Check Back Later

Meh...check back later. I ain't in the mood to piss anybody off today.

Life is relatively good for a change.

I've got the weekend off and spent some all-too-rare time in the shop today. Started making a jewelry box out of a piece of walnut I've had layin' around for awhile. Front, back and sides are cut. Whacked up the front to take out a drawer face (so the grain would match) and glued it back together. Top is glued up and box joint jig dialed in on some scrap wood so I'm good to go for tomorrow.

For those of you keeping score at home: yes, I'm still working on my sisters apothecary cabinet thingey. And you really need to get a life instead of keeping score on my woodworking 'cause I do it when I damn well get around to it.

Right now I've got a belly full of fried catfish and I'm sipping on a glass of JW Blue Label. Fixin' to put some Pogues on the stereo and hit the back deck to take a nap "as the sunset came to meet the evening on the hill".

Don't worry about OB. He'll get home safe from his camping trip. Trail of breadcrumbs, you ask? Nah...trail of empty airline-size whiskey bottles more like.

Bushcraft...Bushmillscraft...whatever.

spongebobcrackwhore

I Got Yer Bail Out Right Here

I'm bailing outta this mother fucker early today and going on fucking vacation for sixteen days.
You can expect a few good drunken rants and then I am going to disappear for a few days.
My buddy Sponge Bob Crack Whore says he has something to piss ya off with while I'm gone and I believe him.
See ya's.

RIP, Mean Old Woman

The fucking cat went MIA  two weeks ago without notice.
One day she was waiting in the driveway when I showed up from work like she had been for over a year, the next day she was gone.
My brother gave her to me after I was so sad my other one went MIA after she jumped out of my truck and was gone for two freakin' months until I got a call telling me she was across the damn street from where she bailed out.
In the mean time, me and Baby had some interesting times.

 Me and the old woman cat had some serious go rounds and I have the scars to prove it, God Damn that little
bitch was mean. She didn't even have her front claws and she was twelve fucking years old when I got her.

Imagine this cat ten years older with three times the amount of hair around her neck, a bad attitude and  razor sharp teeth.
When I first got her, living in the old Weasel Den, she disappeared for three days, I tore the place apart looking for her. She was holed up behind the duct works for the heater in a place I couldn't even see with a flash light.
God, did we go round and round.
Then the games began.
That poor thing got so stressed out, she started shedding her mane to the point I came home one day and thought a fucking squirrel had died under the table, I shit you not, it was the biggest hairball I have ever seen.

It took quite a while for us to get to know each other and I have to admit I thought about killing the mean little fucker more than once.
She was only mean because she was scared.

I had to work at it for quite a while but we finally called a truce at some point and she was a great kitty after that.

The poor thing had some kind of blood type the fucking fleas around here loved.
I kept buying the so called three month flea treatment and it would work for a fucking week. Lying sonsabitches, she just kept getting ate up.
Shit, I am still killing the little fuckers.
Bombs away.

Any way, the ornery little thing has been gone for two weeks now, I have looked all over for her with no luck.
Not even a carcass. I figure she was at least fifteen years old, that is a long time for a cat. For you that have never had an old cat, that is what they do, they take off down the road and find some secluded spot to die on their own terms when they know their time is up.

Damn if I wouldn't like to have that option.
Sweet dreams kitty.
This has been a hard thing to post about, I kinda like little varmints.

Lying media/ government assholes, not so much.

Hurts So Good

Apparently this "gettin' old" shit is going around. I think I got it, too.

Went and played me some indoor football the other day. For the first time in about 5 years. With kids half my age, for the most part. Damn, I'm sore. I literally rolled out of bed onto the floor the next morning. It was the only fucking way I could get up.

I held my own and I think I even surprised some of the little bastards with how well I played. Heh, they forgot that the old gray-bearded guy with braces on both ankles and one knee has been playing since before most of them were born.

I scared the shit out of one kid, I think. I got the ball near the wall with him behind me and I could tell he was gonna try and nab it by going between me and the wall. Oh, no you don't. I put my foot on top of the ball and slammed myself into the wall to block him. Cut that move right the fuck off. Heard some gasps from guys who thought I had slammed him into the wall but then I heard a couple of guys go "nice" when they saw that I didn't foul him and still retained possession as he ran into my back. I scooped the ball around with my left foot, turned and went around him like he was an orange cone on a practice field. Go lay down, son...you just got worked by 35 years of experience.

Two freakin' hours we played. I was getting cramps in my legs by the end. Been sore all fucking week. Hurt like a bastard to sit down and get up for about 3 days. I'm feeling better just in time. Gonna do it again day after tomorrow. And yeah, it'll hurt for days and days afterwards and people will ask me when I'm gonna stop playing. I'll tell 'em the same thing I always tell 'em...when I walk like this before the game.

Meh, so it hurts. Big deal. Being sore all week just reminds you of how much fun ya had. If you don't believe me then ask OB next time he's been home from Nasty Girl's place for a few days. I'm pretty sure he'll vouch for that.

spongebobcrackwhore

p.s. - Okay, so I lied about no more football posts until Brazil 2014. Get over it.

I Am Whupped.

Tired doesn't begin to describe it, fuck, I am getting old.

Apparently I still have something going on if it took me a whole weekend and a day at work to make me fall down.
I would like to take a minute to adress Linda P who was so offended by my use of the perjorative,Split Tail when I was talking about my Girl friend and her sisters.
Yes, I can see where you could be greatly offended by that except you really don't know me when I tell you it was used as a term of affection.
I have know these three ladies for thirty fucking years and we all have a comeraderie and use sometimes crude language. Let me tell every one who reads this, it is a running joke, along with make me a sammich, get me a fucking beer and no, I ain't painting your god damn toe nails.

Get a sense of humor folks, we have.

One other thing I see that you all miss by a mile, this Blog is my alter ego.
I get drunk and go off like a Tasmanian Devil in heat, when in reality, I am one of the sweetest guys you will meet in your entire life.
If you think I am kidding, ask my girl friend, my mother, both of my Grand mothers, my aunts, my nieces and my ex fucking girl friends who still love me.
Hell, even my ex wife tolerates me.

Apparently I haven't made this obvious.
Either way, my alter ego is still part of me, ya sonsabitches, deal with it.

I can be a rotten fucking bastard, but I still have a sweet side. The Girl friend was beside her self when I wanted to cuddle for a bit, apparently there are some real dirty fucking bastards out there and I just happen to be the first nice fucking guy in her life, I am the very first guy to give her roses on Valentines day and make her breakfast in bed..She has been seriously deprived in my book.
I dunno, maybe I ain't Superman but I am putting out the effort.
She is a good woman and I am one lucky bastard she likes me.
We are both getting older and have figured out how to let the little shit go.No fighting, we have agreed on that, it's a biggy with me. We can discuss things but fighting is out.
She is still very beautiful and smokin' hot, all I can do at this point is to hope I don't hurt myself trying to keep her happy. I like her to be happy.
Smooch baby, I know you are going to read this later.
She loves me, ain't no doubt about that.
So, don't take my obvious mysogyny at face value, I am teasing you in good faith ladies, except the ones I ain't and that should be obvious.
It don't say ornery bastard up top fer no reason.
Thanks fer stopping by.

I'm Surrounded

Goddamn women folk around here are all right wingers, I could be busy handing out beatings for quite a while.The Girl Friend and her two fucking sisters, I still love the little split tails anyway..

In one voice they all proclaimed their love of that idiot dirt bag Glen Beck.
Then it got better and they proclaimeed Rush Limbaugh to be some kind of fucking saint. They claim to be Tea Baggers, Nasty Girl got Tea bagged  in the traditional sense earlier and loved it. Take that Sarah Palin lovers.

Like I said, I could be busy fer a while, there is three of the misguided little souls, that's  a lot of beatings for one old man. I know I can take Nasty Girl, I had her pinnned down earlier for an extended period of time, it's the other two I am wondering about.
Not to worry, I can be a mean sonofabitch when I have to be.
Still, I tend to keep my back to a wall just in case.

It is hotter than a half fucked fox in a firestorm around here, 101 degrees outside.
Christ.I had her take me to me to the likker store and I about had heat stroke getting out of the damn car.
The front of the store faced the sun and it had to be one twenty right there before I could get inside.  Then we stopped at another store and I made the mistake of walking behind the car to get in.
Fuck me. The fan was going full blast and I literally walked into a jet stream.
God damn, I bet it was throwing out 220.
Nasty Girl is currently teasing my ass by bouncing up and down on a little trampoline, I have already had to fix six fucking typo's, I think I have whiplash.
See ya, thanks fer stopping by,.

TGIF

Fuck, what a long week.
One more day at work and then I am hopefully off to see nasty Girl .
One more week from today and I am off for sixteen days.
Vacation.
I spent my vacation time last year laying in bed so sick I thought I was going to die at one point.

I am going to take off and go camping and do some fishing.
I haven't gone camping in years and miss it badly.
We shall see just how much bushcraft I can still remember.
I have some work to do around here first, a couple of vehicles need some serious attention and I need to fix the leak in the roof of the Weasel Den. A couple of days of that and then I am getting the fuck outta Dodge.

Y'all have a nice weekend and thanks fer stopping by.

Let Me Introduce You To My Other Treasonous Set Of Friends.

 Actually, I can't call them friends, they have no idea I even exist and will be shocked to see where you came from if you actually click on the links below.
Warning, this is a long post and if you have a problem reading any thing that takes over ten minutes, go see your doctor.
I have deleted several instances of excessive vulgarity which is not my usual style in case anyone wants to link to this post.

The reason I call them treasonous friends is because we share the common belief that our government cares less than a whit about us as individuals and we have to take care of our selves and loved ones and because.. we recognize that politics as usual is a waste of time. feed me Seymore doesn't work.
Do you know that the Federal government of this country is , by law, passed by our own Congress, to have enough food stored to feed every man, woman and child in this country for two years?
That's a fact.
My bad, they changed the rules while I wasn't lookng.
Here is the actual wording from lhttp://www.archives.gov/federal-register/codification/executive-order/12656.html in the mean time.

Part 3--Department of Agriculture.

Sec. 301. Lead Responsibilities. In addition to the applicable responsibilities covered in Parts 1 and 2, the Secretary of Agriculture shall:

(1) Develop plans to provide for the continuation of agricultural production, food processing, storage, and distribution through the wholesale level in national security emergencies, and to provide for the domestic distribution of seed, feed, fertilizer, and farm equipment to agricultural producers;

(2) Develop plans to provide food and agricultural products to meet international responsibilities in national security emergencies;

Think about that for a minute. It's a fifty fifty chance you or someone in a foreign country are going to get food in a National emergency.

(3) Develop plans and procedures for administration and use of Commodity Credit Corporation inventories of food and fiber resources in national security emergencies;

(4) Develop plans for the use of resources under the jurisdiction of the Secretary of Agriculture and, in cooperation with the Secretaries of Commerce, Defense, and the Interior, the Board of Directors of the Tennessee Valley Authority, and the heads of other government entities, plan for the national security emergency management, production, and processing of forest products;

(5) Develop, in coordination with the Secretary of Defense, plans and programs for water to be used in agricultural production and food processing in national security emergencies;

(6) In cooperation with Federal, State, and local agencies, develop plans for a national program relating to the prevention and control of fires in rural areas of the United States caused by the effects of enemy attack or other national security emergencies;

(7) Develop plans to help provide the Nation's farmers with production resources, including national security emergency financing capabilities;

(8) Develop plans, in consonance with those of the Department of Health and Human Services, the Department of the Interior, and the Environmental Protection Agency, for national security emergency agricultural health services and forestry, including:

(a) Diagnosis and control or eradication of diseases, pests, or hazardous agents (biological, chemical, or radiological) against animals, crops, timber, or products thereof; Again with the dispersants and tar balls the size of an SUV and their effects on marine life and near by farms and agriculture, not to mention the complete wiping out of the coastal sea business and commercial fisherman ... God forbid you have a tail light out though.

(b) Protection, treatment, and handling of livestock and poultry, or products thereof, that have been exposed to or affected by hazardous agents;

(c) Use and handling of crops, agricultural commodities, timber, and agricultural lands that have been exposed to or affected by hazardous agents; and

(d) Assuring the safety and wholesomeness, and minimizing losses from hazards, of animals and animal products and agricultural commodities and products subject to continuous inspection by the Department of Agriculture or owned by the Commodity Credit Corporation or by the Department of Agriculture;  Dispersants anyone?

(9) In consultation with the Secretary of State and the Director of the Federal Emergency Management Agency, represent the United States in agriculture-related international civil emergency preparedness planning and related activities.

 

Oil soaked beaches, marshes and fragile marine ecosystems?

Sec. 302. Support Responsibility. The Secretary of Agriculture shall assist the Secretary of Defense in formulating and carrying out plans for stockpiling strategic and critical agricultural materials.

My bold.

They have just about enough to feed about half of us a half a loaf of bread for a month, if they can find it, it ain't moldy and they can distribute it to where it needs to go before it does get moldy and they can find a truck and a driver who will do it cheap. Never fear, the wars go on and Goldman Sachs can give BILLIONS away for bonuses.

I made a passing reference to the Prepper sites I frequent the other day and now you get to meet them..
Let me preface this with the fact that I am pretty much a left leaning Liberal scumbag in some of these peoples eyes but I have just enough of a Libertarian streak that we should all get along pretty damned well. Also, this is less than one percent of these types of sites that I read on a regular basis.
Besides, trying to make sure you and your family has enough to eat and can see at night ain't a bad thing.
I am going to start beating up on Nasty Girl real serious like to get her shit together a little more, even if my shit is scattered all over the place.
I still have enough to feed myself for at least two months, probably more and if the fucking lights go out, I know I will be good for a while in that aspect and I will tell you this, I am one innovative individual.
When I was sixteen, I made an alchohol stove out of a tuna fish can and some strips of cardboard wrapped around inside to heat up a can of chili.

That was thirty four years ago, think I haven't learned a few things since then?
I actually cut the frame of an old Ford LTD in half with an axe one time so I could haul it for scrap to get the money to eat.
Try that sometime.

My Grandparents were raised during the Great Depression and I lived with them off and on for many years, exclusively after I took off from home at fifteen, after a brief stint with my real mother and her crazy drunken husband, which is where I did the alchohol burner trick.
I was in the Cub Scouts, was a Webelos and did some serious assed hiking for two weeks that covered fifty miles around some seriously huge and frozen volcanoes when I was twelve.
I have been hungry, near starvation and I don't want to ever go there again.
 I have stayed under bridges, lived in my car, lived in a van and have frozen my ass off under the stars.
I don't often harp on this subject here but we are currently in The Greater Depression, even if no one wants to say it out loud, the current economic plight of every day Americans  is going down hill and gaining momentum.

It is past time that you should be putting some resources away and I am going to give you some places to get the information that you will need that could prove to be critical and be desperate to have in the future
Pay serious attention and book mark these links. Then, continue to monitor them because the Shit has already Hit The Fan  and you can't eat American Idol.

First off,

100 things that disappear in a prolonged emergency.
Copy this and get busy.
Long time preppers are already half way through this list or more, I personally have a long ways to go but I still work at it.
Now comes the links that you should watch, granted they are bloggers and it isn't every day they post about specifics but generally do a good job, the thing to remember is not to crap your pants and go into debt getting ready, that is counter intuiitive, read their back content and archives.

Survival Blog, this is the Grand Daddy of them all. One warning, the recommendations espoused will be way the heck beyond the average Americans  ability to afford, there is great info if you pick through it though.
Especially the archives. start there.

Next up, a great guy who actually lives the life every day and has a wealth of info on how to live off grid and thrive, M.D. Creekmore @ The Survivalist Blog.
Hey, when you are being foreclosed on like I was, you can get pretty damn appreciative of a damn travel trailer for a roof over your head and that guy does it well. Serious info for hard core off grid living and a damn nice guy in my opinion, I wish we were neighbors and I had a giant still.
Next up, Wretha. Another off grid, no dang electricity, out in the middle of no where, kicking ass and taking names kinda gal.

OK, this next one reminds me of my dear departed Grandmother sometimes so much that I just want to give her a giant bear hug and a squeeze it kills me.
Jackie Clay.
I absolutely adore this woman, I swear, she is the Martha Stewart for us regular folks.Go read every word this lady has ever written and then buy her cookbook. I can't recommend her highly enough.
Oh my, what a wonderful lady. A virtual walking encyclopedia for canning advice. She has a blog associated with Back Woods Home magazine, who is my next recommendation.
Moving along, this has already taken an hour, we have a a few other places I suggest you peruse, this ain't no cake walk and knowledge is power.

I am going to link to a couple of other folks who are trying to get by with hard work and limited resources.
Sometimes it's not all sugar plums and unicorn farts, there is serious work and unexpected hardships involved in just trying to live and raise kids and varmints.
One of my favorites is Self Sustained Living.
MMPaints is having a hard time getting by right now but exhibits some of the best qualities of what made this country great.
My hat is off to you honey.

Best of luck to you.

Here is one that is geographically close to me as the crow flies but would take over two hours to drive to because of this huge river between us and how far I would have to drive to get to the nearest bridge.
This lady is a farmer, a real one, who grows her own beef and takes care of her soil, does the hay bailing thing and cooks on a wood stove. Throw Back At Trapper Creek.Mind you, she does this on the side of a volcano in the North West corner of Oregon.
The weather up here is a couple of months behind Texas, take my word on that...

I told you this could take a while.
Two other sites you should read regularly are Sharon Astyk's Blog , she even has written a couple of books and teaches classes, in her own house., the other one would be Preparedness Pro.
This lady lays down the law, get yourself ready and here is how to do it,

There are literally hundreds of sites that will give you solid advice how to be a bit prepared for even a small inconvenience such as a temporary electrical failure all the way to zombie hordes beating down your door to eat your brains.
I would hope that anyone who actually reads my ranting has enough brain power to differentiate between the two.

This ain't no joke folks, this country is going belly up and there will be a day when the shelves will be empty.
Just ask anyone who lived in New Orleans  after Katrina and had to move to Oregon. It happened.
There are counties grinding up their tore up roads and turning them back to gravel, that is your clue.

Three unemployed neighbors are mine, I have to reconsider the fact that they know I have toilet paper, let alone Rice A Roni.

Bad Company

It's pretty rare when a band covers a song from long ago well, even rarer when they do it better than the original.
This is one of those really rare cover tunes that I think is better than the original.

Five Finger Death Punch doing Bad Company's Bad Company.
I couldn't tell ya why the fuck I am awake at four in the morning but I am sure as shit going back to asleep. Enjoy.

A Huge Shout Out To My Treasonous Fucking Friends

You know who ya are, maybe the two thousand fucking Government  agencies that need an introduction will now add you to their data base, assholes.
My bestest buds at Alternate Brain are first on the list of Buds I would start a shooting war with, bar none.  Fixer and Gordon have been to Grannies house before and left a little present for that asshole wolf dude and can still git 'er done tomorrow at O dark thirty. I have been seriously amazed they took me under their wings.
FireDog Lake.
I first ran into Fixer and Gordon there in 95. We have been around quite a while.

Way back when, Jane Hamsher had a little Blog all by herself when I ran into it and she had some serious thoughts on what the fuck was going on in our political system way back then. Since then, she has created an empire that raises sixty grand in a week.
 Someday I would like to meet her, she is a force to be reckoned with.
By the way, if you want to point a finger at who was responsible for me starting to run my mouth, just look to that cute little blondie, she was my inspiration.
There are over a hundred Blogs that I read every fucking day when I get the chance but some are a must, Brilliant At Breakfast, Jill is someone I would love to meet.

Fark is my very first site every day, right after checking my Email,.Just an Earth Bound Misfit is soon to be perused also, I just fucking love this lady, she has quite the perspective and a bit of attitude to go with it. Someone else I would like to meet.
Of course my pal One Fly too.


Bildungblog , Lolcats and Dependable Renegade are also must reads too.
Then I hammer another gear and go see some other friends, Demuer and  at this point I am going to piss everybody on my Blogroll off because i can't spend four hours linking to them.
I do want to reckognise two more, one is a personal friend and the other one will be.
Suzanne at Two Ton Green Blog and that like minded crazy mother fucker Mayberry..
Believe me I could go on for hours, If you are on my Blogroll, I have tried to visit you in the last month or two and there are some that aren't and I do anyway. Don;t feel left out


Mock Paper Scissors is a daily amongst others, along with Driftglass and Blue Gal and Crooks and Liars.
I'm such a whore, I get around.
Dammit, I can't leave out DarkBlack, that is one very nice guy with a wicked sense of humor and a legendary skill at photo shop that 99% of you will never understand what I am talking about.

The man is a genius sometimes and it is 99% NSFW, as it should be.

If I left ya out, it isn't because I don't love ya, everyone should go peruse the Blogroll. because we all need to stick together and you are on there for a reason.


This by no means even begins to start with my Prepper sites, shit, that is a whole nuther post with a whole nuther Blog list of favorites that would take another four hours.
You know who you are, I leave comments.

Thanks fer stopping by, I do get around a bit and wanted to say thanks.

Still Working At It

I pretty much let getting prepared go for a while, I had a buddy staying with me and he wasn't working  and both of my immediate neighbors aren't either.So I kinda used up a bunch of my food preps. He finally found a guy that needed his house taken care of for several months while he went commercial fishing in Alaska.
I have been in a financial hole for a while, shit happens and I am clawing my way back, I'm going to be OK for the forseeable future.
I did have one paycheck Friday that was pretty much free and clear after all these months and I took it and had a runaway with it at the local Bi Mart store.
I found an aluminum 32quart water bath canner that was only 7 bucks more than the traditional enameled one. Check. I got five more tomato cages to go over the plants my ex gave me too.
Got a case of beer and twenty pounds of cat food that was on sale at the check out for the same damn price as the ten pounder of the same brand I had.
Got the flea treatment for the fucking varmints while I was at it too.
They had Rice A Roni and those Cheezy Tater things on sale, 10 fer 10 bucks,bought thirty bucks worth of those damn things, the pantry is looking better all ready.
Four cases of canning jars and five extra boxes of lids, some pectin and a few canned goods.
A few other assorted things and walked out $191 and change lighter but I feel a whole lot better for it.
The garden is not going to do much this year, it was just too damned wet clear through June so I am going to wind up buying stuff to can but that's all right, I will.
The one thing I have to get, is one of those big propane burners from Harbor Freight so I can do that shit outside.

A sheet of plywood and the tail gate of my truck, two saw horses and I will be in business.

That reminds me, I need to dig out the dehydrator and put that sumbitch to work too.

Keep yer chin up and yer nose to the grindstone, it is going down hill at thirty two feet per second, per second*.

* The force of gravity.
Bet you didn't know I actually graduated two years of college with national honors and actually remember some of that useless info.Yep, I have an Associates Degree in Applied Science for Automotive Technology, Phi Theta Kappa, Who's Who in Junior College, 1991.

I'm still an Ornery Bastard, just edjumacated a little.

Desperate Old White People

I'm not talking about retirees eating cat food either.
Just look at this picture and see who is running the GOP and understand why I hate these motherfuckers with a passion.

Hopefully I will live long enough to see an extinction even worth watching.

The Million Dollar Mile

Right in front of my fucking house.

For the last two weeks I've endured traffic delays in what most of you might consider the middle of fucking nowhere. I live in the hills...coyotes, hawks and an owl hunt the field behind my place. Deer and racoons are common. Every now and then I'll have a half dozen or so cows in the yard 'cause they escaped from down the road. Whatever. Saves me from mowin'.

They've been patching my road (which didn't really need it, by the way) for the last two weeks. Big-ass machines ripping up the asphalt and flinging it into dumptrucks and bigger-ass machines laying down new pavement and could-give-a-shit workers leaning on shovels all fucking day on my fucking dime.

So I come home today, after totally denying OB's offer of a Jameson (I swear that bastard wants me to join him on the dark side...come to the dark side...we have cookies whiskey ). I get home and the traffic guy with the stop sign is in RIGHT in front of my driveway. I'm three cars back.

Oh, no you don't.

I pull out and go around and the traffic guy goes apeshit. He runs out waving his little stop sign like I just entered Area 51 or some shit like that. I put my turn signal on and point to my place...repeatedly. He's on some kind of traffic-guy-with-a-stop-sign power trip so he don't care. If they gave 'em guns I would have been shot for ignoring the authority of the guy with the sign. Fuck you.

I lean out the window and yell, "I live RIGHT THERE". He finally understands and yay, I get to pull into my own fucking driveway.

Feed the cats, go get the mail, talk to the guy. I apologize. "Dude, I live right here...I'm not waiting to get home when I already am. Sorry about that.". His excuse was he didn't see my turn signal. Yawn.

So asked him what the fuck? Why did they spend two weeks patching the road and then re-pave the whole damned thing? He shrugged. Didn't make sense to him either.

He could care, I reckon...job's a job now-a-days. And that's a pretty sad commentary on the State Of The Nation. I'd like to equate it with building freeways during the Great Depression but it isn't the same. Back then they were trying to put the nation back to work. Now they're just raping it for profit.

spongebobcrackwhore

I Ain't That Stupid

Jesus Christ, some people just don't get it..
Oh My God!!  Nancy Pelosi is coming to the Net Roots National Convention!! Piss my fucking pants and eleventy eleven, Whoo Hoo!
Bonus, Harry Fucking Reid is too!!

Oh My Fucking God, where is my Sharpie..

Kiss my fucking ass.
You two sonsabitches have laid down like a two bit whore after ya had a fucking majority and cried like little bitches that you have  had to pull your skirts up because the Republicans just won't cooperate unless there are corporate tax breaks and God Forbid, Estate taxes need to be repealed, no extention of the Unemployment benefits, Social Security needs to be gutted and God forbid, you have a fucking woman for a Supreme court nomination.

Both of ya need a good kick in the crotch.

I saw where that spineless mother fucker Harry Ried was whining that Obama wasn't tough enough on the Rebublicans. You fucking cunt.

You dick sucking whiny assed loser bitch.

My fucking ass, you rotten sonofabitch.

WAHHHH.!


You couldn't beat yourself out of a wet paper bag.
Fuck, Pelosi has bigger balls than you.

Where the fuck were you the last five years?
Sucking obstructionist Republican cock, that's where.

Oh, we don't have enough votes, the Republicans are going to Fillibuster, yadda fucking yadda.

You pussy mother fucker. Ram your fucking agenda down their fucking throats and if they want to fillibuster, make damn sure they have a few cots and some fucking hot tea.

Now ya have some crazy fucking bitch taking you on and you can't even handle that shit.

Fuck you Harry Reid and suck my fucking dick old man.

If that crazy bitch Angle whips yer ass in the Primary, it will go  a long way to rehabilitate the Electoral process..
Just think, Michelle Bachmann won't be the craziest fucking moron in Congress any more and you and old Bitch McConnell can have a nice honeymoon. After ya just fucked over the millions of folks who were counting on some fucking unenjoyment, gave billions to the cunt fucking bastards in the banking industry and let BP get away with killing three fucking states and a few hundred thousand former tax payers, it's time for you to retire. Take Joe Fucking Lieberman with ya.

I absolutely look forward to you getting your ass handed to you come November and having to deal with that rotten cunt fucking corporate whore, MR. Orange, fake tan, Bohner.

If it comes to that,,. go crawl in a corner and die, you have been a singularly weak assed politician with an extraordinary chance to change the course of history in this country and have failed spectacularly.

How To Cure The Hiccups

If that doesn't scare the shit outta ya, a guy with a mask and a chain saw will make ya laugh out loud.

Click on it to make it even bigger,

I Could Really Give a Fuck Tonight

Seriously.

Beeeer, Beeer, Pleeeeeease?

That is so totally like what the little dude is saying to me.
Must be the dry cat food.

I laughed my ass off when I saw this.



Looks to me like he got some there at the end.

H/T DekoniM @ You tube via Lol Cats.

No Real Post Tonight, Just A Link.

Where was this fucking guy all those years and let me add this, Stupie McFuckwit and Darth Vader are not out of the woods yet, there is no statute of limitations for war crimes.

That little fucker Obama really fucked up when he let those two and the rest of the Bush administration run free.
It ain't over yet.

Meanwhile, for those of us who haven't forgotten, there is this little tid bit from a Federal Judge.

Dirty Dutch Bastards

The Netherlands were disgusting today and I'm glad they lost the World Cup to Spain.

That's what happens when one team is playing football and the other team is playing a combination of hockey and pro wrestling and toddler-temper-tantrum-throwing.

Holland only had one player sent off and it should have been FOUR. Johnny Heitinga had to go for his second yellow after the foul on Iniesta, who would have been through on goal. But Arjen Robben should have gotten a second yellow for kicking the ball away long after the whistle, Mark Van Bommel should have seen a second yellow well before halftime and Nigel de Jong should have seen a straight red for that studs-up boot to Xabi Alsonso's chest!

Dirk Kuyt from The Netherlands says the ref cost them the game but I call complete fucking bullshit on that. If anything the ref kept them IN it with bad calls, not the other way around. He was far too reluctant to send somebody off in a World Cup Final.

From Arjen Robben's constant whining to Mark Van Bommel's outright brutality that was the most cynical display by a national team that I can ever remember witnessing. They were outplayed by Spain and knew they would be so they just came out hacking.

Van Bommel was particularly bad. It looked like he didn't give a shit about anything but trying to injure somebody, with Andres Iniesta and Xavi (Spain's two best players) as his main targets.

Andres Iniesta, universally known as one of the game's laid back gentlemen and all around nice guys, finally got tired of his bullshit and hacked back. It says a lot that Iniesta would do that because he just plays the game and gets on with it. Van Bommel was fucking out of control and shame on the ref for letting him get away with it.

With the exception of the goalkeeper, the entire Dutch team lost any respect I ever had for them today. I never had much for Arjen Robben...when he played for Chelsea my EPL fantasy team was named "Diving Robbens" in his (dis)honor.

Spain's style of play comes from the fact that most of the team play together at FC Barcelona. The great Dutchman Johan Cruyff (who led The Netherlands to back to back World Cup Finals in 1974 and 1978 but lost them both) put that style into place when he played for and later coached Barcelona.

The Netherlands today is a far cry from the beautiful short passing game that Cruyff espoused and Spain have mastered. The Netherlands today are a team of whiners, cheaters and thugs. They were outplayed but more importantly they were outclassed. It is one thing to lose when you can hold your head high after. It is quite another to disgrace yourselves the way they did.

That is sweet fucking justice...to see them undone by the genius of one of their own. And not even just one of their own but the best they've ever produced. Sweet fucking justice, indeed. I love it.

spongebobcrackwhore

p.s. - Yes, I'll give it a rest with the football posts now. You're off the hook until 2014 in Brazil. Wish I was in Spain right now. God damn, what a party that's gonna be...

Why The Hell Am I Awake?

Five fucking thirty, I gotta pee.I stagger in and pee and pee and pee, damn, I must have drank a lot of beer yesterday.
So, now it is seven o'clock and I am still awake, fucking around on the computer.
I have already smoked two cigarettes, drank a beer and had a shot of vodka trying to knock myself back out and if anything, I am more awake now than a half hour ago.
I see a nap in my future.
I need to go snuggle up against Nasty Girl.
Actually that is a great idea, see ya.

Zombie Alert

My question, why do you take zombies to the fucking hospital?

Braiiiins!

Leave it to the locals....

Outta Here

It's been ninety five fucking degrees here in Vancouver the last two days, that's enough to croak us web footed locals.
Shit, a week ago the highs were in the low sixties and it was raining.
Now, it's an oven.
The Weasel Den is even worse, it was 105 when I opened the door to my Easy Bake Oven on wheels.

I'm off to see the GF and will be headed East where it is even hotter than it is here.

The cats have been staying outside and I'll make sure they have plenty of food and fresh water.

See ya's, have a nice weekend.

I like Comments

When you all have a reply to what I have to say, it makes me feel like I actually have something intelligent to say instead of just spewing words into the ether like a Bukkake film.
Know what I mean?

Apparently my comment feature is completely fucked up right now.
After Haloscan went tits up, I tried a couple of different venues and no one was happy.
Sorry.
I even paid money for one system and they pissed me off a week later so I told them to go pound sand in their ass and keep the lunch money.
That pissed off the guy in charge and he Emailed me so I replied to his face and still told him to keep the lunch money.

Now, I am having mystery issues, the Disqus that I had installed disappeared by some miracle and I really don't know what the fuck is directing my comments.
I tried to re install it, took me a fucking hour and a ton of hassle, I'll be fucked if I know if it worked.

I know that I am just like everyone else that absolutely hates having to type in those fucking confirmation words, seriously, they piss me off.
The downside of not having to do that are those intestinal worms called Spammers, they immediately infest this joint and I have to spend a bunch of time deleting their shit when I could be drinking beer.
Six of one, half a dozen of the other.

So, I am going to leave this up to you guy's. If ya want me to get rid of comment moderation, let me know.
If I have to spend a bunch of time deleting those Spammer cunts, I'll do it until I don't feel like it anymore.
Just so ya know, all comments also show up in my Email account and I can delete your ass either way.
It's up to you, I really like the inter action and treasure your comments but I also have to level that with those fucking bastards who leave some kind of Asian Spammer shit all the time.
It's your call, I am going to keep ranting either fucking way because I AM DAMN GOOD AT IT.

Thanks fer stopping by.

The President Of America Has Abdicated

It is pretty fucking obvious who runs this country and it sure as shit isn't an elected official.
Welcome to the Oligarchcic States of America.
When anyone, and I do mean anyone, can be threatened with jail time and a forty thousand dollar fine, for trying to see first hand what exactly is happening on the beaches in The Gulf of Mexico, where a continuing massive ecological disaster continues to unfold, there is something very fucked up.

Any one? Bueller?

Who the fuck is British Petroleum and why do they have control of our police, Coast Guard and the White House?
The Constitution is dead.
They have been gutting the fucker for years but they finally killed what was left of the First amendment.

This is now a rogue nation.
As such, I do not have to recognize any laws, decrees or treaties that are in effect.
When a government breaks the covenant that binds it and it's citizens then all bets are off.

Sorry, you did this, not me.
I guess you are just not that into me anymore.

Well, fuck ya right back.

Like I said, the Constitution is dead, there is a never ending class war going on and the Corporations are your new Master.

I don't know about any one else but I have a fucking problem with that.

The game is on, Motherfuckers.

Been Busy

The Girlfriend has been in town and when she is, I have better things to do than Blog, trust me.
I'll be back at it shortly.

FIFA gets a red card

The officiating at this World Cup has been an absolutely shameful disgrace and it ain't getting better.

FIFA can't be serious...a referee from Uzbekistan in charge of a World Cup semi-final? You have got to be fucking joking! How many high profile matches has this guy ever worked? How could he have worked any games that weren't played in a fucking goat pasture? He's from Uzbekistan, for fuck sake! UZBEKISTAN!!!

The moron signaled the end of the game today between Uruguay and the Netherlands and then let it continue! He blew the whistle and pointed to the center spot with both hands, which is the official signal for the end of the match. Everybody thought it was over, the players, the announcers, the crowd, everybody...except the dumbass referee. Not only that but he called for three minutes of extra time and played almost five.

Okay, now there IS a slight chance that someone from Uzbekistan took part in the invention of the game. Uzbekistan can't be ruled out as the place where Mongol soldiers first kicked around the severed heads of their conquered enemies. Sorry, England...you might have codified the rules and 'invented' the game but the Mongols were using heads for footballs a looong time ago.

That being said, I fail to see how some goat herder getting his whacked off head kicked around to help invent the game translates into another goat herder officiating the match that decides who goes to the fucking World Cup final! How is a guy from Uzbekistan supposed to know that Arjen Robben is one of the biggest divers around? Or that Mark Van Bommel won't go down unless you run over him with a bus?

Jumpin' Jesus on a pogo stick...what's next? Letting guys from the Australian outback be refs for the Stanley Cup in ice hockey? How about letting pygmies from Central Africa call the NBA finals? Fuck, why not? FIFA seems to think it's okay to have refs who can't possibly know jack shit so why don't all sports do it?

Sepp Blatter better hope I never see his sorry ass walkin' down the street. He'll be in for the crunchiest slide tackle you ever saw a central defender come across for.

And I'll be quite happy to take my road rash and my red card.

spongebobcrackwhore

p.s. - Anonymous asked in the comments (the new thingy sucks BTW, OB) how long I been watchin' football. Umm...since my family moved to England at the end of May in 1974. Our house in Leicester hadn't been moved out of yet so we spent 3 weeks in a hotel in London. What happened in June of 1974? The World Cup, baby. I was the oldest of 4 kids and got stuck babysitting while my parental units went "Woohoo...London!"

Four TV channels. England. World Cup. No escape. Games on BBC One, replays on BBC Two, commentary on BBC Three and highlights on ITV. All day, every day.

Remember that guy from Clockwork Orange with the toothpicks holding his eyes open?

Now ya know.

A Public Safety Message From The Ornery Bastard

Stop and think before ya get all likkered up and start lighting fuses.
It's kinda hard to blow yer hand off if one of them has a can of beer in it and the other one has a finger up yer nose.
Just a thought.
Be safe, I'm outta here.

Nice.No Mention Of The Homeland, Hillary, Except We are Giving More Money Away

Jesus.
This shit just pisses me the fuck off.
Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton is in Poland, decrying governments around the world that are curtailing civil liberties and vowing we are going to give away a couple million bucks to some fucking people who are struggling to keep their democracies from shutting down things like free speech and open protests.

I shit you not.

Kinda like us, ya think?
Free speech zones sound familiar?
How about tazers and army dogs along with private security biting you in the ass if you dare try to protest what our government is doing against our better interests?
Want to go see what the fuck is going on at a beach in the Gulf?
Sorry, BP has contracted the local police and they will arrest yer ass for trying, especially if you are with the press.

Hypocritical does not even come close to what she is promoting.
I'll tell ya what Hillary, get yer fat ass back to the states and go down to the beaches in the Gulf and promise two million fucking dollars to those who are trying to promote Democracy by informing the people of this country just what the fuck is happening on our own shores.

I Double Dog Dare ya honey.

Damn, I Missed It!

Sometime earlier, I had my Hundred and Fifty Thousandth hit!

With all my heart, thank you all fer stopping by.

So It Begins

It's been relatively quiet around here, must be because every one is fucking broke. I just heard a boomer go off, the first of over a million to come later.
Twenty miles to the West on the other side of the Big River lies Portland.
The Portland Metropolitan area has over a million fucking idiots in it's borders.
I can see the fireworks from here.
Not to mention the local yokels.
It is very much like a war zone around here every fucking fourth of July.
Everything you can imagine that either makes smoke, light or noise goes off incessantly all fucking night.

The cats are a nervous wreck and I usually just stay home and get drunk.
Last year, I sat in this big tin box and surfed the web, no way am I going out amongst the nut jobs and the cops.

This year, I ain't gonna be here.
The hottie Girl friend has aquired a room at the exclusive inn across the river for the next two days.
When I say exclusive, she started trying to book a room on the first of January and it was booked up for the fourth of July then.
Someone had to cancel for us to get one.

So.
I am going to be gone with no internet access for two days and nights of drunken debauchery, heavy accent on both of those points.
Despite my best efforts over the last two days, I still have an unacceptable level of blood in my alchohol system, I aim to cure that.

With any luck and if I am still alive, I will be back on Tuesday.

In the mean time, stay safe and if ya can't stay safe, stay sanitary.

It's Gonna Be One Of Those Days

Fuck me.

As usual, I got drunker than a seven peckered Billy goat last night.
I left work an hour early and started in, came home and REALLY went at it, the neighbor asshole came over and I could not tell ya when I finally fell down, I do remember trying to pass out several times before I just got up and went to bed.
He was still here after I fell down and I have no fucking clue as to when he finally left.

My Ex girlfriend called and woke my sorry ass up about eleven, wanting to know how many fucking tomato plants I wanted, she has over fifty in her fucking green house and no place to put most of them. I told her to bring me ten, now I have to find a place to put them!
She has no idea what kind they are, I don't care.
So, as I try to wake my drunk ass up, I go to get on line to check my mail.

Denied.

The fucking batteries in my mouse are dead.
I fumble fart around and get dressed and go get in the truck to head to the Dollar store.

Denied again.

The clutch slave cylinder is leaking and when I step on the clutch, the pedal goes to the floor and stays there.
This is when the cursing starts in earnest.
I am supposed to go meet Nasty Girl for a weekend of drunken debauchery tomorrow.


I have had the transmission out of this cocksucker SEVEN fucking times!
A guy used it while I was on vacation a few years ago and blew it up to the point it broke a shaft in half. It has never been right since.
I finally yanked the bitch out and dropped it off at my buddies place, he fixed it and two months later, it took a shit again. He finally gave up and went and bought one out of a wrecking yard out of his own pocket, went through it at no charge and basically said don't darken my doorstep again with this mother fucker.

Fuck.
This ain't good.
I finally corral some idiot neighbor so I can bleed the clutch. Yay, now I have brake fluid running down my arm, inside my sleeve, laying on my back in the gravel.
I get the fucking thing half way working and still have to start the truck in gear and slam on the brakes and kill the engine to get from reverse to first gear.


Three blocks.
I am trying to get three mother fucking blocks, still half drunk.
I get around the corner and spy this long haired tweeker dude staring at an old Ford truck.
Oh, you can guess what happened next.

He came running over and stops me in the middle of the street and asks me if I have a fly wheel for a 390 engine.

WTF?
Like I have a wrecking yard in my pocket?

He starts yammering on about all the problems he is having with this Piece Of Shit old Ford that he making payments on for three hundred bucks and yadda fucking yadda.

In the mean time, I ain't paying attention but some other asshole in a mini van has pulled up and pretty soon he starts yelling at me to pull up five fucking feet so he can get in his damn drive way!
Sorry dude, didn't see ya. That gives me an excuse to get away from tweeker dude and I an back to get some batteries, so I could get on line and sit here and bitch and moan.
I have now been awake almost a whole hour.

Fuck this, I am grabbing a beer, having a smoke and going back to fucking bed.
See ya.

Damn It, Damn It, SON-OF-A-BITCH

I have a 7:45 tee time in the morning.

Fuck!

How bad do things suck when you're raging hard against an early morning tee time at the start of the first three day weekend you've had in fucking forever?

Germany vs Argentina in the quarterfinals of the World Cup kicks off at 7:00, my time.

I totally fucking spaced the game when I agreed to this!

This sucks bad 'cause I ain't seen one of the friends I'm playing with for way too long and he wouldn't understand if I bailed now. The World Cup only happens every four years and it's GERMANY vs ARGENTINA, for fuck sake! That match up would normally be a final.

Fuck, fuck, double fuck!

Yeah, I'll still have the recording but you KNOW that just ain't the same. Watching something that already happened is like jacking off to porn.

Damn it, damn it, SON-OF-A-BITCH!

spongebobcrackwhore

I Finally Pissed EVERYONE Off!

Either that or my stat counter is broken.
According to it, I have not had one single visitor since ten o'clock last night.
Lol! It could be too, that everyone is somewhere else.

The ACLU Is Suing The DOJ And The FBI Over The No Fly List

It's about fucking time.
It seems some people in our government have never heard of "Due Process".
It's in that God damn piece of paper that is our fucking constitution.

No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury, except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offense to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation.[1]

My bold.

The list is maintained by the US authorities as part of the measures aimed at preventing attacks.

But critics say there are problems with "false positives" where a person is stopped from flying because they have the same name as someone on the list.

And, the ACLU says, people are usually not told the reason for their inclusion on the list and have no effective way to dispute it.
Continue reading the main story


Those wrongly on the list are being denied their rights to "due process" under the law, guaranteed by the Fifth Amendment of the US constitution, the ACLU says.

Courtesy of the BBC.

There is no apparent rhyme or reason why anyone gets on this list, shit, they have little kids on it.
The real bitch is, you don't know yer on the fucker until you actually try to get on a fucking air plane to go somewhere!

They say, well, we have a website you can go to...
What they don't tell ya is that you never get anywhere using it, kinda like a dog chasing his tail.
People have no way to find out how they got on the list in the first fucking place and no way to confront their accusers or argue their case.
That is unconstitutional and this No Fly List stinks to high heaven of Tyranny and Police State tactics in the first place.

I hope the ACLU wins this case but I can already tell you it is a forgone conclusion the Government will stomp their little feets and cry National Security, you fucking watch.

Bastards.