Tuesday, March 31, 2009

I Have Met The Enemy, And It Is Me

Good Lord what a PackRat I am!
I have been hauling crap from here at the folks back to the Weasel Den, only to find out I need to throw out of bunch of crap there to make room for the crap I already hauled out!

What a mess.

Keerist have I been busy.

I did make some progress, just a little.

I still have more crap than will fit in the new place, I have come to that conclusion.

A bunch of ratty dishes went clink, clank, crash, goodbye.
That stuff is easy to come by at garage sales or Goodwill.
Several boxes went out with just a cursory glance at the contents, see ya!

Of course, I had to cherry pick a few things here and there just because, hey, it's my stuff.
I went and got some propane for the heater, did a spot carpet cleaning job at the foot of the bed, the whole place needs a major carpet cleaning, it's pretty bad in some high traffic areas.Found a decent place to stash my hardware, with a couple of false walls, found an antique clothes drying rack that collapses after ya take the rods out, that was pretty cool.
About three or four of the rods need to be replaced, they are just long dowels but the ends have been turned down to fit in the holes, I don't see much of a problem replacing those.

The toilet works, I will spare you the intimate testing process.

I found out why the POS stereo worked for two days at full blast while I was gone and never worked again.
A.
It is a POS.
B.
It is a twelve volt POS disguised as a component stereo.

C.
There is no battery because apparently my new one went bye bye with the Rat Hole, dammit.

D.Where the battery is supposed to be, the cables were just laying on the sheet metal base, shorting out.
A little electrical tape took care of that but the stereo is terminal, it works for one second and then fades away for three seconds, repeat as often as it is on.
Shorting it out must have fucked it up.

No matter, a car stereo will fit easily and sound ten times better than that thing did when it was new.

The A/C works but it has a weak circuit breaker and needs a massive cleaning, along with a new filter.

I killed a few mushrooms in the back corner and have the stuff to fix the leaking roof, I just have to wait for it to quit raining and find a ladder, shouldn't be too big of a deal.

My old television actually works, I thought it was too old for the new digital shit, whatever, I don't watch TV hardly ever anyway, a bunch of brain damage at the push of a button.

My onion sets are going apeshit, I snagged some more of those little peat cups in a tray for three times what I paid for the last bunch for half the quality and started what was left over that wasn't rotten.
I started some sweet Banana Pepper seeds also, we shall see what happens there.
I love those things.
I put a few packages of seeds in the freezer for the next few weeks until I can get the garden going, I didn't even look out there today, I was too busy.

Yesterday after breakfast, I was yakking with Gram and picking my teeth with a toothpick when I got that sick feeling that something just went horribly wrong in my mouth.
One of my artificial teeth that is built on a Stainless Steel pin came clear the fuck out of my mouth, right in front, on top.

I stuffed the damn thing back in the hole after giving it one of those, fascinated that that shit came out of my mouth, intense inspections.
I have a dentist appointment at 8 o'clock in the fucking morning with a new dentist, the one who did the work retired. We shall see what kind of warranty they have.This new guy took over the business. This thing is only a couple of years old and the one right next to it is over thirty and has had a direct hit from a solid steel bar and didn't come out.

It was experimental when it got put in and that guy didn't screw around .
He actually drove the pin in my upper jaw with the cutest little hammer you ever saw and glued the absolute shit out of that thing.
Ohhh, the memories of that little procedure, you can thank your lucky stars you ain't had that done to ya.

Anyway, I still have a ton of shit to get done, so much for being on vacation, like Larue said in the comments, it ain't a vacation, it's parole.

It is now way past beer thirty.
Thanks fer stopping by.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

That Was Fun

I managed to get the transmission back in the Beast. I see I need to do a little fine tuning on the clutch adjustment. I fixed the fucking floor board too.

Had the kid who does the metal work cut me out a piece of sheet metal from a fucked up door skin on a Semi truck Friday before he left.
I drilled a bunch of holes and pop riveted it in in after I did some rust treatment.
The Fred Flintstone floor board is not conducive to comfortable driving, I hate it when my feet are dangling through the fucking floor boards.

I kind of knew there was something going on there but the floor mat was hiding it really well, I wasn't going to even look until I knew I was going to tear into the clutch. It was ugly but what the hell does one expect from a forty two year old four wheel drive in the Pacific North West?

I pretty much fucked off today but I still managed to get a few things done at the Weasel Den.
Tomorrow is Monday and I am going to go out of my way to stay in bed for an obscene amount of time.
I tried to do it today and I still got woke the fuck up by my cell phone.
That will not happen tomorrow.

Update;
Well, it wasn't my cell phone this time, I got woke up by the house phone and one of those automated messages.
Motherfuckers, I didn't even get the pleasure of telling someone to fuck off.
So now I am awake and have a hangover that would outright kill a lesser mortal.
Fuck.

Time for a beer, I'm on vacation dammit.

Saturday, March 28, 2009

US Torture Legal Enablers To Be Investigated For International Law Breaking

Finally, someone is going to really test the legal opinions of the weasels who twisted and turned the interpretations of law for the Bush administration so they could justify torturing people.
Spain is leading the way.

There is no doubt in my mind that what John Yoo, David Addington , "The Stupidest Fucking Guy On The Planet", Doug Feith and that no good sonofabitch Aberto Gonzales did to enable the mistreatment of prisoners was criminal, now I get to see professionals go after their asses!

It's about fucking time.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Busier Than A Seven Peckered Billy Goat

Damn straight there ain't no rest fer the wicked.

I don't think I can even remember all the shit I did today.

First off, Granny has been waiting for three months for this piece of shit, goddamn little plastic tray that was supposed to just slide over the top of her walker.
It showed up yesterday, and just as planned, it didn't fit.

I took the fucking cafeteria tray with two slots in it to work, along with her walker and spent 45 minutes with a Die Grinder opening up the slots that were supposed to slide right over the handles out and then throwing a couple of screws with rubber tubing on the outside on the back side of the damn thing so it would do what it was supposed to do.
She can just lift it off if she doesn't want to use it.That got done at nine thirty this morning and she is absolutely thrilled to have it.

In the mean time, I tried to keep the guys in the shop on track to get what needed done, done.
That didn't work so well because I have two guys that pretty much do whatever the fuck they want and spend half their time yakking at each other because my boss goes around me constantly and gives them these little projects to do.

In the mean time, I started figuring out what it was going to take to repair the throw out bearing arm that sticks in and out of my transmission because nobody has parts for a forty two year old Ford, anywhere, in town.
I backed it into the shop the other day to load up some crap and that was the end of that, the clutch quit working because the idjit I got it from fucked up the throw out bearing AND the arm that levers it back and forth.

I get to go to the shop tomorrow and finish putting the fucker back together.
Just for a bonus project, I found out I have the Fred Flintstone floor board going on.


I finally had an epiphany and realized the spring clip that had broke off could be reproduced with a bit of ingenuity by grinding down an old Sawzall blade and burning a couple of holes in the end to screw it down to the arm.
Ninety bucks and several hours later, My buddy Norm stuck the transmission back in my truck, after a great deal of fucking around with a piece of shit transmission jack and me laying on my back with a flashlight in one hand and a prybar in the other.I would have never got that sonofabitch back in by myself.

I had to beat feet after work and go pick up a prescription for Granny, bring that and the walker here, had a beer, took off for home, stopped and had a drink, went to Bi Mart, picked up a toilet seat and a lid , some canned goods, there was fuck all for ammo, more empty shelves than I ever want to see again, I snagged a brick of 22 LR and some 22 shorts, that was it.

Stopped and grabbed some smokes and then
tore into that toilet.
I have twenty five onion sets going gang busters, I snagged some more seeds for the garden I hope to put in before I fall over dead.

Yadda , Yadda, Yadda,
This has not been a great day and I have so much shit to do it would make yer head spin.

I finally got the toilet fixed in the Weasel Den tonight, I have about a ton and a half of big rocks to load up, by hand, and drag off, a hot water heater to swap out, not the one you are thinking about, a propane fired one that lays on it's side and has to have the outside cover glued and screwed to keep the rain out.
I have to fix the roof, finish unpacking, clean the joint up, fix the lights and do a ton of laundry.
Then it is time to pack up all my shit here at my folks, move that back, snag a couple of fucking cats and try to get them acclimated to a new place and finally get about thirty containers of garden soil unloaded, make some more raised beds and fuck all if I am not going to drink a bunch of beer in the next week.
I know damn good and well I am forgetting about ten more things that need to get done but I am going to fall the fuck down now.


Thanks for stopping by, if it gets a little quiet around here, it will because I am exhausted.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Terminally Ignorant Fucks Handed Asses, Vow To Stay As ignorant As Current Events Allow

Ya know, I have had about all I can stand with these ignorant motherfuckers that defy solid evidence and keep trying to make our fucking kids get taught that evolution is not a viable subject to be taught in school, and are dead set about making Creationism the Official Policy, making tax paying citizens pay for fucked up text books and subjecting every damn kid in the school district they happen to be a majority in have to sit through this fucking idiocy and are supposed to take it as fact.

Listen up, assholes.

If you actually passed a Math class while you were jerking off in yer socks over Miss Bible Class, you should actually be able to follow some basic fucking logic.

Fact, you claim that the entire Earth is less than ten thousand years old.
Counter Fact,
The Bristlecone Pine tree has been documented to have survived in it's current state for over four thousand years, with direct, physical evidence, that it's forefathers were there long before that.
Counting the growth rings inside a living or dead tree will tell you how long a tree has lived and what the seasonal conditions were for every single year it was alive.

Add one and one together you ignorant fucks.
There is your Ten Thousand years, right there.

Two trees.


Shut The Fuck Up and stay the Hell out of any decision making process that has anything to do with educating our kids.

You are certainly entitled to your beliefs, I have no problem with that per se, just stay the Hell away from the educating of our kids, you are intentionally retarding the most technologically advanced generation in the history of Mankind and I have to tell you, Mankind has been around for Ten Thousand years, at least.
How do I know this?

I have heard Mother In Law jokes older than that.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

So, How Is The Economy Working For Ya?

It's getting scary out there.
I have been house sitting for my folks for the past three months, and I have to say, this is not down town.
This is a fairly solid upper middle class neighborhood and I have been having the strangest shit go on since I have been here.
I have this one guy that stops by every week and wants to collect the empty beer and pop cans I put in bags and set out.

OK, have at it dude, I been there and ya are more than welcome to 'em.

Two minutes ago, at Eleven Fifteen at night, the door bell rings.
Not a good thing.
I don't recognize the beater car in the driveway so I take a precaution before I open the door and here is the Beer can dude!

He ain't happy because there aren't any cans outside!

What. The. Fuck?!!

I took the garbage and recycling out three hours ago and I know damn good and well there was at least ten Beer cans in sacks, in the recycling.


Somebody done beat the guy out of his money, which ain't much, but he came to the door a couple of weeks ago and asked permission to get the cans.I can't fucking believe there is someone out in this area that is ripping off the Can Dude.

That's fucked up.


Apparently there is someone in more dire straights, and the Can Dude needs to rearrange
his schedule.

He was not happy that there were no beer cans in the recycling and rang the fucking door bell at quarter past eleven to let me know that.

A locking storm door and a deadbolt on the front door, I ain't worried about the guy busting in and demanding a half rack of empty beer cans but it is sure as fuck a sign of the times when someone is swiping beer cans out of the recycling at ten o'clock at night.

The poor bastard was giving me a guilt trip because I told him he could take them and tonight there wasn't any when he got here.


By the way, this is going to be a big surprise to the old man when he gets back into town.

Heh,the poor Can Dude is in for a let down too, When I split, the cans are going with me, Daddy don't drink beer anymore.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Suck My Ass Bobby Jindal




Yer dumber than a box of cat shit.

Stupid fuck, next time someone tells you there is a Hurricane coming your way, remember me.

To be real, we both know that you are not smart enough to pick on Volcano monitoring by yerself, that is a given.

By now, who ever was the Dumb bastard that put that talking point into your speech is now trying to find daylight out of the bottom of your parties deepest shit list.


Unfortunately for you, ya spit that talking point out on National television like you knew what the fuck you were talking about.
I know damn good and well you have been taken to the woodshed by a ton of other folks but if you think for one fucking second that I am going to let that slide, I have some real cheap recreational property to sell you, called Mt. Redoubt, Ya got no doubt.
Bring a shovel and tell all yer friends, they have lots of money I hear.

Monday, March 23, 2009

I Am Going To Be Nice

A lot of people took care of me every other day, when I was trying to grow up, and made sure I got to grow up to be the Ornery Fucker I am today and did so without complaint, it is my turn.

Granny went out of her way to show me some pictures of my skinny ass when I was about 11.
Before I had my nose broke eight fucking times, before I smoked three tons of weed, before my Mother died, drinking herself to death, before I drank enough whiskey to make a natural born fucking Irishman blink twice.

Granny did a good thing, she reminded me that family takes care of family.
I needed to be reminded of that tonight.

If ya got some, look at them sideways and remember that ya fucking love them before they aren't there .

She has no one left in her family except her daughter, my step mother.
I only have my real brother and my Uncle on my real mother's side left.
I am also lucky in that I have grown up with a huge family.
Two other brothers that I love dearly, and a family that goes with them that would make yer eyes pop out.

They are all family and I love them dearly, there is no difference.

I raised a couple of beautiful children, who have a beautiful older sister with a three year old, who all call me Dad, the greatest accomplishment of my entire life, bar none.
I am proud of all three of them.
It don't get better than that, I love them with all my heart.

I ain't boasting when I say they are beautiful kids, one look at them and one look at me and you would know damn good and well I had no part in their genetic make up.



I don't give a shit if you are blood related, My Gram has always accepted me for the ornery little fucker I have always been for 38 years.

That is unconditional love.

I know this because I have learned how that is so true, you can love anyone, treat 'em like blood relatives because after a while, they are.

It don't fucking matter.

If they love ya enough to put up with yer ass, ya love them and their kids as yer own, what fucking difference does it make?


Yes, we have had our differences, but kids are kids and Mom's are Mom's and Grannies are Grannies. Brothers are brothers and cousins are brothers too.

Fuck with one of mine and find out what I am talking about.

My Republican relatives and I have gone toe to toe and not talked to each other at times for quite a while.
Fuck the politics, it is always a beautiful thing to see their kids.
I have watched two generations grow up now, that is scary because I can't remember their names sometimes and their fucking kids have grown up to be as tall as I am and I ain't fucking Santa Clause.

Lot's of great babies grow up to be twice the adult I was at their age, or maybe not, that is where a little small talk ,one on one can go a long ways.
My pleasure to watch that happen.
The best part is, when bad things happen and someone needs a helping hand, the phone rings and shit happens, right, fucking, now.


I am very lucky in that regard.

It is my great privilege to do my part.

Everyone has their day to day complain, I am no different, I just know that I am one lucky bastard.

Kiss 'em and hug 'em and kick 'em in the ass when they need it,
You'll miss 'em when their gone.


In the mean time, I have several things to take care of, one is, the fucking toilet didn't seal and I am going to go All IN and fix that motherfucker for once and all fucking time, next week.
I ain't fucking kidding either, there is going to be shit flying through the air and waterproof adhesives sticking to the floor like peanut butter in a dogs mouth, baby shit on a blanket and cat piss in yer favorite leather jacket.

Watch me.


Piss me off, motherfucker, we shall see who wins in the end.

Saturday, March 21, 2009

It's A Week Early, So Sue Me

I completely forgot about my Blogiversary last year and don't ask me why, I just happened to think about it tonight.

On the 27th, this little bit of Blogtopia will turn three.
Three years I have been churning out expletives and rants that would make a sailor blush.
That's something, I guess.
Here is my first post, just for posterity.

My first post

I had to start this blog to leave a comment on somebody elses blog. I will return later and leave some kind of raving lunatic rant about politics or something.


How prophetic was that?!
Yep, I ranted and raved during the BushCo regimes tenure and I ain't done with those cocksuckers yet, either.
This current financial meltdown is in no small part, from their watch.
I know Clinton is not blameless but just for shits and giggles, take a hard look at reality.

Anyway, Obama and those spineless fuckers in charge right now sure as shit are not getting any kind of free pass, I call Bullshit when I see it, I don't care who is in charge.

There is Bullshit going on too, never seems to be an end to the fucking over of the average working person.

I have actually tried to steer away from the political crap because it makes me very, very angry, and I don't need the stress, I have enough lately, thank you very much.

Anyway,
I would like to take a moment and personally thank anyone and everyone who has stopped by to see what ever I am ranting about, I appreciate that it is a conscious decision to take time out of your day.
Thanks.

To my regulars, (that just sounds weird to type),Thank you for your comments and continued readership.

It took a long time to get any kind of traffic through here at all, and over the last year, this little juice joint kind of took off.

I just want you to know that I am sincerely grateful for the support.

Phil Paul, AKA, Bustednuckles, the Ornery Bastard.

Back To The Old Homestead For A Visit




I'm off to visit The Weasel Den again.
First I am going to head down to the Eagles club and enter a dart tourney.
They put in one of those electronic dart boards and I have been brushing up on my mad skillz.
I used to throw a pretty damn mean set of darts back in the day and have won a few tournaments.
I have a buddy down there who's first name is the same as my last name and we look so much alike that people are constantly mistaking us for each other, it is pretty hilarious sometimes.
Come to find out, he is wicked good at darts also, let the fun begin.
I whupped his ass one game and he turned around and whupped mine the next, this is going to be fun.
After that, I might tackle the shitter in the Weasel Den again, joy, joy.
If nothing else, I am going to unpack some more shit.

Later, gators!

Thursday, March 19, 2009

One Set Of Big Balls, Two Four By Fours, Meet At The Speed Of Sound.

Roll over and die.

Why Should You Give A Shit?

Ya know, this has been bothering me all day, ever since I read the following article.

Daughter says independence likely led to moonshiner's suicide.


Why? Because that would be me in his situation.
Give me a few months and we could be look a likes.
Good lookin feller.
Meet Marvin,"Popcorn", Sutton, as he was.



I feel for his daughter but I know where the guy was coming from and that is something that is hard to articulate.

Hardscrabble, get it done, do what ya got ta do, this is the face of America past.

If you would have asked this man what pressing button A and button B at the same time would do, he would have spit tobacco on yer shoe and called ya daft.

Ya know damn good and well he knew more about getting by and surviving than three hundred blocks of people in down town New York City would ever know.
I think that is what is bothering me about the abrupt loss of this particular individual. He knew how to get by and thrive at the same time.
One more loss for this country, an individual with balls.
This guy was a real, live, American.

Old school.

No such thing as a seat belt law, cell phone law, the kind of feller who would take his hat off in the presence of a lady and would help you get a cow back inside the fence on a Sunday night.



There ain't that many folks left in this country.

I never met the man, never even heard of him until today but I mourn his passing.
The amount of knowledge that passed with him will be missed, the fact that he decided who was in charge of his destiny and who could kiss his ass is priceless.

My condolences to his family and especially his wife, who he left behind.
She might not be so glowing in her remembrances but that is understandable, I would have to think he just might be a little Ornery.
In my opinion, this country could use a few million just like him, bet me he could shoot straight.
God Rest Yer Soul, Popcorn.


If his daughter ever reads this, my condolences that you did not get to see him again but that was for your own good, guaranteed, in his eyes.

H/T Fark , you guy's rock for finding the best stories.

I Smell Like A Fruit Salad

The thing about staying at my folks, and being a guy is, I take a shower, I use the soap and I get out, done deal.
Oh No, not tonight.
I got douched with diesel real good today and I went and jumped in the shower and the soap wasn't quite cutting it, what little hair I have left was not giving it up.
Unfortunately for me, I can't see a fucking thing without my glasses on .
So I get in the hot shower and find out the soap ain't quite cutting it and look in front of me and see all these bottles of shit and squeeze tubes and who knows what the hell any of this stuff is, fifteen different offerings, I counted them later because I couldn't believe how many were there.
So, being a guy, I start at the top and start opening these unfamiliar objects and start doing the smell test. Smells like watermellon or apple or strawberry, I should be OK.
If not, put it back.
I don't give a shit if it is conditioner, it has heavy duty grease cutters in it,they just smell better than Brake Clean.
So. I dabble here and there, blind as a fucking bat, but when I get done, I feel...... kinda icky, but better. At least I am clean.

I definitely smell better. My feets were stinking pretty good, toxic sock syndrome kinda thing.
So I get out, dry off, notice how freakin' pretty I smell and grab my glasses.

Uh Oh.
I see I have been swabbing in some kind of Sea Weed shit, skin conditioner and skin scrubber shit.
Hey, my bald head is shining like a new dollar.

I really don't want to know what the other twelve things are supposed to be for.

I will be buying some John Wayne ,hard core, skin stripping soap first thing tomorrow.
80 grit.

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Backing Away From The Abyss

Holy Shit what a deal.
Every single employee where I work has this shit. All of 'em.Even the administrators in a different building have been hammered.
I see it has pretty much went through the whole fucking country, just by cruising my normal reads.
Knock yourself out with Nyquil as many times as it takes, sleep is the only thing that will get rid of the fucker.

Sonofabitch, Ten hours of knock out last night and I felt 90% better this morning but I am going to knock myself the hell out again just for good measure.


How much better do I feel?

Those assholes at AIG just lit the torches in this country, finally.
I literally saw on the NYT site that they were refusing to reveal the names of the bastards slated to receive the bonuses that they were doling out on the tax payers dime because they had received so many death threats.

No, Really?
Who knew so many people living in fucking tents still subscribed to The New York Times?

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Ever Have One Of Those Days?



Because you can't just watch that once,

Monday, March 16, 2009

Happy St. Patrick's Day

My favorite holiday.

A couple of old Irish blessings for you,

"May you have the hindsight to know where you've been
the foresight to know where you're going
and the insight to know when you're going too far."


I'll drink to that.




H/T to Elaine's Irish Blessings and Google images.

Prepper Kitty Sez,



I had a neighbor guy I work with fool around on a mini bike and wreck it and tore his knee all to hell, now he is going to have surgery and be off work for several months.

When I found out he was in the hospital I had his buddy and his kid come over to my place and I loaded them up with three handcart loads of goods. Food, powdered milk, toilet paper, all kinds of stuff so that his family had something to get by on until they got some other assistance.
Of course I will have to replace it all but at least I had it to give.

There is a hard to describe feeling of calm that comes over ya when you open up the pantry and it is full, when ya really need it.

Right now, I just got out of bed because the phone woke me up, I called in early this morning to work and told them I was staying home.

I really suffered with this head cold all night last night.Wicked sinus pressure, headache, stuffed up head and body aches. I have had this cold since last Thursday and it is kicking my ass.

I am going to try and break the fever later today.

Keep prepping, this economy is still FUBAR.

H/T Lolcats for the picture.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Uggh

Head colds suck major ass.
This is the third one so far this year.
I took a four hour nap at noon today and then took Granny shopping.
I made something to eat and have basically been sitting here vegging out, perusing other peoples sites.
Do some of them a favor and peruse the Blogroll until my head clears up enough for me to think.

Thud.

Skippy, I Love Ya Man.

In case ya aren't aware, Skippy the Bush Kangaroo is my adopted GodFather.
I don't think he even knows.

The first Big Name Blog to link to my sorry ass, Skippy has done more than anyone I can point to with an empty beer bottle for an example of righteousness when it comes to linking to little farts like me and about three hundred other small blogs to spread the word and steer some traffic our way.

Awesome seems like a small word, a very small word.

Blogroll Amnesty, that would be Skippy and another righteous dude, Jon Swift.

Selfless.
Giving.
Inclusive.
Been there, done that and get yer ass up here, I am eternally in their debt

Now then, as I was just perusing Mr. Skippy, I see he has a little Iron Maiden up, he is above all, a music guy.

Seeings how I can get into that a little bit,and I would very much like to invite my friend Mayberry into this, let's have some,



Oh, hold on to yer ass, there is more to come,



If yer still upright and have some testicular fortitude, Have some more.
Children of the Damned.



Oh, and let us not forget, Wrathchild,


Have a nice day.

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Everything I Ever Wanted To Know About Toilets


Can I just get this out of the way and say I had a shitty day?
Fuck.

The toilet in the Weasel Den was broken, literally.
Don't ask me how but somehow the fucking toilet seat was broken and had some freakin tape trying to bridge a big gap on one side and water would come flying out and soak the carpet when ya flushed the damn thing. I got the thing cheap for a reason.

I mean, I don't have an ass, I can't even find one on sale but Christ, a broken toilet seat is bad news.
So, I had the guy's that demolished the Rat Hole save the fucking toilet so I could have the pleasure of swapping shitter parts to make one work.
Yeah, fabulous, right?
Not so much, trust me.
For those of you who are so blessed as to not have a fucking clue about a square plastic turd funnel with foot control valves to flush with, the picture above was as close as I could get, just imagine a couple of foot pedals hanging out to the right.

So, I had two of these fuckers to take apart to try and make one, not to mention the local hardware store had no clue about the neoprene sealing ring.

Let me just say now that I bought three fucking wax rings today.
My hands are as smooth as a baby's ass.
The wax is beeswax, I believe, and there is a ton of Lanolin in it, whatever the fuck it is.
When I got to this part of the whole deal, I said Fuck. This.,


Trying to swap this fucking nightmare out twice was not happening.
This is 2009, the shitter parts are from 1985 and 1981 respectively, do the math, that is a lot of turd herding through that little beauty.
Nuh, uh.

So, my buddy took me up to Home Depot, where we encountered a most useless fuck of an old man , who deserves every dime he makes ,and we brought back a real, live, porcelain toilet, in parts.
Let the fun begin.

Let me tell you something right now, a real friend, is one who will haul yer ass to Home Depot, help you pick out a fucking toilet, and then get down on soggy carpet and help you put that motherfucker in, even when it does not want to fit.

Thank You, Steve.
I owe ya one.

This is where the multiple wax ring part comes into play,

I had that dirty sonofabitch on and off six fucking times.


He even went home and got his Dremel tool so I could modify the slots for the mounting bolts, there is a sliding door right behind the tank that now has less than 1/4 inch of room to do it's thing,
Of course, I forgot to get a fucking seat for the damn thing and the fucking water line does not fit.
Another trip to the Hardware store.
The poor ladies down there see me coming and fight over who is going on break before I get to the fucking register.

All this and sick to boot.
Bonus round, my Uncle showed up while we were at Home Depot and hauled a giant butt load of garden dirt, boards to make raised beds with, 60 onion sets,and I was supposed to help load all those fucking rocks he wants.
Double bonus, it rained all day and he was hauling a horse trailer with a horse in it and was concerned about blocking the driveway. Poor fucking guy about killed himself hauling all that shit by himself from the truck to my back yard.
God love him, the worst part was we passed each other as he was trying to get on the highway and I didn't have his fucking cell phone number.


I am literally going to fall down and call it done, that toilet can wait until I feel better, I will walk out back and piss behind that fucking tree, again, if I have to go that bad.

Fuck. Me.

I see antibiotics in my future.
This place might be pretty dead for a couple of days.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

My Standing Eight Count.

I am exhausted, I feel like warmed over cat puke and I am going to bed.
I am coming down with the latest mutation of this fucking head cold that keeps going, and going, and going, and going.

Mother fuckers at work will not stay home when they are sick and I know exactly where this one came from, a guy I work with who has a little fucking kid.
The kid and the wife have been sick for a week and this asshole too.
I felt the fucker coming yesterday but I am all done today.
G'nite.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Good Shit

Go a little easy on the peas, about half of what she uses is more than enough.

I am going to make this next week for Granny, she doesn't eat as much as she should.
She doesn't do garlic or Cheese but I have had this several times and it is damn good eats, especially for lunch the next day.
Half and half, I'll make half of this for Granny and the other half will be Cajun, buried in Sharp Cheddar.
You can really do a lot of tuning with this dish.


Yum!

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

What'samatter, Can't Keep Up?

Here we go again.

Fucking POS Republicans are now whining that Obama is doing too many things at once and not focusing on one thing, the economy.
You ignorant, obstructionist, backwards motherfuckers.

Just because y'all got used to cheering when Bush actually strung a whole sentence together at one time doesn't mean that normal people can't do more than one thing at a time.
Jesus.
Talk to any mother/housewife for a minute.
They juggle more shit in one fucking day than you stupid bastards deal with during an entire season.

I'm telling ya to yer face, yer moving backwards on this little bitch yer trying out here.

Now I see that your party has found that obstructing legislation isn't even working for you and now it is going to be all about targeting certain key figures in the Democratic party and try to focus on knocking down their personal approval rating.
Give. Me. A. Fucking. Break..

While you idiots fuck around cannibalising each other, it is of the utmost importance to you to try and pick apart one or two Democrats.

You are now officially beyond pathetic.

Ya can't possibly be moving towards irrelevance any faster.

Rush Limbaugh has you little pussies pissing all over yerselves every time one of ya steps up and tries to show everyone yer balls and opens yer yap, it is hysterical to watch from this side.

Now Newt Fucking Gingrich steps up to the plate and hits a pop up fly and Rush is all over it.
LMFAO, Gingrich is one crazy motherfucker and he will go after Limbaugh like a two bit whore with an eyeful of jizz who just got stiffed by a two bit drunk.
This could be entertainment above and beyond watching cats swim.

Keep it up boys,my wildest dreams are being realized, every fucking day you keep trying the same old, tired and ridiculous eighteenth century political strategy.

Bernie Maddoff To Plead Guilty

According to the LA Times, Maddoff is going to plead guilty to eleven counts, including,
money laundering, perjury and securities, mail and wire fraud.
The potential sentence could be up to 150 years.

I hope he gets every bit of that and although he is seventy years old right now, I hope he lives to a hundred and ten, fucking bastard.
This guy ripped off friends, relatives, even charities, fer chrissakes, leaving them penniless.
Scumbag doesn't even come close.
50 Billion dollars worth, by some estimates.

He has been under house arrest in his goddamn PENTHOUSE!
Anybody else would already have a new boyfriend waiting for you to come home to Daddy.

Fuckin' lowlife bastard, die in prison.

Monday, March 09, 2009

Lots Of Things Going On

After work today, I stopped by the old homestead, lol, The Weasel Den, to check the mail.
One thing about this Daylight Saving Time bullshit, I farted around there and didn't get back here until seven o'clock and it was still daylight.
I managed to drag a bunch of crap that kind of got left in between the two spaces all the way behind my shed so it doesn't look so much like a junk yard when someone drives by and if someone wants to move in , they can.
Drug a bunch of crap out of the future garden spot too.
My Uncle dropped off some Strawberry plants in buckets that a friend did not want the other day and I drained the water off of the buckets and slid them all together and snagged a couple pieces of clear plastic sheets together over the top of them to make a makeshift green house for now.

He brought me a plastic compost bin too.

Off the scale nice of him to do, he lives clear the hell and gone away from my place.

He was going to bring me some extra garden soil and some boards to use in the garden but decided to wait until the weather clears up and I don't blame him a bit.
It snowed very briefly when I went to work, snowed briefly twice again later, hailed like a sonofabitch this afternoon, the sun came out and it was snowing when I pulled in the driveway here.
It only lasts a couple of minutes but that gives you an idea of how fast and often the weather changes around here.
While I was out in my future garden, I started pulling some weeds, big mistake, I didn't have any gloves.
An hour after I left , my hands thawed out and my knuckles were throbbing like a sick chickens ass.

It is going to be a while before I can get serious in the garden but It felt good in a way, kinda like,

progress.

I can't wait.

Sunday, March 08, 2009

It's Spring My Ass!

Daylight saving time, it is now 12:08 PM, on a Sunday, March 8th and as I look outside, it is snowing like a bastard.

Now it has quit.
We get some goofy weather around here this time of year.
Last night I had to make another beer run and I went out and my truck was covered in frozen rain pellets.

I remember last year, late May, it hailed two solid inches and then snowed.
I couldn't get my garden in until June.
It will probably be the same this year.
I just want to get into my place and get busy.
Twenty odd days, the folks should be heading this way.

I am glad they get to take some time off, they sure as hell deserve it and they enjoy it immensely.
Nice and sunny with warm temperatures where they are at, it sure as hell isn't snowing.

I have a lot to do and right now none of it is getting done.
Oh well, patience, soon enough I will be getting with the program again.
I see in the news that the financial catastrophe is right on schedule, now any pensions I was looking forward too are going to go up in smoke.
Fuckers.

I have to take Gram down to get a prescription filled sometime today, no hurry, just some nose drops.
In the mean time I think I will do some laundry and kind of pick up a little.
Gotta change the cat box again, that is always a good gagging.

Stupid cats, ya let 'em outside and they sit in front of the sliding glass door with their little legs crossed until ya open it up and then they hightail it into the bathroom to use the litter box.
Something is wrong with this picture.

Update:
Speaking of cats, that little fucker Baby is bored but won't go outside, go figure.
She has been tormenting the other cats, sharpening her claws on my mothers furniture, (A BIG no no) and generally being a nuisance.
She has jumped up on me three fucking times already and I finally had it.
I gave her a good flying lesson and then drilled her ass with my baseball cap at a dead run from eight feet away, while sitting down.
I think she went into the bedroom to sulk.

Anybody that tells you that you can't train a cat needs to see my baseball cap throwing abilities.
All I have to do is move my hand towards my forehead and that little shit is peeling out.
She HATES "The Hat".

Update Two:

Sigh.
Stupid cat.
Not two minutes later, here she comes again, whining,"I'm BORED"!

I coaxed her ass over and snatched her up and threw her ass outside, where she currently sits, staring into the sliding glass door, with her back legs crossed.

Saturday, March 07, 2009

Titties And Beer!!

Yesterday was my nephews 21st birthday and his dad decided to take him out for a few drinks at a strip bar.
He asked the young man who he would like to go along and I was on the short list.
I haven't been to a titty bar in years and years, damn, did I have fun.

The young man got the gynecologists special from the young ladies when they found out it was his birthday and the dollar bills were flying.

I couldn't really afford to go, I will suffer for it next week but ya only turn 21 once, and I was due for a break, I have been busier than a cat trying to bury shit on a hot tin roof for weeks.

I am still going to be busy as hell for the forseeable future, such is life.

I am two blocked because I am here at my parents until the end of the month and it is too expensive for gas to be running back and forth to work, here, my place for a couple of hours and back to here.
Rinse and repeat, I try to get a little bit done on the weekends and as soon as I cure this hangover, I am off to get some more unpacking and cleaning done at The Weasel Den.

One good thing about this whole fiasco is that I will have a pretty good idea of where I stand in regards to having food and supplies, a sort of on the fly inventory.
I already know I am way behind where I would like to be and taking three months off has not improved my situation, except for getting a much bigger and nicer trailer to live in and a big garden spot to work on later this Spring.
The planting season is generally fairly late around here.
I have found that although The Weasel Den is ten feet longer than The Rat Hole, it does not have near the overhead cupboard space. I am going to have to get creative with storing all my canned goods.I think I had something like fifteen liquor store sized boxes of just canned goods and a couple of bigger boxes full.
That stuff is heavy!
I also don't have near enough space to store all my pots and pans and cookware.
Groan, this is going to be a challenge and I think I see a garage sale or a hefty donation to someone in my future.

Thursday, March 05, 2009

Because It Rained Like A Cow Pissing On A Flat Rock Today

The Sky Is Crying, by George Thorogood and the Destroyers.
It's nine minutes long and worth every second of yer time.

Inspired by the nice folks at Late Late Night.
Ya might want to check out some of their selections, these folks have it going on!

Holy Crap, I'm Outta Beer!

I shall return shortly.
I hate it when this happens.
H/T tip to my lovely friend Suzanne for turning me onto this little ditty, enjoy until I get back.



BTW, the reference to KPIG?
If ya like the Blues, tune in on a Saturday night.

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

It's On, Motherfucker, The Cyst Thinks He Is Da Man.

Oh yeah, it is time to lance the Pilonidal Cyst of the Republican party.

I am right this fucking second watching the future Convicted Felon, Tom, The Bug Man, Delay, claim that Rush Limbaugh is not the leader of the Republican Party, next up, The Cyst himself, attacking Michael Steele.


You will have to excuse me while I clean up a small personal mess.

This is so fucking fantastic, I can't hardly stand it.

Delay, now trying to rewrite history and trying to blame the Democrats, again, for the current economic meltdown.
Claims Bush is innocent of any fucking bit of this.

Why?

Why is this scumbag on television?

Why is this fucking cocksucker not on trial and headed to Cock Roach heaven?

Stop, I just ate.

Somebody stick this fucking criminal in a crate and send him to Afghanistan, rocky side up, they could use a good laugh.

Why is this fucker walking around in the first place?

OK, back to the cannibalism currently under way in what is left of the Confederate Party,

YAY!!!


Y'all want Rush Limbaugh as the head of the Republican party?

BRING THAT SHIT RIGHT THE FUCK ON!!!

I couldn't have dreamed about such good fortune even six months ago!

Cripes!
Throw some blood money into a large pit and throw these motherfuckers into it and put a lid on top.
Let the biggest fucked up, delusional sonofabitch win.

I could really give a shit which one it is, y'all is going to be the Captain of the Titanic, politically.

In my wildest dreams, I could not have foreseen the back stabbing over the carcass of a dead political party that so deserved to be buried alive.

Rush Limbaugh?
OMFG, Bring it.

Excuse me for a minute.I had to think about that and pick my teeth, that shit ain't easy when you are laughing uncontrollably.

Ditto heads.
Bwaaaahhhaaaaaahahaha!

Fucking morons.

At least my cats can lick their own asses independent of a radio personality telling them when they should eat some shit and call it biscuits and gravy.

Thank you, Lord.

Michael Steele?
Bring it.

Tom DeLay, Newt Gingrich, Bitch McConnell?
Bring it.

The stench of extermination and irrelevance is palpable.

Keep running yer yaps boys, The old cotton fields of home are calling your names.

Monday, March 02, 2009

CPAC, 1832.

I was going to let this go because I have been so busy but some little cutie asked.
Yeah, you.

Where do ya start with these fucking assholes?

Let me do this.


Ann Coulter.
Lol, yer a sick bitch. Ya have a tendency to go on National Television wearing the same little black cocktail dress, over and over.Here is a hint, I hope ya got some clean underwear in your purse at all times.
If not, I am going to have to speak to yer mother.
Ya seem to have some kind of vitamin deficiency, fix that.


That whole, I just went through a High School Football Team Thing?

Knobby kneed bitch, get some. here is a hint.

Christ woman, get a new look,either that or patent a new catfish bait.

I certainly hope they figure out this little scam ya got going on about voting in places ya don't really live at, I figured out that shit twenty years ago and so has every every body else trying to get out of jury duty.
STFU and ask Palin about Massengills.




Next?

Rush Limbaugh?
HAHAHAHA!
Dude, I am saving you for last, you acidic worm medicine piece of shit. I'll get back to you later.

The "Honorable" John Bolten, otherwise known as the Rabid Walrus.


I really don't give a shit what this bastard had to say because I can pretty much paraphrase it blind drunk,

Iran,Iran, Iran!

The only Walrus ever documented to speak English , running in a Hamster wheel, while spinning his beard into a bullet proof vest costing a half a million bucks on the black market.

Where the hell is Rumsfield?

Dude, dig deeper, we haven't forgotten your ass.

One more, STFU,


Bill fucking Kristol.
Dude, I want you to declare that you have the winning lottery numbers and convince every fucking Republican and wannabe to throw their entire earnings, savings and the potential inheritance from your whole family all the way down to that one crazy aunt who willed all her money to her cat, onto negative four hundred ,sixty three. Call me, I have the tickets.

Let us not let Dick fucking Cheney to go unnoticed either.
Maybe some sympathetic Republican idiot can forget about the Billions of dollars this cocksucker squirreled away while in office and can spring for a paid for European vacation for the fucker, and he actually forgets about those pesky war crimes and goes, with extra luggage.

Whoowah! Here ya go!

The student donation ?

Tax deductible.

Yeah, teaching intolerance is fucking tax deductible but sex education is completely intolerable.

Y'all can go Fuck yerselves and spend a few days arguing over how that just worked for ya.

I am really sick and tired of y'all trying to shove your morality down my throat and me having to explain this fucked up shit to my beautiful 17 year old daughter.
Her Mother has already done an exemplary job of explaining to her to keep her knees together, as it should be . I have had to chew her ass for lying about where she was and where she was supposed to be,among other things, and Daddy don't mess around,.
I don't need you tight assed mother fuckers passing laws because you can't talk to your children.
















Sunday, March 01, 2009

Here It Comes

I got an Email from my uncle telling me that my Paternal, soon to be 95, grandmother is coming over to the Weasal den for a visit in the morning.
LMAO.
I replied That the only thing I could guarantee was that I would have a couple places to sit, which is quite the improvement in itself.
Oh yeah, and that everybody had better go to the bathroom before they come because the frikkin' toilet is busted and I ain't fixed it yet.
There is a McDonalds a couple blocks away in case of emergency.

I have been wore out, I didn't do a damn thing today, a load of laundry and vacuumed up a couple of pounds of cat hair.


Today was the first time in a couple of weeks that I got to visit some sites I like to keep up with but even at a whole day, I am still far behind where I would rather be.

Anyways, I am going to have to get off my dead ass and go clean the joint up enough to find a couple of seats, it will be nice to see Granny, I have been remiss in my visits for about a month.


I have a weeks vacation coming and if I can survive long enough, I do believe I will be taking a week off right before my parents get back so I can focus on getting the joint liveable.