Monday, May 31, 2010

Doctor Doctor, Please

Yee Haw.
Quite the weekend.
Ow.
I am going to fall back down now, no fucking barbeque, no more anything.
I hope y'all had a good one,I am fucking wrung out.

Beer all over the fucking keyboard and cats hiding outside, whining as usual.
Whew!

I am going to have one hell of a time getting up in the morning.

Thank you baby.

Whole Lee She At. I had a good time.

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Here's How You Can Tell When I'm Drunk

Sing this like a Pogues song...

Well, I get on my computer and I rant about my fears
But I only ever do it after I've had too many beers
Sometimes I speak to the important, other times to the benign

People take what I say, each to their own way
I've no control over that, nor would I want it anyway
What I say is mine, agree or disagree

I rant about the world and the bullshit that I see
I rage about the things that just don't sit right with me
My lonely voice in a world of anarchy

People, far as I can tell, are bent are being first
Myself upon a pedastel, and the hell with all the rest
I see all of that and I wonder how we survive

People take what I say, each to their own way
I've no control over that, nor would I want it anyway
What I say is mine, agree or disagree

spongebobcrackwhore

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Asshole Of The Month Award

Goes to this guy...



A state trooper who wanted to stop animals from climbing on his vehicles trapped his neighbor's 5-month-old kitten and shot it to death.

The trooper, who said he was concerned for the safety of his three young sons, baited a steel trap with ham and captured a small domestic cat. When Houston tried to remove the animal, which did not have tags, it scratched him, according to his appeal. Then he killed it.

"The Petitioner did not know if the cat had rabies or any other disease," the summary filed by Houston says. "The cat was hissing and growling at Petitioner and Petitioner shot the cat."


The Petitioner shot the cat. The five month old cat. That was caught in a trap. What a man, what a man, what a mighty big man!

Asshole of the month award very richly deserved.

spongebobcrackwhore

Have A Nice Weekend

Heh heh heh, Nasty Girl says Hi.

Friday, May 28, 2010

All At The Same Time

My to-do list, for your "sucks-to-be-you" reading enjoyment:

5 waterjet fixtures for cutting the gating off of airfoil castings. They have to be made of stainless steel, hold 4 parts each, and by the way...they can't weigh more than 35 pounds apiece. Have a nice day. And apparently they're even letting the fucking janitor review the design 'cause I'm getting feedback from people I never even heard of before.

10 machining fixtures for impeller castings...5 for milling and 5 for dilling and tapping. Oh, and anywhere from 3 to 8 parts have to fit each fixture. No, we don't have models but here are some some really crappy old drawings that you can work from. Bonus: some are in English, some in Metric. Double extra special bonus: we just got an order for a whole new part family so you'll have to make them fit somewhere without a whole new fixture.

5 semi-truck front frame assembly fixtures. You know, the whole part of the big-ass truck that holds the ENGINE? We need them all done in 8-12 weeks, designed and built. Yes...all of them. Put on your personal-trainer-with-the-fake-ponytail-hat and say "You can dooooo iiiitttt!"

All of the above at the same fucking time.

And then there's the little crap like a printer assembly fixture that the guy who quit didn't finish the drawings for. And the changes to things that various people have decided they need now, even though they approved it originally.

The shit that gets sat on for a week before I find out about it is always fun. And holy crap, I almost forgot the 3 inspection fixtures that my boss stuck me with right before he went to Europe for his cousin's wedding!

At least I've still got the other guy, on the fucking phone every day trying to drum up more. Thank you very fucking little for that. How many of me do you see?

OB...dude...Sir...I gotta work this weekend but I'm taking at least ONE day off. Fuck, I was SUPPOSED to be winding down my vacation this weekend. No rest for the wicked. Call me and we'll hit some place for a beer or five or nine.

spongebobcrackwhore

Thursday, May 27, 2010

Right Before I Fall Down

Goddamn it's been a long week.
Just in time for a three day weekend, my girlfriend tells me she doesn't have a baby sitter at the last minute.
Shit.

So much for a long weekend of further adventures in carnal knowledge, like I need any more education.
Ah well, I just might have to devote some time to cleaning up this fucking Weasel Den.

Hurricane season is year round around in here.
God, what a slob I am.This place looks like a tornado went through here about every three days.

It has rained four fucking inches here in May. I have a ton of shit to do in the garden, I ain't fucking around out there in waiders though so I am waiting for it to dry out. I have a few measley little starts sitting in the window, they are starved for sunlight.
I can see a large part of a paycheck going to the local Feed and Seed this year.
I could have started a hundred plants with all the seeds I have and they would die before I could get them in the ground.
This is one of the top ten wettest May's we have had since they started keeping track a hundred fucking years ago .
Ah well, If I can, I am just going to go throw a bunch of seeds in the fucking ground this weekend and hope for the best.It's pissing me off that I have to start a garden in June, again.

By the way, FUCK BP, From what I have seen, there is a certain sonofabitch who needs to be in jail for being a "company man" and over riding the finalization of the shutdown process of that fucking well.
It ain't going to happen of course, this is the United Corporate States of America, after all.

Fucking cocksuckers.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

It is Wednesday, right?


I hit 40 hours for the week at about 1:00 this afternoon.

It's only Wednesday.

Does anybody have a gun? A knife? A rock? Anything you can kill me with...besides work?

Fuck me, I'm tired.

Even the cats are feelin' it. They ain't eating as much as normal and they won't stop meowing when I get home. Not to mention the fact that they already clawed the living' shit out of my golf bag, which I was stupid enough to leave sitting in the living room for entirely too long.

Fuckin' up their regularly scheduled lives. They usually take turns sleepin' with me but it was all three of 'em last night. Dirty little bastards kept me awake for awhile jockeying for position. That was fun. Couldn't hardly get pissed off at 'em though...they're just being cats and needin' some attention.

Oh..perfect. I just heard a thump over by the washer and dryer. I did a load of laundry whenever it is I finally got home today and just tossed what I need for tomorrow morning in the dryer. Left the lid of the washer open so there's momma cat hoppin' down in to explore. None too happy about being fished out, either.

It is Wednesday, right?

spongebobcraczzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Now Emailing To Bitch At Your Representative Is A Felony

According to this.
Why would I even want to comment on this?
Fuck those cocksuckers.
I have every damn right to contact every fucking representative in this ENTIRE COUNTRY and express my displeasure if I so desire.
I don't give a fuck if I live in Washington state, if that little peckerhead Lieberman in Connecticut does something that pisses me off, I have every right to send him a communication expressing my displeasure, as long as there are no threats involved.
I don't give a fuck if this guy has a record, if he paid his dues then he has every right to complain like the rest of us.

Jim Bunning is an excellent example of why we need to vote out every fucking incumbent.
Chickenshit motherfucker.

It is nice to know the dirty fucking bastards are scared though....

It's only going to get worse and the PTB are trying to preemptively scare us , again.

Fuck you. There are way more of us than you, remember that.

1200 troops Going To The Mexican Border

Yeah, to keep out one Mexican, the fucking President.

Asshole. whose bright idea was it to let that little sonofabitch onto the floor in Congress to bitch about our immigration policy and to complain that us every day plain old Americans are sending too many automatic weapons into his fucking country?
Like we can buy automatic weapons and if we could, we would be sending them to fucking Mexico?

Ease up on the tequila there dude.

Worse yet, our elected officials gave this little motherfucker a standing O
.
They should have given him an Atomic Wedgie and threw his ass on the first Greyhound outta town wrapped in a Mexican flag and a seat next to Epic Beard Man after he just ate a bad burrito.

These stupid fucks down in Arizona are begging for discrimination lawsuits, if I lived down there I would be handing out recall petitions for their stupid assed Governor at lunch time.
FUCK!

Texas, Oklahoma, Arizona, Nevada and California?
Give 'em all back to Mexico and let them deal with the fuckin' crazies. For frequent buyer miles, throw in Utah fer chrissakes.

Jesus Christ this country is coming apart at the seams.
Lucky me, I live in a state that still kind of shuns crazy fucking bastards like this and if it starts embracing this idiocy, I will damn sure pick up and move so far out in the sticks and get some rabid raccoons for pets that at least I will know the crazy won't be contagious.
I have had my rabies shots, that's a fact.

Here's An Ass Kicker Tune

I fuckin' love this, It's an ear worm, I can't get it outta my head.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Your Oil Dispersant Is On It's Way

And it looks like this.



June marks the beginning of Hurricane Season down South.

What are the odds that a big fucking hurricane comes along here shortly and with winds over a hundred and forty miles an hour, picks up a bunch of that black gold,oil ya see, and takes and dumps a metric buttload of an emulsion of oil, water, foam, stuff that will lubricate those squeaky hinges, all over the damn place, From Louisiana to fucking New York.
Once that shit gets picked up by hurricane force winds and is sucked up into the upper atmosphere, we are going to have the biggest can of WD-40 on our hands the world has ever seen.




Water Displacement, Formula Number 40.

90 weight oil, formula one, all over the fucking place.
It's coming, mark my fucking words, it will be raining oil.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Credit Where Credit Is Due, The Tea Baggers Edition

Yeah, I am going to bite my tongue here.
It seems there is a positive side effect from these peoples antics, they are making people aware of the Constitution.

I am going to snatch a fairly large part of this article and then put up a link .

WASHINGTON, May 21 (UPI) -- The U.S. Constitution has become a popular document to read in Washington and beyond, thanks in part to the rise of the Tea Party movement, The Hill reports.

The pocket edition, which also includes the Declaration of Independence, shot up to 10th in March among top sellers at the Government Printing Office, the Washington-based publication said.

Gary Somerset, a GPO spokesman, said public sales of the pocket edition have climbed to 8,700, higher than normal, since September 2009.

But the public sales numbers are dwarfed by the distribution of some 441,000 copies printed for House members and 100,000 for senators. Constituents can ask for free copies from their members of Congress or buy copies at $2.75 apiece.

"Many members have lately experienced a large increase in constituent requests for the Pocket Constitution....

snip

OK, this is a good thing.
Most people, especially the younger generations, have no fucking clue what the Constitution, let alone the Bill of Rights or the Declaration of Independance contain.
Hell, half the idiots I have to deal with on a daily basis are basicly functionally illiterate.

Breaks are Brakes,if they even get that close.

I am all for the people of this country getting to know the foundation that this place was built on so they can find out how far away we are from there now.These are the keystones of what this fucked up country were founded on
Take the current census for example, there is one fucking question that is required by the original constitution that you are required to answer, how many people live in your domicile.

.
Now they want to know if ya own yer own place, how many fuckin' cats ya got and what race you are, how much fuckin' money ya make, what.
Fuck off, eh?
Hey, kiss my fuckin' ass.
It's none of yer fucking buisness, period.
Kiss my ass again, that you think you can somehow make it a crime to not answer one of their assinine fucking questions.

How is it any of your fucking business if I own my own home?

What, you should have a pretty good idea how many fucking people don't anymore.
There's that financial meltdown thing going on that you keep bailing out.
Yeah, the motherfuckers at the top end who started it, anyway.


I have already had two ladies try and get a hold of me to finish that census bullshit.
Ya know what? I am doing my part to keep people employed, unlike you.

They'll be back.

Now you will have to excuse me, I have to go inquire if my girlfriend is a natural citizen and if she has her papers.

Fuck this place.

Friday, May 21, 2010

Somebody Needs A Fuckin' Beatin'.

Dammit, I gave an extra key to my worthless fucking neighbor so his kid could take care of my cats while I am off to commit my unspeakable acts. No Show.
Sonofabitch, I even left a giant pan of Spaghettie for 'em. I come home, the cat box is full, the cats are in a murderous mood at the fucking door because they have been in all day and now I have to throw away a half fucking gallon of spaghettie.
Mother. Fucker.

Back later, ignore the screaming.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Sorry Joe

Valerie Plame Wilson has a film out about her ordeal after she was outed by the Bush Administration for being a CIA agent.

Before one motherfucker says one fucking word `about that subject, I will warn you that I spent a great deal of time at Firedoglake for a number of years learning so many things that went on during that time, I have forgotten some of it. Not to mention I was there for the whole Libby trial.

Treason. That is what happened and if you want to argue about it, go school yourself at MT Wheelers place, she even scooped the fucking NYT.
Anyway, back to my point, I have seen this lady in person, have talked to her and her husband on line more than once too. She is a fookin' hottie and I made no bones about it then or now. Have somma dis for proof.



Like I said, sorry Joe, I have some serious fapping to do. I have no idea who the chick with no tits is,Naomi something, don't care.
Damn, her legs are almost as nice as Nasty girls.
Shit, speakin' of fappin', now I have double duty!

The Dead Zone Will Go Far Past The Docks In The Gulf

Now all the fishermen and people cleaning up the spill are already getting sick from the fumes and the dispersants being used, which, by the way, were documented after the Exxon Valdez,to cause BRAIN LESIONS AND DEATH.

From Crooks and Liars, linked above.

Marine toxicologist Riki Ott said the chemicals used by BP can wreak havoc on a person's body and even lead to death.

"The volatile, organic carbons, they act like a narcotic on the brain," Ott said. "At high concentrations, what we learned in Exxon Valdez from carcasses of harbor seals and sea otters, it actually fried the brain, (and there were) brain lesions
."



The whole fucking coast is now being treated to a nasty cocktail of chemicals and the people down there are trapped like a rape victim with an ether soaked cloth wrapped around their mouth and nose With no chance of escape.

Now imagine what is happening to every, single, organism in the wild life down there.

In the mean time, we are still hearing lies and obfuscations and absolutely no one seems to know exactly what the fuck is actually going on with regards to how bad this spill is, how much is coming out of the hole in the sea bed and exactly what the fuck they are going to do to stop it, let alone clean the shit up.

I said a week ago that this mess is going to wind up in the Mediterrainan, I stand by that, there is so much oil in the water now, it will probably wind up going around the entire planet eventually.

If there are not criminal charges filed againstthe assholes responsible for this environmental disaster, I suggest you start stocking up on self defense items and lots of food because this is going to be a disaster of global proportions and a whole lot of people are going to wind up getting the fuck away from this mess in a big hurry. Maybe MILLIONS.

Off To A Wedding

I HATE them. The only damn thing any good about a wedding is the buzz that I catch before, during and after one.
You think I'm kidding, I even took a shot of whiskey in the middle of my great aunts funeral once.
Kinda the same thing, now that I mention it.
Y a gotta be good to get away with that shit, it's all a matter of position, always sit in the back, preferably with a co conspirator for look out and to block the view.

Anyways, It's my nieces wedding, on a fucking Thursday, in downtown Portland.
Great choice there honey, nothing like trying to find a place to park and then having to fuck with rush hour.
Ah well, I'll be relaxed, it ain't my fucking wedding. All I have to do is show up and take care of both of my 96 year old grannies.
It ain't like I can't out run them, should be a piece of cake.

Back later with the gruesome details.
Mutter, mutter, fucking weddings.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

My Senator Did Good Today

There has been many a time I have railed against one of my Senators but today, one of them made up for it.
For those who give a shit, I live in Washington State and I have two ladies for Senators, Patty Murray and Maria Cantwell.
Normally I am pissed off and spell it Can'tWell but today she stuck a broken mop handle in the ass of those rotten fuckers who keep trying to let these big banker motherfuckers get off with no oversight.
She teamed up with Russ Fiengold and shut the debate and the vote off for reform.

Why am I happy about this when I think these banker bastards should be strung up from the nearest tree?
It wasn't reform enough and they fucked the rest of those pussy cocksuckers who were going to let them get away with financial murder.

Chris Dodd has really disappointed my ass when he keeps trying to dilute the reform of the banking industry, especially when he is the chairman in charge of that shit and ran for President on that platform.

For once, my Senator did the right thing against the tide of let them all do what they want and if I rant and rave when she does something I don't like, then fair is fair.

Kudos to you Ms. Cantwell for doing the right thing.

Keep up the good work, I just might vote for your narrow ass next time around.

BANK PROFITS THREATENED

Dodd, Banking Committee chairman, has fended off proposals from some Democrats that could upend the financial industry, but analysts expect the final legislation will still cut into profits for banks and other firms on Wall Street.

"The final bill will contain fundamentally tough reforms, creating many headwinds to banks' profitability," analysts at FBR Capital Markets wrote in a research note.

The failed cloture vote lets lawmakers keep pushing for proposals that otherwise would fall by the wayside.

Democratic Senator Maria Cantwell, one of two Democrats to oppose cloture, continued after the vote to press for tighter regulation of derivatives.


A spokesman for Russ Feingold, the other Democrat to vote against cloture, said he did not believe the bill was strong enough to prevent another financial crisis.


Get after those sonsabitches, they are killing the entire world economy and bragging about it.

Life Sucks Shit

No more spongebobcrackwhore for a while boys and girls. Ha! Not that most of ya will miss me anyways...

I'm gettin' hammered at work. I already had a full plate and it got super-sized today.

Shit, I bet I looked like a fucking cartoon dog with his jaw slamming the floor and his eyes popping out a couple of feet to the sound of an oldie-timey car horn when I saw what's headed my way. I sure as fuck felt like one.

I won't bore ya with the details. Today was the first in a long-ass string of 12+ hour days. A string that I can see lasting for a good 6-8 weeks. Full 7 day weeks, thank you very fucking much. Yay. I'm too old for this shit.

My life for the next couple of months will be get up, take a shower, feed the cats, work a day and a half in one, come home, feed the cats, slam a six-pack, sleep, get up, take a shower, feed the fucking cats, work a day and a half in one, come home, feed the god-damned motherfucking cats, slam a six pack, sleep, get up, take a shower, feed the...you get the idea.

By the time it's over the cats will probably be glad I don't know a nice *insert your own prejudice here* family who'd like to meet them.

The only good part will be collecting the paychecks since I'm not stupid enough to work for salary. If I work overtime I'm fucking get paid for it or I'm not doing it, end of story.

OB...dude...Sir...sorry to bail on ya (temporarily) but duty calls. When the dust settles don't be surprised if I ask ya to come and crack that bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue Label with me. I'm about to earn it and I can think of few people I'd rather share it with.

And you wanna know why this REALLY fucking blows? Because the god-damned World Cup starts in about 3 weeks! I have no choice but to either quit my job or bust my ass if I hope to catch what I can from the knockout stages. Yeah, yeah...TIVO this...what good is recording something you won't have time to watch?

I will be in front of a TV for the final even I have to fucking haul one to work with me!

See ya'all on the other side.

spongebobcrackwhore

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Goodbye Arlen, Hello Rand, Get Lost Blanche

Wake the fuck up you corporate whores, we have had enough of your shit and you are going away.
I still haven't heard about the Oregon Primary but this is a vey clear message that we have had more than enough of these fucking assholes not listening.
Arlen Specter is the equivalent of Joe Lieberman and now he is gone, just like that.
Good riddance.

I have a feeling that Blanche Lincoln is seeing the writing on the wall and her opponent is going to go for the jugular.

Understand this, I am not talking partisan politics here, I am talking a very clear signal that the incumbents have to go, business as usual is over.

Halleluja, it's about time and more of this, please.

Back To Reality

I scattered my Get Home Bag all over the damn table late last week and then like the idiot I am, went for a two hour one way drive without it over the weekend.

I wasn't too worried about it, I was in cell phone distance from both ends if the truck broke down and I always have at the very least two pocket knives, a small Snap On crescent wrench and at least two ways to make fire.
If nothing else, it was an Interstate highway and the cops would have taken me somewhere just to get me off the highway.

Damn, I just rearranged that thing and it doesn't have a lick of fresh clothes in it and I bet it still weighs twenty five pounds.
I do have a couple of things in it that I have not seen mentioned, it is compartmentalized in case of a real damn emergency so that I can dump the main bag, grab a few separate items, and get down the fucking road and still be able to expect to get by for at least two days.
If I can't hitch a ride or get where I am going, take my word, I am a VERY resourceful guy. Several years in the Boy Scouts and a lifetime of hardscrabble living has taught me things that ninety percent of my contemporaries would have no fucking clue about how to survive in this particular area.

One thing I haven't seen was anyone carrying a fishing vest.
They have tons of pockets and if you get creative enough, you can stuff enough crap in one of those by it's self to get by for at least four days. Just make sure some of those pockets have some kind of food in them, dehydrated, preferably, and a way to carry water. Even a condom or a plastic bag will work.
Another item is a prepackaged , cheapie water bottle that has a space blanket, water tablets, a lighter, a poncho and several other handy little items I got from my folks for Christmas a couple years ago. Re arrange the damn thing and you can get by with one of those by it's self. Put a good knife, some tin foil, tea bags and some bullion cubes in it and you can get by for several days if ya can find some water.
Around here in the Columbia Gorge, you would have to be hurt so bad you couldn't crawl and not find water.

Either way, make damn sure every thing is water proof and that at the very least, you have an extra heavy duty , size large garbage bag, a Bic lighter and a good knife. That alone can save your skin around here.

Monday, May 17, 2010

He's BAAAAAAACK!!

And he is just as fucking stupid as ever.
Who would that be you ask?

Why my favorite idiot, Governor Bobby Jindal,(R)etarded) (LA).

I swear, this guy likes abuse.

Louisiana governor Jindal takes active role in dealing with spill.


By David A. Fahrenthold
Washington Post Staff Writer
Tuesday, May 18, 2010

OVER THE GULF OF MEXICO -- Strapped into a National Guard Black Hawk, peering down at green water mottled with oil sheen, the most serious man in Louisiana is starting to sound ridiculous.


LOL!
He said it, in print, so I didn't have too.
Thanks for pointing out the obvious, Dave.
Wait, it gets better.

Over the helicopter's intercom, Gov. Bobby Jindal (R) is explaining to the mayor of New Orleans two of the state's efforts to keep back the oil slick. One is named for a Mexican entree. The other is named for a Cajun sausage.

The "burrito levee" and the "boudin bag" are part of a vast effort, overseen by Jindal, to hold back a slick that is already spitting tar balls onto the state's coast. He also has a plan to create more Louisiana, building new barrier islands in the oil's path.

"It makes so much sense. It's so obvious. We gotta do it," Jindal said into his headphones. His call for a major government response stands in apparent contrast to his previous calls for small government.


Oh my fucking God, this guy never ceases to amaze me with his idiocy.
Build new islands?
Build new islands.

Oh my, here we go.
For those new to this joint, I tore Jindal a new asshole last year when he did the rebuttal to the then new Presidents speech. In that rebuttal, he was whining about the money spent for monitoring volcano's. I won't go into it much, you can read my ass blistering comments on that here.
I do have to say it was one of my best posts.
Anyway, in that, I was ranting about all of the ash from the eruption of Mt.Saint Helens in 1980 that is still all over the fucking place, miles and miles of it, complete. artificial. islands of it. miles long..


That should give ya an idea of how much raw material I am talking about, 230 square miles.

So, here's the deal ya little moron.
You want new islands?They can get pretty spendy.

I will GIVE you new islands, just send a couple THOUSAND barges and the equipment and crews and you can have as many as ya want.

Really.

It will only take , oh, maybe ten years but hey, they are free!


My God, the stupid, it hurts to get down to that level of ignorance for more than a few seconds.

Where the fuck does he think he is just going to "get" some islands, Ebay?

You poor fuckers in Louisiana voted this cretin into office, you deal with his stupid ass while I slam another shot of whiskey and laugh my guts out.

What a maroon.

Update,
Bonus, today is the thirtieth anniversary of that sucker blowing it's top.
What a koinky dink.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

The Song Remains The Same


With zero apologies to Led Zeppelin, who pretty much ripped off every damned song they ever played from some old blues musician or another. Shit, the other day I read where even the guitar from Stairway was stolen. And to think how many hours I wasted on them in high school...quite literally.

What? It was the 70s. Get off me.

Anyway, this is about solar sail technology which I think is awesome in a retro kind of way. Given the fact that our planet is about 70% ocean and a lot of it was explored with sailing ships. I can't even imagine what it must have been like to just sail off over the horizon not knowing where you're going or what you'll find or how you'll kill the people who already live there so you can steal their gold.

So, here we are...starting to explore space and what are we using? Sailing ships.

I think that fucking rocks because it reminds us that for all our technological advancement there is still a whole hell of a lot we don't know. We want to go someplace over the horizon so we're falling back on the tried and true to get us started.

No doubt the technology will advance someday and sails in space will become playthings or historical curiosities, like the boats with sails that most of us know, but that's where we are right now, today. Hell, we ain't even there yet. We're still trying to figure out if hanging up a big ass piece of something that can catch the (solar) wind will even work.

We're gonna need to get off this planet someday so why not? We sure as hell ain't gonna row there.

Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta get back to wonderin' if that pic OB posted is really his girlfriend. She's hot enough, for damn sure...and the kitchen is small enough...but could a place known as The Weasel Den really be that tidy?

spongebobcrackwhore

Saturday, May 15, 2010

I'm A Lucky Sonofabitch Sometimes

Damn, you should have seen my girlfiend at the store today.
Even the chicks were checking her out.
What a fuckin' hottie! Short black dress, killer stilleto's,tits all over the damn place.
Shit, she bent over looking at some hamburger and I had to stand behind her.
If there is anything better than a hot chick in a short skirt bending over right in front of ya, God kept it for himself.
If ya don't hear from me for a bit, you can figure that shit out, can't ya?
Bye.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Constitution Toilet Paper

Our politicians are nothing but thieving lying bastards. Every fucking one of 'em.

Somebody wanna tell me why there's a provision in Obama's Heath Care Reform that says an elderly or disabled person can't buy a powered scooter or wheelchair until they've rented one for 13 months? What the fuck is that? This is America for Christ sake and you're not allowed to BUY something?

That, right there, is the corruption of the system at work. You know damn good and well that some lobby or another got to enough politicians with enough bribe money...oh, sorry...it's called "campaign contributions" nowadays...to get that bullshit included.

Somebody else wanna tell me why there's a cap on what oil companies have to pay to clean up spills? No, I'll tell you...because the fucking oil lobby bought it into law. Fuck the environment and let the tax payers foot the bill.

Anybody ever heard of that pledge that Congressmen and Senators were asked to sign saying they wouldn't become lobbyists after they left office? Yeah, that went over like a TSA agent with a small dick walking through a full body scanner. I don't think anybody ever signed the damned thing. Once the bastards get elected and learn the system they bail off to some half-million dollar a year job to do some serious country-raping.

I wanna fucking bitch-slap somebody when I hear a politician use the word "change". What the fuck ever changes besides not a god-damned thing? Dick Cheney wiped his ass with the Constitution and that stupid fucking bitch Obama nominated to the Supreme Court will do the exact same thing.

Have you read some of the bullshit that comes out of that woman? She says the fucking First Amendment somehow doesn't apply! She says the government can censor speech "when it's motives and intentions are good". That's almost as fucking ridiculous as Cheney claiming to be free from Congressional Subpoena because the Office of The Vice President isn't part of the fucking Executive Branch!

Have these brain-dead assholes never even READ the paper they've sworn to uphold? I've read it hundreds of times just trying to figure out what in the hell they're thinking in Washington DC. The Patriot Act alone violates the 4th Amendment in more ways than I can count.

When my brother was in the army they passed out a questionnaire to the 82nd Airborne and one of the questions was how would they feel about going house to house IN AMERICA confiscating guns. It got leaked and the Pentagon backtracked pronto, saying the question was "designed to ascertain willingness to obey an unlawful order". I call bullshit. Governments prefer unarmed peasants and they intend to have 'em someday.

Go read the Bill Of Rights and ask yourself how many things have been crossed off the list by the fucking government. I see the 4th gone. I see the 1st and 2nd in very serious danger. I see the 5th violated daily. The 6th and 8th have been ignored for years. The 10th passed completely away 100 years before I was born on the battlefields of the Civil War. The 9th is so ambiguous as to be practically meaningless these days.

That leaves us with the 7th and 3rd. Woohoo! We can get a trial by jury in civil matters and don't have to quarter troops! Sweet.

I could power the fucking universe if I could use Thomas Jefferson and the boys as generators. They're spinning in their graves fast enough.

I've never been to Washington DC but if I ever do go I wanna get a couple of cases of toilet paper with the Constitution printed on the sheets so I can hand 'em out free to Congressmen and Senators. Holy fucking shit...I'd do it, too...if I didn't already know for a certain fact that I'd be arrested for some damn thing or another.

Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm just getting too old. Maybe I'm senile and I just don't get it anymore. I thought America was about personal freedom. Maybe I'm the one who lost the plot...but I'll tell you one thing...this country is really startin' to suck. Bad.

spongebobcrackwhore

We Shall See

I did something out of the ordinary last night and actually got something accomplished.
I cut up some paper towel rolls and got out the peat moss and some seeds and started twenty five little peat pots.
I have WAY more seeds than garden space but that is a good thing.
They are sitting next to a window and will stay warm and get plenty of light.

I also tore into my get home bag, what a disaster that thing was.
It is going to take several more hours to put it back together the way I want it but it was way the hell overdue.

Little by little, I am trying to get my shit back together, I have seriously been slacking.
Now that the weather is starting to get decent, I find myself getting more active. I am one of those unfortunate souls who gets all fucked up in the winter, the short days and miserable weather just shuts me down.

Now I have more to do than I can shake a stick at but I am chipping away at the stone.

I am going to busier than a half fucked fox in a firestorm here shortly.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

The Blame Game Redux (Warning: Different Perspective Ahead)

Actually corporations are people...in the form of millions of small investors who own stock (whether they know it or not - via 401K's and such) AND in the form of a handful of greedy, immoral bastards who get insanely rich by raping the planet just because we let 'em get away with it. The system, which rewards said greed with massive CEO salaries and bonuses, is DRIVEN by the greed of said tiny investors who expect a dividend at the end of the day. Gotta pump up that retirement fund, don't cha know. So what if it takes a few disasters? I got mine.

Better check your own...if you got one...before you read on
.
In other words, we're fucking ourselves. BP, Trans Ocean and Halliburton wouldn't be in it if there wasn't a consumer and investor demand for it. Let us not forget that even the liberal iconic god-like Michael Moore has owned stock in Halliburton.

Now, I don't dispute at all that this is an epic disaster. Personally, I'd call World War II the biggest man-made catastrophe in history but that's another debate. I'll see your decimated fisheries and raise all-in, with the number of humans who died. The planet has recovered from far worse than the biggest oil-spill. After we kill ourselves off something else will replace us...I'd bet large on the cockroaches but I won't be around to collect so what's the point?

No doubt that there are people who should hang high for this. And I get fucking pissed off beyond belief that these massive enterprises like BP and GM pay almost no tax while families struggle to pay the bills.

Meh...but demonizing corporations does no good in the end because they're going to keep on doing whatever they can get away with, aren't they?

"Of course fucking of course! I wasn't asking, I was telling."

(sorry...had to sneak in one of my favorite lines from the movie Snatch)

Who allows the corporations to get away with this bullshit?

The government does.

Who elects the government?

We do.

At the end of the day the only conclusion that I can come to is that we just don't give a fuck until something bad happens. We, the people, have totally and utterly FAILED to do preventative maintenance and make sure that our government operates the way it ought to. No fucking different from the engines and pumps and shit that OB busts his knuckles on every day.

"People get the government they deserve, whether by action or inaction". Thomas Jefferson said that, I believe...or something along those lines...I don't mind being corrected if I'm wrong in either the quote or the source.

The wrong way to change things is by violence, you'll never hear me advocate that...the right way is by ceasing to be complacent and by making voices heard in the vote. The problem with that scenario is, once again, that we just don't give a fuck. I'm so disillusioned by the political process in this country that I don't. I've pretty much washed my hands of it because stupidity is my biggest pet peeve and stupidity is rampant on both sides. My one single vote ain't gonna make a damned bit of difference one way or the other because too many other people are fucking idiots. Republicans in charge, Democrats in charge...it doesn't fucking matter because the only changes these days are wild swings to either the left or right.

We're spinning our wheels and going nowhere fast. If I was allowed 5 minutes in charge of America and could pass one law in that time which could never be repealed I would make it this...the outlawing, totally and completely, of lobbying by special interest groups. I would make it a capital offense. No more bought-and-paid-for politicians. No more pork barrel bullshit.

The language of the bill would basically say (in legalistic terms, since government thrives on THAT), "Look, you've been elected to do what's right for the people who gave you that power so what's the problem? Shut the fuck up and do it or you're out of here".

I don't dispute anything OB said...I agree with it all. I just think that we, the people, as a body, need to stop pointing fingers unless we're looking in a fucking mirror.

spongebobcrackwhore

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

The Blame Game




Here we go, everyone over the age of five knows this game, 'It Wasn't Me".
So goes the investigation of just who is responsible for the worst oil spill in the history of mankind.
It was them.
The sonsabitches who are the current crop of sacrificial goats all lined up today in a circular firing squad and pointed their fingers at each other . BP, Trans Ocean and those notoriously dirty motherfuckers at Halliburton.
I have some bad news for you little darlings of corporate America, each and every one of you now have a giant bullseye on your backs, as all three companies are directly tied to the biggest man made catastrophe in history.
Now we are hearing that this giant grease slick is actually FIVE FUCKING TIMES WORSE than we are being told.
By the way, it is still out of control and will wind up in the Mediterranean before this even begins to get under control.
Just wait until the Europeans start getting their fisheries poisoned.



The Gulf of Mexico is already dead for a hundred fucking years.
To this day, twenty years after the Exxon Valdez dumped eleven million gallons of oil in Alaska, there are still fish that thrived there for hundreds of thousand years who have not returned.
There are still oil seeps coming out onto the beaches.
Guess what is going to happen to Louisiana, et al?



I have an idea that those dirty fucking bastards at Goldman Sachs are hoisting pitchers of champagne because when this is said and done, you are going to make the damage they have done look like a Chihuahua pissing on a rug compared to the damage you greedy fuckers are about to be responsible for.

This is a global disaster.
Global, as in Mt. St Helens dumping ash around the whole world, three times.

Global, as in the spent uranium that is now headed to the Continental United States from the spent munitions in Iraq.
You fucking people damn well know how bad this is going to be, you immediately tried buying off the locals for five grand apiece to keep them from suing your asses. One thing I would really like to know, actually, two. Who was the smart motherfucker that came up with that idea, and , do you really have so much fucking money you thought you could buy off every person living on beach front property around the entire Gulf??!!

That's some serious Chutzpa, ya dick heads.
I would have to think, if you think you have that much money, you are going to need it.

That five hundred grand you saved by buying off the sonsabitches who were supposed to be regulating your asses so you didn't have to buy that extra special shut off valve is going to look like a lollipop at the dime store when this is over.
Not having to file the plans for what you would do in this event is really going to catch a bunch of corporate whores too.


This is off the charts when it comes to disasters and you have no idea how to shut it off.

Thirty five billion dollars a year these corporations make, without paying a dime in taxes.

Because Corporations are people too.

Monday, May 10, 2010

All's Quiet At The Weasel Den

My roomie moved out the other day, he is house sitting for a buddy of his who goes fishing in Alaska during the summer. Good for him, I am going to miss his drunk ass though, hell of a cook and he did dishes too.

The place is a disaster now though.
I had enough room to get past the fridge and found a tote full of cookware I got from my Grandmother a year ago.
I have shit scattered all over now, trying to sort stuff out. I did three sink loads of dishes, gave my neighbor enough different kinds of knives to open a store, along with all the coffee cups he could carry and a George Foreman grill and other crap.

Time to downsize again.

I want to keep as much of Grannies stuff as possible, that's when they made stuff to last. Some of these things are sixty five years old, at least.
I knew damn good and well I had a casserole dish with a lid, found that.Bigger than this one too.




Antique cheese grater, check, antique flour fluffer with the screen at the bottom, check, more shit than I can shake a stick at, check.
Now I have to get rid of the Made In China crap to make room for the Made In America stuff that I loved since I was a child.


I even have her old Singer sewing machine, in the cabinet.
A lot of this stuff I am holding on to because they were going to throw it away and I figure by the time I am near death, the nieces, nephews and cousins are going to wish they had a little bit of something from Great Granny.If they don't , it's their loss.
In the mean time, I am going to use the shit out of it because it is Old School, high quality stuff.

As the saying goes, they don't make it like that anymore.

That and I just love antique shit for the same damn reason.

Antique Hunter Of God-Like Proportions



And the winner of the "Name That Antique" contest is...Demeur, who correctly identified it as a Georgian Traveling Apothecary Cabinet made of mahogany.

So correctly, in fact, that I found this apparently identical one for sale on Ebay and got overall dimensions along with some excellent pictures that show me a lot of construction details. That fucking rocks! The only thing better would be having the original plans.

I ain't going for an exact reproduction so I'll skip hand cut dovetails and shit like the spring loaded lockout on the doors when you lift the top. My sister wants it a little different anyway since she won't be using the square glass jars and such, not being a traveling apothecary herself and all.

Should be able to make it without too much trouble. I'll model it on the computer so I get all the details worked out and can figure out how much wood I'll need. And yes, I always buy a little bit more just in case. Like I have a choice most times. The place I get my exotics won't cut a board for ya anyway. Gotta buy the whole damn thing. Last time I was there I had to buy almost twice as much bubinga as I needed because any one board they had fell just short so I had to buy two. Still sitting on the drop. Good thing somebody else paid for it.

Not this time. I'm footin' the bill for my sister so I'll probably mock it up first in MDF before I go cuttin' any mahogany, which ain't exactly cheap. Hell, she'd probably be happy with pine but I might as well stick with the original material just 'cause it'll be cool to do that for her.

Anyway, many thanks to all who answered and a metric assload of thanks to Demeur. Having those other pictures I found helps me more than I can tell you. Screw the golf clap...you get a standing ovation.

spongebobcrackwhore

Another Fucking Monday

Damn, I need a vacation in the worst way.

Five more days of hell are on the line up.

My fucking back is out right between my shoulder blades again and I can barely move my head. Guess what I get to do today?
Pull a crank shaft out of a pump that has six inch main bearing journals and three inch rod journals. Thankfully it is only about three feet long. It still weighs over a hundred and fifty pounds.
I will put a sling on one end and use an engine hoist to carry most of the weight until I can get it clear of the pump housing.
Yay, I can't wait.

See ya's later.

Sunday, May 09, 2010

Happy Mothers Day

Look, I found some pretty little flowers.




Have a good one.

Saturday, May 08, 2010

Anybody got too much time on their hands?


It's been a few days since I've gone on a drunken rant so sit down, shut up and...oh, wait...forget that since I'm about to beg for help. Sorry about that.

My sister wants me to make her a reproduction of this thing. She seen it in some antique store, I guess. She calls it an apothocary cabinet but it ain't...I don't know what the hell it is. I'm thinking maybe a dentist or doctor's cabinet of some kind but I can't find pics or plans that even remotely resemble it.

My Google-Fu is weak. Got any antique hunters out there?

I can get a sense of scale from the picture and make it up if I have to but I'd really rather not go to all that trouble. Can't really tell what the wood is but I'll most likely use oak since it looks to be from a time when most things were made of it.

Anybody (who I haven't pissed off yet) know what this is? I'd be eternally grateful for the help.

spongebobcrackwhore

Yeah, Yeah, I'm Slackin'

Life gets in the way sometimes and the beer is nice and cold.
I'll get back to ya in a bit

Thursday, May 06, 2010

I Couldn't Begin To Imagine This

One British sniper, sixteen HUNDRED meters, five kills in 28 seconds.
It took him nine shots to get the range and kill the first motherfucker, then it was game on, using a big gun that was ranged for a thousand meters.
This fucking guy is amazing.

Davy Crockett has a fucking hard on.

He saved a British foot patrol from being ambushed in Afghanistan,, single handedly.*

I can't see ten feet anymore.
I'll drink to giant brass balls and superior optics, backed up with a die motherfucker
team attitude, combined with some serious assed talent.
It takes a bullet two and a half seconds to travel that far.

* Kudos to his spotter too! Of course, no mention of that guy.

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

I Am Sorry To Inform You,

All those checks you are looking forward to from Nigeria just might have a waiting period from Hell.
I hope yours didn't close before theirs did.

If you happen to be that fucking stupid, my contact info is available.

Look forward to a brief interlude while they put this asshole in the ground.
Fed EX and UPS may not be able to deliver the millions you were promised and Ed McMahon is still dead.
What the fuck, it's about the same damn thing.


Don't worry, Namibia will be glad to take up the slack, right after your fucking Congressman mails you a gimme money, I am up for Re-Election mass mailer.
If, by chance, you are reading this from the state of Connecticut, tell that bastard Lieberman, he owes you money, seriously.
Tell him he can just donate it to whoever the fuck is going to run against him.





Fucking assholes.

Tuesday, May 04, 2010

Same Shit, Different Day.

The Gulf of Mexico is still a catastrophe of Biblical proportions and so is our fucking government.

Hit the Blogroll.

Monday, May 03, 2010

Fucking Pussies

That would be those right wing chicken hearted fuckers on the Supreme Court.
They are going to make everyone go through the servants entrance to get inside now.
What a load of crap.


The Supreme Court is closing its iconic front entrance beneath the words "Equal Justice Under Law."


Beginning Tuesday, visitors no longer will ascend the wide marble steps to enter the 75-year-old building. Instead, they will be directed to a central screening facility to the side of and beneath the central steps that was built to improve the court's security as part of a $122 million renovation.

Two justices, Stephen Breyer and Ruth Bader Ginsburg, called the change unfortunate and unjustified.

Breyer said no other high court in the world, not even Israel's, has closed its front entrance over security concerns.



He said the main entrance and front steps "are not only a means to, but also a metaphor for, access to the court itself."


My emphasis.

Believe that shit?

Fucking Pussies?
OH HELL YES.

Hey, if ya can't take the heat, don't take the fucking job, it ain't like you are irreplaceable.
As a matter of fact, I think several of the bastards need to be replaced immediately.

Corporations are people, spit, if that's the case then make the dirty motherfuckers pay taxes like the rest of us.

If, as they say in the article above, they spent a hundred and twenty two million fucking dollars on an upgrade, can someone not design it around some thirteen fucking foot tall bronze doors that are in front?
Why make everyone go under the fucking steps?
Hello? McFly?
Jesus, this country has turned into a giant bunch of fucking pansies.
It's beyond ridiculous.

This is supposed to be the most powerful country on the whole goddamned planet but ya can't walk up the steps to the front doors of the highest court in the land.
That is infuriatingly pathetic.

Sunday, May 02, 2010

How 'bout some good news for a change?

This is from Portland, Oregon. It ain't much of an article so I'll just post the whole thing (horribly bad writing and all).

Two jail inmates who gave first aid to a stricken Oregon sheriff's deputy are being credited with help saving his life.

The Multnomah County sheriff's office said the deputy and an inmate work crew were helping a stranded motorist in the Portland area when the deputy needed medical assistance Friday afternoon.

James Parker and Michael Smith began cardiopulmonary resuscitation with assistance from a 911 dispatcher and a doctor who stopped to assist until emergency crews arrived.

The sheriff's office said the deputy is a 25-year veteran but asked that his name not be immediately released while he recovers.

Officials say quick thinking and immediate action by the inmates helped save his life.


You gotta like that....them guys could have bailed and taken their chances or just stood back and watched but instead they stayed and saved the life of the cop who was guarding them. I dunno what they were in for but if it wasn't serious (which it probably wasn't since they were on a work crew) I'd say they just paid their debt to society in one fell swoop.

Good on ya, James Parker and Michael Smith.

spongebobcrackwhore