It's Gonna Be One Of Those Days

Fuck me.

As usual, I got drunker than a seven peckered Billy goat last night.
I left work an hour early and started in, came home and REALLY went at it, the neighbor asshole came over and I could not tell ya when I finally fell down, I do remember trying to pass out several times before I just got up and went to bed.
He was still here after I fell down and I have no fucking clue as to when he finally left.

My Ex girlfriend called and woke my sorry ass up about eleven, wanting to know how many fucking tomato plants I wanted, she has over fifty in her fucking green house and no place to put most of them. I told her to bring me ten, now I have to find a place to put them!
She has no idea what kind they are, I don't care.
So, as I try to wake my drunk ass up, I go to get on line to check my mail.

Denied.

The fucking batteries in my mouse are dead.
I fumble fart around and get dressed and go get in the truck to head to the Dollar store.

Denied again.

The clutch slave cylinder is leaking and when I step on the clutch, the pedal goes to the floor and stays there.
This is when the cursing starts in earnest.
I am supposed to go meet Nasty Girl for a weekend of drunken debauchery tomorrow.


I have had the transmission out of this cocksucker SEVEN fucking times!
A guy used it while I was on vacation a few years ago and blew it up to the point it broke a shaft in half. It has never been right since.
I finally yanked the bitch out and dropped it off at my buddies place, he fixed it and two months later, it took a shit again. He finally gave up and went and bought one out of a wrecking yard out of his own pocket, went through it at no charge and basically said don't darken my doorstep again with this mother fucker.

Fuck.
This ain't good.
I finally corral some idiot neighbor so I can bleed the clutch. Yay, now I have brake fluid running down my arm, inside my sleeve, laying on my back in the gravel.
I get the fucking thing half way working and still have to start the truck in gear and slam on the brakes and kill the engine to get from reverse to first gear.


Three blocks.
I am trying to get three mother fucking blocks, still half drunk.
I get around the corner and spy this long haired tweeker dude staring at an old Ford truck.
Oh, you can guess what happened next.

He came running over and stops me in the middle of the street and asks me if I have a fly wheel for a 390 engine.

WTF?
Like I have a wrecking yard in my pocket?

He starts yammering on about all the problems he is having with this Piece Of Shit old Ford that he making payments on for three hundred bucks and yadda fucking yadda.

In the mean time, I ain't paying attention but some other asshole in a mini van has pulled up and pretty soon he starts yelling at me to pull up five fucking feet so he can get in his damn drive way!
Sorry dude, didn't see ya. That gives me an excuse to get away from tweeker dude and I an back to get some batteries, so I could get on line and sit here and bitch and moan.
I have now been awake almost a whole hour.

Fuck this, I am grabbing a beer, having a smoke and going back to fucking bed.
See ya.