Saturday, January 16, 2010

Payback Is A Bitch

I fucked up for a long time and got bailed out by my Grandparents, it's my turn and I do what I can.
The neighbors on the other hand can kiss my fucking ass.

I have a hilarious story about me having to drag one of my my ex girl friends home with a tow strap today that you will never hear. Just to give ya clue. when we got there, she bailed out and run into the house and puked her guts out.

What can I say? I asked her if she knew how to be the brakes when being towed and she said yes.

NOT. she admitted it was the first time she had ever been towed, at forty miles an hour on a twisty river road.

Bonus, I made her buy me a fucking drink and pinched her on the ass too.

I might be one of those guys who everyone looks down on because my fucking fingernails are dirty but you can bet your ass I am the first motherfucker you call when you are in trouble.
So, for the next dirty fucker you call when you are in some fucked up situation,

Kiss My Fucking Ass.

Then be damn thankful there are some nasty fucking people that are there to bail yer ass out when ya need it.

Believe me, I have had to have that happen more times than I would like to admit but I can look them in the eyes when I do it and I bail in and help as much as I can.

This is why I get infuriated with these Rip Off Banker cocksuckers. Get out and lay in a rainy street like I have, twice in the last 24 hours, to try and help some lady in distress, and then whine to me about how big you are to fail.

You sonofabitches deserve nothing but scorn and public humiliation, and I will laugh my ass off when yer stupid kid flushes a toy down the toilet, after I charge you as much as a used car costs.

I ain't just a mechanic and I thank my lucky stars that I was so blessed with a Grand Father who cared enough to take the time and had the patience to teach me some serious skills that you only find at a premium price these days.

8 comments:

  1. Nasty Girl7:33 PM

    You would be the first and only person I would call baby. Only problem is you live so damn far away from me that it wouldn't be feasible.

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  2. Right Bro dirty mother here too!

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  3. I might be one of those guys who everyone looks down on because my fucking fingernails are dirty but you can bet your ass I am the first motherfucker you call when you are in trouble.

    No fucking shit, homeboy. Folks only wanna know ya when their ass is in a sling.

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  4. Ornery,
    At first, when you said, "drag one of my my ex girl friends home with a tow strap", I was shocked. I'm glad you supplied the further info that she was in a car.
    Good on ya'. I'm glad I have someone to call if my car breaks down. And if you have a sudden structural problem with your house, you can alway call your friendly neighborhood Underground Carpenter.

    Dave

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  5. Don't sell the dirty fingernail crew short, Busted. When I was single, I had four rules about the men I would date:
    (1) None with fancier hair than me.
    (2)None with better/cleaner NAILS than mine(since mine were always a mess from yard work, this meant there BETTER be some oil involved on male nails!)
    (3) None with a higher voice (and I have a low voice)
    (4) No married men.

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  6. Just remember no good deed goes unpunished. So now you get sugar ants as your reward.

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  7. Who looks down on auto mechanics? Other than those banker assholes, that is? And they look down on anybody who's not a filthy rich thieving plutocrat like they are, so who the fuck gives a shit about what they think?

    - Badtux the Baffled Penguin

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  8. FUCK them bankers. Those assholes do not PRODUCE a goddamned THING except misery, and rich ex-wives! Those sonsabitches wouldn't know what END of a wrench or hammer to hold, unlike those who stop by to visit with you, dear friend.

    SEZ ME!

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