Showing posts with label Automotive Technology. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Automotive Technology. Show all posts
Thursday, February 09, 2012
Apparently Being A Red Neck Is Not Exclusive To The Southern States Of America
Hey, the heater in my Ford is like lighting a match in a blizzard.
Saturday, October 01, 2011
And So It Begins
You know, that marriage thing.
It's been over a month now and we are having our first real disagreement.
Right off the bat, let me tell you she is absolutely right.
That, however, does not deter me
I can be a stubborn sonofabitch.
As you who stop by already know, I have been putting serious miles on my old Ford F-150, about 1500 miles a month the past few months and the damn thing only gets 15 miles a gallon.
I have a great friend who occasionally goes to car auctions and gets vehicles pretty damn reasonable so I told him I wanted some little beater with a four banger and a five speed so I wasn't getting killed on gas.
Months go by and lo and behold he calls me yesterday and tells me he has a 1990 ford Ranger that qualifies.
It ain't pretty, one door has a big dent in it and he has an early 80;s El Camino too.
Both are painted flat black primer.
I drove the Ford and it has some issues but it is a runner.
Me and him go back a long ways and cash usually isn't an issue, shit, I owed him eighty bucks for seven months and never heard a word.
I had a riding mower given to me, I gave him that and a Moped and all is good.
Anyways, we are at the folks today, helping them pack up and move a bunch of stuff into the garage before they leave and we move in and my Pal shows up with the El Camino.
It ain't real pretty but it runs good and it ain't completely beat to shit.
Disclaimer, I have been a Ford guy for many years now but I have also owned two El Camino's back in the day and loved both of 'em. A 71 and a 67, the 67 was my favorite but it had a straight six and three on the tree, something a kid under forty wouldn't have a fucking clue how to drive.
Anaway's, again, back to the current dilema, I want that Chevy now, after bitching about fuel mileage for months.
My commute is only ten fucking minutes now but the wife is throwing a fit about the gas mileage on it.
Yes, it has a four barrel carb, I made sure of that on the test drive down a residential street before I even opened the hood.
It also has a hard top over the bed and a built in water leak better known as a Sun Roof.
There are a bunch of wires hanging under the dash and no stereo but I was an automotive electrical specialist for ten years and that doesn't phase me.
My pal Steve will throw in a radio, I will trade him the old F-150 and we will make a deal.
Unfortunately, the wife seems to think this is a bad idea and she is just as fucking stubborn as I am, if not worse.
I might not get any nookie for a while but I am going to get that El Camino.
A guy has to do what he has to do.
I am keeping The Beast, my 67 Ford Highboy 4 wheel drive.
It's ugly too, paint doesn't make something like that run better or get better mileage.
9 MPG, uphill, downhill, loaded or empty, I keep it around for the nasty winters we get around here.
Do ya know anyone with too much money and not enough sense?
I have a 1964 Austin Healey Sprite for sale now. Apparently I am currently limited to two toys at this time.
2 door convertible 1275 engine bored out .040 over with less than 2000 miles , rebuilt trans, all steel tilt front end, not stock, as a matter of fact, I can think of only one bolt that I haven't taken off this car.
No interior, has a roll bar and is turn key.
She is going to pitch a fit but there is a reason I call myself the Ornery Bastard.
Any prayers for my continued safety would be greatly appreciated.
I can see sleeping with one eye open for a while is in my future.
It's been over a month now and we are having our first real disagreement.
Right off the bat, let me tell you she is absolutely right.
That, however, does not deter me
I can be a stubborn sonofabitch.
As you who stop by already know, I have been putting serious miles on my old Ford F-150, about 1500 miles a month the past few months and the damn thing only gets 15 miles a gallon.
I have a great friend who occasionally goes to car auctions and gets vehicles pretty damn reasonable so I told him I wanted some little beater with a four banger and a five speed so I wasn't getting killed on gas.
Months go by and lo and behold he calls me yesterday and tells me he has a 1990 ford Ranger that qualifies.
It ain't pretty, one door has a big dent in it and he has an early 80;s El Camino too.
Both are painted flat black primer.
I drove the Ford and it has some issues but it is a runner.
Me and him go back a long ways and cash usually isn't an issue, shit, I owed him eighty bucks for seven months and never heard a word.
I had a riding mower given to me, I gave him that and a Moped and all is good.
Anyways, we are at the folks today, helping them pack up and move a bunch of stuff into the garage before they leave and we move in and my Pal shows up with the El Camino.
It ain't real pretty but it runs good and it ain't completely beat to shit.
Disclaimer, I have been a Ford guy for many years now but I have also owned two El Camino's back in the day and loved both of 'em. A 71 and a 67, the 67 was my favorite but it had a straight six and three on the tree, something a kid under forty wouldn't have a fucking clue how to drive.
Anaway's, again, back to the current dilema, I want that Chevy now, after bitching about fuel mileage for months.
My commute is only ten fucking minutes now but the wife is throwing a fit about the gas mileage on it.
Yes, it has a four barrel carb, I made sure of that on the test drive down a residential street before I even opened the hood.
It also has a hard top over the bed and a built in water leak better known as a Sun Roof.
There are a bunch of wires hanging under the dash and no stereo but I was an automotive electrical specialist for ten years and that doesn't phase me.
My pal Steve will throw in a radio, I will trade him the old F-150 and we will make a deal.
Unfortunately, the wife seems to think this is a bad idea and she is just as fucking stubborn as I am, if not worse.
I might not get any nookie for a while but I am going to get that El Camino.
A guy has to do what he has to do.
I am keeping The Beast, my 67 Ford Highboy 4 wheel drive.
It's ugly too, paint doesn't make something like that run better or get better mileage.
9 MPG, uphill, downhill, loaded or empty, I keep it around for the nasty winters we get around here.
Do ya know anyone with too much money and not enough sense?
I have a 1964 Austin Healey Sprite for sale now. Apparently I am currently limited to two toys at this time.
2 door convertible 1275 engine bored out .040 over with less than 2000 miles , rebuilt trans, all steel tilt front end, not stock, as a matter of fact, I can think of only one bolt that I haven't taken off this car.
No interior, has a roll bar and is turn key.
She is going to pitch a fit but there is a reason I call myself the Ornery Bastard.
Any prayers for my continued safety would be greatly appreciated.
I can see sleeping with one eye open for a while is in my future.
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Not My Personal Best
Gotta give me credit for trying.
Today was not one of my best.
The truck I tried to fix fucked up less than twenty four hours after I shut the hood.
The guy had some tire store put a winch on the nose of an F-250 and they had to move the power steering cooler, which is what caused the problem with his A/C condenser, the PS tubes rubbed a hole in the side of it because where the winch went was where the cooler was originally and it has some seriously fucked up molded in brackets, which only fit where the winch went in.
They tried to jerry rig it with some tie straps and I tried to re rig it but the new condenser has screws going up both sides and I tried to do it in the truck.
I couldn't see the fucking screws and it kicked the damn thing off at an angle and rubbed a hole in the brand new condenser in less than twenty four hours.
So, after having a couple of smokes and a beer, I dove under the prick on the side of the road and spent two and a half hours and several bucks out of my own pocket , two trips back to the Weasel Den for tools and two trips to the hardware store to re rig it yet again just to get him by until after the wedding.
Nothing like laying on the side of the road in direct sunlight and eighty degree weather, with hot transmission fluid running down your arm, trying to figure out how to fuck some other mechanic to make ya hot, tired, pissed off and thirsty.
I made some changes, had to buy some tubing and clamps, rig up some rubber mounts and curse like a sailor but I am sure he will be able to drive the jacked up thing until after I get married and then I will fix the thing the way it should have been done the first, and second time.
I had no idea what I was getting into when I opened the hood because they have those cute little rubber covers over the front of the truck covering everything up.
I will make it right, at no charge to the guy.
I figure another six hours for a job that should have taken about one.
Live and learn when working on four wheel drives.
Ya can't say I have no morals, at least some anyway.
In the mean time, that whole not smoking thing went away at light speed and for fucks sake, at eighty degrees and already pissed off, you bet yer ass I had a couple of beers.
I had to wrap a towel around my bald assed head to keep the sweat from blinding me every twenty seconds.
I told The Wife I would be sober at the wedding, she had better fucking hope I don't have to work on any God damned rigs on the way there, we will both be late because I will walk first.
Today was not one of my best.
The truck I tried to fix fucked up less than twenty four hours after I shut the hood.
The guy had some tire store put a winch on the nose of an F-250 and they had to move the power steering cooler, which is what caused the problem with his A/C condenser, the PS tubes rubbed a hole in the side of it because where the winch went was where the cooler was originally and it has some seriously fucked up molded in brackets, which only fit where the winch went in.
They tried to jerry rig it with some tie straps and I tried to re rig it but the new condenser has screws going up both sides and I tried to do it in the truck.
I couldn't see the fucking screws and it kicked the damn thing off at an angle and rubbed a hole in the brand new condenser in less than twenty four hours.
So, after having a couple of smokes and a beer, I dove under the prick on the side of the road and spent two and a half hours and several bucks out of my own pocket , two trips back to the Weasel Den for tools and two trips to the hardware store to re rig it yet again just to get him by until after the wedding.
Nothing like laying on the side of the road in direct sunlight and eighty degree weather, with hot transmission fluid running down your arm, trying to figure out how to fuck some other mechanic to make ya hot, tired, pissed off and thirsty.
I made some changes, had to buy some tubing and clamps, rig up some rubber mounts and curse like a sailor but I am sure he will be able to drive the jacked up thing until after I get married and then I will fix the thing the way it should have been done the first, and second time.
I had no idea what I was getting into when I opened the hood because they have those cute little rubber covers over the front of the truck covering everything up.
I will make it right, at no charge to the guy.
I figure another six hours for a job that should have taken about one.
Live and learn when working on four wheel drives.
Ya can't say I have no morals, at least some anyway.
In the mean time, that whole not smoking thing went away at light speed and for fucks sake, at eighty degrees and already pissed off, you bet yer ass I had a couple of beers.
I had to wrap a towel around my bald assed head to keep the sweat from blinding me every twenty seconds.
I told The Wife I would be sober at the wedding, she had better fucking hope I don't have to work on any God damned rigs on the way there, we will both be late because I will walk first.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Yo, Eh, Fixer, Gordon,Bob,Get a Load Of This Ignorant Fucking DoucheBag.
,This is just so fucking typical.
Get the fuck away from me you ignorant sonofabitch, before I open the drawer with all the pretty hammers.
Ya wonder why I am all done with this after thirty fucking years.
If you think for one second that this is a parody, I can absolutely tell you for a fact, I have had quite a few, very short, conversations exactly like this in the past..
Back in the day, I was just as ignorant about vehicles. I can remember the day someone asked me to hand them a grease gun and I had no Idea what the fuck he was talking about.
I certainly could not afford to pay anyone to fix my broke down fucked up pieces of shit cars that I was buying for a hundred bucks.
Ya wanna know what?
I went and bought Chiltons manuals, bought a ton eighty of beerto pay for badly needed help and begged some of the best for advice and to borrow a tool here and there.I don't call myself Bustednuckles for any small reason, I learned the fucking hard way. I also went to the school of hard knocks and over the last thirty years spent about eighty fucking grand on tools and roll away tool boxes.
I have seen what lies underneath the skin more than some doctors and bled a lot of of my precious blood,sometimes to excess.
I have worked with broken arms, wrists, thumbs and ankles.
Doctors some time they think they are pretty smart. When I come in for stitches on my thumb or other digit an you put in three and tell me to go home?
I tell you to put in six because I am going to work in the morning.
This is a true story.
They get pissed off at ya! Excuse the shit out of me, I got a living to make here, and a fucking Snap On payment, every. mother. fucking. week. Oh, by the fucking way, now I gotta pay you too.
At one time, I was paying more for tools than I was for a fucking house payment.
I was damn humble when I needed help and I had been wrenching on things since before I hit puberty.
You come into a shop like the arrogant cocksucker below and you will be damn lucky the guys from the tow company will show up to pull it out of the lot next week.
Ya see, like you have heard your whole life, it's who ya know.
Shoot, someone parked four damn cars in front of yours and we can't find the keys.
Called in sick today too.
Let me give you a piece of advice you would be wise to pass on to your children;
Don't piss off your mechanic, your doctor, your girlfriend,your carpenter,electrician, plumber your Mom or your fucking Lawyer. as a matter of fact, don't be rude to anyone who performs any kind of service for you.
I will give bonus points to the next person that tips the gas station attendant that stands out in the weather all day and night like you do that big titted bar maid, I do. Been there, done that, in a Blizzard, on Christmas Day.I know, hard to find a big titted bar maid pumping gas in a blizzard on Christmas, you get my point
I have fixed more fucked up shit for free than I can remember, I can also remember shit like this that got you to call a cab than I give a rat fuck about.
Now, to see what inspired this little rant;
Yeah, right at the end there, I would be showing that fucking dumbass where the chrome muffler bearing fits with the high flow squeegie sharpener.
That and the door, I like my hammers too much to waste them on something like that.
Ignorance and humility will be miles ahead of stupidity and arrogance in my book, every fucking time.
I know of what I speak, ten fucking years at a Lincoln dealer. There are some arrogant mother fuckers in those places.
Sorry, your parts are on back order Maam.
Get the fuck away from me you ignorant sonofabitch, before I open the drawer with all the pretty hammers.
Ya wonder why I am all done with this after thirty fucking years.
If you think for one second that this is a parody, I can absolutely tell you for a fact, I have had quite a few, very short, conversations exactly like this in the past..
Back in the day, I was just as ignorant about vehicles. I can remember the day someone asked me to hand them a grease gun and I had no Idea what the fuck he was talking about.
I certainly could not afford to pay anyone to fix my broke down fucked up pieces of shit cars that I was buying for a hundred bucks.
Ya wanna know what?
I went and bought Chiltons manuals, bought a ton eighty of beerto pay for badly needed help and begged some of the best for advice and to borrow a tool here and there.I don't call myself Bustednuckles for any small reason, I learned the fucking hard way. I also went to the school of hard knocks and over the last thirty years spent about eighty fucking grand on tools and roll away tool boxes.
I have seen what lies underneath the skin more than some doctors and bled a lot of of my precious blood,sometimes to excess.
I have worked with broken arms, wrists, thumbs and ankles.
Doctors some time they think they are pretty smart. When I come in for stitches on my thumb or other digit an you put in three and tell me to go home?
I tell you to put in six because I am going to work in the morning.
This is a true story.
They get pissed off at ya! Excuse the shit out of me, I got a living to make here, and a fucking Snap On payment, every. mother. fucking. week. Oh, by the fucking way, now I gotta pay you too.
At one time, I was paying more for tools than I was for a fucking house payment.
I was damn humble when I needed help and I had been wrenching on things since before I hit puberty.
You come into a shop like the arrogant cocksucker below and you will be damn lucky the guys from the tow company will show up to pull it out of the lot next week.
Ya see, like you have heard your whole life, it's who ya know.
Shoot, someone parked four damn cars in front of yours and we can't find the keys.
Called in sick today too.
Let me give you a piece of advice you would be wise to pass on to your children;
Don't piss off your mechanic, your doctor, your girlfriend,your carpenter,electrician, plumber your Mom or your fucking Lawyer. as a matter of fact, don't be rude to anyone who performs any kind of service for you.
I will give bonus points to the next person that tips the gas station attendant that stands out in the weather all day and night like you do that big titted bar maid, I do. Been there, done that, in a Blizzard, on Christmas Day.I know, hard to find a big titted bar maid pumping gas in a blizzard on Christmas, you get my point
I have fixed more fucked up shit for free than I can remember, I can also remember shit like this that got you to call a cab than I give a rat fuck about.
Now, to see what inspired this little rant;
Yeah, right at the end there, I would be showing that fucking dumbass where the chrome muffler bearing fits with the high flow squeegie sharpener.
That and the door, I like my hammers too much to waste them on something like that.
Ignorance and humility will be miles ahead of stupidity and arrogance in my book, every fucking time.
I know of what I speak, ten fucking years at a Lincoln dealer. There are some arrogant mother fuckers in those places.
Sorry, your parts are on back order Maam.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
I Need A New Drool Cup
The old one is cracked after I dropped it when I saw this;
One mint condition Boss 429 Mustang with 4,400 original miles, it even has the original Bias Ply tires.
Can you imagine?
It's on Ebay and you can "Buy It Now" for a measly five hundred and fifty grand.
I knew a guy who had one of those when I was in high school, it was ten years old at the time and still one bad assed motherfucker.
Cross posted at Fixer and Gordon, natch.
Can you imagine?
It's on Ebay and you can "Buy It Now" for a measly five hundred and fifty grand.
I knew a guy who had one of those when I was in high school, it was ten years old at the time and still one bad assed motherfucker.
Cross posted at Fixer and Gordon, natch.
Wednesday, December 29, 2010
Some Good Advice
Click to Embiggen
Cross posted at my friends, Fixer and Gordon's Blog.
Check it out.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
Winter Vehicle Maintenance
Winter is here, we just got blasted for two weeks with snow and ice and now flooding.
The ice on your windshield can shred your windshield wipers.
If you have not changed your wiper blades in a while, now would be an excellent time to do so.
Get GOOD ones. Cheap wiper blades are a waste of time to change.
Check the protection level of your antifreeze. You can't believe what can happen to an engine block that freezes with water in it.
I have seen it a few times and it is ugly. The block literally splits wide open.
I actually drove a truck one time about a mile round trip that had frozen and I did not realize it until I parked almost exactly in the same spot when I got back.
I noticed a bunch of little metal disks laying on the ground, they were the freeze plugs that had been pushed out of the engine when the ice expanded.
I opened the hood and could not believe that that thing had even run!
The intake manifold had split, the heads had split and the block had split down both sides!
Yeah, check your antifreeze.
Top off the washer fluid, check the oil, belts and hoses.
Check all of your lights and just how soon are you going to be needing new tires?
Now is the time to get on top of the maintenance of your vehicle so it doesn't unexpectedly strand you in the middle of a snowstorm, at night.
Also make sure you have a blanket, some food and water just for emergencies.
A flashlight is a must have also.
A little preventive maintenance goes a long way.
The ice on your windshield can shred your windshield wipers.
If you have not changed your wiper blades in a while, now would be an excellent time to do so.
Get GOOD ones. Cheap wiper blades are a waste of time to change.
Check the protection level of your antifreeze. You can't believe what can happen to an engine block that freezes with water in it.
I have seen it a few times and it is ugly. The block literally splits wide open.
I actually drove a truck one time about a mile round trip that had frozen and I did not realize it until I parked almost exactly in the same spot when I got back.
I noticed a bunch of little metal disks laying on the ground, they were the freeze plugs that had been pushed out of the engine when the ice expanded.
I opened the hood and could not believe that that thing had even run!
The intake manifold had split, the heads had split and the block had split down both sides!
Yeah, check your antifreeze.
Top off the washer fluid, check the oil, belts and hoses.
Check all of your lights and just how soon are you going to be needing new tires?
Now is the time to get on top of the maintenance of your vehicle so it doesn't unexpectedly strand you in the middle of a snowstorm, at night.
Also make sure you have a blanket, some food and water just for emergencies.
A flashlight is a must have also.
A little preventive maintenance goes a long way.
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
Busy
Update:
Here is The Beast.
Crap, I been as busy as a one legged man in an ass kicking contest.
I went to do a post last night and fell asleep right in the middle of it.
I busted my ass all day Saturday, drug a 3/4 ton truck up onto a trailer with a come along and some help and then brought it to work and stripped it down to the frame and the cab.
Then I took the service body box off of my old Ford and swapped beds so at least it looks halfway decent.Of course I broke the back window out of it during this process, luckily the one I was stripping had the same window glass.
I had a buddy stay after work and help me put that back in too last night, then I spent two hours last night getting the bed bolted down and some of the wiring hooked up, cleaned all the crap out of it that I have been storing in it and put the canopy on it.
I still have a TON of work to do to this thing.
My Boss is on vacation so I am trying to get as much done as I can INSIDE of the shop instead of OUTSIDE in my gravel fucking driveway.
I still have brakes to do, a major tune up and the whole exhaust system to be replaced with headers and Flow Master mufflers.
I also still have to drill the frame so I can install the tow hitch assembly and put the back bumper on it.
That will at least make it street legal.
Much work to do, again, no rest fer the wicked!
Update;
I just crawled out from under the Beast,finished installing the bumper and tow hitch assembly at lunch.
Man, this thing is ugly but I don't owe anyone a fucking nickle on it!
Here is The Beast.
Crap, I been as busy as a one legged man in an ass kicking contest.
I went to do a post last night and fell asleep right in the middle of it.
I busted my ass all day Saturday, drug a 3/4 ton truck up onto a trailer with a come along and some help and then brought it to work and stripped it down to the frame and the cab.
Then I took the service body box off of my old Ford and swapped beds so at least it looks halfway decent.Of course I broke the back window out of it during this process, luckily the one I was stripping had the same window glass.
I had a buddy stay after work and help me put that back in too last night, then I spent two hours last night getting the bed bolted down and some of the wiring hooked up, cleaned all the crap out of it that I have been storing in it and put the canopy on it.
I still have a TON of work to do to this thing.
My Boss is on vacation so I am trying to get as much done as I can INSIDE of the shop instead of OUTSIDE in my gravel fucking driveway.
I still have brakes to do, a major tune up and the whole exhaust system to be replaced with headers and Flow Master mufflers.
I also still have to drill the frame so I can install the tow hitch assembly and put the back bumper on it.
That will at least make it street legal.
Much work to do, again, no rest fer the wicked!
Update;
I just crawled out from under the Beast,finished installing the bumper and tow hitch assembly at lunch.
Man, this thing is ugly but I don't owe anyone a fucking nickle on it!
Friday, January 18, 2008
I Keep Tellin Ya
Yes, this is going to be a recession.’
Think Progress
The questions are , how bad and how long?
Stupie McFuckwit is going out of his way apparently to leave a scorched earth economy for his Republican fluff boys to crow about.
All this can be left directly at his feet and no amount of spin by his laughing hyena apologists is going to put it anywhere else.
One of the very first things the next administration should do, if they're smart, is to come up with a realistic energy policy with heavy incentives to get as many fucking cars off the road as possible that run on gasoline and get with the many alternatives.
We have got to wean off of as much imported oil as this country can stand to do.
I know the cognitive dissonance that it causes when you hear some old school gear head like me say that, but it's true.We have the fucking technology, it's the incentives that are sorely lacking and you ain't gonna get any from Bush.
We have on the shelf technology that would bump average MPG up ten miles per gallon, minimum. You will see it, it just has to get so fucking expensive to drive what we have now that the public starts wanting it badly enough.
I have a clue you can keep an eye on as a barometer.
When you quit seeing so many of these goddamn Hummers on the road because the ignorant fucks can't afford to fuel them up, yer gettin' close.
Think Progress
Indicating the “depth of subprime losses and housing woes,” the “Dow Jones industrial average lost more than 300 points” today, “bringing its decline to 15 percent since its peak in October.” “Basically every day now, you have more and more investors leaning toward the camp that yes, this is going to be a recession, and it could be a severe one,” said David Kovacs, a quantitative investment strategist at Turner Investment Partners in Pennsylvania.
The questions are , how bad and how long?
Stupie McFuckwit is going out of his way apparently to leave a scorched earth economy for his Republican fluff boys to crow about.
All this can be left directly at his feet and no amount of spin by his laughing hyena apologists is going to put it anywhere else.
One of the very first things the next administration should do, if they're smart, is to come up with a realistic energy policy with heavy incentives to get as many fucking cars off the road as possible that run on gasoline and get with the many alternatives.
We have got to wean off of as much imported oil as this country can stand to do.
I know the cognitive dissonance that it causes when you hear some old school gear head like me say that, but it's true.We have the fucking technology, it's the incentives that are sorely lacking and you ain't gonna get any from Bush.
We have on the shelf technology that would bump average MPG up ten miles per gallon, minimum. You will see it, it just has to get so fucking expensive to drive what we have now that the public starts wanting it badly enough.
I have a clue you can keep an eye on as a barometer.
When you quit seeing so many of these goddamn Hummers on the road because the ignorant fucks can't afford to fuel them up, yer gettin' close.
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