I Smell Like A Fruit Salad

The thing about staying at my folks, and being a guy is, I take a shower, I use the soap and I get out, done deal.
Oh No, not tonight.
I got douched with diesel real good today and I went and jumped in the shower and the soap wasn't quite cutting it, what little hair I have left was not giving it up.
Unfortunately for me, I can't see a fucking thing without my glasses on .
So I get in the hot shower and find out the soap ain't quite cutting it and look in front of me and see all these bottles of shit and squeeze tubes and who knows what the hell any of this stuff is, fifteen different offerings, I counted them later because I couldn't believe how many were there.
So, being a guy, I start at the top and start opening these unfamiliar objects and start doing the smell test. Smells like watermellon or apple or strawberry, I should be OK.
If not, put it back.
I don't give a shit if it is conditioner, it has heavy duty grease cutters in it,they just smell better than Brake Clean.
So. I dabble here and there, blind as a fucking bat, but when I get done, I feel...... kinda icky, but better. At least I am clean.

I definitely smell better. My feets were stinking pretty good, toxic sock syndrome kinda thing.
So I get out, dry off, notice how freakin' pretty I smell and grab my glasses.

Uh Oh.
I see I have been swabbing in some kind of Sea Weed shit, skin conditioner and skin scrubber shit.
Hey, my bald head is shining like a new dollar.

I really don't want to know what the other twelve things are supposed to be for.

I will be buying some John Wayne ,hard core, skin stripping soap first thing tomorrow.
80 grit.