Verizon Can Suck My Ass

Ohhhh, this has been coming for a while.

Wait for it.

I originally got a Verizon air card a couple of years ago when I still had a laptop. I'll be the first to admit I thought it was way cool that I could go any where there was a cell phone signal and get on line. I still think that is cool.

Unfortunately, my lap top took a major shit.

Then I hooked up an old PC and plugged it in and away I went.
Originally, it was like $59 bucks a month, for two years. It started creeping up to, I dunno, $62 a month.
Last year at this time, I was lying flat on my back, so sick I thought I was literally going to die. It took over two months to get over what ever the fuck it was I came down with.
While I was laying here, I entertained my self on the internet.

All of a sudden, I couldn't get connected.
So I fucked around and I fucked around, trying to figure out what the fuck was wrong.

I finally called the sonsabitches and went through a big hassle of diagnosing the fact that my air card had died.
The little thingy you plug into yer USB port.
By now I am sick AND pissed off.
I drug my sick ass out of bed and went the two blocks down the street to where I bought the motherfucker, to be told it was out of warranty and they don't sell that shit anymore. Now I AM pissed.
I get directions to the nearest Verizon store and get in my truck and drive fifteen miles away, the whole time my head is spinning and I think I am going to pass out.

I get there and these young little gen X'ers are all over me. I tell them my problem, they tell me the fucker is out of warranty, I explain I already know that.
I tell them I am sick and possibly contagious and the game plan changes immediately.

A new air card is $80. Fine, get one now. Soon enough, I am handing over my debit card and signing a receipt.

Off I go and yadda fucking yadda, I finally get set back up.

What the dirty cocksuckers didn't bother to tell me, was that they renewed my fucking contract for another two years.
I found this out after I started having problems again last summer and had to call the fuckers again. I wanted to get rid of the bastards then but Oh, Hell no, it was going to cost me another $120.

So I said fuck it and just kept paying them. Next thing I know, my bill has gone up to $72 fucking dollars a month on a $59.99 a month plan!
I bitch but I keep paying.

I am on the internet all the time when I ain't working or at the club having a few.

Then I lost my job.

This is where it gets interesting.

A month later, I get the $72 bill for the internet.
I'm thinking I can't afford that shit on unenjoyment so's I call them up and tell them I want the cheaper plan. The lady tries to talk me out of it, citing I used blah blah blah, so many bites or some fucking thing. I said I can't afford that shit anymore, so she say's OK.
Fine. This is after my Girl friend bailed my ass out with these pricks to the tune of damn near a hundred and fifty bucks in September.

Now that I am not working, I spend WAY too much time surfing the net apparently.

My bill, for ONE MONTH , came to $268!!

That is no typo, TWO HUNDRED and SIXTY EIGHT MOTHER FUCKING DOLLARS!!

For one month of internet service.

Gee, ya think maybe I thought there was some kind of mistake?
Oh, HELL NO!
You bet yer ass I called 'em and bitched. The $39.99 service only covers so many blah blah blah bites or some shit and they start adding up at so much per bite when ya go over.

It seems I went WAY the fuck over.
So I called 'em and I threw a complete fit. I realize it isn't the young lady on the phone that caused my grief and I told her that but God DAMN was I mad!
So I bitched and bitched and bitched some more.
She tried to explain to me how their billing process works and it went clear over my head, I was so pissed.

I handed the phone to my girl friend and she finally figured it out.

Needless to say, I told her to change my plan back immediately.

Seeings how it was still the first week of the month, she said she could do that retroactively and was nice enough to give me a 35% discount on this enormous fucking bill.

Now it is only $195 bucks..
I feel so much better now.

NOT!

Dirty fucking bastards, after the first of the year, I am going to give them their $120 bucks to cancel this fucking contract they extended without telling me and calling those other cocksuckers at ComCast.

I hate those fucking bastards too but I have limited choices in this little podunk town.

At least it won't be Dial Up.

Dirty fucking bastards, all of 'em.