Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Thanks Fer Stopping By

Well shit,
I left the last post up hoping that I could get some real live Comfort food recipes and I would sincerely like to thank those who did.
Yer awesome.
I have a crock pot full of Black Beans and Ham Hocks going right now and Hell Yes, there is damn near a whole onion two table spoons of minced garlic, and several spices going on in there.
Reminder to self, throw some fucking Cumin in there later.
I been soaking those magnificent beans since yesterday.

No changes on the political front, whatever Obama is doing is not going to change a fucking thing fer little peoples like you and me, Cheney and Bush should be on trial and I need to go water my fucking garden.

Just fer shits and grins, I think I am going to go see my Doctor, I has a little cyst on my neck that I found about a month ago and I need to be lectured about smoking, again.
The fucking thing is about the size of a Bee Bee, but it is underneath all the layers of skin, so I can't just stick a fucking upholstery needle in it and pop it like a zit.
Trust me, I already tried.

A hunnert and eighty five bucks to walk in the door and two days for them to find my file, because I don't go see the fucking guy unless I can't stand it anymore, what ever it is.
The poor fucking guy is as busy as a motherfucker all day, every day, dealing with little old ladies bitching about everything under the sun, when a real good dicking would make most of 'em happy campers.

Before anyone gets their panties in a twist, I suggest you try and visit yer local, good looking doctor and observe this phenomenom yerself.
I am very lucky, this guy quit taking new patients over fifteen years ago and this is one positive from my marriage to the nice lady I have to call my ex wife.

OK, some of these old ladies have a legitimate reason but I can't fucking stand listening to them whine in the waiting room.
The little kids coughing until they are about to puke makes me go outside and have a smoke.
Doctors waiting rooms are a damn good place to get sick.
You wonder why I can't wait to go sit in a closet for half an hour waiting for the guy to whisk in with a whole days worth of sick shit for me to take home?

For the life of me, I don't know why the guy is still alive.

Must be a tough bastard.

Meh, no one lives forever and who the fuck would want to?

Have a nice fucking day.


  1. Think about some molassas, some chili serrano's and some tomato paste in them beans . . . the cumin is good, if yer gonna go mexican then coriander or cilantro is good, too, along with some oregano.

    I LOVE using ham hocks with beans . . . no matter if it's Italian white beans, black beans cajun style (use cajun seasonings) or just southern style soup beans.

    And if ya don't have an onion or two (yellow onion) in the beans, yer missing it . . .

    Good luck with the cyst thang . . . get in there and get 'er done. We ain't thru with ya you know . . .*G*

  2. i make mine with pintos instead of black beans. good ole pintos and hamhocks alongside some some fried potatoes and cornbread with a dollop of honey in the mix.

  3. A few days ago, I made a big pot of what we always called 'red beans' when I was a child. I used pinto beans, beef broth, Bolner's Pinto Bean Seasoning, and a few slices of salt pork. Before eating a bowl full, I added some Evangeline Brand Tabasco Pepper Sauce and a dab of butter. Yum!

  4. Haven't been to the doctor since 1995, when I broke my ankle. I only went in then because by the next day it had swelled up to the size of a grapefruit! Oh yeah, and I couldn't walk on it..... I get my checkups when the bloodmobile shows up at work. Blood pressure 120/80, cholesterol 170, good to go, see ya in six weeks. And they even give me a cookie, t-shirt, juice pouch, and a Whataburger cupon! Woo hoo! Hell of a deal. Fuck shellin' out 200 bucks.....

  5. Anonymous9:11 AM

    Yeah, you definitely are "A Little Person", you ornery bastard! Your language shows what a little mind you have. Sick, sick, sick. its little ones like you with the mouth needing a good lye soap scrub that makes the world a negative place. Think about it. I know, this will only get your dander up and you'll have more of the same filthy wording. Maybe a physchiatrist would benefit. You definitely win the century award for "FILTHIEST MOUTH ON THE PLANET"!

  6. Doing my best, dickwad.

  7. I'd love to know what the hell to do with ham hocks. I bought some to make some hoppin' john, and not only didn't they flavor the stuff, but there was no meat on them to remove and put back into the beans. I'm a good cook, but I can't figure out those ham hocks...and I'm tired of buying a spiral ham every time I want to make soup.

  8. Oh My!!
    Spiral cut Ham is the shit!!!
    Mashed potatoes the first day,the full meal deal, scrambled eggs and ham, ham sandwiches the next day and throw that fucker into a pot of beans!

    I LOVE spiral cut hams!!
    Just when ya think it is all done, toss it over the fence for the neighbors dog to chew on.
    The bastard just might take a liking to ya.

  9. Ham hocks are a long time soup ingredient,
    Boil the shit out of them until all the meat comes off the bone, strain it with a fork to get the funky stuff out and spread it around in a soup or a pot of beans.
    A great flavor enhancer and still fairly cheap.
    Ever heard of Ox Tail soup?
    Kinda the same thing, except way better.

  10. What meat? That's the problem. When I bought 'em, there was no meat. Only that tough skin stuff and gristle.

  11. OH my God I love coming by to see you Busted and your awesome sense of humor and my kinda talk!! I think anonymous must lead a very boring life LOL!! Hey whatta ya do about all the bloat and gas after your bean meal?? My stomach feels like I ate a brick just thinkin about it. But I grew up on beans, ham and cornbread, and still LOVE it!

  12. Anyone who can't stand the use of their language probably would not like the following either, but I can't understand why the fuck not.
    From comments at #27 The Dangerman
    I’m not bilingual, but I can use one of the most versatile words in the English Language; that word, of course, is “fuck”. It can be an action verb (John really gives a fuck), a passive verb (Mary doesn’t really give a fuck), an adverb (Mary is fucking interested in John), or as a noun (Mary is a terrific fuck). It can also be used as an adjective (Mary is fucking beautiful) or an interjection (Fuck! I’m late for my date with Mary.)

    And a response from Laura W #55

    @The Dangerman: I share your reverence for my personal favorite potty mouth word. The applications and uses are many, are they not? Such verbal versatility.

    You left out the proper noun application, as in “Jesus Fucking Christ”.
    Whenever I watch Inside The Actors Studio and Lipton asks the celeb their favorite curse word I always imagine me in that seat saying “Jesus Fucking Christ.”
    It’s a proud imaginary moment for me and all who know and love me.

  13. I used the recipe on the bean bag and got some good tasting beans. This was 15-bean soup. Once I didn't have a can of tomatoes, so I used enchilada sauce instead. Yum! Another time, added a few tablespoons of Chinese hot mustard...can't decide which I liked better.
    But I'm going to try some that were mentioned here, they sound great.

  14. Dear Dickwad: Fuck off. Ok, now to teh foods.

    C'mon people . . . beans. They fucking need stuff.

    Ham hocks? BITCHEN!

    Ya put the ham hocks, which have usually been SMOKED when ya bought them, ya put them (roast them at 450F for half hour) into a stock pot.

    Ya put yer soaked beans into the pot, and yer ingredients. And by dawg, you southern folk cook so simple and plain ya might as well be Brits for cryin out loud. Bland, boring, and tasteless.

    Ya season the pot with the smoked and roasted ham hocks with the right seasonings that go with the beans.

    White beans get a milder and sweeter treatment,

    Red and black beans get a heavier treatment.

    White beans get some rosemary, basil, and thyme. Chicken broth or stock instead of water, for god's fucking sake, ya hosers. If ya use water, please use chicken base paste . . . or ham base paste. Ya gotta think Italian and French style for white beans.

    Darker beans, they get more of a hearty treatment with the oregano, cumin, cilantro/coriander mexican or Spanish treatment.

    White wines in the white beans, red wines in the darker beans.

    And if ya forkin COOK THIS SHIT RIGHT, the meat WILL fall off the fuckin ham hocks, and be a delight.

    Now if ya want, just add chopped chunks of any ham in the last hour of simmering.

    But pre soaked beans, in a pot, should have at LEAST 8 forkin hours of simmer and seasonings and such. You taste every hour, and add more.

    The ONE thing you NEVER forkin add is salt.

    That's at the end, and if yer not using sea salt, yer a hoser and a loser. The difference in taste is so huge that GodZilla and Mothra together can't beat it.

    So get yer asses to some sea salts, and use it and learn to deal with it and toss that fucking USELESS Morton Table Salt crap.

    I swear, it's like talkin to children in here at times.

    IT"S FORKIN FOOD PEOPLE! Learn to make it good.



  15. OH, and if yer doin darker beans, tomato paste is essential. Just enuff to taste. And save yer celery, carrot, and onion ends and such to make yer stocks with. Freeze them, and when yer ready, water, the veggies get roasted and then dumped into the water.

    Add garlic, herbs, and what ever. Boil it down, it's stock. If ya have left over bones, they get roasted too, and tossed in and now ya got either Chicken Stock, Beef Stock, or what the fuck ever the bones came from.

    See my Stocks Post from an earlier post in here, that originated from Relaxed Politics, where I do Foodie Fridays . . .

    Now shut up and make something to eat, I'm fuckin hongry. *G*

  16. Did I mention to use chicken stock or beef stock or ham stock or bases instead of plain water?

    In the case of ham hocks, water is kewl.

    But for chicken or meat based beans, ya gotta use stocks or paste base to season the shit.

  17. Dude, you crack my ass up!

    Thanks fer the words of wisdom, ya grumpy old bastard,