GRRRRR

Here is to the three fucking guys on this planet who need a swift kick in the fucking balls.
Number one, the brilliant mother fucker who invented theft proof lug nuts.

Two, the dickhead motherfucker who put them on with an impact gun and least and fucking last, the ignorant dumbass who loses the key, that the dickhead with the impact gun put them on with..
I have dealt with this before but of course, I had to find the aftermath of the dumbass who decide they should never come off again and the stupid fucking dickhead who lost the key, that fits the locking lugnut and the idiots impact gun who tighten a steel lug nut to two million foot pounds into an aluminum wheel.


I just spent two hours trying to get said anti theft lugnut off of a VERY expensive Aluminum wheel with all of my considerable mechanical skill and ended up fucking up the wheel, completely melting the hard to find center cap and using a cutting torch to melt the fucking wheel stud down far enough to yank the wheel off while it was still semi liquid at over fifteen hundred degrees.

This is all so I could get under my car to fix some melted wires going to the starter, that some other ignorant fuck didn't protect from the red hot heat of the exhaust manifold when they swapped engines.

I used  a lug nut wrench, a lugnut socket, a ten pound sledge hammer trying to drive the socket on hard enough to break it loose, the torch to get it red hot so I could get a bite into it with an air chisel, for forty five minutes and finally got pissed off and said, you will come off mother fucker.

That's when I went full mental and just cut the fucking thing off with the torch. Problem being, Aluminum wheel melts much easier than steel wheel stud and the smoke from the torch turned half of it soot black.

One down, just to fix the starter.

If and when I get the cocksucker fixed enough to run and drive, there are tire stores that have master keys for these fucking things and I will stop by on my way to get the fucking transmission leak fixed, so I can find out where the fucking oil leak is coming from.

THEN, I will deal with this half black wheel.

And before my buddy who I traded for this thing for has another hissy fit about how he should never done it, dude, I knew this thing was going to be a pain in the ass and I asked for every bit of it.
That does not preclude my privilige of griping like a butt sore monkey about all the fun I am having.

Fucking Chevy.

I need a bigger air compressor.

Shit will start flying then.

They still make lots of Chevy parts, for an apparently good reason.

I am going to thrash on this thing like a left handed, red headed step child, who stutters,with a hairlip.

Then I am going to get the BIG hammer.

I am going to win, you sonofabitch.

Just wait.


By the way, I never even bothered to look at the fucking wires.

After all that fun it was dinner time and yes maam, I was all done for the evening after working all day.

The World As You Know It Is Coming To An End

Want proof the World Wide Economic Crisis is still in full bloom?

England is telling Scotland they are on their own.

LONDON -- Breaking up is supposed to be hard to do – but Britain's government confirmed Tuesday it would happily offer Scotland the powers it needs to sever centuries-old ties to England.

Prime Minister David Cameron's government said it would sweep away legal hurdles to allow the Scots a vote on whether their country should become independent for the first time since the 18th Century Act of Union, which united Scotland with England to create Great Britain.


The end of the British Empire, officially.

Don't hold your breath when Northern Ireland and even Wales get the same offer.

In the mean time, I see Washington D.C. wants to become the 51'st state, yet again.

Good luck with that, they can't even afford caviar in the White House every other Thursday.

If William Wallace could find enough body parts to get his hands on both of his balls, there would be a huge party in Scotland.
Apparently, I am only Double Irish because my ancestors got driven out of Scotland back in the day.

It gives me a visceral grin to see Britain have to give up skimming all the sixpense and Quid from the Scots in taxes and have to cut the cord to save their own asses because of the few greedy bastards who are in cahoots with the greedy fucking bastards on this side of the pond.

The Scots are in a tragedy financially but if they can gain independence and survive financially, there will be Hell to pay.

Hell.To Pay.

If Greece can pull it out, sure as shit, the Scots can and like I just said, there will be economic warfare coming to London such as they have not seen since the Blitzkreig of 42.

I Can't Fucking Wait

Fucking idiots.

Every motherfucking one of them involved in this manufactured crisis.

It's Friday night, they will either come up with some fucked up mess of a Goddamn fucking half measure and declare themselves American heroes or they will stay true to form and shit the bed and roll around in it and wake up pointing fingers at everyone else.

I really don't know what anyone else thinks about this fucking goat rodeo but there ain't one single cocksucking, moneygrubbing motherfucker that is in office at 11:15 P.M. on July 29th of the year of 2011 that is going to get one vote from me come election time.

As a matter of fact, after having voted every year since I was able in 19 fucking 80, all I see is it is a complete waste of my time because I can't give the dirty sonsabitches hundreds of thousands or millions of very soon to be worthless fucking dollars.

Knock yerselves out trying to find one decent sonofabitch worth voting for, the ones already in office will squeeze their balls or tits unrellentingly, doing the bidding of their big money masters.

Don't think for one fucking second that I am not going to call out their bullshit, I pay my fucking dues and every one of those jack asses is fair game.

Sunshine is quite the disinfectant and this country stinks to high heaven of rotten stinking sickness.

Remember, something about all enemies, foreign and domestic.

Heavy on the domestic lately.

Somebody needs to turn those Jack Booted Thugs at the DHS loose on those fucking assholes in Congress.

Bonus points for every "enhanced body cavity search".

Shit, we could save money and claim it under Medicare.

Speaking Of No Fly Zones,

One of my Domestic Terrorist Friends has decided to bail out of Blogger and move to WordPress.

EEEDIOT!

Oh well, I hope it works for him because as far as I am concerned,WordPress can lick the tar balls out of my ass.


Been there, done that.

I see a few other folks haver been having problems with Blogger and bailed out.
More power to ya's.
I am no tech geek but that outfit flat pissed me off.
I spent weeks and weeks trying to get that sumbitch to do what I wanted and got cock blocked every step of the way.
I have heard that it is more user friendly than it used to be but once you piss me off as bad as they did, suck my fucking dick.
One of these days I am going to have to get my own website and that is going to cause me to have stomach cramps in the night.

In the mean time, I still known how to use this fucker, watch.

Need I say more?

Escaping The Velvet Chains

As much as it pains me, I have to go.

Nasty Girl is currently distracted and I have to load up the little hoopty and beat feet.

It is currently sunny and clear outside so I am going to haul ass before the weather turns to shit again, not that I actually, really, want to go. I gotta take care of my shit at home but this has been one hell of a week.

Damn, this girl takes good care of my sorry ass!

I try to return the favor.  Her neighbor was in town yesterday when I couldn't even get out of the fucking driveway and was nice enough to stop at the likker store for me so when I  started making fresh, home made  English muffins with the left over sharp cheddar cheese, a nicely fried egg and some of that delicious spiral cut ham we still had left, I made enough to go around both house holds. Damn good, if I have to say so myself. Y'all know what they call 'em. I made one extra and a ham and cheese sandwich for the road. I'll stop at Mickey D's after I hit the road and get a cup of coffee to wash them down with. That's a shout out to my pal  down Texas way, Coffee with the Hermit, Jim.
One hell of a nice guy.
He always has a pot on.

Any way, I needs to get my poop in one pile and throw it in the truck.

 Loves ya Nasty Girl, I know damn good and well you will read this after I hit the road.

Catch yer breath and wish me luck.

Thanks fer stopping by, I gotta split while the getting is good.

A special shout out to my buddy Steve and a neighbor or two, plus my folks for taking care of my shit while I was a willing prisoner here.

Another special thanks to my brother Kevin.

You all know who ya are.

Thank You.

To the rest of ya's
 get the FUCK outta my way.

\

I'm going home.

Thanks Fer Stopping By.

Being unemployed, I can't afford seventy two fucking dollars a month for internet access. That buys a lot of beer and smokes, let alone ten pounds of taters and some eggs.
It's been a good run and I thank you all for supporting me and  my rants.
I am not completely shutting the place down, if I get a chance once in a while, I will vent my spleen again.
Take care of your selves and keep kicking the man in the nuts.
It took a long time and I had a lot of help.
164 thousand hits is pretty damn good for a drunk assed trailer trash kinda guy. I need to focus on reality now.

See ya on the next big job.

Busted.
Update;
Oh sure, the day I bail out, I get Friended on FaceBook by The Rude Pundit.
Jesus Fucking Christ, the irony is killing me.

Some Good News

I went to that job interview this morning.
Apparently the phone I got from my mom is still on Daylight savings Time.
It has an alarm feature that I set to go off at eight this morning after I went to bed a little early last night.
It did indeed, go off.
I staggered up off the couch and heated up some coffee, had a smoke and checked the old Email.
As I am waking up, I see it is ten after seven.

I jumped up and got cleaned up and changed, jumped in the bar brawler and hauled ass across the river, just narrowly missing Rush hour.
Got there a few minutes before eight and had to drive all the way around this big assed steel mill but I finally found the front office.
Parked the hoopty, got out, walked up, only to see a sign that personnel is four buildings down. There was a young kid looking for it too but I was a half a foot taller and could actually see the sign.
We both went in, grabbed an application and realized neither one of us had a pen so I stuck my head in the nearest office and got two, I ain't bashful.
He was done way before I was and I told him to stick his head in another office to see where to turn them in at.
Down the hall. Pretty soon this dapper looking older fellow comes out, looks at me, I am still writing, and grabs the kid.
I get done and about a minute later the kid goes away and this feller shakes my hand and we back to his office. He asked me my name and I gave him my first name. he asked me what my last name was and I told him and all of a sudden his demeanor changes, Ahh, so and so Smith told me about you. ( my Dad's neighbor)
apparently they have been expecting me. He asks me some questions, looks  at my Application, asks me some more questions and then hands me this math test to go take.
Math test?
'Scuse me?
So I go sit down and it is a bunch of measurement questions, like fractions on a tape measure, some square foot questions, the difference between a radius and a circumference of a circle, shit I forgot twenty years ago.
I did well, I only missed one, I think that might have been a clincher.
He told me he was really busy with some other things this morning but he would be calling me to meet the head of maintenance to see where they wanted to put me.

I took that as a good sign.

I left there, drove twenty five miles back to the Weasel den to feed the cat and grab the cell phone charger and then came back to the folks to take care of other business.
I called the union to get on the out of work list so I don't have to fuck with "Job search" for Unenjoyment.
It's the Painters union.
I told the lady it wouldn't do me any good because I am a mechanic, not a painter, I just need to be on it for unenjoyment. She kind of laughed, agreed and told me it wouldn't matter. There are already a hundred and two guys on the list in front of me.

Done with that, I tried to file my unenjoyment on line, four times.
I kept getting confused and finally called them so they could call me back. twenty minutes later, some nice lady called me, asked some questions about where I was getting confused and said, "No wonder!"

She walked me through it, I don't have to claim my severance check, that saves me a bundle, filed it for me and told me it was a good thing I had called because even she got confused a couple of times.
I had to call the office lady where I used to work to get a money amount for the last day I worked to tell the unenjoyment lady and found out I have a small check coming.
Even better.
So, it's a long post but it is good news, I could use some.

Thanks fer stopping by.

RIP, Mean Old Woman

The fucking cat went MIA  two weeks ago without notice.
One day she was waiting in the driveway when I showed up from work like she had been for over a year, the next day she was gone.
My brother gave her to me after I was so sad my other one went MIA after she jumped out of my truck and was gone for two freakin' months until I got a call telling me she was across the damn street from where she bailed out.
In the mean time, me and Baby had some interesting times.

 Me and the old woman cat had some serious go rounds and I have the scars to prove it, God Damn that little
bitch was mean. She didn't even have her front claws and she was twelve fucking years old when I got her.

Imagine this cat ten years older with three times the amount of hair around her neck, a bad attitude and  razor sharp teeth.
When I first got her, living in the old Weasel Den, she disappeared for three days, I tore the place apart looking for her. She was holed up behind the duct works for the heater in a place I couldn't even see with a flash light.
God, did we go round and round.
Then the games began.
That poor thing got so stressed out, she started shedding her mane to the point I came home one day and thought a fucking squirrel had died under the table, I shit you not, it was the biggest hairball I have ever seen.

It took quite a while for us to get to know each other and I have to admit I thought about killing the mean little fucker more than once.
She was only mean because she was scared.

I had to work at it for quite a while but we finally called a truce at some point and she was a great kitty after that.

The poor thing had some kind of blood type the fucking fleas around here loved.
I kept buying the so called three month flea treatment and it would work for a fucking week. Lying sonsabitches, she just kept getting ate up.
Shit, I am still killing the little fuckers.
Bombs away.

Any way, the ornery little thing has been gone for two weeks now, I have looked all over for her with no luck.
Not even a carcass. I figure she was at least fifteen years old, that is a long time for a cat. For you that have never had an old cat, that is what they do, they take off down the road and find some secluded spot to die on their own terms when they know their time is up.

Damn if I wouldn't like to have that option.
Sweet dreams kitty.
This has been a hard thing to post about, I kinda like little varmints.

Lying media/ government assholes, not so much.

Granny Sitting

Both my parents are out of town for a few days, in two different places. Mom is working and Dad is playing, so they asked me if I would come over after work and keep an eye on one of my two, 96 year old Grannies. Not a problem, I love them both dearly.
They have my nieces little friend who I think is about eighteen with a fifteen month old baby girl and her boyfriend come over during the day while I am at work and also have some medical people drop by during the day to give her a bath and other things I do not want to think about.

I actually overbilled myself on Sunday, my Aunt and Uncle were going out of town too and wanted me to watch my other Granny.
There was some serious miscommunication, at least I was confused, I did not know Dad was going to be out of town until Saturday afternoon, after I had already told my Uncle I would come over.
That led to some last minute scrambling on their part but they got it handled at the last minute.
Man, did I feel bad for that but it couldn't be helped, all my other brothers had shit going on.

Seeings I am pretty much the only batchelor, (sorry ladies, I DO have an awesomely hot girlfriend)I have no problem pitching in. I had to bribe the drunken little bastard neighbor to take care of my fucking cats but thats OK, they bug his ass all day when I am at work anyway.
He bitches but I know the little shit likes them.

So, now I get to sit in a nice chair, watch the fucking boob tube, see yesterdays post about that, and take nice, long, hot showers and drink the old man's booze while I am at it.I just got done heating up some soup for Granny, got her some ice water and will get her some sweets for dessert in a few minutes.

They got a new dog, some kinda Shit-zoo, it's still pretty young and the little fucker woke me up at six thirty this morning and was still going strong at eleven last night.I say Shit-zoo because it is a fucking zoo around here between that little bastard, who ain't quite potty trained yet, the older Shitzu, Andy and their old cat who are all laying aroundlicking their asses, until that little bastard Herbie gets a burst of energy and decideds to start fucking with the cat, then all hell breaks loose until I can get within arms reach and grab one of the fuckers and throw them outside until peace and quiet returns and the cat has time to go hide again.
So there ya have it, another day in the life of an Ornery Bastard.
Thanks fer stopping by.