with this so you're on your own.

Personally, I don't see the problem with smoking dope. It's your life and your body so what you do with it should be your business so long as it doesn't affect other people in any adverse way. Yeah, I know what the detractors say...this study and that study and blah, blah, blah. Marijuana is about as much of a "gateway" drug as a ham sandwich is to a bacon addiction. Bullshit. Legalizing marijuana would only decriminalize what huge numbers of people are doing anyway. Free up a few prison cells along the way for cocksuckers like Dick Cheney.

Jesus Christ...how plain can this be? Grow it, package it like cigarettes, tax the shit out of it and you solve two problems. The deficit for one, the government will make a fucking mint. The demand will still be there but by increasing supply you'll drop the price overall. Which will cascade into the second benefit of making it no longer profitable for the cartels. When the 18th Amendment was finally repealed what happened? People didn't suddenly drink any more than they drank less when it was enforced. They drank the same all along, except for a minority who were too scared to disobey a stupid law. Keep the same laws concerning driving under the influence, etc. But seriously...why does anyone fucking care that you wanna get higher than 40 goats and do whatever it is you do in the privacy of your own home?

Listen, we have a third world country on our southern border that is in very serious danger of becoming a failed state along the lines of Somalia or Sudan or Afghanistan or the Frontier Provinces of Pakistan. Beyond our own dumbass drug laws, which deny reality and fuel the fire, we have two major problems when it comes to Mexico. First and foremost is the fact that we stole of lot of our country from them in the first place and you think they don't remember it? Second is a couple of hundred years of ridiculous foreign policy that has maintained the status quo of treating Mexico like Gods blind spot.

We are in very fucking clear and present danger of having an insurgent war exactly like the one we're fighting along the Afghan-Pakistan border right in our own back yard. If it comes to that we won't have anyone to blame but ourselves.

Not that any of it will really make a difference, mind you. The way things are going cigarettes will soon be illegal so the cartels always have that to fall back on.

spongebobcrackwhore

Heading Out

Going out of town, back l8ter.
If ya can't be good, stay sanitary.

You Need To Do This RIGHT NOW!

Ever heard of a website called Spokeo?

They have all sorts of info about you on their website if you use a computer.
Where you live, how many kids, how much you make,etc, etc, all of it available to anyone who wants to know for a measly two ninety five.

My Girl Friend told me about this bunch of fuckers the other day.

I can now point you to a post by Ranger Squirrel that shows you how to get that shit removed. Good man and good on ya for showing me how to delete that shit

Tell yer friends and relatives about this, I was fucking shocked at what I saw.

Fucking bastards.

Here It Comes

Value Added Tax...VAT for short. In other words, a fucking national sales tax on top of state, county and municipal sales taxes.

After Obama adviser Paul Volcker recently raised the prospect of a value-added tax, or VAT, the Senate voted 85-13 last week for a nonbinding "sense of the Senate" resolution that calls such a tax "a massive tax increase that will cripple families on fixed income and only further push back America's economic recovery."

Bend over, America...every time the government says they ain't gonna do something you can pretty much bet your ass that they're gonna do exactly that. It's kinda like the owner or general manager of a sports team who gives the head coach a vote of confidence in the media and then fires him a few weeks later. Kiss of death.

Many European countries impose a VAT, which taxes the value that is added at each stage of production of certain commodities. It could apply, for instance, to raw products delivered to a mill, the mill's production work and so on up the line to the retailer.

This isn't Europe, this is America. The place that got started, in part, over excessive taxation? And don't give me that 'representation' bullshit. That don't fly with me no more. The assholes we elect represent only themselves and have no fucking regard for what the people think, feel or want. Remember Cheney and his infamous response to the fact that the American people overwhelmingly disagreed with the war in Iraq? He said, "So?"

Jesus Fucking Christ...the economy is in the shitter, unemployment is epidemic, people are underwater on their mortgages, most people in this country live paycheck to paycheck and the fucking government has the huge brass balls to even CONSIDER a national sales tax? These cocksucking millionaire bastards sit around all day doing little else but coming up with ways to part us from our money!

How about getting spending under control before you think about raising taxes? Fucking government waste is MONUMENTAL and everybody knows it. I got my happy ass in deep shit one time when I was in the Navy 'cause me and some friends read a story in Stars And Stripes about a ship that had a $9000 couch in the Officers Wardroom. And we just happened to be dry-docked next to it for maintenance. Sweet. We put on dress uniforms, went over, saluted the flag and requested permission to come aboard. The trouble came when the guy in charge asked why we were there and I said, "We're here to see the $9000 couch, Sir...that's gotta be a nice couch!" My Chief made me paint an entire passageway by myself for that one.

And that was in the early 80s. Think about that...$9000 for a couch and it was almost 30 years ago. Think its gotten better or worse since then? Point is: stop fucking WASTING money before you even talk about wanting more!

In related news: I saw SIX cops on my 20 mile drive to work the other day. Off on the side of the road waiting to do a little 'revenue enhancement'. Why don't they just pull ya over and take your fucking wallet at gunpoint?

It's coming, boys and girls. Government has become little more than legalized theft. We might as well be dollar-generating batteries plugged into the machine, like in The Matrix.

spongebobcrackwhore

Acrassicauda

I posted about these guys back in January when I read Jurrasic Pork's post at Brilliant at Breakfast, which I highly recommend you go read immediately after watching these guys kick some serious fucking ass.Quite the story.
These guys rock, hard.

I Hear People Crying

I spent a little time on the way home getting off the damn main highway tonight.

Yes, my cup holder was full .
I dived off at the point where those rich peoples live and started in with a bit of YaHoo.

I am talking million dollar houses and the farther down the road I went, there were abandoned houses that had been there for twenty fucking years, sitting on property worth a hundred fucking thousand dollars.
Old properties from the forties that are sitting there abandoned , down the same road from two million dollar mansions on the same damn road that have work crews slamming out two million dollar houses at the same time, I see dead houses that are right next to those same ones in the middle of being built and are abandoned.

What a fucked up mess.
One really old house has a garage and is plain fucking abandoned.I am thinking 1930's



No, this ain't it but you get the fucking idea.

There are some beautiful old houses on this road and some brand fucking new ones that are dead,the economy killed 'em. Some that have burnt down and ya damn well know there are some pirate fucking Real estate bastards waiting for the forclosure's to come through.
It makes me want to legalize those rocket launchers.

Hell, I just want a piece of dirt my Ex can't find me at. Shut the damn phone off and it's all Yee Haw and hey Beer dude.

If ya haven't quite got what this post is about, it's a two mile stretch of an old highway with a view that goes from two million dollar new houses, to abandoned property, in less than two miles. Have a nice day and look for gravel trucks and blonde bitches in new cars around ya. Sell high and run for yer life. Shit, I saw a place that an ex friend of mine had that has a fucking half foot of moss on the roof I went by, that was his parents and I know damn well he is going to want a half million for, and it has been empty for six fucking years. The farther down the road I got, it was total Suburbia and as I went by, I could almost hear the folks that lived there crying out loud, "How are we going to pay our mortgage, the light bill and WHAT THE HELL ARE WE GOING TO HAVE FOR DINNER?"

The fucking bastards in the wrong end of the economy are still trying to throw a dick into the stupid ones with too much money. Give up, ya fucking morons,they are out to fuck ya. Helpin' 'em, ain't helping you.

Fuck You

I saw a complete fucking asshole today...and no, I wasn't looking in the mirror but thanks for imagining that first.

Totally at random I entered a gas station in a different town and there he was, coming out at the exact same moment as I was going in. A guy who I would be quite happy to never see again for as long as I fucking live.

Used to be a friend of mine, or so I thought...until he accused me of some shit that wasn't true and I fired back with plenty more that was. With evidence to back it.

I sincerely hope that was the last time I'll ever have to endure the sight of him.

Fuck you.

spongebobcrackwhore

Score!

I got my happy ass on Amazon the other day and ordered a bunch of Pogues CDs that I used to own but wore out long ago. I also went in for every Tossers disc I didn't already have and replaced a couple of Flogging Molly discs that my kid swiped from me.

Ha! I once told her she had the only dad in town whose CD collection her friends would like to raid and she said "I know and it SUCKS so I don't admit I get 'em from you."

If you like Irish music (with a punk twist) then get your hands on PURGATORY by The Tossers. Okay, okay...they're diaspora from the South Side of Chicago but they got the Irish blood in 'em and they do it just as good as the natives. They're like a more melodic Dropkick Murphys. PURGATORY fucking rocks!

And if you don't like Irish music then bite me 'cause I do. Heh...I'm still sore from the mosh pit last time me and OB saw Flogging Molly and I can't wait until they come back around.

spongebobcrackwhore

Apparently Sluts Cause Earthquakes

Okay, I've always known that religion causes people to believe stupid shit but this guy takes the cake. Ignorant fucking bastard.

"Many women who dress inappropriately ... cause youths to go astray, taint their chastity and incite extramarital sex in society, which increases earthquakes," Ayatollah Kazem Sedighi told worshippers at overnight prayers in Tehran.

Silly me...I thought earthquakes were caused by the movement of tectonic plates and the sudden release of energy from pressure and stress built up along fault lines. Turns out they're caused by Iranian sluts in tight coats and flimsy headscarves and layers of skilfully applied makeup. Who knew? I stand corrected.

"Calamities are the result of people's deeds," he was quoted as saying by reformist Aftab-e Yazd newspaper. "We have no way but conform to Islam to ward off dangers."

Well there ya go. It's just that easy. Why didn't somebody tell me before? I'm off to the dollar store for a checkered table cloth and a couple o' bungee cords to wrap around my head. No, wait...Islam doesn't allow alcohol so fuck that. How 'bout we compromise and I declare Jihad on a six pack of beer?

From Wikipedia:
Iran is one of the most seismically active countries in the world, being crossed by several major fault lines[1] that cover at least 90% of the country.[2] As a result, earthquakes in Iran occur often and are destructive.

The worst in recent times hit the southern city of Bam in December 2003, killing 31,000 people - about a quarter of the population - and destroying its ancient mud-built citadel.

Mud-built? In one of the most seismically active places on earth? That makes sense in a bizarre kind of way. After every earthquake you have plenty of material to re-build so it can happen all over again. You're gonna need it because according to that map there are a lot of sluts...I mean fault lines, yeah that's it, fault lines...in Iran.

spongebobcrackwhore

A Girl After My Own Heart

And you think I'm fucking crazy, you never met Jewelz.

Talking to one of my ex girl friends today, she got drunk and went to Taco Smell the other night and expressly told the dumb assed little bitch at the drive through to make sure she got every thing. Napkins, sauce, straws for the drinks, pretty much what ever you should get from a fucking Taco Smell at the drive through, but NO.
Didn't get the fucking straws.

Gotta love her, the crazy fucking bitch hangs a Louie and drives right back through the driveway the wrong damn way, uses the electric window switch with her girl friend sitting there looking at the dumbass and starts yelling at her for not putting any straws in the bag.
The passenger in this micro drama asks what is going to happen if someone comes around the drive through and she say's they can fucking back up.

Ya gotta love a chick like that.
I gave her a kiss and told her she was a good girl.

Hey, they mightta called the cops, if it was me they woulda but sometimes ya gotta make a fucking point.

Fuck that " We want to know how our service is, call us," bullshit.

Hey, stupid fuck, I just told ya what I want, and ya fucked it up anyway.

The dumbing down of America is complete because this is not an isolated incident but ya gotta love the ex going against the grain to make her point.

She is the female version of me and said so herself.
Therefore, I nominate her to Ornery Bastard, with oak leaf clusters.